ODE TO STEPHANIE **True Story**

ODE TO STEPHANIE **True Story**

Status: Finished

Genre: True Confessions

Details

Status: Finished

Genre: True Confessions

Summary

This is a true story & account of a married man finding another love, the beginning, middle & end. Exciting, sad, emotional & controversial are just some of the comments given to me after people have read it.

Summary

This is a true story & account of a married man finding another love, the beginning, middle & end. Exciting, sad, emotional & controversial are just some of the comments given to me after people have read it.

Content

Submitted: June 05, 2013

A A A | A A A

Content

Submitted: June 05, 2013

A A A

A A A


ODE TO STEPHANIE

 

Me?

Love?

Yeah, I’m a bloke & we’re perceived to know everything aren’t we?

I certainly thought I knew everything including what love was or is & a bit more...

I thought I knew what love was, what it was & Is to be in love, to be loved, I thought I was loved but one day, my whole life came crashing down, it all changed, I discovered that not only was I NOT in love, I’d never actually been loved or been in love anyway...

See, it all started on a sunny afternoon one day when I was sitting in my living room.

Already married for 14 years with the same woman, I’d been with her for my entire adult life & knew no different.

We’d raised three girls, 2 to teenage years & I thought right, that was it for me you know?

I thought ok, this is how my life was going to end, the famous saying of living happily ever after but, how wrong I was.

Was I a cheater? Yes & no really.

Yeah ok, I’d only ever had a fling with the same woman but I knew that woman before I’d met my Mrs. so, did that count as cheating?

It weren’t like she was my mistress or nothing & I never wanted anything more...Looking back, I never really even wanted her or her sex but, I’m a bloke & for some time in our lives, if us blokes are honest, part of that time, our heads are ruled by our cocks anyway.

With respect to myself though, I was never with my Mrs. 24 hours a day so, I may sit here as a cheater & feel bad about BUT, how do I or would I ever know if she had cheated on me in those 19 years huh?

After all, she could never cut the apron strings from her mother & never did do; her mother would say ‘Jump’ & she would say ‘How High’

I was second best & always was, I realise that now but wished I’d known at the time then I would never have wasted 19 years of my precious life on her...

As they say, hindsight...

What a wonderful thing?

Anyway,

Once in a blue moon I’d go round there & we’d end up in bed but, she was the only other woman I’d ever been with in 19 years.

She was married with children too & we both knew it could never go any further & it was & would only ever be just safe sex.

I also knew deep down that the other woman never really wanted me anyway & I was just being used again, just a bloke to get her wet every now & again after her husband had beaten her & she needed some loving but, that was ok, I was down with that.

Her husband used to beat her so she always had something for me because I gave her time & affection.

I never did it on purpose or led her on, that was just me!

Why do woman do that?

Why do women show interest in another man when their own man beats them, only to fuck that guy over too?

Beats me...

Anyway....

Though I’d had those flings with the same woman, I was always loyal to my Mrs. & always came home to her, her bed & her children & would never have done anything to harm them, I loved my Mrs. & kids with all my heart or, at least I thought I did.

THE ENCOUNTER

It was really sunny that famous afternoon & though now it was some 9 years ago, it still remember It like It was yesterday.

I was gazing out the window & the sun was shining brightly which was making me squint, all of a sudden, my squint was broken as was the sun by a figure walking past the window.

I remember tilting the cup of tea I had in my hand & spilling it down my leg.

I quickly put the cup down & dashed over to the window but, the figure was gone.

I’m not sure who I saw but, I felt my stomach flip, you know the feeling you get when you go over a flyover in a car?

A wave of emotion rushed through my body that I’d never felt before & it frightened me.

I was just sorting myself out & out the corner of my eye, I saw that person again returning from the opposite direction & I very quickly dashed to my living room window & looked out & what I saw took my breath away...

 

Walking past my window was a girl, just a girl, a very curly dark haired girl who looked about 16, she was the most beautiful creature I’d ever seen & I was transfixed, my heart stopped beating & I stopped breathing, I just stood & stared open mouthed & speechless.,

My head ached & my mouth was dry, I felt sick, really sick & I knew then, I had a serious problem.

Who was she?

I’d never seen her before.

Yeah I’d seen the woman who lived at the house she walked into. I’d seen the boy too & some other girl that looked a lot like her BUT, this one, she was different, there was just something about her that I couldn’t put my finger on.

LOVESICK

For the rest of the day, I spent most of the time walking in & out of my living room wearing the carpet down waiting to see her again but, she never came out again & that made me so sad.

I asked myself, why are you sad Mark? Why do you feel like this?

I had no answers for myself but was waiting as I knew the only person I could trust was me, as I knew I wouldn’t lie & I’d tell myself the truth.

My feelings were frightening me, hurting me; I wanted so much to see this girl again, why was I thinking like that?

I had no idea but what I did know was that something was stirring in me, something was awake in me now, a burning sensation that wouldn’t go away, an ache I’d never felt before.

I’d felt pain, broken knuckles, busted bones doing Kung Fu, being jailed, abandoned by my biological father as a baby, beaten as a kid by an abusive violent step father who abandoned me too, yeah, when he left me, he even took the TV, he wanted the TV more than he wanted me...

Yeah, I knew what pain was & I thought I was scared of nothing but, for the first time in my life, I’ll admit It, I was scared...scared of the feelings flooding through my entire body now.

I’d have given anything just to see that girl one more time that day, I needed that.

Oh god, how much I just wanted to open my front door walk down my path & go to the house, knock on the door & say hi...

Who was I kidding?

I couldn’t have her & why the hell would she want some washed up used & abused bloke from another life anyway?

My sensible side was shouting at me, Mark, you’re married, get a grip, who the fuck do you think you are?

I shouted back at my voice that I couldn’t control myself or the way I felt, I felt ill...I felt like a plant that hadn’t been watered & was wilting, I knew that girl was my water & if I didn’t see that girl again, I’d wither & die.

 

I remember that night going to bed & the Mrs wanted my sex, yet I wanted none of her.

I didn’t want to know nothing, not my wife, not my kids, nothing; all I wanted was that girl & pretended I was a sleep.

I heard her turn over & a short time later, I heard her snoring which relieved me because I knew I didn’t have to put on a brave face anymore or, force myself to get wood.

I knew I wouldn’t be able to perform anyway, because all I could think about was that girl.

A sigh of relief came out of me at the Mrs. being asleep & got out of bed.

I walked to my bedroom window & pulled back the curtain.

I had a perfect view of the house the girl went into but, it was all in darkness.

What if someone caught me?

It was nearly 3 o’clock in the morning & there I was, standing there butt naked in my bedroom, dick hanging staring out at another persons’ window like some peeping Tom, I felt like a pervert yet somehow, I just couldn’t stop myself.

What was happening to me?

I stood for what seemed like eternity but I never saw her & I remember walking over to my bed & slumped down on the edge of it feeling absolutely empty & lonely.

A sudden wave of sadness came over me, the same sadness I’d felt earlier that day but this one, oh God this one was more intense & I jumped as a cold tear ran down my face & hit my naked right leg.

Oh God what was happening to me I thought again?

I’ve never felt anything like this before I said to myself.

What the hell’s going on with me?

Am I dying? Is this how it starts?

I lay down & forced myself to go asleep wondering how the hell I was going to deal with the next day let alone my feelings or indeed myself.

THE BEGINNING OF THE END

The next morning I woke up to sunshine through the curtains, jumped out of bed & rushed downstairs dick slapping my legs on the way, jumped the last half a dozen steps & rushed into the living room.

It was Christmas again for me & I felt like a little kid going for my presents Father Christmas had left for me but, I wasn’t.

I was actually rushing for the living room window, rushing to see that girl but, I never saw her, I was so sad I could have cried & that really pissed me off.

I remember being moody & when Mrs. got up I must not have been able to hide my feelings because I remember her asking me what the matter with me was & I snapped back at her ‘Nothing’

I ponced myself up, you know?

The works, clothes, hair, face, drowned myself in aftershave, it was probably the most time I’d taken with myself for years.

Yeah I was a Husband & a Father but, no one took any notice of me really.

I never went anywhere or did anything so; there was never anyone to dress up for or impress.

The Mrs. never gave me compliments or ever told me I was special, horny, hot or nothing so, I never bothered to make myself any better, I was just Mark, Dad, you know?

That ordinary guy that beautiful girls never even give a second look to?

I remember having to go to the shops later that day & to my astonishment, the girl I’d seen came out & needed to go get some bread for her mother & I fell over myself to offer her a lift & she accepted.

I’ll tell you, No one will ever know what that felt like, here was my water getting into my car.

I wanted so much just to stop & stare, to look, to admire this fresh beauty before me.

This girl was absolutely breathtaking to look at & she had me at hello.

I didn’t want to bed her or nothing, I just felt this instant connection, attraction if I was man enough to admit it however, when she said she was 14, I nearly died & very quickly put any other thought out of my mind.

On one hand, She was the famous ‘’Forbidden Fruit’’ but on the other hand, I heard myself ringing in my own ears...

’’The Forbidden Fruit Always Tastes The Sweetest Mark’’

That was forbidden to even think like that & to be honest; sex never actually crossed my mind at that time anyway.

This girl needs something else other than that & I’d die to find what it was & be the one to give it to her.

I wished the trip would have lasted forever but, it was over very quickly.

God I wanted so much to kiss her lips, her thick full lips...

Oh what was I saying to myself & I thought get a grip Mark.

I did get one thing though...her name...

Her name was ‘’Stephanie’’

 

Stephanie, Stephanie, Stephanie, I walked around all day & kept saying the name to myself over & over again...

You know what I mean?

Like some fresh new tune you hear on the radio & can’t stop singing it for hours afterwards?

As time at home progressed, I discovered the woman was her mother, the boy her younger brother & the other girl was her elder sister however, I was interested in no one else except for Stephanie.

If I had the chance, I would have eaten, slept & drunk her as she had a hold of me now!

It turned out her father had done terrible things to the girls that I won’t go into & I very quickly put myself forward to take her into my family as all of a sudden, I had this overwhelming feeling that I wanted to protect this girl.

See I was & had been successful in what I’d achieved.

I was a long term married man with children who I thought loved & respected me.

Trained in Wing Chun Kung Fu, I could take care of my family as well as myself.

Trained in Security, a school parent governor, I’d worked for the Police as an ICV, I’d done various training in looked after children, child protection.Yeah, I thought to myself, I’m the man for the job, I can do this, piece of piss!

I discussed it with my family first & they agreed so, Stephanie ended up living with us.

It was July 2003 just before Stephanie’s 15th birthday in August.

We had a camping holiday booked already & took Stephanie away with us & as time went on, I began to have feelings for Stephanie that I couldn’t shrug off & they were more than just feelings.

I had to treat & accept her as being her surrogate father but, I didn’t want to be that, I never did want to be that & never put myself forward for it.

I thought more of myself as her ‘Body Guard’

She was my Whitney & I was her Kevin.

The holiday came & went & when we all returned, things went downhill very quickly from there on.

I’d noticed that the girls & the Mrs. were making comments when Stephanie wasn’t around, comments I should have taken no notice of but, they were hurting me.

VIRUS

As time went by, my feelings for Stephanie grew very quickly & more intense.

We talked & laughed all the time & every single moment I spent with her I cherished like it was my last.

I began to want to spend more & more time with Stephanie & began to make any excuse up just to talk to her & be with her.

We had so much in common; a lot more that I’d ever had with my lot or the Mrs that’s for sure.

I now knew & understood myself & my feelings & that the first time I’d seen Stephanie, a seed had been planted within me that was now growing out of control & no matter what I did, I just couldn’t stop its growth.

It was like Ivy & both grew & crept over me till it stifled me, yet somehow I liked it...yeah, I liked it, I liked it a lot & I wanted more & more every day, in fact, I couldn’t do without it.

I wanted Stephanie so much, she was like a Virus, she was killing me slowly yet I wanted it to happen.

Up to September 2003, Stephanie & the family began to argue frequently & it became worse & worse every time, then one night, my whole world would be shattered.

My Mrs. & the kids pulled me into the bedroom & said Mark, get rid of her!

I couldn’t believe my ears...get rid of her? My Stephanie? You got to be fucking kidding?

I can’t get rid of her I answered back,

They shouted at me, what? You can’t get rid of her? But she’s nothing to us Mark, she’s a stranger now get rid of her or we’ll do it for you!

After they seriously kicked the shit out of me both verbally & emotionally they left me in the room alone...

I couldn’t believe my ears, me get rid of Stephanie? But I couldn’t, she was my whole world now, she was everything to me now & the thought of Stephanie not being in my life anymore was more than I could bare & I just broke down in a flood of uncontrollable emotional sobbing.

I never felt so hurt or damaged in my whole life like I felt then & I thought my whole world had come to an end.

It was then I discovered & admitted to myself the devastating fact that would be the turning point in my life.

Yes, even at just now 15, I knew that I had fallen in love with Stephanie.

Yeah, I mean really fallen in love & there was nothing I could do about it!

I lasted things out & Christmas came & went but it was uncomfortable & awkward.

My family grew apart & away from Stephanie whilst I grew closer to her.

Deep down, I think they really knew that I had feelings for Stephanie as I certainly couldn’t hide it & I couldn’t control my sobbing that night which planted the seed of doubt in their minds that there was something more wrong with me than met the eye.

 

Stephanie heard nothing from her own family over the Christmas & the New Year which devastated her because I think Stephanie finally realised that she was truly on her own.

Stephanie needed me more than ever now & I sure as hell wasn’t going to let her down or throw her out on the streets with nowhere to go or abandon her like her own family had done.

I’d had that done to me as a kid & I knew how that felt to truly be alone.

I spent a lot of time consoling Stephanie through her bad times which just drew us that much closer together.

In fact, what both my lot & I myself never realised was that the more they hated Stephanie & wanted me to get rid of her, the more they pushed me toward her & the feelings & love I had for her just grew & grew & grew until there was so much love inside me for Stephanie, there was no more room or, any more love for anyone else.

I’d had so much love inside already going to waste that when Stephanie came along & wanted it, I gave it ALL to her, after all, no one else wanted it did they?

I said to both Stephanie & myself that if my family didn’t want her, then they didn’t want me either.

Stephanie & I were now a package, I wouldn’t throw Stephanie away like some used crisp bag just because my family wanted me to, this was a human being for fuck sake & I’m not like that & after all, who the fuck did they think they were anyway?

They made a big mistake in believing I was like them & could be so callous & cruel.

Who made them Judge, Jury & executioner anyway?

In April 2004, things came to an abrupt end & the Mrs wanted her out full stop.

The house was in her name so both Stephanie & I didn’t have a leg to stand on.

It was too intense for all of us however; none of them understood that I was now truly, madly & deeply in love with Stephanie, more than I’d ever been with anyone else ever before in my life including this woman who I called my wife.

I know people said it couldn’t be real, they were just feelings but, they weren’t, they were fucking real to me, I knew they were real as I’d never felt them before, certainly not for any other woman or girl before & I very quickly realised...

I would give up & do anything & everything for Stephanie as I’d given myself to her now.

THE BREAKUP

In April 2004, Stephanie packed up her stuff, so did I & we left together leaving my entire family behind.

What the fuck was I doing I asked myself many times?

Though somehow, deep down inside of me, I knew it was right, it was appropriate; it was the right thing to do.

After putting myself second for nearly 19 years, I decided to be selfish & it’s what I wanted for a change, after all, they hadn’t given a shit about me before so, I knew they wouldn’t miss me now.

I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life asking myself, what if, what if...

I had to see, I had to know & though walking away from my family & a 19 year relationship was the most painful thing I’ve ever had to do, I now know it was more painful for me than it was for them.

I somehow knew it would turn out good in the end & sure enough it did & has...

The Mrs groomed & poisoned those children against me & to them, turned me from the best loved father in the world (or at least I thought I was) into Freddy Kruger.

I saw those three children in July 2004 & I’ve never seen them again.

I quickly divorced from the Mrs. afterwards.

Well, I now know that that woman & those children never really loved me at all?

They never really wanted me did they?

I was nothing to them.

I was a walking ghost to them...a fucking sperm donor, an expendable asset!

Though I have asked myself many times, well...

What could they have done for me anyway?

They certainly couldn’t have changed my mind & there was certainly no going back.

I was smitten & deeply in love with Stephanie & I most certainly couldn’t do anything about that myself so, what made them think they could do anything about it for me?

That weren’t that powerful, that good, that worth it or, that important for that matter!

I’d already decided I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Stephanie & would say to any & all...no one had the power to alter or change that.

What everyone else & they failed to understand is my feelings & my point of view...

They never loved me, they never knew what love was, they never understood or would ever be able to understand love, after all, how could you possibly understand love when you have a black heart?

If I met them today, I’d educate them by saying:

Love has a ferocious appetite, it eats everything but, when you love someone & that person loves you right back, then you can do any fucking thing you want & if anyone gets in the way...watch out!

HAPPY ENDING

My happy ending is that I began a life with Stephanie moving to our own place in October 2004 though I asked myself many times...

Where would we go in life?

How would we get on?

How would we cope?

Is this love?

Is this real?

Both Stephanie & I didn’t have a clue what we were doing but, we had the balls to give it a go & stuck by each other through thick & thin, we went for it anyway, plunging into the abyss.

In December of 2004, we announced ourselves to the outside world as common law husband & wife though of course, we’d been having sex for ages before that, we just decided we’d ‘Come Out’ when we were ready.

We wanted to do it right & we did!

There’s a lot I’ve missed out as it simply not the point I want to make.

It's now 2012, 9 years later.

I made a promise to Stephanie in 2003 that I would stick by her, I would always be there for her & I’d never let her down...

I believe I kept my promise as when I said ‘I Love You Stephanie’ I meant it!!

I’m now married to Stephanie & have been for 4 years, we have 2 wonderful children, Tilly & Lars & life couldn’t be sweeter.

GHOST FAMILY

I haven’t ever seen 2 of the girls; one was on the Jeremy Kyle show one morning for DNA test.

Turned out my own ‘Ex’ daughter had opened her legs so many times & had unprotected sex, she had 2 guys on stage & one in the audience & now needed Jeremy’s DNA to find the baby’s Daddy!

God, how awful, how embarrassing, how degrading...BUT, how poetically justified?

The Ex Mrs.?

Well, I’ve seen her around, looking like shit, the shit she deserves to look like.

Am I mad? Am I bitter?

I was but now, no, I’m healed & much better & couldn’t give a toss about all of them.

I have no care & no feelings for any of them...

They killed the man they called husband & father so, how could I truly comment anyway?

I turned out the better & bigger man by walking away.

I’ve changed my life & myself for the better.

Shitters, I beat them all.

To the victor, the spoils huh?

ODE

They say it only happens to girls, it only happens in fairy tales, well, that’s not true.

It does happen in real life & fairy tales do come true, for guys as well, trust me on that one!

Stephanie is my heart, my life, my soul, my world & I’d be nothing without her.

She means the absolute world to me & though we have out sour moments like all married couples, looking back & now understanding myself as a man, I now know I made the right choice.

So this story is a dedication, an Ode to Stephanie.

My rescuer, my female knight in shining armour, my one true love, my soul mate, my best friend, my wife, my lover & my saviour...

I was, have been & will always be...truly yours Stephanie...

THANK YOU MY LOVE, YOU COMPLETED ME.

XXXXXX


© Copyright 2017 M T Franklin. All rights reserved.

Add Your Comments:

Other Content by M T Franklin