Just stay

Just stay Just stay

Status: Finished

Genre: Erotica

Details

Status: Finished

Genre: Erotica

Summary

Panic stricken and lost in grief from losing my husband , I run to our favourite place. He's dead, he's gone, but he's there waiting for me

Summary

Panic stricken and lost in grief from losing my husband , I run to our favourite place. He's dead, he's gone, but he's there waiting for me

Content

Submitted: November 29, 2015

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Content

Submitted: November 29, 2015

A A A

A A A


People think I'm crazy. I'm not even sure anymore. The lines of reality have blurred somewhat since it happened. Since the night he was taken. Every day slips by now with me just existing. Pointless. 

I tried to move on. Tried to salvage something from the wreckage of my life, but all I was doing was papering over the cracks. The fact is that my life ended when his did. My thoughts have been of the morbid sort since then and even after two years, I can't seem to snap out of it. 

We always talked of moving away. Travelling the world together before we start our family. He wanted to start with Australia and work our way back here. Back to the start of our new adventure, a conventional, ordinary life full of promise, but tragedy intervened. 

I don't know what possessed me to buy that ticket. I was just having coffee and after sitting at the nearest table, I happened to glance at the magazine left open. It was there. The starting point. All of the highlights of the land down under. It sparked that feeling of wonder inside me and within seconds i'd booked my flight. It's so unlike me, especially now. This is the part that makes them worry. My friends, our friends, those that knew us and still wonder why I can't let go. I think they're the crazy ones. 

I ignored the world. Shut down and carried on as I normally would. I do everything as we did it. I still cook for two, still make his favourite every Thursday, still dine in our favourite restaurant and still stay in the same hotel suite that we spend once a month in. It's ours and it's all I've got left. Giving that up would be crazy. 

I'm supposed to fly out tomorrow morning, but I've lost it. That drive to move forward. I know why and it isn't for the reason I thought. See I had convinced myself that I was doing this for us, to see our dream through. But a broken picture frame of our wedding poked a huge hole in my theory. I sobbed as I stared at the broken glass upon realising that it was my own frustrations that made me break the picture. It was no accident. I'm beyond drained by my grief and sick of the dark. It was clear then. I was going to travel the world, live our dream and all for closure. To say goodbye to him. 

Only now I can't. The guilt was unbearable and crushing me. I ran from our apartment and wasn't at all surprised to find myself in our suite. Bernie the manager was more than happy to see me and hand me the keys. The pity was evident in his eyes as it always is and as usual, it was of no comfort at all. 

I stared at my handbag as it sat on the dresser. That golden ticket is inside and all I can feel is betrayal. An overwhelming sadness for even contemplating such an act for my own selfish ends. 

I could feel my chest starting to tighten again and I walked over to the bed to lie down. Doctors orders. Stress, anxiety and panic attacks are just a way of life now. 

I lay on the soft mattress clutching the sheets beneath me as I tried to control my breathing. Tears slipped down my cheeks and I let them fall, hoping my sadness would slip with them. Something happened. Something inexplicable to me and I wondered for a second if I was crazy. I waited with baited breath. There it is again. Someone caught my tear. I stayed frozen to the mattress and stared at the ceiling. I'm alone, but there's someone here with me. How can this be? For reasons unknown to me I wasn't frightened. I was relieved. The sensation grew as I felt a soft tickle from between my eyes, down to the tip of my nose. I gasped. I gasped before I choked up on tears. It's him. He did the same thing  on our first date, then again the first night we slept together and again on our wedding night. It was his mark of affection throughout our relationship. I've sadly been doing it to myself each night praying that it would ease the ache. 

"I feel you..." I said but it only came out as a whisper. The tickle moved to my bottom lip and I closed my eyes as I felt the soft brush. A kiss from my husband. The same brushes moved down my jaw line to my neck making my heart pound. There was a moment when I thought it would stop as I felt the small tingle on my collar bone. It was unmistakeable. I can't see him but I know what he's doing. I sighed as the same tingle carried on down to the start of my cleavage. It was his tongue, a mark of his passion and I watched as the buttons of my blouse opened to reveal my satin covered breasts. 

"Oh god..." I croaked as the soft feel of his hands gliding along my stomach and cupping each breast greedily made me ache with desire. My skin came up with goosebumps as the blood beneath pulsed through my veins in heated lust. A strap fell down my arm along with the sheer fabric of my blouse and revealed my hardened nipple. Watching it move was eerie, but as soon as I closed my eyes, I could see him there. My hopelessly affectionate hubby worshipping me. Sucking the nipple into his mouth and circling it with his tongue. Devouring the soft skin with both his hands and that beautiful mouth. A small pinch made me giggle. He loves biting, my cheeky man. 

I gripped the rails of the headboard tightly as I felt my skirt slowly rising. I need this, need to feel him again and I'll take him whatever way I can get him. The anticipation pumped through me making my hairs stand on end. The images in my head are so clear, so detailed as I lift my leg and he smiles at me. I was so moved, so ready to drink him in that I opened my eyes to reveal nothing but my sheer covered leg in the air. My muscles should be tensed. It looks like I'm doing this myself, but I'm relaxed. I'm resting against his shoulder. That stunning body that always floored me. 

I bit my lip as I watched the black stocking slip slowly down. Small sensations of brushing on every inch as it does. He loved my legs. My breathing hitched as I felt the nibbles working their way upwards and a moan left my lips as I felt his teeth sink into my inner thigh. A spine tingling move that was always guaranteed to light the fire within me. 

I closed my eyes again wanting to see him. My love. I lifted my pelvis to allow him to slip off my panties. The delicate material already soaked from our miraculous reunion. The excitement whirled through me as I opened my legs ready for him. My baby blues shot open as I felt it. The warm breath on my quivering crease. It was so lifelike, so human and I had to check. There was nothing. Just me and the soft sheets, but I stayed staring at myself. Needed to feel it and see it. I need this to be real. 

"Jesus!" I cried out in surprise as the pleasure hit me in a blissful surge. I begged him to do it again. Needed it so bad. Another sweep of his tongue had my head spinning as I gripped the rails tighter. My thighs naturally squeezed together as my swollen bud was being sucked in a full on attack. I kept my eyes closed and was astounded by both the overwhelming feel of his mouth wrapped around my clit and the fact that I couldn't shut my legs all the way. He is there. There isn't a doubt in my mind. Every flicker of his tongue was like magic as my juices poured out of me. I just hoped he could taste me. He loved my honey. 

"I love you baby..." I cried out as pleasure pulsed through me like a continuous wave. The feel of his tongue slipping inside me was paralysing. The part of me that had been untouched for so long was being devoured and I pushed against him. Bucked against the face that I knew wasn't there for my eyes to see. 

My heart almost broke when it stopped, but it was just moments before I felt the answer to all of my prayers. He filled me. Every inch of him pushed inside me and I welcomed it. I needed to feel whole again. 

The bed banged against the wall as he thrust himself inside me. My eyes squeezed shut, my fingernails digging into the Palms of my hand as I clung on to the rails. I moaned and gasped as my husband, my lost lover fucked me like he used to in this very bed. He always took me like it was the last time and deep down I know this is and I refuse to waste this gift from God. 

My pulse raced, my head full of nothing but him as my man took me all over again. I moved my hands letting them squeeze the sheets beneath me as he pummelled my sweet spot. My whole body moving to his rapid rhythm. Topping the perfection I was already experiencing, I found my high and euphoria followed. My walls closed around him. The perfect cuddle as we connected through our big finish. I can't feel him cum, can't feel the sticky seed dribbling out of me as he pulls out. It doesn't affect me though. I'm too enamoured by him. 

The weight around me shifted suddenly and I felt a pressing on my entire body. I moved my arms up but could feel nothing but the weight on my chest. I knew he was holding me and in a bid to reciprocate, I rested my arms around myself hoping he could feel it. 

"I'll never forget you..." I whispered unexpectedly and marvelled at my words for a second. I sank further into the sheets and knew that was his acceptance of what will be the inevitable. I can see that now. A wave of relaxation came over me. The heaviness never lifted, never altered and I closed my eyes feeling blissfully happy that the missing piece of my life is back in my arms. 

It was light out when I awoke. The birds were singing and I can already hear the traffic out from the morning rush. Just another workday in the big city. 

I felt the void instantly. The atmosphere in the room was different. I was alone. My chin wobbled and I wondered if it was a dream. It must have been, but to admit it would destroy me all over again. 

I looked down and saw my blouse open, my stocking down and knew it had to be real. I got up and searched the floor for my panties. He took those off, it was him. It was then I noticed that my bag had fallen on the floor. My purse, my makeup and keys all lay waiting for me on the cold tiles. I shoved them inside as my mind filled with wonder over the previous night. It was then that the panic set in. The ticket is gone. 

"Fuck!" I sighed as I emptied the bag out onto the floor. No sign. I ran my fingers through my hair searching my brain for when I'd last seen them. I stood trying to retrace my steps. Maybe I dropped them? 

I froze as I spotted the papers on the dresser. My breathing stopping to a pace of almost non existent. I slowly walked over to see my ticket laid out neatly next to a piece of hotel letter headed paper. My hand covered my mouth in shock as I saw his writing scribbled over the page. 

Live again, for you 

His final words, our final goodbye and I felt nothing but warm. It was like a huge weight had been lifted. The darkness vanished and my soul was finally becoming lighter again. I'll always love him and we'll always have our time together, but his words have given me a new hope. He got his wings before I was ready and now like the Angel in my heart, I'm free. 


© Copyright 2017 Laura Lewis . All rights reserved.

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