My Best Friend, Tristan (Part 7)

I finally got up the nerve to ask the doctor about Tristan’s condition. I thought if there was anything major I had to prepare myself for, it’d be better to know now. And I’ll do my best to explain it the way he described to me, but I’m no doctor.

He explained by first describing Tristan’s physical experience during the accident. This was gruesome for me to handle. It made me feel helpless for him all over again. As though he was experiencing it again and I couldn’t help him. Again.

Dr. Shwinzur told me that Tristan never became aware he was in an accident. And because of this, he never mentally prepped his body to tense up, and this decreased his chances of muscular tearing greatly.

He said the only major injuries that Tristan sustained were frontal bone fractures from the contact his head made with the windshield, and other bone fractures in the left shoulder from his contact with the concrete when he landed.

Let me see, what else. He also sustained many minor joint dislocations that were surgically repositioned in the same night.

Because Tristan was knocked in the frontal bone, basically his forehead, a small crack caused tissue scarring in the frontal lobe. This means that Tristan’s long term and short term memory would be compromised, I think he said. So any information received within the past five years would temporarily be inaccessible. Meaning, any new friends, faces or names. But over time, he’d slowly regain everything as the tissues rebuild itself.

This was surely better news than I had expected. I was glad to know that Tristan wouldn’t forget me. Lanae he’s known for two years, he’d forget. And Danny he definitely would and I’m kind of okay with this reality. He got over Lanae easily, so Danny shouldn’t be a problem.

So from everything the doctor had told me, it was safe to think that Tristan would eventually be the way he once was. That's just like Tristan to overcome something like this.

“Honey?” My nurse friend, Brenda calls out to me. “Be careful there.”

She had noticed my head drifting off and didn’t want me to make the same mistake I had made last week. I nod to her in confirmation. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost Tristan. I felt a subtle movement come from Tristan’s bed. He moved his head slowly groaning! The nurse and I look at each other in unison. In equal disbelief. Tristan continues to groan. I rise over him with hopeful eyes. I take his hand into mine and instantly I feel a trimmer from him. He focuses his restless eyes on me in somewhat of a confused squint.

“Danny?” He sounds out of his groan.

Why’d he just call me, Danny?

The nurse rushes over to his bedside.

Is he really up I start to wonder? Or was this another cruel trick my mind had to play on me?

This is certainly unlike all those dreams I’ve had before. The nurse is here too, in just as much amazement as I am. She starts taking his pulse looking at a watch on her other hand. Tristan turns his attention to her.

“Who’s Danny?” Brenda asks as she moves on to taking his temperature.

I am in such deep thought that I almost didn’t process her question. I force myself out of these many confusing emotions and thoughts.

“Danny’s…his boyfriend.” I willed myself to say. He remembers Danny, I returned to idle thought. Tristan turns his attention back to me.

“Kyle.” He affirms with a smile.

I lift my head and give him a slight smile.

“Yes.” I responded. I couldn’t believe myself. Tristan was actually awake and I was hung up on him calling me by the wrong name. I wanted to focus only on the hopes that this was the real thing this time. But I guess it had to be. Because in no dream of mine would Tristan be calling me Danny. And in none of those dreams did Tristan not recognize right away where he was. Now he had no clue. This had to be real.

Brenda proceeded to phone someone with the phone that sat on the other side of Tristan’s bed. I look back to Tristan to make sure that he really is awake. There he laid staring up at me. I start to wonder if he can move anything yet. But I did not push this thought. It was already enough progress that his eyes were open. This feeling of joy must have manifested itself through my hands, because I squeezed Tristan’s hand completely unaware of it. I felt his hand squeeze back in a childlike grip.

“It’s alright hun. He just can’t speak very many words right now. He’ll come around.” Brenda reassures me. Soon Dr. Shwinzur enters in somewhat of contained haste.

“Well hello, Mr. Aramai. I’m Doctor Shwinzur. You are at Suni General Hospital. I’m just going to be doing some basic tests.”

The doctor takes out a flashlight and examines Tristan’s vision.

“Mr. Aramai. Can you move your toes?” Tristan says nothing. He doesn’t move. Then the Doctor takes a small metal tool and runs it down the sole of Tristan’s right foot.

“I just want you to give me a hard blink if you can feel this.”

Nothing. Tristan does not blink at all. He just lays there.

“Well that's not looking too good. Limbs may be absent of mobility.” The doctor notes.

 I coyly offer up to the Doctor that I felt Tristan's hand squeeze mine earlier. This put the doctor in a short thinking session.

 “Could be that he hasn’t gained full access to his hearing.” The doctor suggested. “MR. ARAMAI. CAN YOU MOVE YOUR TOES FOR ME? He shouts. Just then Tristan’s toes went flying back and forth. Yes! I almost blurt out.

“Very good.” The Doctor becomes pleased. “Physical therapy should be all he requires for motor skills. Brenda, have him scheduled to be moved from ICU Thursday.”

So they moved Tristan out of intensive care about two weeks ago. He’s scheduled for physical therapy every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday afternoons. He walks with a cane right now. It’s mainly for balance. All his limbs are fully functional, but his brain just has a hard time telling him when it’s time to move a leg. The cane helps his brain to realize that once he leans his weight on it, it’s time to move the other leg.

I get to take Tristan for one hour walks a day. I usually take him to the city park not too far from the hospital. He hunches over slightly like an old man because he’s always afraid he’s gonna fall. Besides this somewhat humorous way that Tristan walks, and the fracture in his left shoulder, you’d never be able to tell that he was the one involved in a three car collision.

There’s also his memory issue, I guess. I still don’t know how he remembers Danny’s name with such ease. The doctor seemed very certain of what he told me. And it proved to be true because he had no clue who Lanae was when I showed him  pictures upon pictures of her. Took him three weeks with that much assistance to remember who she was. I figured he’d take much longer to recognize the Danny that he’s known for such a short period of time. But it took no effort on my part to inform him of their relationship. Maybe Danny was wrong about how Tristan felt about him. It’s clear to me that he’s crazy about him.

I was so ready to start a life with him. He had dumped Lanae, and Danny had surrendered him to me. It started to drive me crazy that Tristan called me by Danny’s name. I don’t know if it’s because I felt like he loved him more than me, or because he wasn’t actually supposed to remember for at least another few weeks. And after almost two months of sleep, his name was the first thing that came out of his mouth. Was he the one he was hoping would be there when he woke up? Instead of me?

I watched Tristan take grandfatherly steps. He wobbled next to me from time to time. He’d fall into me and I’d struggle to keep his weight up. After a while, it became clear that he was doing this on purpose. So when he did it yet again, I let him fall.

“Woah!”He sneered up at me. I look at him still on the ground and couldn’t help but laugh. My laughter gradually turned into tears. I realized that I hadn’t laughed the entire time that Tristan was bedridden. Tristan looks up at me as I laughed. His anger slowly wears away. I lean down near him and wrap his arm around my shoulders. Then fought for balance as I struggled to lift him to his feet. He smelled like his old self again. So hypnotizing. I could tell he still felt internal pains, by the way he groaned as I lift him. But his groans were so enticing. His agony-moans turned me on because they reminded of his pleasure-moans.

"That was grimy, Kyle!" He was deadly serious this time. Tristan wasn't serious with me very often. But when he was, it was very sexy. I fought back laughter this time, trying not to upset him.

Looking at him brushing himself off, I give into the fear that this might be just another dream waiting to torment me. And I’d find myself at Tristan’s bedside. Then I think, it might not be so bad if I was dreaming. At least that would give Tristan another chance to do it all over again. A chance to get it right this time.

I toyed with the idea of just coming out and asking about Danny. How much he remembers about him. But I couldn’t ruin the first good time I have had with Tristan in such a long time. Technically, Tristan shouldn’t even remember that he’s gay. Does he remember? He just learned about that less than three months before his accident.

 “Oh so you think you can push me around cause I’m in this condition?” Tristan joked with me. He then drops his cane and stands himself straight holding himself in place.

“You see, Kyle. I don’t need you.” he boasted. I contemplated tipping him over again. But I thought that'd get him really angry. I reach down, pickup his cane and walk away with it.

“Kyle?” He calls out. I keep walking. Tristan remains frozen in place. “Kyle, come on. Kyle!”

I could get used to how this Tristan needed me for a change.

“Kyle---! This isn’t funny anymore.” I hear him yell in the distance. God he's sexy. I turn to see him. He's looking down at his legs and contemplating taking that step. Tristan was learning to walk all over again. I thought I might run back and give him his cane. Or just take his arm and walk him through it. But he took that first childlike step on his own and it took my breath away. He was trying so hard to keep himself up. I began to hope he might take that impossible second step all on his own. He seemed so focused it made me realize how something as simple as the ability to walk is taken for granted. He takes that second step that must have taken his brain a full minute to process. I smile feeling happy for him. If I let Tristan make his way to me at this pace, it might’ve taken about two full hours. But after a few more steps I decide to let him off the hook. He does enough of this in physical therapy not to have to do it on his day off. I walk back to him and hand him the cane.

“You’re a dick, Kyle.” He sneered at me.

I wanted nothing more than to just take him and kiss him this very public place. I thought what it would be like to be completely spontaneous with him. Would be find it sexy? I want those lips so badly. The more I think about it, the more I ache to take Tristan. Should I do it? Look at him. Anxiety rises in me as I thought about the very real possibility of just taking Tristan. My heart starts to race and my breathing deepens as I reached for his hand. Then:

“Tristan.” I heard. It was Danny’s voice. God. Why is he here?

Danny simply goes right through me and straight for Tristan’s lips. God that was almost me. I couldn’t believe he’d say something like that and 360 back to Tristan like that. It hurts the most to see Tristan embrace him back the way he did. So full of passion. How could he ever love me if he was busy being so into Danny? This tore me to piece as I realized, I had just missed my chance with Tristan. I turn to walk away. Tristan must’ve have noticed me right away because he called out to me too soon. I would not turn to face him though. I can’t let him see these tears I shed over him. I won’t. I walk away hoping Danny knew well enough to take Tristan back to the hospital.

Kyle. Why do you keep leaving me? He said. Or I just might have thought I heard him say. I don’t know anymore.