Depression (The Dark Curse)
Poem by: Miz O'gynist
Depression (The Dark Curse)
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It began firstly in my latter day childhood
When clouds would form to create a mood
My mother would laugh and say "cheer up hun"
But in my grey times there would be no such fun
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It felt like the rain was following me around
And in my mind the voices were so profound
From deep despair to hate I got through life
Until later I confessed about my awful strife
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Then it is was
with the both of us to share
A problem halved but do we really care
Escaping the clutches of this evil disease
Will prove elusive and never will it cease
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A prisoner at home locked in all day
To mind and Imbalance I must not stray
Fragility has created a monster in me
Reality and acceptability are not meant to be
© Copyright 2018 Miz O'gynist. All rights reserved.
Comments
Close to my heart this one. Great job Hun loved it
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Thanks for your positive feedback on what is a very dark theme.Sometimes it helps to share an issue other times it's best to keep that demon which plagues us locked away in a very secure closet.
I think we live in a world or the time of Depression. I believe that everyone has a form of depression to some degree. Some mild and some strong. But the world has become a dark place, materialistic, unloving, full of strife and despair. the only way out of it is to have good friends who would listen to you. No not family members. It is always difficult to confess your depression to family members because they already have their own judgements and perceptions about you. Where as friends (close loving friends) don't have this burden so you are free to tell them anything with no consequence. just an ear and a heart to listen and love.
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Thanks for that interesting perspective on Depression,I tend to agree with you with regard to discussion on these type of topics with close family.Do you know my parents wouldn't even let me go and see my local doctor? let alone offer me a sympathetic voice.Yes if the truth be known their neglect of My illness only prolonged the agony for me instead of nipping it in the bud.Yes we all live in a world of insensitivity,materialism,selfishness and greed.Almost everyone I know is an atheist or non god fearing person.
my teenage years were non existent..my parents took their young family to live with a widowed grandmother in an industrial area of my city where it was not possible to make friends...i was 13 we had no phone or car and impossible cramped living conditions as it was only a villa suitable for my grandparents...six people driving each other to distraction....yes there is a tragedy in almost every life.....i still bear these dreadful emotional scars...
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I feel for you Rich and appreciate you opening up with your own unique account of your childhood experiences.My father worked in the city of London when I was growing up in my youth and cared very little about the impact of being an absent father had on his young family.He was just ambitious and we moved home every 2 years within the same location.He had the means to do this,moving to increase a quick profit on the sale of houses and uprooting me and my siblings in the process having to get used to attending new schools in new neighbourhoods took it's toll on us.
Eileen...First, I love that you challenge everybody here to look at stuff outside the 'typical' subject matter of Silk. The comments you get from people are awesome because you touch a nerve with them. You dig into tough subjects, and you dig into yourself, and you expose yourself too! I mean that in a good way...a trusting way...the kind of way (as Sam says) that you open up to friends. The other side of this site (Booksie) is certainly an option for publishing this, but I'm like you...I like all my stuff together in one place, and I like this side of the fence better. Your poem...wow...it's a personal unfolding, an emotional unveiling, looking up out of a dark hole where we can reach for you. I love the 'sight' rhyme in the first stanza. I'm walking along with you as you speak...stanza one, then two, then three...then Boom! Stanza four "the both of us to share - A problem halved" and I realize you are speaking to someone who has already walked with you. You're addressing someone specifically. At least that's how it seems. "Fragility has created a monster"...wow, that's different! Almost counter-intuitive. I like that. Really strong poem...Really well written...hits me like metal rain.
~ meg
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Thanks for your honest and forthright review of this rather disturbing topical poem.I appreciate you empathising with me here.Yes it's a predicament of mine whether to publish these type of socially generated poems.I have heaps of them in my locker but I tend to agree with you that "Silk" isn't really the right place to publish them on.However I like to mix my writing ad you maybe aware.There is something for everyone on my page,diversification is the name of the game right?.I would definitely read more of your future short stories or novels because you are a tremendously gifted writer.I think I'm just trying to convey the message that I gave more than one string to my bow and have many irons in the fire,fingers in pies etc.I will try to limit the volume of social poetry to what I perceive is warranted on this site in future.I appreciate your candid response and advice love and respect to you as always Eileen XXX
My honest opinion, beautiful Eileen, is don't change anything that you're doing.
~ Meg
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Thank you sweetheart that's just what I needed to hear.wishing you and your loved ones a happy Christmas and a peaceful but inspired 2016.
I've dealt with it since 7th grade. It was just minor back then. It grew as I got in high school. Was made fun of. Laughed at for being "different" than everyone else. Being bullied for writing. Being treated like I was the plague. Was cheated on my senior year. Was lied to by a person I thought I was in love with once. (Differemt one than the one who cheated). Being threatened by a person I thought was my friend because I was friends with her boyfriend.
But what really hit home with the depression was the betrayal. The loss in trust with everyone around, including those who were once closest to me.
I've lost friends, I've gained enemies. I've come close to suicide only to bounce back and stop myself from doing it in the past. My fiance has brought me out of being suicidal by showing the light in life.
Having to put up with Walmart and its crap.
But all of that doesn't even come close to something else I've experienced before. Something that tore me to shreds and brought me to a point to where I now question everyone around me. Something that I can never expose publicly. Not that I don't trust you or anything. It is just something that shouldn't be spread all around publicly.
I am just now starting to recover from it and trying to trust again. I won't ever fully be able to trust again because of it but I am trying.
But that is juat life. I've hit rock bottom so the only way to go is up from now on.
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Thanks for sharing your truly awful experience of depression and how it has afflicted you.I respect your right to keep certain things private.This isn't really the place to discuss those sensitive areas which might open up old wounds.I guess it's just a case of managing the illness on a day to day basis and receiving the love and support of our family and those who care about what we are going through.
Wow this really touched my heart. This is exactly how I feel. A prisoner in her own misery. Depression does make you abandon everything and everyone. It makes you isolated and alone. I can really feel the emotion in this poem and I'm glad I'm not the only one going through this very dangerous illness. Thank you for writing this piece.
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Hey Ilmo I appreciate you taking the time offer me and the other writers and readers on BS your own personal experiences of depression.I call it my dark black wild stallion which rages and tears at my inner soul.I try to keep it locked away in the closet but sometimes there's no containing it.
This is really excellent writing and so many can relate. I do not have a story but you don't always need a horrific past to feel depression, depression is a monster that way and does not always need cause it just creeps in wherever it finds the smallest crack and festers. It is healing to express and this is defiantly good for all to read.
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Thanks for taking the time to comment even if you haven't experienced this awful trauma.I appreciate your feedback BL.Yes depression exposes the chinks in our sensitivity when we are most vulnerable.The problem is that in most cases it can't be beaten.Medication and the support of family and friends does help but it can only be contained at best when you suffer the severest of symptoms like I do.It's been with me over 30 years now and I haven't managed to find a way of defeating it.
Oh but I have Eileen but I just don't have a story to share. I am sorry you suffer from this monster I am lucky mine has been mild but oh I do know it. You may never defeat it as long as you don't let it defeat you. I wish you better good days this year. BL
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Thanks for your comment BL it means a lot to me that you feel that you can offer me hope and more importantly an insight in how to contain and possibly defeat the beast that dwells within my mind,body and soul.Blessings to you dear ????
I dont know why,but after reading these "clean" poetry ,I feel like this is what fits me better.I took up erotic writing after a heartbreak and a severe addiction to online porn which tore me apart.
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Thanks for your honest review and introspective opinions.I agree with you that perhaps the porn poetry is a bit samey and writers need to expand and broaden their appeal.It's very predictable what you're going to find on BS.The only reason I read alot of this rubbish by other writers is to massage their huge egos and repay them for reading my stuff.On the whole I don't find that I enjoy it.Depression is a serious subject and I'm sure many of the writers who use Porn or sex as their genre use it as a means of escape from their tormented issues which plague their minds.None of regular followers aside from Ilmo ever bother to read my main writing which is a bit disappointing because I know they would enjoy most of it.There are aspects of romance,sex and erotica in some of the stories but not to the point where they are dominated by that genre.
I am just now recovering from Anxiety Disorder. I no longer have the demon of fear, but the shadow of it still follows me around and makes appearances from time to time. I hope that this isn't afflicting you...Great poem...
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Thank you Aurora I'm sorry to read that you have had that dreadful affliction.
Yes I suffer from.dark moods and severe bouts of depression which is why I chose to share my experience in this confessional poem.
Laura Lewis