Obsessive Cat Disorder

Obsessive Cat Disorder

Status: Finished

Genre: Romance

Details

Status: Finished

Genre: Romance

Tags

Summary

Tara has OCD and her daily struggle is real! at some point she gets tired of all her shit and seeks help.

Tags

Summary

Tara has OCD and her daily struggle is real! at some point she gets tired of all her shit and seeks help.

Content

Submitted: September 05, 2015

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Content

Submitted: September 05, 2015

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Tara looked down on the dirty floor on the bus, melting snow and dirt made mudd puddles all over.

She wanted to rest her head on the seat but her OCD kicked in and she kept her upper body straight as an arrow, terefied that any part of her skin that was exposed was resting on the filthy bus seats.

She kept looking out of the windows knowing that the black hole in her chest would grow if she faced the crowd of people sitting on the buss with her.

As long as she kept planning how to walk out of the bus with out touching any one or anything , her heart would be calm for now.

The winter was the best as well as the worst, it was cold so people had thick jackets and gloves so the chance of having any skin to skin contact was minor.

The downside was the cold, exactly colds..snotty dirty sick people everywhere coughing and sneezing.

Blah!...gave Tara chills just thinking about it.

 

Counting the street signs she was getting closer to her apartment, nr 16 and two signs more and she had to get off with out screaming this time.

That was her goal, people look at you weird if you scream for no aparent reason she figured.

A couple of weeks ago. the one poor old lady screamed with her as she ran of the bus, Tara had scared her and she decided to chime with her.

It wasn`t funny really..but she had to laugh for something, God knew she could not laugh of her own sick twisted mind, never giving her peace.

17...get ready Tara, She shot up out of the buss seat as quick as she could securing that there would be no contact with it or the person beside her.

Instead of waiting for the person to move it`s feet she jumped over their legs and shoot straigt for the Stop button with gloves and 3 pices of paper (just to be shure...)

She punched the button and ran for the small but clear opening between the bodies standing in the middle of the bus.

As the doors opened she could feel this rush of satisfaction, she did it! But in the last secound someone ran inside the bus as she was running out and as if it all went in slow motion her body shoot towards that someone.

A big «Thud» sounded and a man «umphed» loudly.

It all went so fast and before she knew it she was on the ground, atleast she saw the ground, and she had landed softly to softly actually.

And then it all hit her...

As the man under her was grunting and making weird noises .....

That she was ON someone, a man.

 

Her brain and nervesystem jolted her heart skipped several beats and her fingertips felt like they where being electricuted.

«No no no! get of me ! get of me»

Tara screamed standing up clumsy and out of balance, her hand on his chest as she rose up.

« hey ! hey calm down! you where/ landed on to me!»

Tara could barely stand up, her breath pitched and high struggeling breaths made the air around them go white.

« hey; are you all right, do you need something?»

Tara made her way over to the buss stop, carefull to get 2 wipes of paper ot before she touched the supporting pole.

« Just Don`T come any closer and breathe that way!!!» She said while poiting and waving her hand somewhere oposite of her direction.

Apperntly he had to be a little afraid of her reaction thinking that she had an astma attack or something like that because the bus had passed a while ago and he was still standing the looking around and accationaly turning his head to see if her breathing had slowed.

« Try to breath through your nose, it helps.»

He said looking away pretending not to pay attention to her has she was still hanging on that stupid dirty pole.

Rolling her eyes she tried it and weirdly enough her breathing seemed a little less labored.

« just watch where you are breathing please!»

Tara said snarkly. The man turned around and came closer,

» I don`t understand you ran me down, and you covered me as i layed on the cold pavement. Not the other way around wh»

 

Tara grabbed the pole and quickly turned her head the other way desperate not to get the steam of his breath anywhere close to her face.

« Just, Just stay where you are.. And Dont move please!»

She said as her hand where waving franticly again.

After a while and he still had`t left even after her breath had slowed and she felt better, she looked at him, apart from his bowler hatt he looked quite dapper.

« Hey, I am sorry, I have a thing with people and dirty busses I am sorry for falling, well actually running on you and the landing ON you once again»

He did`t smile at her but there was a hint of a smile hidden in his deep blue eyes that she could barely see because of that stupid bowler hatt.

« yeah, well you seem to be breathing fine again, I need to get somewhere I am alreday late»

Tara smiled and nodded, packing her arms around her, terreified of him trying to shake her hand or something, he seemed to be that type of man, a gentleman.

Too bad for her that she did not do men, well she did men.....

Just not any intimate things involving touching or breathing or body fluids «YUCK!»

 

 

Who was she kidding she was a nun ,not an actual nun just in the no action part...

But from a distanse she could watch as long as there weren`t any sweat or spitting involved and that was about all the action she would get.

Sometimes she would watch the guys play football in the park in the summer.

She loved those first five minutes as they pulled of their shirts you know because of the heat, and as they played more it got hotter, in the air off course.

Then she had to leave ..because of the sweat and the spitting....

God she was, pathetic!..train wreck, as a human she was a pathetic excuse.

As he walked away her fake smile faded and she started for her way home to her apartment.

She hated going home, it all felt so lonely, despite what you may think Tara actually liket people, hearing them talk and laugh.

Often she dreamed of being one of them, and then they would chew their food to loud or pick their nose.

But still she wanted someone to share her days with, she thought about having a cat.

They seemed semi clean and tidy, except that they CLEAN them selves, every where....with their tongue..No! not happening...

 

The steps  seemed  harder to walk, But she had to keep up with her system one step two step pause, one step, two step pause, while trying to find her wipes ready.

 

When she came to the door she locked it open and pulled the handle three times,

as she came inside the light switch had to be turned on and of there times.

 

After that she had to lock the door again and repeat the same ritual before she could take of her shoes and jacket and then her cleaning ritual next.

 

It became harder and harder everyday, her rituals had grown never ending.

 

But the thought of not doing them scared her so much it made her gasp for air, every detail of it was exhausting she wished she could just jump in the shower and eat and go to bed like a normal person.

 

But no, she had to wash her skin with one type og soap three times then was her hair with shampoo, first the scalp then the rest of her hair.

 

In the end of it she had this strong antibacterial that was just for hands only, but Tara had to use it on her whole body, it tinged and burned at the back of her knees and all of the other places that had after a while turned into wounds because of the excessive cleaning.

 

Jumping up and down in the shower until the burning sensation had dulled, then start the drying prosess.

 

God! it was never ending, 

«I JUST want to go to sleep!»

 

 Tara thought as she started with her face and then her upper body, under her arms and other had to be last in order to make sure she did not transfer any bacteria or other  in places that in her mind was clean and dry..

 

That night Tara could`t sleep, his eyes where still there everytime she tried to close her eyes.

 

No matter how many times she got out of bed to straighten the corners of her duve her  mind would not give her peace.

 

Usually it worked  she would fall soundly asleep exhausted from work and all her rituals but tonight she kept wondering how it would feel to be able to touch someone, hold their hand because you wanted to.

 

 

 

when the sun slipped through her curtains she had had enough, she had been awake all night and was supposed to go to work in a few hours.

She left a message at work calling in sick, she never did that but today was different.

As the night had shown all it`s dark corners and her bedroom ceiling had casually turned itself into a counting maraton Tara had made a decision.

 

She would find someone that could help her, she would kick this OCD to the curb and start having i life!

 

 Maby travel to a another country, well maybe the other side of town would be a god start.

Eat in a restaurant, get a pet a boy…. Boyfriend...

 

The though took her by surprise.

For all her adult life the thought of having someone just seemed selfish, why force someone to live with  this shit everyday.

 


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