Roar Of The Tuna (Continued)

Roar Of The Tuna (Continued)

Status: Finished

Genre: Humor

Details

Status: Finished

Genre: Humor

Summary

The evil Lady Tuna declares war on the galaxy of Funkoo.

Summary

The evil Lady Tuna declares war on the galaxy of Funkoo.

Content

Submitted: September 26, 2012

A A A | A A A

Content

Submitted: September 26, 2012

A A A

A A A






"Don't be alarmed,but I'm picking up a signal from Dookyroid-X."

"Eh,how is that possible?!"

"Beats the shit out of me!"

"Eh,quickly 2T2! Into the Dookyroid Field!"

"The Dookyroid Field?! Ooooh!!!" Panicked Princess Coo Coo. The Pelican was being bombarded with
both hard & soft shit,as it was being chased,and fired upon by Hubba Dula...

"Ooooh!!! There's dooky,dooky everywhere!"

Princess Coo Coo screamed as the ship's windows were covered in doo doo. The Pelican burned out
when it was hit by a laserblast at the back of the ship. It drifted on the edge of the Dookyroid Field...

"Well,that's it! The Pelican is dead! Game over!"

"Eh,here 2T2? Help me peel Princess Coo Coo off the floor,and prop her up in this chair."

Hubba Dula's ship was moving in on the Pelican...

"I've got you now,Mr.Beaner!...What the?...AAAAAAAH!!!!"

Something huge overshadowed the two ships. It opened fire on Hubba Dula,and destroyed him...

"Eh,look 2T2?! Could it be?"

"HOLY SHIT!"

"Eh,it is! It's the Fortrexa! It's come to save us! OH,GLEE FOR ME!"

The Fortrexa activated it's tractor beam,and pulled the Pelican to safety.

THE TUNA STAR:
LADY TUNA DECLARES WAR:

When Captain Nornoola & Hubba Dula failed to give her the one thing she desired, Lady Tuna decided
to take matters into her own hands by preparing her fleet of starships for battle...

"Commander,it's time we stop all this happy shit! No more Miss Goody Goody! Set a coarse for the
Boo Boo Cluster,so I may have my final battle with the Fortrexa! With my forces I shall blow it,and them the fuck out of the
galaxy! Ready,or not Mr.Beaner! Here I come! Tee,hee,hee!"


THE BOO BOO CLUSTER:
THE FATE OF FUNKOO:

A few days had passed when Coo Coo Command received word that the Tunakian Empire were on their way
to the Boo Boo Cluster to wage war on the galaxy of Funkoo. Now every Coo Coo,Cumbus,and Clausin have banded together to
bring down Lady Tuna's reign of terror once,and for all.


THE FORTREXA:
THE GREAT COO COO CONFERENCE:

Mr.Beaner stood in front of the podium,but no one was listening...

"Eh,now please settle down!" Mr.Beaner pleaded...

"Get your hand off my thigh,Honey!" Captain Flablicker scorned Herbert Hinzburgh...

"Oh,me sorry!" Herbert apologized to her...

"Eh,what's going on down there?" Mr.Beaner was getting upset. Everyone was out of control.Captain
Flablicker got up to the podium...

"EVERYBODY SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!"

She screamed into the microphone. Everyone got quiet,except for one man who said "Excuse me,damn!".
Captain Flablicker continued...

"No excuse about it,Honey! We have got to listen to Mr.Beaner,before that Bitch Lady Tuna shows up!
Go ahead,Honey."
"Eh,thank you Captain Flablicker."

"You're welcome,Honey."

"Eh,we must find a way to destroy the massive Tuna Star before Lady Tuna uses it against us,and
takes over Funkoo."
"But,why?" A confused Herbert asked...

"Because if we don't it'll mean lust,and filthy sex for the rest of our funky lives."

"Oh."

A bright light filled the conference room when the doors opened up."Oohs!" & "Aahs!" where heard
all over the room as everyone looked in the doorway with astonishment at who was standing there...It was BETTY BOO BOO in a
heroic stance. She wore white go go boots,while her white cape & orange hair blew lightly in the breeze. Her signature red,
yellow,and blue Boo Boos shined like buffed crystal globes...

"Eh,Betty Boo Boo?!" Mr.Beaner shouted...

"Yes,it is I,the legendary Betty Boo Boo,and I have come here to fight Lady Tuna's evil empire."

Betty Boo Boo declared...

"Oh,how corny!" Herbert replied.

THE TUNA STAR:
CHAKNEE'S CONFRONTATION:

Lady Tuna was using a vibrating dildo on herself when Chaknee entered the room...

"Your Royal Slutness,I must have a word with you about this attack?"

"Chaknee, why did you rush in here like that without notification? You know I was doing the naughty
in here?"
"Since when have you been so modest?"

"Nevermind that,Chaknee! What about the attack?"

"Don't you think that it's a bit over the top to declare war on the galaxy of Funkoo,just because
you can't have some old man like Mr.Beaner?"

"No Chaknee,I don't! It has come apparent to me that this war is something that you don't like?"

"No,I don't like!"

"Well,tough turds! Let me tell you something,Chaknee! Mr.Beaner is very well hung for a old coot,
and the only man that ever satisfied my hungry,hungry pussy! When he left me for that Bitch Wilhelmina there was a empty void
between my legs that nothing could fulfill,and I will destroy a thousand star systems to have him inside me again! Is that
fuckin' clear?!"
"Perfectly! I see you made your choice!" Chaknee told her as he left the room.

THE FORTREXA:
MR.BEANER'S NEW PARTNER:

Mr.Beaner was waiting outside his ship,wondering where 2T2 was when Captain Flablicker came up to
him...
"Here,Honey." She said,handing him a note...

"Eh,what's this?"

"It's a note from that asshole robot you hang around with."

Mr.Beaner opened the note,and began to read it...

"DEAR MR.BEANER:
I DON'T THINK WE HAVE A CHANCE IN DEFEATING
LADY TUNA,SO I DECIDED TO RUN OFF WITH
PRINCESS COO COO,AND HAVE HOT ROBO-SEX WITH
HER BEFORE OUR DOOM.
HUGS & KISSES,
2T2"

Mr.Beaner was filled with dread...

"What am I gonna do now? I need a co-pilot to handle the weapons,as I navigate the ship!"

"Don't worry,Honey. We provided you with a replacement."

"Eh,you did?"

"Oh,yeahs! He's in your ship right now."

"Oh, thank you Captain Flablicker."

"Good luck,Honey. You're gonna need it. Ooh!"

"Hmm! I wonder what she meant by that? Oh,well. I'll go inside the ship to see who it is."

Mr.Beaner thought to himself as he walked up the ramp to the Pelican. As he entered the ship,he
could hear what sounded like someone chewing & smacking on something tasty. He turned around to look in the cockpit to see
someone that disturbed him deeply. In the cockpit,eating chocolate pudding was...HERBERT HINZBURGH...

"Eh,oh no! It can't be! Not him?!" Mr.Beaner gasped in misery...

"Hi!" Herbert shouted to Mr.Beaner,as he continued to eat his pudding...

"Eh,why me?! Of all the tingays in this universe, I end up with the worst shit!"

"Oh,me don't know?" Herbert responded...

"Eh,look at what you did? You got pudding all over the console!"

"Oh,me sorry."


THE BOO BOO CLUSTER:
THE PENETRATION OF LADY TUNA:

"RED ALERT!RED ALERT! THE TUNAKIANS HAVE ENTERED THE BOO BOO CLUSTER!" The alarm sounded.
Captain Flablicker appeared on all the video monitors...

"This is it,Honey! Everybody to their starships,and launch! That nasty Lady Tuna is on our
doorstep!" She alerted everyone...

"Eh,strap yourself in,Herbert! Here we go! Oooh!!!" Mr.Beaner grabbed the controls...

"WAH!" Herbert shouted,as his funky head went back. Starships,Boo Boos,Bee Bee fighters,and the
Fortrexa flew towards the Tuna Star in battle formation. Lady Tuna viewed the ships coming towards her on the video monitor.
She wasn't impressed...

"What's this shit coming at us? Am I supposed to be frightened? Alert battle stations,and tell
them not to attack that floating toilet. Mr.Beaner is on that ship,and I want him alive." Lady Tuna instructed...

"Yes,my queen."

IN COO COO SPACE FORMATION:

When the fleet continued to move closer to the Tuna Star,everyone sounded off...

"This is the Fortrexa standing by,Honey!"

"Betty Boo Boo standing by!"

"The Barboofa standing by!"

"Eh,the Pelican standing by!"

"Bronco Bee Bee standing by! YEEE-HAW! MOTHERFUCKERS!"

"READY,SET,ATTACK!!!" Betty Boo Boo screamed.


COO COO ATTACK ALPHA:

The Coo Coo,Cumbus,Clausins began their attack on the Tunakians.Lady Tuna wasn't phased by it,and
began to grow tired of them...

"Some war? No blood or guts! This so called attack is boring the shit out of me! Controller,target
the Fortrexa,and open fire!"

The Tuna Star blasted away a few of the dookyroid panels on the Fortrexa.Captain Flablicker,and her
crew were shakened up,and thrown to one side of the bridge. Chaos & screaming erupted on the Fortrexa...

"We are being hailed by Lady Tuna,Captain Flablicker!"

"Put it on the screen,Honey!"

Lady Tuna appears on the video screen...

"Ah,Captain Flablicker. As you can see you are no match for the Tuna Star. For the safety of your
crew,and yourself. I suggest you surrender the Fortrexa,and Mr.Beaner to me."

"Go fuck yourself,Honey! If you think I'm gonna surrender this station to some no good,ugly ass
whore with bad breath,and saggy titties like yourself?! You better think again,Honey!"

"How dare you speak to me that way,Hussy! Just for that outburst,when you are captured, I shall
personally eat out your poop chute with a dixie cup spoon!"

"I'd rather have cream cheese on my nipples,and die,Honey!"

"That can be arranged! Controller,target that Bitch again,and fire!"

"Oooh!!!"

The Tuna Star fired again on the Fortrexa. Captain Flablicker was freaking out as explosions went
off around the station...
"Damage report,Honey!"

"Decks two & four report severe diarhea,and someone dropped a cake on the floor on deck five!"

"Oh,I hope they didn't hit the health spa?!"

Another explosion went off in the background...

"They just hit the health spa!" Someone informed Captain Flablicker...

"SHIT! Oh,Mr.Beaner where are you?!"

THE PELICAN:

Mr.Beaner flew the Pelican into the fleet of Tunakian battle Boo Boos with great difficulty.
Herbert didn't help matters as he continued to eat his pudding instead of firing the lasers...

"Eh,here! Give me that pudding! How can you eat at a time like this?!"

"Oh,me sorry."

"Eh,sorry nothing! You're supposed to be firing at the Tunakians! Oh,I wish 2T2 was here!"

THE TUNA STAR:
A FLY IN THE WEB:

Lady Tuna sees the Pelican on the screen...

"There he is! Activate the tractor beam!"

"Activated,my queen."

The Pelican is caught in the Tuna Star tractor beam. Lady Tuna is quite pleased...

"Oh,goody! I've got you now,Mr.Beaner! Tee,hee,hee!"

"Your Highness,I've gotten word from one of the lower decks that Sammymede has jettisoned off the
Tuna Star in one of the escape pods." One of the commanders told her...

"Huh? I wonder why he did that? He usually isn't afraid of shit like this? Hmmm? Well,anyway open
a channel to Mr.Beaner. I would like to place a booty call to my former lover.Tee,hee,hee!"

"Hailing the Pelican,my queen."

THE PELICAN:

"Eh,Herbert,I need to go in the back to see if I can re-configure the meatie array,so we can break
free of the tractor beam. I need you to distract Lady Tuna."

"Oh,okay."

Lady Tuna appears on the monitor,but all she sees is Herbert sitting there with chocolate pudding
on his face...
"Who the fuck are you,Puddin'Head?" She rudely asked...

"Me,Herbert." He responded...

"Where's Mr.Beaner?"

"Me don't know."

"You don't know?"

"No,me don't know."

"Really? Hmmm?"

"Uh,huh. He's in the potty taking a doo doo."

"Tee,hee,hee! He is? Probably has plenty of bran in his diet,or he's so scared he shit himself.
Tee,hee,hee!" She confided to her crew...

"Your hair puffs are pretty & fluffy. I like."  Herbert complimented her...

"You do? Well,thank you. Aren't you sweet? Perhaps when you are captured I won't have you killed,
but make you my court jester instead. Tee,hee,hee!"

"Oh,okay."

"Tee,hee,hee! Do you like?"

"Yes,I like!"

"Tee,hee,hee! Oh,he's so funny,and cute as a bug!"

Lady Tuna jumped,and turned around when she heard weapons firing in the back corridor behind her...

"What the fuck is that?! Who's firing weapons?!"

A startled Lady Tuna wondered. Out of the shadows & smoke emerged Chaknee with a laser rifle,and a
detonation device...

"Chaknee? What the fuck are you doing?"

"Stopping you from making a big boo boo! For the sake of Tunakia,you must power down,and surrender
to Coo Coo Command!"
"And if I refuse,Chaknee?"

"Then you leave me no choice,but to destroy the Tuna Star,and everyone on it,including myself!"

"Is that so?"

"Yes,yes it is!"

"Uh,huh."

Lady Tuna pulled out her laser pistol,and pointed it at Chaknee...

"I don't think you have the balls to do such a thing,Chaknee! Tee,hee,hee!"

Chaknee blasted one of the control panels,releasing the Pelican from the tractor beam.He then
pointed the rifle at Lady Tuna,and burned off one of her hair puffs...

"Oh,you fuckin little bastard!"

Lady Tuna shouted.She started shooting at Chaknee who ran up the metal stairs to the gridded
catwalks above the bridge...

"Come down here,and give me that fuckin' detonator,Chaknee!"

"Never! You evil slut!"

Chaknee went over to one of the computer systems,and released the captive Bee Bees. He was unaware
that Lady Tuna had a clear shot of him from below.She squeezed the trigger,and zapped Chaknee in the back...

"OOOOOH!!!!"

Chaknee screamed as he fell onto the catwalk...

"You stupid Queer Bitch! See watcha made me do?!"

Lady Tuna shouted at her dying servant.She was about to climb the stairs to get the detonator when
the bridge was overtaken by thousands of angry,vengeful Bee Bees attacking her crew...

"Get the fuck away from me!"

Lady Tuna screamed as she blasted away the Bee Bees. There were far too many for her to kill,and
they got ahold of her.The Bee Bees were all over Lady Tuna,beating,biting,kicking,scratching,grabbing,and pulling at her like
little maniacs...
"Get off me you little fuckers! AAAAH!!!"

Under his dying breath,Chaknee pushed the red button on the detonator,and destroyed the Tuna Star
in a explosion of confetti,glitter,and multi colored marshmellow puffs. Lady Tuna,and her reign of terror & sex were dead.
All the Coo Coo,Cumbus,Clausins cheered as the remainder of the Tunakian Boo Boos withdrew,and headed back to Tunakia...

"Eh,oh goody! Lady Tuna is dead!" Mr.Beaner shouted in bliss.A Boo Boo made out of pink transparent
meaties materialized out of nowhere. It was Princess Coo Coo's personal luxury Boo Boo. She sent out a broadcast to all the
starships...
"HELLO,THIS IS PRINCESS COO COO.I WANT TO THANK ALL OF YOU FOR YOUR HARD WORK & SACRIFICE FOR
TAKING OUT THAT PSYCHOTIC WHORE LADY TUNA.NOW WITH HER DEATH BEHIND US,WE CAN MOVE AHEAD WITH OUR COO COO LIVES OF BLISS &
GLEE."
More cheers & applause followed after everyone received Princess Coo Coo's message.
On the Fortrexa,Captain Flablicker sighed,and patted the sweat off her chest.On the Pelican,Herbert resumed eating his
pudding,as Mr.Beaner was doing flips & somersaults in the background,and Princess Coo Coo & 2T2 snuggled inside a heart
shaped cut out. At last Funkoo was at peace.


THE END











 


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