Megan and McEvel Medieval

Megan and McEvel Medieval

Status: In Progress

Genre: Humor

Houses:

Details

Status: In Progress

Genre: Humor

Houses:

Content

Submitted: March 08, 2016

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Content

Submitted: March 08, 2016

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Our story takes place in an old and fabled Medieval kingdom, at a time of knights on horseback in shining armor and evil kings and handsome princes. On one beautiful spring day in this kingdom, the birds were singing, the flowers were blooming under a warm spring sun after a light rain the day before and Megan was at her washboard doing her evil step mother's under things. It was another day of drudgery, pure and simple: there was nothing pleasant about it for Megan.

“Yuck! It's enough to gag a buzzard. This whole thing is fucked up! When I get out of this sweatshop, she's going to do my undies and I'm going to shit in them first. I wonder what she'll think of that.”

She finished her work and was about to take her washboard to her next slightly less nauseating job, when she saw a regal carriage coming down the lane. It was midnight blue with very tasteful racing stripes in gold down its length.

“My, that's a lovely carriage! I wish I could ride it to clean Jack the Ripper's place today,” she said as it stopped in front of her window. “You can't park there. It's in my way.”

A man in a full length black cloak stepped out. The cloak hid his face. “Come with me, Megan,” he said. This carriage is for you. He picked her up and placed her in the carriage. “Who are you? I can't see your face. Where are you taking me”? she protested. Anxiously, she inquired, “Are. . .are you the evil McEvel Medieval people say kidnaps women and takes them to his dungeon?”

“No. I'm not any of those things. You can rest easy now. All will be revealed to you at the proper time.”

She lay down on her seat. “I've been working and I am tired. I'd like to rest for a while. . .” She was asleep before she laid all the way down. “Drive on, Merlin,” the man said to the driver. Proceed easily. The expected queen is sleeping.”

“Yes, your majesty.” The carriage rolled along over the dells while Megan slept peacefully. The carriage had to wait for a man in a golf cart to cross the road. The stop woke Megan. “Where are we?” she asked of the man, now without the cloak. “Now is the time to tell you all, My Sweet, Slutty Megan. We are in Hornyville, Pennsylvania and I am Prince Richard. You have been brought here to be my queen.”

“That's very cool. I'm in Horneyville with Dick and I'm getting hitched. Good for me!”

“How did you pick me? Did you use a glass slipper?”

“No. That's so passe. Nobody does that schtick any more. You write beautiful poetry.”

“How do you know? Nobody can read my diary. It's in my secret hiding place in my room and I have the only key.”

“I have been watching you at night and sometimes I watched you put it away. I read it then.”

“Ooohh! Kinky. You're a nice man and surely not McEvel Medieval.”

“He doesn't exist. I made up the name. I went to a Halloween ball dressed in a fur lined cod piece and a mask and when I introduced myself, people thought I said McEvil not McEvel. I gained a reputation that night. “Are you the guy who started this journey with me?”

“Yes. Why?”

“Well, You're pretty cute and the cloak conceals that. I don't want you to do it again. I want to see my man's sweet face.

“As my lady wishes, it shall be.”

“How do I get to the nearest shoe store? I want a new pair of pink tennis shoes.”

“I have two Porsches in the driveway for your convenience.”

“Not possible. Cars haven't been invented yet.”

“They would have been if Goldilocks hadn't been trying to get it juuusst right. May I point out that tennis shoes haven't been invented yet.”

“No tennis shoes?! That does it! Bring in a bulldozer and knock this place down.”

“Bulldozers haven't been invented yet.”

She took a deep breath and sighed. “Gosh, I wish we were in another century.”


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