She was so persistent, that until now, given my conflicting desires, I wondered why I didn't tell her to stop or to go ahead. When I was eighteen years old, I had my first sexual experience with a girl older than me. She asked for money in exchange for her "service", which I paid for with some money I saved for a while. The moments I spent with her were what I expected, but experiencing it was on a level of its own. Feeling another girl's body, her fingers playing with "it", her lips as amazingly soft. I felt that I had betrayed my younger self, who once claimed she would never have sex with another woman. My desire to find a guy, get to know him and then, if possible, date him, was not really fulfilled. I knew I had an acceptable appearance which I didn't have a problem with at all.
Accepting myself gave me confidence to find people and get to know them. In the end, the girl who took my virginity took her money and left. I kept her number for a while, meeting her four more times. She told me she wanted to meet me again, but without paying, just sex. It felt so good that even when my older sister was close, arriving from work at 3pm, I would still be with this girl until a few minutes before my sister even turned the corner to our street. This girl was amazing, but I felt something inside me, besides the guilt, that made me question myself and my actions. For some reason I never was able to contact the girl, so I went searching online for another, meeting a chubby girl. She was quite a woman in appearance when I met her, but that just made me feel more interested on how it would be. I never did kiss the first girl, but with this one, I was kissed instead. Just minutes after we started having sex, she would ask me to be her girlfriend, that she would make for both using my house's kitchen. I felt odd and told her not to.
After we finished, she took of, kissing me one last time. Time passed following this meeting and some more girls would come and go, but the few three I would meet soon would make a difference. An impact that made question my life choices in love so much more.
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Book / Gay and Lesbian