My Best Friend, Tristan (Part 11)

I woke up in Tristan’s bed. Not in his dorm room. In his house. I’ve never just woken up in another place before. I wonder if this is something Tristan’s always had to see to. How much work is to keep track of me? If Danny ends up some place I didn’t remember being, it’d probably be really hard for Tristan to explain.

I lay in bed finally realizing Tristan isn’t there. How could he force all that shit on me in one night when I can’t even wake up with the security of him lying next to me? You’re very sick, Kyle, Tristan’s sad voice echoes in my ears.

The Danny that I’ve watched with my own eyes getting raped is me. Was me all along. This was the only chance I got to take in this realization. I touch my face, now fully able to feel the scars and the bruises. Why couldn’t I feel them before? I start to get emotional. Feeling sorry for myself when I hear footsteps followed by a slow whining creek of Tristan’s door. His dad’s head comes peering in. One of the few times I got to see his father since his accident. He had not come to see Tristan once while he was in his coma. Or if he did I wasn’t around to see it. And I was almost always around.

He had to know I hated him. Sure he was busy being CEO and traveling around the world to make his innumerable bank account even more impossible to count. But when he got on national TV and claimed that Tristan wasn’t gay, I hated him instantly. I start to wonder how such a bad man can create such a perfect guy.

Mr. Aramai enters the room looking down at me in Tristan’s bed. He puts his hands in his pockets just like Tristan does. He gives off a sympathetic demeanor. A second later he walks up to the bed and sits down. This makes me very uncomfortable, but I fight my desire to express it. He exhales.

“I didn’t know Tristan was…” He catches himself. He becomes choked up by the thought of it and starts to loosen his tie. “If I knew he was…I wouldn’t have said those things.”

How could he not know? Tristan said he’s known Danny for five years. There’s no way he didn’t tell his father. Right?

“I wish Tristan would have talked to me more. But I guess I can’t really blame him.”

What the hell! How can I be mad at him if he was giving me every reason not to be? Is this something that runs in the family?

“When I found out, I didn’t take it as well as I would have liked to. But I came to realize that it meant the world to me that Tristan had made it out of that coma. He’s all I have.”

Mr. Aramai places his hand on mine. It sends a sensation through my body and I try not to express it. I was laying on my side and my right hand was the only part not covered up. There were a few things about him that reminded me of Tristan. And that touch was one of them.

I hear footsteps nearing Tristan’s door. I pull my hands from under Mr. Aramai’s hand as if I felt guilty for something. Tristan appears through his door with a serious demeanor.  He stands there holding a small brown paper bag with a receipt stapled to it. His dad stands up and walks over to him.

“Thanks, dad,” Tristan says. His dad puts a hand on his shoulder and taps him twice. Then he leaves. Tristan walks over to his dresser.

“Sorry for pushing you like I did last night.” That was Tristan’s sweet apologetic voice. Uttering even sweeter apologetic words.

But how can he know I’m not Danny just by walking into the room? Has he gotten that used to us? Or maybe Danny would run to him and give him a kiss when he walks through the door.

“I just thought this time you might have meant it.”

“Meant what?” I asked with Tristan’s back still to me.

“Last time you made me tell you about Danny, you disappeared for a week. You were just gone. I’d wake up thinking it’d be you lying next to me. But it was always him. And when you finally woke up, you didn’t remember any of it. I thought this time I could make you stay.”

I didn’t know what to say to that. Seems like every time Tristan opens his mouth, he says something I can’t physically defend.

“How did this happen to me?”

Tristan thinks for a moment.

“The night you almost killed me trying to take those pills, you fainted in my arms. I did everything to wake you up. When you finally woke up you looked me in the eyes and smiled. You spoke my name, then reached up and dried the tears from my eyes. It was the sweetest sound I ever heard. And it felt so good to hold you in my arms like that. And I reached down and I kissed you. Only, when I called you Kyle, you lashed out at me. My name’s not Kyle! I asked you what your name was and you said…”

Tristan pauses.

“Danny?” I finished.

Tristan nods slightly. He shakes the thought away and makes himself present again.

He suddenly opens the brown bag and pulls out a bottle of pills. This brings back a feeling of anxiety.

“Is that for me?” I start to shake in subtle panic.

He opens the bottle and takes out a tablet, puts it to his mouth and opens a water bottle. Tristan has never needed pills in his life.

“I told you you’d never take those pills again. And I meant it.”

“What is that?”

“It’s not important.” Tristan comes and sits at the edge of his bed taking off his shoes. I sit up in bed with his pillows separating my back from the wall. I stare at him start to get comfortable. He takes off his shirt and a wife-beater stays behind hugging his curves.

Tristan is so damn sexy, why couldn’t I just make myself take him? My thoughts start to wander to Danny. All the things he must have done to him. To me I guess. I get angry just thinking about how completely unfair it was for Tristan to do those things in my “mental” absence, I guess.

I stare at Tristan kinda depressed. Feeling like he cheated on me when I never had him.

“Did you fuck him?” I voiced through the thinking.

Tristan pauses.

“Yes---I always do.” Tristan answers. “He likes it.”

I hated to hear Tristan talk about Danny like that. He starts to take off his belt and I completely lose it.

“I want you to fuck me, Tristan.” I released fearfully. He turns his head to face me. I thought my face was lit on fire through his sharp glare.

He stares at me a moment trying to gage my behavior.

“Don’t ask for things you can’t handle.”

“What do you mean can’t handle? You’ve basically been fucking me anyways!”

“Shut up, Kyle.” He turns to me. “You think that’s what it’s all about?”

“No---but-I-I--love you.” Shit. Did I just say that? Really couldn't think of anything else to say?

“You don’t love me, Kyle.”

Really? That’s his response?

“Love isn’t just about fucking. It’s about the courage to stand up admit that you’re gay!”

“I don’t know---.”

 “Bullshit, Kyle. Danny’s all the shit you’re too afraid to admit to yourself! Question is, are you willing to admit that? Could you go to my father’s room right now and admit to him that you ‘love’ me!?” He lashes out.

Shit. I’m separated from my body again! Why’d he have to say that? It’s like he meant to scare me away. He knows the anxiety I feel about talking to his father at all, let alone tell him something like that.

“Tristan,” Danny calls seeing his hostility. “He’s gone.”

“Of course he is.” He replies as though it was nothing new to him.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah.”

“You don’t sound okay.” Danny comes up next to Tristan. “I bet there’s something I can do to fix that.” He starts nibbling on his ear.

This was actually kinda sexy. Tristan isn’t the type to let someone else take the lead. But he relaxes, letting Danny circle his tongue around his ear. Danny snakes his arm around to Tristan’s crotch. He cups him and Tristan grips Danny’s arm in an uncomfortable moan. I thought he might pull Danny’s hand away. But he just holds his grip there with his eyes shut tightly. Danny continues to rub Tristan’s crotch more gently now, relaxing him.

Tristan slowly eases back into enjoying Danny’s touch. It was beautiful, like Danny was mending his broken heart just by touching him. Danny pulls Tristan’s head back and kisses him. Shit. Tristan’s even sexier when he gives away complete dominance. I mean seriously. What can possibly make this hotter?---Oh right. If Tristan takes his dominance back. And that’s just what he does when he lifts Danny by the waste and lays him on the bed.

Seeing Tristan like this kinda made me ache for him. I suddenly wanted to know everything there was to know about what turns him on. He starts kissing on Danny’s neck and he moans loudly.

I think it was easier to watch when Tristan wasn’t the one making Danny feel good. Because I'm reminded that that could have been me. Why couldn’t he just shut his smart mouth and give me what I wanted? Instead of scaring me off.

Could I make myself return to my body? Or do I just have to wait for it to wear off? That might be kinda awkward to suddenly appear there, I guess.

Tristan kisses Danny passionately as though he had been deprived of sex all his life. As though they didn’t just fuck last night. Danny struggles to unhook Tristan’s belt. I could sense in Tristan’s behavior that he was getting impatient as he kisses Danny down his neck line. But who could blame him. At the high Tristan was at, any sort of amateur delay could drive him crazy.

Suddenly Tristan pulls Danny’s hand away. He rises to his knee and unzips his pants in haste. Danny sits up watching him. In no time Tristan’s cock was being rammed down Danny’s throat. The moist warmth of Danny’s mouth must’ve countered the abrasions caused by Tristan’s zipper because he released the hottest moan I have ever heard. He continues to ram his cock into Danny’s mouth in complete ecstasy.

Ughhh---He moans with each hurried motion of sliding into Danny’s mouth.

I just stand there and gulp a huge deposit of salva. I was getting hard no doubt. So I grabbed my dick pressed against my leg and try to tame it. This was wrong, but Tristan’s moan kept me wanting more.

“Bend over!” He commands. Danny turns around and pokes his ass out in front of Tristan. Oh god! He’s really gonna do it. Tristan doesn’t give it a second thought before ramming his cock into Danny. Danny lets out a small whimper through Tristan’s moan.

I hadn’t realized it but I took a step closer feeling drawn to Tristan. Danny’s moans now boarder continuous whimpering. He is in pain but seems to be fighting through it. Tristan was so far gone he didn’t seem to notice the difference. He grabs Danny’s hip and grips the side of his thigh with the other hand. With every thrust came a moan from Tristan’s sweet lips.

Huh-Huh-Huh Tristan sounds. He had to be close the way his mind and body were synced.

“Oh fuck, Kyle!” Tristan belts.

What!?

They stop!

What’d he just say!?

Danny shoves him away.

I rush over to Tristan. He sits at the other end of the bed leaning against the wall and seemly trying to make sense of how he could have made that mistake. But he was thinking about me.

“I hate you, Tristan Aramai!” Danny releases through streams of tears.

I turn to Danny, feeling---sorry for him? Shit. What the hell is this? He’s not even a person.

“I’m sorry, Danny.”

“You said it’d never happen again.” He sobs.

Again? I turn to Tristan. Again? I look back at Danny. It’s happened before? I lean near Danny.

Danny gets out of bed. And starts to grab his shoes.

“Don’t go, Danny. Please don’t leave me too.” Most of the fight was in Tristan’s voice because he didn’t move an inch. He seemed to be in this self-reflective state of defeat.

Danny pauses a moment. He looks at Tristanwho looked pitiful. There was nothing so bad in the world to walk out on a man like Tristan begging you to stay.

Danny drops his shoes. He crawls into bed with Tristan who was still leaning against the wall.

Danny rests his head on his chest. Tristan remains unmoved. He only lifts a hand and places it on Danny’s head.

It’s this moment that truly makes me realize that Tristan loves Danny as his own person.

“It’s really lonely dealing with this on my own.” Tristan utters lowly.

...

“You’re not alone.”

...

"Kyle?"