Anger Pains

Reads: 169  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 3

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksiesilk Classic Group


I’ve been fighting the voices in my head for so long
I’m not even sure what they’re yelling for
I scream just so I can find some peace
But it blends in with all the other gore

My silent screams only reach the demons
And they delight in my misery
They gamble for the chance to beat me down
I bide my time; one day, from me, they’ll flee

It’s been so long I’ve forgotten how to stand
I’ve been drowning so long, I don’t know how to swim
My lungs burn and my body aches
The pain resonates in each of my limbs

I’ve carried you through the trenches
Bandaged each and every single wound
I can’t ignore this bleeding soul
Your loyalty I will impugn 

I’m fighting my own demons
I don’t have the strength to live for two
Take your wars to your own heart
I can’t fight your battles for you

You slit your wrists just to watch me bleed
Each breath is a million swords
Covered in our blood, buried under guilt
How am I the only one covered in scores

Broken and bloody, I refuse to be defeated
I refuse to be a scapegoat or liability
If you can make it on your own but yearn for more
Treat me humanely, then we’ll see


Submitted: June 28, 2020

© Copyright 2021 Writing_wall44. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:

Comments

DampKitten

Wow. One of the deepest most moving pieces I've seen here in a while. You've been saving this up? I'll tell you what. Third stanza from the bottom is probably my favorite because it's so smoothly elegant and the meter is perfect. I'm a sound person. My favorite line is "You slit your wrists just to watch me bleed". That really is incredible metaphorical imagery, the concept of people hurting themselves for the purpose of hurting others. Suicide is probably the most extreme example, but there are so many others.

I think what I like about this piece the most is the conversational tone, particularly in the final stanza where the punch is more literal and definitive. You've summarized your title perfectly and carried us through the agony and the struggle. This is no retreat or surrender. This is staggering resilience bloodied in the corner of the ring, awaiting the sound of the bell.

Really good!

Sun, June 28th, 2020 3:36pm

Author
Reply

Thank you.

I’d actually written it a couple months ago and posted it on my blog but totally forgot to post it here. I remembered this morning.

The slit your wrists line is actually what inspired this whole thing. I had a bit of a falling out with my best friend, she chose her abuser over our 25 year friendship. It very much felt like she was killing herself just to spite me.

It’s definitely written during a time of suffering so it’s more raw.

Thank you for reading and thank you for the input.

Sun, June 28th, 2020 11:08am

DampKitten

Interesting...
You do realize that people will always choose their abuser

Sun, June 28th, 2020 7:25pm

Author
Reply

I do actually. That doesn’t make it hurt less on this end though.

Sun, June 28th, 2020 4:14pm

DampKitten

Point taken...absolutely

Mon, June 29th, 2020 2:20am

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