War Of The Turdbots

War Of The Turdbots

Status: Finished

Genre: Humor

Details

Status: Finished

Genre: Humor

Summary

re-animated fecal based robots have taken over the galaxy of Funkoo,forcing every CooCoo,Cumbus,Clausin to band together,and fight them off.Does Lady Tuna's bowel movement hold the key to stopping them? Read it and find out.

Summary

re-animated fecal based robots have taken over the galaxy of
Funkoo,forcing every CooCoo,Cumbus,Clausin to band together,and fight them off.Does Lady Tuna's bowel movement
hold the key to stopping them? Read it and find out.

Content

Submitted: September 27, 2012

A A A | A A A

Content

Submitted: September 27, 2012

A A A

A A A





WAR OF THE TURDBOTS

WRITTEN BY

JOSEPH A. SMALL

2011



Ten days had past since Tunakia,and it's moon Beebaria succumbed to the
defecating assault of the Turdbots.Now Lady Tuna & Chaknee sit in the brig of one of
the Bee Bees watermelon arks enroute to the remote frozen planet of Isakoola...

"Chaknee, why does shit always happen to me?"

"I don't know,my queen.Look at the bright side,those smelly doo doo creatures
did kill Captain Nornoola when they attacked Beebaria."

"You know,Chaknee.You are so right. That tranny granny motherfucker Nornoola
is finally dead! Oh,glee for me!"

Both Lady Tuna & Chaknee jumped up when the red alert was activated...

"INTRUDER ALERT! INTRUDER ALERT!"

"Oh,no! Those space turds caught up to us!"

Hundreds of Turdbots began to attach themselves to the watermelon ark.A few
made their way inside trying to attack the Bee Bees.Lady Tuna & Chaknee looked up in fear
as they can hear all kinds of strange scary noises like some violent skirmish on the level
above them.Chaknee looked down and saw a surprise...

"Lady Tuna,look?"

Lady Tuna looked down on the floor,and saw Bitsy Bee Bee standing there with
a big smile on her face...

"Lady Tuna? I thought your name was Miss Goody?" Bitsy asked...

"Oh,it is! It's Miss Lady Tuna Goody."

"Well,that's a funny name."

"And Bitsy isn't?" Chaknee commented...

"Shut the fuck up,Checkers! You want to queer our chances on getting the fuck
out of here?"
Lady Tuna scorned Chaknee...

"Oh,you had to use the Q-word!"

"Oh,that's okay.I like you both who ever you are."

Bitsy told them.Just then two Bee Bee guards came rushing in screaming and
covered in shit.Chaknee started freaking out...

"The space turds are here,and we can't get out!"

"Don't worry,stand back!"

Bitsy turned around and ripped out a gigantic fart which knocked Lady Tuna &
Chaknee to the back of the wall.The bars to their cell buckled, and bented out of shape
enough to allow them to escape.Chaknee picked up Bitsy,and they ran out of there...

"AAAH! Look at that?!"

Chaknee cried out.Lady Tuna looked down the corridor to find two Turdbots
blocking their way...

"You think you can fart again,Bitsy?" Lady Tuna asked...

"Nope,sorry."

"Oh,I don't want to die covered in dooky!"

Chaknee weeped.Lady Tuna turned around and slapped him...

"Snap out of it,you Drama Queen!"

"Ouch! That hurts you rotten old Bitch! How do you suppose we get out of this?"

"Leave that to me."

Lady Tuna walked towards one of the Turdbots,trying to psyche it out.The
Turdbot starts to charge towards Lady Tuna.When it got close enough she grabbed it's thin
plastic tube legs,and lifted it over her head.With all of her might she slammed it on the
floor,and smashed open the clear capsule that housed the re-animated shit.She watched the
fecal contents flop out,squirm across the floor,and scrunch up in a corner.Lady Tuna let
out a growl,and flung herself at it,digging into it with her hands & nails,wildly eating
it as Chaknee looked on in disgust...

"How can you eat that?!"

"Hey,if I can eat my own shit without barfing,I can hold this down!"

Lady Tuna told him as she continued munching down the dooky like a pig on slop.
Chaknee was getting sick from watching her.He turned away,and vomited on the floor...

"Say,Chaknee? Find something to scoop that up in? I might want a snack later."

Lady Tuna asked him,as she pointed to the pile of puke.When they reached a
different section of the ship,Lady Tuna watched the Bee Bees fighting for their funky little
lives against the Turdbots.She made a realization that she was at the mercy of the Bee Bees
to take her,and Chaknee to the polar surface of Isakoola.If the Bee Bees fail,she is doomed
in dooky...
"Chaknee,I'm gonna do something I never thought I would ever do."

"And what is that?"

"I'M GONNA HELP SAVE THE BEE BEES!"

Lady Tuna shouted.Chaknee's mouth gaped open in shock at what he just heard.
Lady Tuna let out a roar,and engaged the Turdbots in shitty battle.Pulling Turdbots off the
Bee Bees left & right.Fighting side by side with the Bee Bees to crush,kill,and destroy the
Turdbots.
Outside the watermelon ark,a squadron of Bee Bee fighters headed by Bronco Bee
Bee began to blast off the Turdbots,but more kept coming...

"We have to keep fighting them off!"

Bronco told his colleagues in his pear infused fighter...

"Sir, I'm detecting a Boo Boo class vessel coming in range."

One of the Bee Bee fighters told him...

"Please identify yourselves?"

Bronco signaled the Boo Boo craft...

"This is the BARBOOFA. We are here to assist you."

The Barboofa flew around to the infected side of the watermelon ark.They singed
and scorched off the Turdbots by skimming the surface of the watermelon with a wide range heat
laser.The Barboofa docked with the ark,and sent in the Coo Coo Forces to deal with the Turdbot
infestation.Armed with laser rifles,the troops began blasting away the Turdbots,and evacuating
the Bee Bees off the ark,and on to the Barboofa,including Lady Tuna & Chaknee...

"I never thought I would be happy to see Coo Coos!" Chaknee told Lady Tuna...

"Yeah,right." Lady Tuna responded with less enthusiasm.

When entering the Barboofa,Lady Tuna & Chaknee looked out of the windows into
space.They could see what looked like thick giant brown clouds moving in their direction.It
had seem the Turdbots found a way to multiply in large numbers.



PLUTON:
MR.BEANER'S DEPARTURE:

Mr.Beaner & 2T2 were putting supplies aboard the Pelican when a transport
landed next to them...

"I wonder who the fuck is this now?" 2T2 wondered...

"Eh,I really don't care 2T2. It's bad enough we are gonna freeze our hineys off
on Isakoola."

The transport doors open up,and the look of Coo Coo dread comes over Mr.Beaner's
face.It was Herbert Hinzburgh & Mrs.Tallahassee with a bunch of suitcases...

"HI!" Herbert shouted out...

"Eh,OH NO! What are you two morons doing here?" Mr.Beaner asked out of fear...

"Well,is that how you greet old friends,Mr.Beaner?" Mrs.Tallahassee questioned...

"Eh,and you are certainly that...old!"

"Here!" Herbert handed Mr.Beaner a pink piece of paper.He opened it up to look at
it...
"What is it?" 2T2 asked...

"It's a letter from your old girlfriend Princess Coo Coo."

"Princess Coo Coo? Ooh! I hope it's hot & sexy!" 2T2 wished...

"I don't think so! Hmm...Let's see,

DEAR MR. BEANER:
I KNOW THAT YOU HAVE DONE ALOT FOR ME IN THE PAST,INCLUDING
SAVING ME FROM HUBBA DULA,BUT NOW I NEED ANOTHER FAVOR FROM YOU.I WAS WONDERING
IF YOU COULD TAKE MRS.TALLAHASSEE & HERBERT TO ISAKOOLA WITH YOU? NONE OF THE
OTHER STARSHIPS WILL TAKE THEM. HERBERT IS JUST TOO MESSY,AND NONE OF THE SHIPS
HAVE PROPER SEATING TO ACCOMMODATE MRS.TALLAHASSEE'S ENORMOUS ASS.SO I HOPE YOU
WILL BE A DEAR,AND DO THIS SMALL TASK FOR ME?

HUGS & KISSES,
PRINCESS COO COO"

Mr.Beaner slowly looked up in disappointment...

"Eh,why does all this crappytoo always happens to me?"

"Beats the shit out of me." 2T2 responded...

"Well,are you gonna let us on board,or what,Sweety?" Mrs. Tallahassee wondered...

"Eh?"

"Do you have any pudding?" Herbert asked...

"NO! I don't have any pudding! Eh,just get on the fuckin' ship before I change my mind!"

Mr.Beaner snapped...

"Oh,thank you Mr.Beaner." Said Mrs. Tallahassee as she tried to give Mr.Beaner a hug...

"And that's another thing,Mrs. Tallahassee! Keep your naughty hands to yourself!"

"Oh well,I guess it's your loss." She said with a wink,as she and Herbert boarded the
Pelican.


DESTINATION ISAKOOLA:

When the Pelican reached the frozen planet of Isakoola,thousands of starships floated
around it's orbit,confusing Mr.Beaner...

"Eh,now what do we do?" Mr.Beaner asked...

"How the fuck should I know? You're the captain." 2T2 told him...

"Well,I'm sorry 2T2. I'm just not good at all this funky shittytoo."

"Let's ask Mrs. Tallahassee? She might know what to do."

"Eh okay,but use the intercom. There's no room in this cockpit,and I don't want her
coming on to me,by feelin' my tushy up."

2T2 activated the intercom,and Herbert appeared on the screen...

"Herbert put Mrs. Tallahassee on the intercom?"

"Oh,but why?"

"Just do it! I don't have time for your Coo Coo nonsense!" Mr.Beaner shouted. Mrs.
Tallahassee appears on the screen...

"Hello? Mrs. Tallahassee speaking?"

"Mrs. Tallahassee,we've reached Isakoola,and we don't know what to do from here?"

"Contact the planet's surface,and tell them that Ambassador Tallahassee has arrived,
and needs permission to land."

"Ambassador?" Mr.Beaner was surprised...

"Yes,I am a ambassador."

"Maybe it would be easier if we just patch her through to the surface." 2T2 suggested...

"Good idea!"

FORTREXA:
THE BOO BOO CLUSTER:

On the bridge of the Fortrexa,Captain Florence Jean Flablicker has gotten word that the
Turdbots have taken control of the planet Pluton,transforming it into a ball of shit.Now she must take
the Fortrexa into battle to try to prevent them from reaching the water planet of Aqualooka...

"Captain Flablicker we are in orbit around Aqualooka."

"Okay,Honey."

As the Fortrexa orbits Aqualooka,a cluster of Turdbots are moving in to infiltrate the
planet...
"Captain,our scans have detected the Turdbots entering Aqualookian space,and are closing
in on our position!"

Captain Flablicker turns on the intercom,so the whole station can hear her...

"Attention Honeys,all battle stations! We are about to be attacked by those nasty doo doo
robots! Stand by to open fire,Honeys!"

"We have visual,Captain."

"Put it on the screen."

Captain Flablicker,and her crew could see the huge cloud of Turdbots coming closer to them
& Aqualooka...
"Oh,my lord! Raise the fuckin' shields!"

The Fortrexa turned into a giant bug zapper when it raised it's shields.Shocking & destroying
hundreds of Turdbots as they slammed onto the surface of the station...

"Captain,there are far too many Turdbots! The shields are weakening!"

"Shit! Open fire on those motherfuckin' turds,Honey!"

The Fortrexa shot off a cascade of laser fire,but were unable to hit all the Turdbots due to
the vast number of them.Many of them managed to slip by,and are now enroute to Aqualooka...

"Captain,the Turdbots have entered the atmosphere of Aqualooka!"

"Damn it!"

The Turdbots plunged into the liquid surface of Aqualooka.Dissolving,brewing,and polutting it's
waters with shit.The crew of the Fortrexa watched in horror as the deep blue planet changed to a chocolate
brown. Aqualooka had become a planet of DIARRHEA...

"Captain,what do we do now?"

"Contact Coo Coo Command,Honey."

Betty Boo Boo appears on the screen...

"Betty,we failed to save Aqualooka,and we don't know how long we can hold those turds off,Honey."

"Abort the mission,Captain Flablicker.Take the Fortrexa to Infratoola.The Turdbots can't take
extreme heat or cold.This is why everyone relocated to Isakoola.I'll send help as soon as possible."

"Alright Betty. Navigator,set a course for Infratoola."

The Fortrexa moved swiftly towards Infratoola.The Turdbots began to follow them,and manage to
attach themselves to the Fortrexa,ripping off the outer Dookerite panels of the station.Captain Flablicker
got on the intercom...

"Attention Honeys.We're going in the atmosphere of Infratoola,so it's gonna get hot in here."

Things began to heat up as the Fortrexa skimmed across the atmosphere of Infratoola.Everything
around them had turned a bright red...

"Captain Flablicker, I don't know how much pressure & heat the Fortrexa can take!"

"Hang in there old girl! Oooh!"

Worried Captain Flablicker as she looked up,and clinging to her chair.The structure of the
Fortrexa began to creak and rumble.The Turdbots that clunged to the station began to die & burn off,as the
re-animated shit cooked & boiled inside their clear capsules until the heated pressure caused them to explode...

"Captain,it's working! The Turdbots are dying off,but the Fortrexa has sustained heavy structural
damage.We might not make it to Isakoola."

Captain Flablicker went back to the intercom...

"This is your captain again,Honeys! I want all of ya to evacuate to the top globe of the station
right now!"

Everyone rushed to the top portion of the Fortrexa as Florence Jean Flablicker's voice echoed
throughout the station...

"Captain,everyone is inside the globe."

"Okay,Honey! Now detach us from the rest of the Fortrexa,and move us to a higher orbit around
Infratoola."

As the globe detached,the rest of the Fortrexa was pulled down by the planet's gravity until it
burned up & exploded.The globe orbited Infratoola like a small moon while keeping the Turdbots at distance
because of the extreme heat of the planet.Captain Flablicker and her crew were safe for now.

ISAKOOLA - THE GREAT GATHERING:

The biggest assembly of Coo Coo,Cumbus,Clausins gathered in the great ice court of the goddess
Katheela to hear what the Coo Coo Federation plan to do about the Turdbots that have plagued the Funkoo system.
Betty Boo Boo stepped up to the podium to explain to everyone what needs to be done...

"As you all know,we are now facing one of the biggest threats to our funky coo coo lives.
Artificial fecal based lifeforms manufactered by the Tunakians have spread a wave of filth & shit throughout
Funkoo. We must band together to stop them. We must declare war on the Turdbots."

Discord broke out everywhere as people began to shout out against Betty Boo Boo. Furious,
Mr.Beaner went up to the podium...

"Eh,stop it! Stop all this naughty Foo Foo shit right now! We must listen to Betty Boo Boo!
She's the only one who can give us the power to stop those nasty turds!"

"And how are we supposed to do that? There's far too many of them! I've been blasting away
those things for days!"

Said the booty hunter Jeaneetee Hoostydia. Betty Boo Boo stood up to the podium again...

"Just before the defecated demise of Tunakia, we received a transmission from Sammymede. He
gave us vital information about the Turdbots,including their weaknesses,as well as a frequency code to detect
the nano meaties that control them."

"Yes,but you currently don't have a weapon to stop all of them! I say let's get in our spaceships,
and leave Funkoo!"

Billy Bar Bar told them...

"And where will you go,Honey? Those robot turds will follow you like they've been doing for days,
you asshole!"
Said a larger than life Florence Jean Flablicker on the jumbo video screen behind the podium...

"We must do what Betty Boo Boo says,before their numbers grow & grow! You hear me,Honeys?!"

Florence's voice echoed throughout the masses. Betty pulled out a pamplet...

"You have to understand that as long as we can take a dookie,we are not safe from these nano meaties.
They can contaminate our own doo doo,and turn it against us. We have prepared guidelines for everyone to use to
prevent nano meatie infestations.

NUMBER ONE. All spaceships are required to be fitted with new toilets that burn & incinerate our shit,
and used toilet paper. Chamber pots,bed pans,and outhouses are prohibited.

NUMBER TWO. If you have babies,and they poop their diapers? The shitty diapers must be incinerated,
and your baby's tiny,tender tushy must be quickly sanitized.Diaper pails are prohibited.

NUMBER THREE. If you have pets,you must scoop up their droppings,and destroy it.Keep pet areas clean.
For even one small mouse turd can be cataclysmic.

NUMBER FOUR. If you happen to shit your clothes. Put your soiled clothing & underwear in a air tight,
sealed plastic bag, and have them incinerated. Do not attempt to wash out your clothes,and make sure you clean
yourself up real good afterwards.You must also check your underwear from time to time for skid marks & powder burns.

NUMBER FIVE. Is maintaining a immaculate poop chute. We have to keep our rectums clean & free of any
fecal residue,including any dry flakey fecal matter that has caked around your buttholes. We must do this until the
crisis is over."

Betty Boo Boo instructed everyone. She then noticed Herbert Hinzburgh raising his hand...

"Yes,Herbert?"

"Oh, do I have to take a doo doo now,Betty?"

"Well,do you have to go?"

"Nooo."

"Then you don't have to."

Sally Macious then raised her hand, which Betty then pointed to her...

"Yes?"

"Hi! I'm Sally Macious- Girl Reporter. Have you tried to communicate with the Turdbots to see what
they want from us?"

"We did try to contact them,Sally. The only thing we recieved back were various electronic fart
noises that none of our translation devices could decipher."

"Suppose that we can't stop them? What will we do then?"

Worried Poopa,The Tomato Head Girl...

"We understand your fear,Poopa. If it comes to the point that we can not stop the Turdbots,we will
have to sacrifice ourselves by shooting a detonation device into the Great Cosmic Egg. It will create an implosion
that will suck everything in our system inside it,and destroy us. We can't allow the Turdbots to go beyond the
barrier of Funkoo."

Everyone at the assembly chatted among themselves. Many were afraid of what might become of them.
As leader,Betty Boo Boo had no choice but to be honest with them. She picked up a small box,and continued to
speak...
"What I hold in my hands is a turd tracking device. All of you will be given one to install in your
ships. It can detect the Turdbots before any of our current long range scans can. It should give us an advantage
when we engage them in battle."

Billy Bar Bar got up again to antagonize,and challenge Betty Boo Boo's authority...

"Excuse me,Betty. What if we don't want to go on your fuckin' crusade? What if we decide to say
'Fuck it all',and leave this whole shitty system?"

"First of all you'll need the natural flow of Organi Eroshina from the Great Cosmic Egg to keep you
going,so how the fuck are you gonna survive outside the system,huh?! You can forget about those fuckin' portable
artificial units that put out unstable & volatile levels of Eroshina that causes Euphoric Coo Coo Seizures &
Giggly Goo Goo Syndrone! Do any of you remember that woman last year who used one of those machines?! Her fuckin'
head inflated & popped off!!! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?!!! YOUR FUCKIN' HEAD TO POP OFF,YOU FUCKFACE SON OF A BITCH!!!"

A furious Betty Boo Boo shouted at him. Everyone there was in shock...

"Compared to listening to your bullshit since I got here? YEAH!"

Billy snapped back...

"WHY YOU BASTARD!!!"

Betty Boo Boo jumped down from the podium,and sliced into the crowd. When she reached Billy Bar Bar,
she grabbed him by the collar,and began to slap the shit out of him. People were screaming & shouting as they began
to panic,and then...a riot broke out. Everyone was fighting each other. Bronco Bee Bee was tossed in the air.
Florence Jean Flablicker became frustrated on the gigantic video screen because she couldn't get in on the action.
Mr.Beaner felt helpless as he stood next to Princess Coo Coo on the stage,and then...he heard a beeping sound...

"Eh, Princess Coo Coo are you beeping?" Mr.Beaner asked...

"Why no. It's coming from that box Betty dropped on the stage." Princess Coo Coo told him...

"Eh,the turd tracker is going off! Which means..."

"There might be a Turdbot out there in the crowd. Son of a Bitch!" 2T2 finished Mr.Beaner's sentence.

Mr.Beaner picked up the detector,and moved it around the perimeter until he had a strong signal.
The beeping got louder when he aimed it in the direction of two Tunakians who stood on the sidelines trying to avoid
the rioting. He stepped down from the podium,and carefully made his way through the crowd...

"What in Coo Coo blazes is this?" Mr.Beaner thought to himself looking at the turd tracker as he stood
in front of the two Tunakians.When he looked up at them,he could not believe his eyes...It was LADY TUNA...

"YOU?!" Mr.Beaner shouted.

TURDS OF THE PAST:

As the Coo Coo,Cumbus,Clausins took refuge on the planet Isakoola. The Turdbots descended on the Dookyroid
Field. Once the remains of the ancient titans known as the Turd Gods,the Turdbots have other plans as they began to sand,
shape,sculpture,and remodify the Dookyroids into multi-faceted Boo Boo shaped spaceships. Other Turdbots brought starship
parts from the planets they've conquered,refurbishing & retrofitting them into fully functional Boo Boos. Now the Turdbots
have a fleet of battle ships.

ISAKOOLA:
THE MYSTERIES OF LADY TUNA'S ASSHOLE:

Mr.Beaner stood frozen as everyone around him rumbled. He was face to face with a ghost from his past...

"Eh, I thought you were dead?"

"Time travel is a fickle Bitch,Mr.Beaner."

"Eh, I see that you're still ugly & smelly as ever!"

"Thanks for the compliment,you dirty old Bastard. Tee,hee,hee!"

"Eh, why is this tingay detecting nano meaties on you?"

"How the fuck should I know? I don't even know what a nano meatie is?"

"Eh, I need to talk to Betty Boo Boo,but everybody is fighting!"

Bitsy Bee Bee jumped down from Lady Tuna's hands,and aimed her little hinney at the crowd. Mr.Beaner
watched in amazement as she let out a ice shattering fart that knocked everyone's ass on the floor...

"Oooh!" A surprised Mr.Beaner shouted. The video monitor that Florence Jean Flablicker was on came
crashing down,losing her transmission. Everyone was shocked to see Lady Tuna alive,including Betty Boo Boo who got up,
and walked over to her...

"Lady Tuna,I see that you have survived."

"Yes,and I see what a insensitive Bitch you have become,Betty. I'm impressed."

"Let's cut the crap,Lady Tuna! What is your connection to the Turdbots? Are you behind this new menace?"

Suddenly a Bee Bee's voice cuts in...

"Do not answer her,Lady Tuna!"

Everyone turned around to see Betty Bee Bee come out of the crowd...

"Lady Tuna was in custody on Beebaria at the time when the outbreak of Turdbots occured. She is completely
innocent. If you want to question someone,you should be going after Tunakia's current leader Mister Tuna."

"Then explain to us why we are detecting nano meaties in her belly?"

"Because she ate one of the Turdbots while helping the Bee Bees to escape."

Chaknee told them. Everyone was stunned,and a bit grossed out by what she did...

"Eh,you ate dooky?" Mr.Beaner questioned Lady Tuna...

"Call it a weakness." Lady Tuna replied...

"How ironic?"

"Eh,what do you mean,Betty?"

"It seems whatever is brewing in Lady Tuna's colon may hold the key to stopping the Turdbots,and saving
the galaxy."
"Eh,you mean?"

"Yes! By extracting the nano meaties from Lady Tuna's feces we may be able to program them to breakdown
the Turdbots on a bio-meatie scale. All we have to do now is wait for her to have a bowel movement."

"Eh,couldn't we just give her a harsh laxative,or a industrial strength enema to make her have a painful
dooky now?"
Mr.Beaner wondered...

"No. We can't take the risk of damaging the nano meaties. It has to be a natural process for it to work."

Betty Boo Boo told them. Princess Coo Coo came forth...

"Then I declare making Lady Tuna's poop our top priority. Mr.Beaner I would like you to take Lady Tuna
aboard the Pelican until she takes a dooky."

"Oh,no! No! No! I'm not taking her anywhere! It's bad enough that I have Herbert & Mrs.Tallahassee on
my ship let alone having Lady Tuna stinking it up with her doo doo!"

Mr.Beaner snapped...

"Well,that's okay by me,cuz I wouldn't be caught dead taking a shit in front of that Old Fart anyhow!"

Lady Tuna shouted...

"Eh,Old Fart?!"

"That's right! I'm the same age as I was 27 years ago thanks to my beloved Sammymede!"

Lady Tuna boasted...

"Eh,well it's a pity he couldn't do something about your face & body odor!"

Mr.Beaner fired back...

"Stop it you two! There's been too much bickering & fighting among ourselves already! There's not much
time before the Turdbots will figure out a way to protect themselves from the freezing temperatures of this planet,and
then we will all be doomed!"

Betty Boo Boo scorned them...

"We need to find someone to take Lady Tuna under their wing,and make sure that her infected feces makes
it to our scientists safely."

Said Princess Coo Coo...

"I'll do it!"

Everyone turned around to see a big ROOSTER standing there...

"Who are you,big chicken?" Betty Boo Boo asked...

"My name is Clucky E. Picante,captain of the COSMA MUFFALETTA,one of the four galaxy class Boo Boo
starships."

Everyone gazed up to see these four massive Boo Boos in orbit around Isakoola. They overshadowed the
rest of the spaceships...

"Oh,my goodness!"

Princess Coo Coo shouted as she marveled at the size of the starships. Betty was stunned...

"Why wasn't I informed that we had such huge Boo Boos?" Betty asked...

"They were designed & put in place by an elite faction of Coo Coo Command in case of a crisis like the
one we are in now."

"I have to say that I'm a bit miffed by all of this."

"I'm very sorry Miss Boo Boo,but we had to keep the project a secret."

"What are the names of the other Boo Boos?"

"Besides the Cosma Muffaletta,there's the PICCADILLY CHILLI,the CHANTILLY MILLY,and the HOOTENANNY MAMMY.
Since I'll be taking full responsibility for Lady Tuna,we would like you Miss Boo Boo,and Mr.Beaner to be active captains
on two of the Boo Boos. We plan to rescue Captain Flablicker,and have her serve on the third."

Captain Picante told them...

"Sounds great!" Betty said with a big red lipstick smile...

"I have my crew onboard already. There's not much time to co-ordinate the rest of the characters for battle,
so I brought in NANNY NIBBLES as our casting director."

Nanny Nibbles walks up to the podium with a clipboard in her hands.She has short red hair,cateye glasses,
and a no nonsense attitude about her...

"Attention everyone! Listen closely! As I read each group of names, you will be instructed on where to go.
LANA LOO LOO,PENNY POP N' FRESH,COOKYLAMOO,OLIVIA NEUTRON BOMB,and QUADOOFA,you will serve as Captain Boo Boo's crew on
the Piccadilly Chilli. 2T2,HERBERT HINZBURGH,MRS.TALLAHASSEE,and PRINCESS COO COO will serve under Captain Beaner on the
Chantilly Milly."

Nanny pauses for a drink of ice water,and then continues...

"DEEDEECACA,RUSTAKOOLA,FATTY & COCKY CRUMBCAKES,JEANEETEE HOOSTYDIA,DAWNYPOO BITCHYFACE,DOWNEYDULA CHIPMUNKIA,
BUTTERBEAN CUDDLY CHOPS,and BABKA BABUSHKA,you Booty Hunters will be given a chance to redeem yourselves as you will be
dropped off on Cookamungus-X for combat duty when the Turdbots attack. SALLY MACIOUS,SALLY SIBBLES,BILLY BAR BAR,POOPA,
TATYANNA TUNA,JOJO SMALLAVILLA,GARGARIEL GROTCHAGOOLIA,HILDAGARD VAN HIGGLES,and BIANCA BOOM BOOM,since you are all a bunch
of losers,you will be fitted with helmets & goggles,and placed in Hyper Fighters,headed by BRONCO BEE BEE. The rest of you
check the bulletins as you leave to see which Boo Boos you are assigned to. Good luck!"

Nanny Nibbles stepped down from the podium,and left...

INFRATOOLA:
RESCUE OF THE FORTREXA:

Captain Florence Jean Flablicker patted the sweat off her face,neck,and chest with a ice pack.She and her
crew still in orbit around Infratoola with what was left of the Fortrexa...

"I don't know how much more I can take of this heat,Honey. I feel like a ham in a smokehouse in here."

Captain Flablicker told her crew...

"Captain we are picking up a very large Boo Boo coming in our direction! There seems to be some sort of
battle taking place. I believe they are destroying Turdbots as they come closer."

"Move the globe out of the atmosphere so they can see us,Honey!"

"But the Turdbots?..."

"Just do it!"

As the globe moved out of Infratoola,the Turdbots attached themselves to it,and tried to break inside it.
The Hootenanny Mammy moved in on Captain Flablicker's position,and began burning off the Turdbots...

"Attention! I want all of ya to go to the main hatch for evacuation! Make sure you arm yourselves in case
those turds break in here,Honeys!"

Captain Flablicker announced to her crew.The Hootenanny Mammy latched itself to the globe,allowing the
Fortrexa crew to come aboard...

"Now I want all of ya to clear the bridge,and quickly get to the other ship!"

As the crew left the bridge,Captain Flablicker activated the self destruct mechanism on the Fortrexa globe...

"Computer? Self destruct sequence H-O-T-H-O-N-E-Y-M-A-M-A."

"Code approved. Activate self destruct for five minute countdown."

The computer told her. Captain Flablicker jumped out of her chair likety split,and ran out of the bridge...

"Oooh! I gotta move my ass,Honey!"

She spoke out loud as she ran down the corridor with her big melon shaped boobs knocking back & forth.
She then jumped into the air,and flew into the hatch before it closed...

"Ooh!"

"Welcome aboard the Hootenanny Mammy,Captain Flablicker."

One of the ship's personel greeted her...

"Is my crew on board?"

"Yes."

"Then detach the ship,Honey!" She shouted as she headed to the turbo lifts...

"Ah,Captain Flablicker. Welcome aboard."

Said the temporary captain as Captain Flablicker ran on to the bridge...

"Fuck that formality shit! Get us the fuck out of here! The Fortrexa is going to explode!"

With great haste the Hootenanny Mammy distance itself from the globe,flying off to meet up with the others.
As the Turdbots encroached on the globe,it exploded.Destroying a large number of Turdbots with it.


COSMA MUFFALETTA:
TIME TO STRIKE:

Captain Clucky E. Picante was greeted by his crew when he boarded the Cosma Muffaletta. His first officer
ISABELLA FONDUE (FiFi Bee Bee's daughter),science officer MAKIMEE MAKIMOOMOO (Cookamungian),security officer KABOOMA (Boo Boo),
communications officer CARLOTTA CA CA AH (Tunakian),medical officer DR.TASTY CRUMBCAKES (Fatty Crumbcakes' son),and chief
engineer TOOTATA TING TING (Clausin)...

"Officers Fondue,Makimoomoo,Kabooma,and Dr.Crumbcakes come into my conference room."

The four officers walked into the next room,and sat down with Captain Picante at the conference table...

"I called you all in here,because we have a special guest aboard...LADY TUNA."

"Lady Tuna? I thought she died sometime back in the 1980s?" Isabella thought...

"No. She is very much alive." Captain Picante told them...

"Why is she here,captain?" Kabooma questioned...

"It seems she ate the contents of one of those Turdbots,and now she is infected with the same nano meaties
that re-animated them. Betty Boo Boo believes that we could obtain a way to stop the Turdbots with Lady Tuna's crap. I've
volunteered us to do the task of isolating her shit,and harvest the nano meaties in it to see if we can create anti meaties
to neutralized the Turdbots."

"I haven't had any experience with nano meaties,captain." Prof.Makimoomoo told him...

"We have a group of scientists onboard to help you,Professor Makimoomoo."

"Will I be assisting the professor?" Dr.Crumbcakes asked...


© Copyright 2018 Joseph Small. All rights reserved.

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