Snap Back - Story Of a Borderline (part 1)

Snap Back - Story Of a Borderline (part 1)

Status: Finished

Genre: Non-Fiction

Details

Status: Finished

Genre: Non-Fiction

Summary

The story of my life as a borderline. Contains strong language/graphic scenes. Not suitable for children.

Summary

The story of my life as a borderline. Contains strong language/graphic scenes. Not suitable for children.

Chapter1 (v.1) - Snap Back - Story Of a Borderline (part 1)

Author Chapter Note

The story of my life as a borderline. Contains strong language/graphic scenes. Not suitable for children.

Chapter Content - ver.1

Submitted: August 20, 2011

Reads: 379

A A A | A A A

Chapter Content - ver.1

Submitted: August 20, 2011

A A A

A A A

Snap Back
The story of a boarderline

The skim of a tatty trainer brushing lightly against gravel and the moaning of
rusty chains as the links ground together allowing the swing to move. The air
was warm, the sky clear. Daisies dotted grass around thesmall playpark,
occasionally invading with it?s green spikes onto gravel squares that
surrounded play equipment. A wooden and concrete bench bleached grey with
age and sagged in it?s middle, leaned backwards onto a flimsy chainlink fence
as though it had given a final sigh. The far end of the park was nothing more
than a grassy hill with a shallow slide and an industrial concrete tunnel
skewered through it?s middle. The centre piece of the park was a decrepid see-
saw that had once been bright red, now it looked faded and worn. Should
anyone use it it would let out a god awful squeal. I closed my eyes and pushed
hard with my feet liking the sensation of swinging blind. I inhaled deeply and
felt real joy fill me.

SNAP BACK...

Green hospital walls, the sickly smell of pine and the sound of someone being
sick...?oh i?m here again?...Casualty...?What for??...?oh yeah?...OD. A doctor
with a heavy accent is trying to find a vein in my arm and keeps missing. My
arm looks like a pin cushion but there?s no pain, therenever is any more. Not
any real ?ouch? in anythingmore a monotonous drone of pain, slightly
annoying but incredibly tiring.

SNAP BACK...

The doctors talking to me but i?m so fucked I don?t know what he?s saying. I can
see his ID badge says ?Doctor William Swallow?. The line is in my arm and feels
like a fresh piercing, I can?t raise my head and am forced by my body to lay still
as i?m wheeled away. I watch the ceiling flick by like train windows until I
become aware of a nurse walking beside my trolley. Ilook at her and she looks
at me, I say

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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?Did you catch that docrors name??
She nods and gives a little smirk. I continue,
?Doctor William Swallow...Doctor...Will...Swallow!!!?
I give a lifeless yet psychotic laugh. The nurse doesn?t laugh but instead

gestures with her eyes.I manage to tilt my head back far enough to see that

Doc Swallow is walking right behind my head looking a bit pissed off.
BUGGER
I pretend to be asleep, then I am.
Clear bags of liquid...I feel sick...injection...better. Curtains rattle on an

aluminium rail...cold sheets...heavy head, doctors are everywhere, I?m
drowning in doctors...panic...can?t get up...world slips sideways...flies in my
ears...velvet dark.

SNAP BACK...

Awake to white, a peaceful white curtain, calm, quiet. I turn and suddenly a
piercing whistle fills the air. The peaceful curtain erupts into waves as a nurse
comes in to stop the IV alarm.

?you?re leaning on the tube.?

She gives a kind smile before leaving to subdue another distant alarm. I stare
at the black speckles on the ceiling and my ears can pick out the sounds
beyond my curtained prison.

Moaning...low constant moaning, or is it the hum of a machine?
Clink...foootsteps...beep beep beep...moaning.
SNAP BACK...

The white curtains ripple again to reveal a blonde wo man, not very old, staring
at a clipboard. She looks up and introduces herself, I miss her name but the
word PSYCHIATRISTglows in my head like a beacon.

?Shit, I?m gonna lose my son.?
SNAP BACK...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

?Were you trying to kill yourself??
Yes, no, yes, no, I don?t know! You?re supposed to be the fucking expert.
I now have hot eyes, my eyeballs feel like they?re burning and someone has

lodged a tennis ball in my throat.
?Dunno?
She does that horrible stare thing, waiting for me to reply, waiting for some

fantastical enormous wrong that was done to me,but...
?My son was bullied?
She doesn?t flinch...why would she...I?m a boarderline.
Boarderline Personality Disorder.
They?ll come...he?ll be crying...they?ll drag him away...
SNAP BACK...
My eyes are leaking,i?m not crying, my eyes are leaking.
?I just want to go home.?
I can?t...I should be dead, Paracetamol overdose and a bad one to boot. I

wonder whether the yellow stuff going into my arm will turn me yellow.
What is that anyway?
SNAP BACK...
The white curtains around my bed billow out like a hot air balloon and an

elderly lady lands with an unelegant wallop on her back in my cubicle. I turn,

surprised, lean down and ask the stupidest question,
?Are you alright??
She?s flat on her back reeling from her headhitting the floor with the same

sound as a cricket ball hitting a bat, and that?s my best effort...LAME
Then I cry.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Psych woman helps the lady back to bed, I stay silent whilst my brain screams,
Where are the fucking nurses?
I find out later that she just wanted the toilet, that she pressed her button but

nobody came...
NOBODY CAME.
SNAP BACK...
The man opposite is wearing a wierd hat...oh hang on it?s bandages...don?t

stare. Diagonal to me is a girl about my age...have the urge to ask,
?what you in for??
The fourth member of our cell is the elderly lady, she lies half awake, dead

behind the eyes...or is she hiding.
I NEED A FAG
I hassle the nurses and threaten to discharge myself unless they let me. Fresh
air feels so good...I even get a headrush from thefag.
SNAP BACK...

 


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