Crazy Feeling's

Crazy Feeling's

Status: Finished

Genre: Thrillers

Details

Status: Finished

Genre: Thrillers

Summary

A man's feelings crashing to the surface and hurting people around him.

Summary

A man's feelings crashing to the surface and hurting people around him.

Content

Submitted: October 11, 2012

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Content

Submitted: October 11, 2012

A A A

A A A


As I run into the kitchen, slamming the door open and heading straight for the cutlery draw, I pulled out a very sharp and long knife and sat straight down. Tears running down my face I pull out a cigarette and light it up then putting the knife to my leg, and then started to think how did I ever get to this point in my emotions that I hate to make everything go away with pain. Drawing blood from my right leg I started to think about everything that happens to be going threw my mind at the time. Which happened to be the relationship I am in now, no matter how hard I try I never seem to get happy deep down. I could never explain the feeling that goes on in my mind! Knowing that I am only to blame for putting myself in this position, I seem to push everyone who tries to make a difference away and want to deal with things on my own. I’m so scared of everything, being a father and being a good boyfriend and maybe a husband, I have thrown everything away before and it happens to me over and over again! I wish I could ever explain my feelings to anyone but it never works out. I have hid so many emotions and feelings that I am full to the bone and keep exploding and end up not only hurting myself but more importantly the people that matter in my life. I have made the biggest mistake in the history of man, and I could only wish to turn back the time and start over and make better decisions.

You must think a man with this many problems should be put away and locked up for good, but I try to be the same as everyone. I could only wish for friends I could trust because everyone has let me down or I have ended up pushing them away!

Looking down at my leg with blood dripping down and hitting the floor, I just laugh to myself because I cant even feel the pain! Its just another feeling to add the amount I already have, I don’t even know what to do with myself, I need more help than I can ever imagine!

After the pain I just put my leg threw I started to clean the floor that was covered in blood, she would be back soon and I don’t want anyone to know about what I have just did.

Seeing her face is just the best thing in the world, she means everything to me and I really don’t want her to get hurt any more, it would be safe for her to stay away! But as much as I try and say this out loud I have been sat here without her and it hurts.... Thinking that she would want to be with someone else close to her and not me, to be fair I wouldn’t blame her at all.... She is the most beautiful woman I have ever met and I can say that hands down, but as much as I tell her it doesn’t go in, I try so hard! I think she wants to hear it from other people, would make her a much better person!

I think its time to sleep now, its going to be so hard as she is not by my side!

I need her!

She is amazing!

She is so beautiful!

The most beautiful woman ever!

She is the woman of my dreams and always has been!

What have I done!

Any person that is with her is the luckiest man ever!


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