Any Port In A Storm

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksiesilk Classic Group

It's the mid 1990's and Richy has once again come home alone from the popular annual Desperate And Dateless function.

He decides that the night is still young and puts on the car radio as he cruises along the beach road to an all-night "dive" that he has been a regular at for the past five years or more.

This time though Richy will come with an all or nothing formula for success.He is a great fan of a new and crude world beating aussie guitarist and singer named Kevin "Bloody" Wilson.Richy has been to a few of KBW's performanes at regional towns in Australia and his favorite lyrics are from one of KBW's biggest hits.

Richy is inspired by the phenomenal live crowd reaction to all of Kevin's seemingly mostly self written songs.He assumes that being observant Kevin"Bloody"Wilson is writing from either his own or his friends'experiences.

This night of so far more abject failure Richy just knows what he has to do to turn things around.

Richy already has the tape in his cars holder and presses "PLAY".....The name of the ditty is called Kev's Courting Song.Richy turns the volume up and again listens intently to the Lyrics.....

"Do You Fuck On First Dates"

"Does your dad own a brewery"

"Could I feel your tits"

"Or would you show em' to me"

"Do you sleep in the nude"

"Do you give head very often"


"If the answer is NO"

"To my questions about love"

"Could you give me the name"

"Of a girlfriend who does"


"Now I've been spat at and slapped"

"I've been kneed in the nackers"


Richy of course only memorised some of the lyrics that seemed relevant to him.Tonight was going to be HIS night and he would finally "roll the dice" in his new who dares wins state of mind.Richy was now upbeat and parked his car and walked the 50 or so yards to the venue.

The Sign said.....




Submitted: November 08, 2020

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Add Your Comments:


Amy F. Turner

Awww, poor Richy! He did all the memorizing for nothing because the venue was closed. :D Murphy's Law if I ever heard it. Good one!

Mon, November 9th, 2020 5:41am


In a way thank goodness that the venue was closed.I Think poor old loser Richy would have got his face slapped or worse.I Read up on Kevin on the nett.He actually met his wife of now 46 Years after he had come off stage after one of his shows.All of his lyrics to his songs are so sexual and laced with the "F" word that only over 18's are allowed to see his live shows.
Thanks for replying Amy.

Mon, November 9th, 2020 4:41am


Poor Richy. All reved up with nowhere but cyberspace to go now. The pleasures of sex he won't be feeling tonight other than those provided by his hand.

Mon, November 9th, 2020 5:50am


I Think that Richy's world was all about going solo with hand jobs and living in hope!
Thanks for replying Ron.

Mon, November 9th, 2020 4:53am

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