Can Never Go Back

Can Never Go Back Can Never Go Back

Status: In Progress

Genre: Romance


Status: In Progress

Genre: Romance


Submitted: March 02, 2016

A A A | A A A


Submitted: March 02, 2016



He made his way through the forest, his footsteps were silent over the lightly snow covered ground. He moved so silently that a brown rabbit that was forging for food, didn't even look up as he passed. It had been years since the last time he had walked down this path and it would probably be the last time for him as well. Even though he wasn't sure why he felt that way, only that he did. For there were to many memories which lingered all around him, memories that were to painful for him to endure. How he wanted to forget those memories, which he knew he never could. But Jake hadn't gotten over the pain which they always brought to his soul.

Even though it had been years since he had been there, it seemed that he found the path so easily. In fact, he could remember every detail about these woods, even where this path lead to. As if the time away had not existed within his mind. With each step he took, there was one memory which stayed trapped within his that he hadn't been, didn't want to let go of. That was of his beloved Anna, who had passed away five years ago. Jake remembered how he would take her into these woods, for long nature walks, as she would call it. But they had done so much more than just those walks. Having picnics at the shore of the lake, which the path ends at, even a couple times they had been courageous enough to make love in the woods. Now, those were nothing more than memories, which he could never relive.

A cold breeze slapped his pale face and ruffled a few strands of his short brown hair, as his eyes stayed focused in front of him. For some reason, he felt there was something in the woods that was watching him, waiting for him as well. Yet, he had no idea what it could be. That was if there was anything out there at all. For all he knew, it could have been nothing more than his over active imagination. He really didn't want to think about it, for it would only haunt him.

“What the hell is happening to me? Why did I come here in the first place?” he muttered under his breath.

Questions which Jake really couldn't find the answers to. Even though deep in his soul, he knew he couldn't reach it right now. Because of the years of keeping so much locked away, since Anna had passed away. Still, there was a reason for him being there. Something which he was searching for.

The woods seemed different in a way, the shadows of the night made it seem so ominous. While the cold air held a scent of death, which floated on the crest of the breeze. Or maybe it was just his mind playing tricks on him. His hands stayed shoved in the pockets of his navy blue Naval jacket, as his body shivered in terror. It was then he could hear the faint sound of a voice calling out to him. At first Jake couldn't make out what it said. But the more he walked, the louder the voice became. Not only could he tell that it was a woman's voice, but knew whose voice it was. He stopped for a moment in shock....not believing that it could be who he thought it was.

“Anna?” he said and then hesitated for a moment. “Can it be you? No, it can' died.”

“You can never go back......Jake, why did you come here? Why did you do it?” her voice softly echoed around him.

“Did what? I don't know what you mean.” he called out, as he looked around him frantically.

The only answer which he got, was her repeating the same thing, over and over again. You can never go back! What she meant by that, was the one thing which Jake couldn't understand. Because of it, he knew he had to find the truth of what she meant. He started to walk faster, wanting to find her..... or whatever it was that used her voice. It was then he remembered a special place they awent to....some place within the forest, they called their own. That was where he would find her....where she would be waiting for him. He hoped that he would be right, for all that he thought about was her. To the point where he couldn't take it at all. Could it be her soul was trapped on this earth? That something was keeping her from crossing over. All that plagued his mind, making him worry about he always did.

His pace quickened, feeling the branches of the plants brush against his his heart pounded so hard, he thought it would explode through his chest. His breath rapid, as his hands clutched tightly into fists. While he moved he could feel the shadows of the forest, closing in on him. As if they had taken a life of their own and was after him. Jake didn't let it bother him, for there was something more important he needed to find.

After a couple minutes, he arrived at the small clearing where a large weeping willow tree grew. The moment he had seen the tree, he knew this was their special place. For that tree was something which she had loved to come to and shared it with him. As he walked into the clearing, the air had suddenly turned warmed.....yet the scent of death still lingered within the air. This time though it seem to grow stronger now, pressing against his skin. He looked around him, hoping....expecting to see Anna there. But all he could see was the empty clearing with the willow tree. How he felt like such a fool, to think he could find her again. That it was nothing more than his own imagination, creating such a delusion. In his soul, he could feel the pain and rage building within him, to the point where he couldn't take it any longer. His stomach suddenly throbbing in pain, as if razors where within it, cutting him up from the inside.

“Anna!!!!! Where are you?”he screamed.

But the only answer which he could here was the wind blowing around him. He started to think. that he was wrong by thinking that something could be waiting for him. A tear ran down his cheek, as the pain and frustration consumed him. The sensation which he had dealt with when she died and now again. Jake fell down to his knees, sorrow enveloped him as he had no idea what he was suppose to do now. His hands covered his face, as the sorrow enveloped him like a cloud. Crying and letting the sorrow flow through him.....something which he hadn't done for years. Keeping it locked deep within him, never to show it to anyone. Remembering how his father had said, Real men don't cry. Now he realized that it was something that wasn't true. Especially, when it came to losing someone you loved with all your heart and soul. The only thing which he had wished was the he could see her one last time. To tell her that he loves her and say good-bye to her one last time.

It was then, he heard the sound of her voice again, this time so soft and close to him. To Jake it sounded like the voice of an angel....which warmed his heart so much.

“Let go of your sorrow, my darling. I'm here with you now.....I have always been with you.” her voices whispered in his ear.

Jake's hands slowly moved away from his face and turned to the long dangling branches of the willow tree. It was then, he had seen her emerge from them. Her long dark amber hair, smooth skin and the white gown which hugged and complimented her sultry frame. For a brief moment, he just sat there, unable to believe that this was real. Tears started to run down his cheeks again, as he slowly got to his feet.

“Anna, is that really you? Or am I just having some dream?” he said softly.

“No, this isn't a dream. I'm really with you. You have brought me to you....your sorrow of my passing. But, I'm also here because you're in danger. Because of what you have done, you are here. I promised that I would always be with you and I still am.” she said.

“But you is this possible?” he asked.

“You can never go back....especially now. What you did to come here, you can never go back.” she said as she moved closer to him.

Jake wanted to know what she meant by what she was telling him. The only thing which he could think about was how he held onto the thought of her. Letting it destroy him inside, as he isolated himself from the world. In his mind. He couldn't think of what it was she was trying to tell him. His hand reached up, shaking in fear, and then gently touched the side of her face. When the palm of his hand touched her, she could see her lips smile as her dark blue eyes stared at him. How he remembered so many times he had got lost within her eyes.....before their lips would meet in a passionate kiss. Her skin still felt warm, which was something which shocked him. Thinking her touch would have been cold and lifeless. For a brief moment, Jake found himself unable to find the words to say to her. Even though there was so much he wanted to say. But, not a word was uttered from his lips. Still, he knew.... felt there was something which he needed to say to her.

“Why did you have to leave me? When you died, it destroyed me. You were everything to me.” he finally said.

“You were....and still are my world. I never stopped loving you. That's why I'm here.” she said.

“Is this really you, or is this just a dream that I'm going to wake up alone in bed.” he said.

“This is real....I'm really here with you...because I wanted to be with you again. And because you need to be with me as well.” she said as she moved closer to him.

Her lips moved closer to his, hovering centimeters over each other. He could feel her breath caressing the skin of his face. Obsessed by the temptation of a kiss, as his arms held her so close to him. Jake couldn't believe this was happening, even though it was what he longed for. How he hoped this was more than just a dream. And if it was a dream, then he hoped to never wake from it. When she pulled away from him, her eyes focused on him with such tenderness as well as seriousness.

“Jake, you have to let go. I forgive you of what you did and now you have to forgive yourself.” she said softly.

“Forgive myself of what?” he asked confused.

“'re dead. You killed yourself. And I'm here to take you to the other side. You can never come back.” she said.

“You came back for me?” he asked.

“No, I waited for you. Waited in the one place I knew you would come to. And now, you're here.” she said smiling.

When she said that, he remembered being in a cheap, rented motel room. Drunk out of his mind and overdosing on a combination of pain killers and sleeping pills, because of losing Anna, it had taken its toll. Seeing himself laying there on that bed, the winter wind blowing outside. As a single tear ran down his cheek as he took his last breath.

“Come with me Jake, now we can be together forever.” she whispered as she his hand.

“Yes....Yes, lead me. I know I can't go back. But at least, I'm with you again.”he said as he looked into her eyes.

Together they made their way into the shadows, to the unknown. Where they would end up, didn't matter, for they knew they would be together for all eternity.




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