My Best Friend, Tristan (Part 8)

Took weeks for Tristan to remember that his father had been named CEO of iTel Corp for the past four years. This was something his father made a huge deal about and even made us go with him to China for three months to negotiate the deal. I was only able to go because Tristan refused to go without me, and his dad wanted to show off his ability to be a single father and still get ahead in the company.

The more important things that he claims not to remember, the more I become insecure about him remembering Danny so easily. He doesn’t remember China. He doesn’t remember Lanae. And he doesn’t remember our kiss. But he remembers Danny who he wasn’t even dating for a full semester. And above this claims to love him. If Tristan’s known Danny longer, maybe I could accept the way he became so comfortable with him.

Tristan came over to my house trying to piece together memories that he’d lost. Everything in my room seemed to spark some new memories for him. I’d ask him what he remembered, and he’d just shake it off and say nothing. Trying to make it seem like it was a minor memory. But when he refused to look at me, I began to feel within myself that he was hiding something from me. He suddenly become defensive and asks me how I found out he was gay.

I thought about lying to him and just saying that he told me. Thought it might make things easier for all of us if he didn’t know about our kiss. But the thought that he’d soon remember and hate me for lying to him consumed me. So I told him.

“You kissed me.” I said as Tristan walked around my room. It was so awkward talking to him about it. He was like this stranger I was letting into the deepest part of me. I wonder if that’s what it would feel like to be fucked by him for the first time.

I just stood in front of my computer desk and let him take in as much as he could remember. He’s the only thing I wanted to be looking at. He sleekly rested his hands in somewhat loose kaki-pockets. His tall slender body always made kakis and plain long sleeved button-ups look sexy. And his ass? I can’t believe I had never looked at Tristan this way before. How did I manage to go all these years without the urge to put my mouth on every inch of him?

As Tristan turned, I could see on his face he was trying to imagine what our kiss must have been like. I think something clicked for him right away when he saw me standing up against my desk just sort of creating a mental wall between us. I had to have looked just as scared as I was that day. His face gradually turned from puzzling curiosity to certainty. He feels his lips.

“You kissed me.” He finally recalls. His realizing that specific detail was the only way I’d know for sure when he did actually remember.

“So you’re gay too.” He tried to confirm in his contained excitement. Suddenly it felt very personal. I didn’t imagine I’d be discuss my sexual preference with Tristan anytime soon. I really couldn’t come up with what to say.

“I don’t know.” I replied nervously. And I guess I really didn’t know. Despite how much I yearn for Tristan, I can never know what it would have been like if it was a girl that kissed me that day. God how I wish it had been a girl that day, instead of Tristan. We wouldn’t have such a strain on our friendship now. I miss envying him for being able to lay his sexy moves on the ladies, not wishing I was the one he was using them on.

“You don’t know?” He interrupted my thinking.

“No.” I responded half unsure of what I was really responding to.

“Oh.” He replied. He seemed genuinely disappointed. I began to think that maybe he wanted me to say yes. He turns away from me about to drop the subject. His hands are still tucked sleekly into his pocket as he stands there slim and tall.

“Is that all?” He asked. I was completely caught off guard not expecting that he was still thinking about it. “Is that all we did?” I couldn’t tell if he was asking because he remembered more, or just wanted to know if we hooked up.

“You’ve felt me up a few times.” I said. He turns and looks at me livened by this new information.

 “And did you like it?” He asks me suddenly without a single movement. The moment passes that I should have answered a simple yes or no. He starts to take in my discomfort. This made me even more nervous.

“I--I don’t know,” was all I could manage. But I did know. I liked it. In fact, I loved it. I’ve loved every moment that Tristan’s hot breath has caressed my skin. I’ve loved every way that he’s violated my body in public. And all the times he’s mind-fucked me with his teasing words drove me insane.

 “Do you want me to touch you now?” He asks. Oh God. Please do Tristan. Please touch me. I only wish I had spoken these words out. It might have turned him on to hear me beg for him like that. Tristan still hasn’t moved. He just stands there staring at me as though he had gotten exactly the answer he was looking for, and was indulging in it.

He steps up to me, fully seeing my discomfort. His gaze is so arousing that I begin to lose myself. I started aching for him and I knew he could see it because he looked at me like he had me right where he wanted me. I started to think that maybe it aroused Tristan to hold this dominance over me. He steps in even closer to me pressing one leg up against my inner thighs as he groped my crotch. Tristan kept watching my every subtle response to his touch. His eyes glint with the satisfaction of knowing what he was doing to me.

“Mm---.” He moaned. “How does a man who has no idea that he’s gay, get so turned on by another man’s touch?” he teased. I could see now that he was testing me. To see if I’d stop him.

“Kyle, you’re blushing.” He continued to grope me. I shut my eyes tightly and faced away from him. He takes my chin and pulls me close to his lips.

“This doesn’t turn you on now, does it?” He teased. How the hell is he so good at knowing the right words to say?

“Say it.” He commanded me. “Say ‘it doesn’t turn me on.’” Tristan unbuttons my pants very deliberately and slips his hands down my pants. He is only one layer away from my stiff as his command lingers in the air. I struggle to keep my cool but it was completely impossible with Tristan’s lips so close to mine. “Say it.” He whispers on my lips.

“It doesn’t turn me on.” I said in a failed attempt to seem in control. I resisted the temptation to throw myself into Tristan’s arms and beg him to fuck me.

“Mm---, Kyle.” Tristan moaned. I started to think that foreplay might be Tristan’s favorite thing about sex.

“That was such a sexy lie.” He continues to tease. “Say it again.”

“It doesn’t turn me on,” I did as he asked. And hearing me say this must have done it for him because he finally allowed me the pleasure of his hot sexy lips. Mm! Our second kiss and Tristan was taking in all of me. Breathing in so deeply you’d think he just couldn’t get enough of me. I start to completely let him have his way with me. He’s leaning in so closely he starts to press my back up against the desk. I thought this is it. He has to fuck me this time. Tristan has to have me. I was about to let go this time. I really was. Then Danny crossed my mind in such an unpleasant way. I felt bad. Weren’t they still together?

“Tell me you want me, Kyle.” He says. Those words again. Was that all I needed to say and he’d be mine? Leave Danny for good?

“What about Danny?” I hated myself for interrupting the moment like that. But wasn’t he thinking about it too?

“Forget about, Danny.” He says as he continues to kiss my neck and pull my body into him. It was crazy to hear Tristan say this because I knew how much he cared for Danny. When I told him how I didn’t do anything about Danny getting mouth fucked by Jack, he raged. Are you gonna stand by and be a watcher for the rest of your life he scorned me. The fire in his eyes told me that Danny meant the world to him. Now he’s telling me to forget about him.

“Forget about Danny?” I asked as he nipped on my neck with his teeth still pressing me into him, his arms wrapped around me. I just fit into his arms perfectly. God, the thought of Tristan’s dick pressed against my hip bone made it really hard to focus.

I wish he wasn’t making it so hard to be the good guy here. But he takes my hand and puts it on his long hard dick and my heart pounds out of control. I really didn’t want Tristan to do something he’d regret forever. Least of all with me. How could he afford to be so carefree? Is he too horny to think?

“I’m only thinking about you.” He seduces. That was so sexy. Was this just something he knew I wanted to hear?

“So why didn’t you choose me?” I challenged. He stops instantly. I completely pulled the plug to whatever surge was fueling Tristan’s hard-on.

“I thought I did.” He responds. “I mean I thought that’s what it means when a person kisses you, feels you up, and dumps his girlfriend for you.”

He was right. He had chosen me. I was so busy running from all of this that I hadn’t realized that Tristan had given me his heart.

“Then why are you with Danny?”

 “Hm. Let me see. Because you continue to reject me every time I make a move? Because you are not mature enough to handle a relationship with me? Because you can’t accept yourself for who you are?! Because Danny actually cares that I have needs? And oh! Because he’d actually put my cock in his mouth if I ask him to!”

This seemed like something Tristan had been wanting to release for a while. But could all those memories have come flooding back to him just like that? Or were these the things he refused to share with me? And what else isn’t he sharing? I could think of nothing else to say but just to try to get back at him.

“Yeah your Danny’s so perfect. Guess he didn’t tell you he left you when you were bedridden!”

“He would never do that.”

“Well he did. He thought you loved me more. But I guess he was wrong.”

“Well if you don’t know by now, then I guess he was wrong.”

“How can I know when you’re fucking him?”

“What am I trying to do with you now, Kyle?”

“You want to use us both. Well I’ll never let that happen. So choose.” Tristan stands there a moment. I really only said this because I was so sure he’d pick me. And we’d have hot, dirty, and long overdue sex right then and there. But he just turned away coldly and walked out on me. As though he didn’t want to deal with me anymore.

It took me one hour to realize it, but I was an idiot. I need Tristan in more ways than I can count. And I didn’t want someone else to have him. I shouldn’t have made him choose.

I went to Tristan’s house just with the sheer hope that he hadn’t gone straight to Danny. I had to take back everything I said. Tristan was the rare breed of man. Of course Tristan could have whatever Tristan wanted. I’d doggy style next to Danny and let him take turns ass-fucking us if it made Tristan happy. I’d let him bend me over and take me by hips full force if he wanted. Why the hell did I keep fighting him?

I arrive at Tristan’s house. I didn’t want to face his father, but I wanted to see Tristan more than I didn’t want to see his father. He wasn’t there but his housekeeper told me Tristan was upstairs. I wanted to ask her if someone was with him but I decided to hope not and just made my way up.

I was just inches away from Tristan. Maybe minutes from him making love to me. I step to his door.

“You could have stayed for me. Instead of having me chase you all the way over here.” It was Danny’s voice.

“Why would you tell Kyle that he can have me? He’s not ready to handle anything like that.”

“And you prefer to just keep using me until he comes around?”

“I told you from the beginning that someone else had my heart.”

“All these years, I just that I might have earned some of it.”

All these years? What? All these years. That’s gotta mean something right? Tristan’s known Danny for years? Or was Danny stalking him?

“Kyle?” Tristan calls my name. I couldn’t let him see me there. I left. I couldn’t deal with this confusion that Tristan and I were putting each other through. And Danny being right in the middle of it all annoyed the hell out of me. I think Tristan’s right. Maybe I’m not ready to handle anything like that.