Saturday Morning

Reads: 143  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 1

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Adult Romance  |  House: Booksiesilk Classic Group

Inspired by true events and a conversation with a friend

Bright sun peaks
Through the slanted blinds

The wind blows
The wispy curtains

Our sighs speak
Of morning’s ‘hello’

Soft hands trace
Lazy swirls on skin

Fingers roam
On our backs and hips

Your lips tease
Of kisses to come

Union brings
Relief so swiftly

Bodies throb
In synced harmony

Our mouths search
For something to taste

Sweat trickles
Down reddened faces

Passion peaks
From sweet connection

Voices chant
Names on a prayer

Pleasure ebbs
To comfort that lasts


Submitted: July 15, 2020

© Copyright 2021 Writing_wall44. All rights reserved.

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Comments

DampKitten

This is one of the best poems I've seen on this site in forever. Really Fantastic!
I love the aesthetics, the geography of it...the microscopic stanzas, the short bursts of imagery. This is visual. This is tactile. This is painting with words and leaving the eyes to gather understanding.

Let me mention your masterful use of consonance...the repetitive 's' sound which speaks to the sensuality. It's present in practically every stanza and it binds the piece together as your primary poetic element, outside of physical structure. At the end of the piece, you use the "p" sound in the same way. Alliteration.

I Love the ending, the final statement. It extends the virtue of the piece into eternity.

Something you don't do - use excessive words. You are so succinct and deliberate. Few people recognize the power of minimizing. Where have you been with this kind of work?

I'm blown away...

Thu, July 16th, 2020 1:48am

Author
Reply

This made me so happy. Thank you so, so much!

Wed, July 15th, 2020 7:44pm

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