Shroan

Location: Secunda, South Africa

Member Since: June 2010

Open for read requests: Yes

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I read recently that people with hobbies like writing and painting and such go into a sort of meditative state when they perform these tasks. Their breathing deepens, their hearts slow, and they become more calm as a result.


Does that then mean that writers are tranquil, peaceful individuals? I don't think so. I, for example, have to battle every single day to keep the red mist of rage at bay. Isn't it that way with everyone? No? Just me then? Alrighty then.


All right, all right. This is a profile after all, I suppose I should tell you something meaningful about what I'm like, otherwise what the hell are you doing here?


How does one sum up the boringness that is my life? Oh, let me count the ways.


My idea of time well spent is the entire day in front of my computer, or, as I like to call her, Old Unfaithful. If I could have my way, I'd have a burly bodyguard at the door to bar all access, coming or going. I'd prefer him to be slightly unhinged, to add to the fear factor. (If you're tall, muscled, mean looking, willing to work for peanuts, and missing a few screws, do give me a call!)


Unfortunately, I don't get to spend nearly as much quality time with afore mentioned Old Unfaithful as I'd wish, which results in less updates on my current stories than some impatient but truehearted readers would like. I'm sorry my dears, it's not my fault, it's the education system. They're cruel taskmasters, the lot of them. I mean, really, who uses algebra anyway?


What's that? Speak up. Oh, you want to know what my favorite quote is? All right, it's:


Ichigo: “Ahh, crap! Great, we lost him. Or me. Or whatever the hell you wanna call him.”


Rukia: “We're at a dead end here.”


Ichigo: “What? Look, we don't have time for your Soul Reaper nonsense! I have to capture him! I mean, me! I mean, I'm not sure I know what I mean! But you saw it too. I mean, the riot he caused in class. I mean, that jerk used my body to take advantage of Orihime and Tatsuki and then he k – k – k-”


Rukia: “He kissed them, yes, I know.”


Ichigo: “This sucks, don't say that! My life is over!”


Rukia: “Please, get over it already. A kiss is nothing more than a form of greeting. I fail to see the problem. I mean, in this book I was just reading, it said there are far worse things that can happen to a girl.”


Ichigo: “Oh, will you shut up? This is a catastrophe! He came on to my classmates! What the hell kind of books are you reading? Ghaaa!! I put years into crafting my image!”


Rukia: “Image? So he looks and acts that way on purpose?”


So then boys and girls, what have we learned from this little exchange? That Ichigo uses far too many exclamation points, as well as the phrase; “I mean.”


What is my favorite movie, you ask? Well, for a long time it was the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, but recently I found myself altogether enchanted by the charm of Tim Burton's Alice In Wonderland. The Return of the King still comes in close second, though.

Is that enough boring facts about someone you don't know? Not yet?


My favorite song, then? Let's see … hmmm … I'd have to say it's a toss up between The Big Pink's Velvet and Queen's I Want To Break Free. Such a tortured soul, I am.


All right, one last question, and make it a good one.


What's the most traumatizing thing that's ever happened to me?


Well, the only one I can tell you about that isn't R rated is the time I stabbed myself through the thigh with a knitting needle. It was completely by accident, of course, and didn't hurt nearly as much as you'd think, but you've no idea how many grown men's faces I've turned green when I described the shluuuuuck sound it made when I pulled the thing out. I still get my jollies thinking about it.


Well, that's it for now, lovelies. I'm off to go see a man about a better lock for my door. Those damn people I call my friends keep interrupting me while I'm fantasizing about … *shiver* … Draco Malfoy

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