Starting lines for a horror story.Please give comments/tips.

Starting lines for a horror story.Please give comments/tips.

Status: Finished

Genre: Horror

Details

Status: Finished

Genre: Horror

Summary

I have currently been working on a new idea for a short story. The premise i have come up with so far is thus: A man wakes up to find he is being killed. THe killer inflicts terrible pain upon the man and eventually he dies. However the man does not die. He becomes trapped in a strange world where people are hunted constantly by a strange man, the man who had killed him. It seems the way he kills his victims traps them in another realm, allowing him to "play" when he pleases with their lives. This is my idea so far and it is still in progress so please feel free to offer any tips. Thank you

Summary

I have currently been working on a new idea for a short story. The premise i have come up with so far is thus: A man wakes up to find he is being killed. THe killer inflicts terrible pain upon the man and eventually he dies. However the man does not die. He becomes trapped in a strange world where people are hunted constantly by a strange man, the man who had killed him. It seems the way he kills his victims traps them in another realm, allowing him to "play" when he pleases with their lives.

This is my idea so far and it is still in progress so please feel free to offer any tips. Thank you

Content

Submitted: March 07, 2012

A A A | A A A

Content

Submitted: March 07, 2012

A A A

A A A


Breathing. Breathing echoes through the air, hazy and fading. My eyes try to adjust to the lack of light around me. Suddenly a great pain comes upon me. I feel tugging and pulling at my stomach. The pain overrides my sense of confusion and my teeth grit tighter. I notice in front of me a shadow, a formless man. “I drugged you so you wouldn’t feel the worst of it but I think the drugs will be wearing off shortly. Then the fun can begin.” I screamed as loud as my lungs would allow “Where am i? Please let me go. You fucking bastard. Talk to me. Arrghhhh.”  After groaning I felt warm blood in my mouth, the taste bitter like copper. “You want me to let you go? Why would I do that? All of our lives lead to death. You should be grinning from ear to ear that your maker is waiting for you.” He let out a dry laugh, heartless and devoid of remorse. Suddenly I felt a strong grip on the top of my head. “What are you doing to me? No…let me go... Fuck off” I shouted but the hand still stayed in place. I felt something clod against the side of my lips and felt a strong, sharp pain move from my lips to the side of my head. My screams became louder and louder, like a pig being slaughtered. His laughter got louder. “Now you can smile. It’s not so bad when its all over.” Suddenly a light flickered. I began to feel my body again but my feet. I couldn’t feel my feet. I looked down. Small sausages of reddened meat dangled out from my stomach, lying against my sides. Where my feet once were there was bloodied bone, stripped clean of any flesh and stained red. My flesh lay scattered around me in an elaborate collage of agony.  The screams that emanated from my bedroom were met with deaf ears that cold dark night. Every scream was met with laughter until the end. Once the crying and spluttering stopped, even hell noticed the pain that had been inflicted.

 


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