Are We There Yet?

Are We There Yet?

How many times have those words been uttered by impatient souls? Wether it be going to a store, visiting friends, anything. When you are suffering from various mental disabilities/diseases that is exactly how it feels. “Are we there yet”? our need to find a light at the end of this horrific, dark, seemingly endless tunnel.

Sadly there is no magic pill, the problem with depression and anxiety it no two people have it the same. My life these past ten years has been a rollercoaster not just for me, but for my family as well. How do you explain to those you love how you are feeling. IF you suffer from any of these debilitating disorders you know how hard it is since others simply can not understand what we are going through. Hell, I can not put into word what I am going through most times,

I realize no two people experience the same symptoms, reactions, triggers, etc. But one thing we ALL do share is the fact that we are suffering from something we ourselves don’t even understand. I mean, sure we all get sad from horrible stories on news or twitter, or feel bad over something that happened but after that... What I am talking about goes beyond this, the sufferer really  doesn't know what is bothering them most of the time. It is a feeling that invades the mind and soul, without warning and without reason.

My husband keeps after me saying things like “I do not understand if you can cook and do laundry here at home why can’t you go out and get a job”? I try so very hard to explain it to him in easy to understand analogies but even then he just seems clueless.Then turns around saying I am bringing the rest of the family down when I have low day. I do my best to keep a happy facade but I am not a miracle worker.

People can not grasp that we suffering from depression, anxiety, ptsd etc WANT to feel NORMAL as everyone says, as if we are choosing to feel this way. We do not want it I can assure you, it drains you of all energy, initiative, drive, joy, and even brings pains. Depression is not an excuse or a crutch, it is a real disease like diabetes and we do not have the ability to properly treat such a vast array of symptoms and causes.

People will tell you to turn to the Lord, or some similar religious grounded organization to find help and comfort, that is fine but it will not remove the thick dark energy that oozes through your soul, bringing you to levels so low you think no one would ever find you. It is a very serious condition that needs better understanding before we can get any real solid help.

So to those of you suffering, or know someone who is, you are not alone. Stand your ground, keep getting out of bed and know the sun will rise in the morning. We may not be there yet, but just keep refilling your tank until get there.