Mrs. Claus' List

He stumbled from his bedroom to the top of the stairway while putting on his robe. He looked at the time and realized he had only time for a light breakfast before heading to his girlfriend's parents home for an early christmas dinner.

With two pieces of toast in hand, he started up the stairs to get dressed. He was pleased all over again as he glanced in the direction of his meager christmas décor. It was a mix of wooden blocks and small boxes painted like small presents. All were attached together in a pyramid with glue or nails on a flat base. When he finished it, he sat back and decided it would fit the holidays more with a light dusting of fake snow. After the snow came a touch of glitter and he pronounced it finished. His girlfriend was the best decoration of all, dressed in a red nightie with a white fuzzy trim.

“Looks like someone made Santa's naughty list.”

“Oh, no. Not his. Mrs Claus has one of her own. She is one slutty broad. I'd tell you about the arrangement she has with Mr. Claus but its confidential.

“Bummer!”

“Her name is Edna, by the way. She's a chubby chaser. And his name Ralph. He's her submissive bitch.”

“So what brought you here this early?”

“Mom says dinner is postponed for a couple hours."

What can we do for a couple hours? "

She raised her hand and excitedly said, "I know! I know!"

"I wthink I'llcall on the the sweet thing in the front row. What's your suggestion, Sweet Pea?"

"I need some of your special lovin' if I'm going to get through today with my parents. I suggest that Sir.."

"We have a winner!"