I’ll trace the constellations on your skin.
I want to feel in love again.
Hold me close just for a moment.
I want to feel your soul-songs movement.
Breathe life breath into my hair.
Promise I won’t have to share.
Lazy lulls to sing me to sleep.
Promise your smile I can keep.
I’ll wear the marks you clothe me in.
We’ll sink; revel in our sin.
Press me deep into your bed.
We’ll sink; drink until we’re fed.
© Copyright 2021 MissRisk8118. All rights reserved.
Okay, this is fucking FANTASTIC! One of the best poems I've read on this site. Really EXCELLENT, girl! Why aren't you writing more poetry???? What happened???? You have amazing talent.
The striking thing about this piece is the structural simplicity which starkly contrasts with the complexity of ideas. I like the stanzas, I like the external rhyme, and I love the internal rhyme in the last line. You use alliteration and consonance very well....lots of poetic elements here.
I'm in love with this concept of 'sinking' - you've underscored it as thematic allusion by virtue of your title, drawing attention to its double meaning. So many fantastic lines - "soul-songs movement", "wear the marks you clothe me in", "drink until we're fed". This is real poetry. Beautiful. Illusive. Insinuating.
Wow you've really made my morning! I do write it I just haven't posted for a while as I've been really focusing on my novel (Shameless plug, Making of Wren, go read it).
I sincerely appreciate you taking the time to read it and share your kind encouraging words. I'll let you know if/ when I write more!
Damp Kitten