The girl underneath

The girl underneath The girl underneath

Status: Finished

Genre: Memoir

Details

Status: Finished

Genre: Memoir

Summary

An account of one little girls fight through abuse,mental illness, and becoming a young parent. Myka is just an innocent little girl when a family member first assaults her in a sexual manner,she tells of her life from that point onwards, and re-live's a harrowing tale one of her childhood... *names have been changed to protect identities*

Summary

An account of one little girls fight through abuse,mental illness, and becoming a young parent. Myka is just an innocent little girl when a family member first assaults her in a sexual manner,she tells of her life from that point onwards, and re-live's a harrowing tale one of her childhood...

*names have been changed to protect identities*

Content

Submitted: October 19, 2012

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Content

Submitted: October 19, 2012

A A A

A A A


Chapter one

An account of one little girls fight through abuse,mental illness,

and becoming a young parent. Myka is just an innocent little girl when a family member first assaults her in a sexual manner,she tells of her life from that point onwards. Some names have been changed to protect identities, and to maintain anonymity.

Myka was around three or four years old, a happy innocent daddies girl who loved to climb tree's, play football, and get mucky during playtime. She would often be found playing with her male cousin's - and without a care in the world. She had a mummy who worked allot, and a daddy who also worked allot too, her parents were not perfect but they did the best they could. One day in the summer of 1993 or 1994 (the exact date can't be recalled) she was visiting her mother's cousin (who she called aunt Lilly), She encountered the first act of abuse on her. It was warm outside. The sun was splitting the tree's, her mummy and aunt Lilly where having tea smoking cigarettes, and talking about the latest gossip. As usual they were distracted by one and other's company, Myka's brother and sister were also there, they had ran out to play, so Myka had finished her juice, and ran out behind them, only to be met with a menacing glare from Peter (aunt Lilly's grown up son), he grabbed Myka held her so tight she could not breath, and he touched her "down there". That was the first time it had ever happened, and would be burned into Myka's memory forever. Myka struggled to get free, and ran back into the house where her mum and aunt Lilly were, back to safety - for now, Myka's face was red from the struggle, her heart racing, her hands shaking with fear, no-one knew or suspected what had happened on that occasion, and little did they know because of this a guarantee was created - one that would ensure Peter was never caught.


As time went on Myka's mum would leave her with Peter as he would often offer to babysit, Myka would try to resist his offer by pleading to go with her mother, who did not know what lay in store, and would reassure Myka that she would return shortly. In the end Myka would have to give up and accept her fate. On each occasion something new would happen, a "new game". Myka's fear grew and grew, nowhere was safe as "it" would even happen as she was going to the toilet, the very basis of her fear of using the bathroom in that house. She was a very young child, who had no idea what this young man was doing to her, or why he got that lump in his trousers when he hurt her. She was not safe in any place in that house, and was often held upsidown with her mouth covered to ensure she could not scream, and then he would proceed to touch her, it was very painful, and to this day she is haunted by the whole ordeal. It didn't stop at touching, Peter also liked to use his "lump" on her and to make her touch it whilst he would breath heavily. During visits Peter would get Myka to sit on his knee, one day her mum scolded her for this,Myka has never known why, or if there was a reason at all. Myka would always get a bad feeling about what Peter did to her but his silent threat scared her enough that she kept quiet. It wasn't just in that house, but in alley ways, the local video shop (out of plain sight), and anywhere else. It was almost like he enjoyed taking the risk, and yet knowing he may not be caught at all. The sad thing was that Peter was never caught and Myka never told, instead she had nightmares and could eventually not remember Peters actions, until the day when it all came flooding back.......

It was summer of 2002 Myka was 12, a happy moddy pre-teen who loved poetry and music, sleepovers and being poular in her circle of friends. She enjoyed spending alot of time recently with her bff Kate, Myka and her mum had gone shopping on a sunny afternoon, they were planning a barbeque, they picked up all the stuff they needed and as they were headed out to pay for the parking they bumped into J- Peter's brother, they hadn't seen him since Myka was young because everyone lost contact. J offered Myka's mum, and her,her brother's and sister down the following weekend for drinks and to stay for the night, Myka's mum agreed - Myka had no memory of what happened in her childhood so, at this point she wasn't worried about seeing Peter again. They parted way's and Myka and her mum joined everyone else for the barbeque it was beautiful, so nice for her spending time with her grown up siblings. There was plenty of jokes and laughter, Myka could not have been happier.


Friday the following weekend

As arranged at 6pm on friday evening Myka, her mum sister and brothers arrive at J and Peter's house. they have dinner and settle down to watch a DVD, shortly after, all the adults start drinking - Myka is enjoying having a gigle at the adult's merry chit-chat, the laughs and jokes, and general drunken manor goes on until 1am when nearly everyone goes to bed, Mykas mum was sleeping on the sofa in the livingroom along with her brother, J is still up drinking and Myka is also on an airbed in the livingroom. J was talking to Myka about when she was little and how she was such a tomboy and a little monster.. all those things adult's tend to say about kids when they have grown up a bit since that time.. Myka laughs at hearing about her tree climbing antics and putting salt in coffe to trick the grown up's, she thinks of all the good times and remembers some of the thngs J talks about. The convirsation dries up and it's quiet for a while, Myka is just staring into space as J messes around with his phone, then J catches her attention my making faces at her, almost like jestures.. ones she doesn't understand. when she tells J she doesn't understand he writes it in a message on his phone but does not send it - said"blow job".Myka knew what the word meant - vaugly and she was frightened by the suggestion J was her grown up cousin an adult she was merely a child, her heart raced her palms were sweaty, she was shaking and afraid of how she would say no or what would happen if she did. She shook her head no so that no-one would hear, J continued to attempt to persuade her and eventually gave up.

The next day everything seemed normal. Myka kept telling herself that he was drunk and probably wouldn't remember, and if he did he'd be quite shocked and embarrased ,and so she decided not to tell anyone. There were a few more sleepovers and everyone had a great time, Myka dismissed the incident on the first night as a drunken thing, and nothing else had happened over the next three month's.


The beginning of the darkness

Myka gave J her mobile number incase he wanted to contact her mum as her phone was broken and she hadn't got a new one yet, J didn't text or call in the first while, then one day he did, the message read "when ru coming down again x" Myka replied "when mum is going back down." (she didn't think anything of the message), before long the messages were flooding in night after night, they were friendly some were jokes and then the "lol"'s started at the end of the message like anyone Myka thought it mean laughing out loud as that was a common abreviation for that, but one day Myka asked J what it meant just to be sure, for something told her it may not be that, J replied "it means lots of love." Once again Myka was a little concerned, but she pushed it to the back of her mind and told herself she was just being silly.


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