Some difference

Reads: 95  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 1  | Comments: 4

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Adult Romance  |  House: Booksiesilk Classic Group


He was all she ever wanted,

she was another one on his list,

he was her North and guide,

she was just a stop on his way,

he was her dear beloved,

she was some accepted supply,

he was her joy and desire,

she was just an object he owned.

And so, he stopped talking to her,

she never stopped asking why.

He just gave elegant excuses,

and all of a sudden she saw it all.

She said ok and  so long,

she left without another word.

She never talked to him again,

to this day he is surprised,

she was supposed to plea and beg.

she is out of his life forever,

never to be trodden upon again.

 


Submitted: March 10, 2021

© Copyright 2021 Lizziewolf. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:

Comments

benawriter

Bully for her!

Wed, March 10th, 2021 11:32pm

Author
Reply

??? Can you explain it? Lizzie.

Thu, March 11th, 2021 6:23am

Amy F. Turner

The contrast of this uneven relationship is so relatable. Sometimes it isn't until something is lost that the other person realized what they had, but by the time they do the other has moved on. Beautiful tragedy relayed in so few words.

Sat, March 13th, 2021 8:36am

Author
Reply

Thank you.It was a tragedy.
Love, Lizzie.

Sun, March 14th, 2021 9:04am

benawriter

I meant bully for her that she rid herself of him because ultimately it was for her own good and he didn't deserve her.

Sat, March 13th, 2021 2:19pm

Author
Reply

Thanks for the explanation.You are right.
Love, Lizzie.

Sun, March 14th, 2021 9:06am

DampKitten

You ever heard the song, "Lose Somebody" by Kygo and One Republic? Take a listen, in reference to your piece.

Amy's review is perfect. I like something subtle about this poem that's easily overlooked. It has to do with POV. You use third person omniscient to describe something that's clearly personal to the speaker. You could have chosen first person, but you didn't - and I think that's very significant. When you use 3rd person in any literary piece, it creates 'distance'. The fact that you defer 1st person for 3rd here is a quiet emphasis on the distance (and ultimate abandonment) of love in the latter part of the poem.

The other point is that most of us want to believe true love is something that has to be shared when in fact, as you point out so delicately, we can love someone who doesn't love us back.

Sun, March 14th, 2021 2:24pm

Author
Reply

Yes, that is true. Someone said once that "one loves and the other lets himself be loved".
Thanks for your review, dear Kitten.Love, Lizzie.

Sun, March 14th, 2021 9:09am

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