Some funny stuff I've found on the 'net

Some funny stuff I've found on the 'net Some funny stuff I've found on the 'net

Status: Finished

Genre: Jokes

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Status: Finished

Genre: Jokes

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Summary

I do NOT claim authorship of these things. They were found on the 'net.

Tags

Summary

I do NOT claim authorship of these things. They were found on the 'net.

Content

Submitted: April 07, 2015

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Content

Submitted: April 07, 2015

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The boss called a spontaneous staff meeting in the middle of a particularly stressful week. When everyone gathered, the employer, who understood the benefits of having fun, told the burnt out staff the purpose of the meeting was to have a quick contest. The theme was Viagra advertising slogans.
The only rule was that they had to use past ad slogans, originally written for other products,
that captured the essence of Viagra. Slight variations were acceptable. About 7 minutes later, they turned in their suggestions and created a top ten list.

After all the laughter and camaraderie, the rest of the week went very well for everyone.

The top ten:

10 Viagra, Whaaazzzzz Up!

9. Viagra, the quicker pecker upper.

8. Viagra, Like a rock!

7. Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be
there overnight.

6. Viagra, Be all that you can be.

5. Viagra, Reach out and touch someone.

4. Viagra,! strong enough for a man, but made for a
woman.

3. Viagra, Tastes great! More filling!

2. Viagra, we bring good things to life!

and the unanimous number one slogan:

1. This is your penis.. This is your penis on drugs

 

19 Things to Do in the Bathroom Stall
1.  Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor,"May I borrow a highlighter?"
2. Say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that."
3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.
4. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."
5. Drop a marble and say, "Oh shoot!! My glass eye!!"
6. Say "Darn, this water is cold."
7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place and sigh relaxingly.
8. Say, "Now how did that get there?"
9. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."
  10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling,"Whoa! Easy boy!"
  11. Say," Interesting....more sinkers than floaters."
  12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?"
  13. Say, "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me!
  14. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot."
  15. Say, "Darn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"
  16. Play a well known drum cadence over and oven again on your butt cheeks.
  17. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down you "Cross-Dressers Anonymous"newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.
  18. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"
  19. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "Born Free."

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