Lady Tuna"s Unfinished Business

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksiesilk Classic Group

Lady Tuna promotes Sammymede's new female hygiene product in
a bizarre infomercial that is out of this universe.


Written By
Joseph A. Small

TUNAKIA: Lady Tuna's Palace...

Lady Tuna's assistant Chaknee walks down the corridor to Carla's bed chamber.
He stops at the draped entrance way and pulls the rope that hangs from the ceiling,
as he does this a loud GONG is heard...

"Enter!" A gruffed voice commands inside.Chaknee moves the drapes aside and
walks in...

"What is it,Chaknee?"

"Tunakian Central Intellegence has reported..."

"Where's Nornoola? He usually informs me on such matters."

"Yes,well it seems the man you left in charge of your Defenses got into
the prune danish again last night and is now dropping bombs in the royal can."

"I see.I just hope he doesn't stink up the place like he did last time."

"I'll inform Sammi Mede to fumigate the area after Nornoola has done his dirty

Chaknee glares at Lady Tuna's crotch.He notices something different about it...

"What is it,Chaknee? Do you like what you see? Huh? Do you like?"

"No! I don't like! It's your vaginal lips?They're not hanging down and dragging
on the floor like a couple of tassels.Did you have surgery?"

"No I did not have surgery done. As you know after getting my Cha Cha plowed so
many times over the years left me worn out like an old sock.But thanks to Sammi Mede's
supreme engineering in meatie compounds & coo coo chemistry,he has developed an industrial
strength douche for me to use on myself.It has extremely shrunken the vaginal tissues of
my Woo Hoo,making it tighter than a virgin."


"You think that is impressive,watch what my vaginal muscles can do?"

Lady Tuna pulls out a jar of mayonnaise from the side of her bed,and lifts up her
skirt.She sticks the jar up in her crotch,and snuggly penetrates her vagina with the jar's
lid.With a quick,sharp twist she whisks it off.Chaknee looks on in shock as the lid hits
the floor,and rolls across the room...

"I'm speechless."

"I'm not done,yet."

"There's more?!Oh,no?"

"Hand me that plate of sweet & sour Porkenese Meaties,and line up those three
vases on my mantle."

Chaknee walks over to Lady Tuna and hands her the plate.He then walks over to the
mantle,and lines up the vases as she instructed.Lady Tuna plucks one of the sticky meaties
and rolls it around in her fingers like a booger ball.Making a face of wild glee,she then
inserts it into her Hootchy Yum Yum.She lifts her legs up once again towards the mantle,
building up pressure to her vaginal walls until her pussy is puckered.Lady Tuna then shoots
out the meatie out of her crotch,and propels it across the room until it hits one of the
vases.It smashes it into pieces.She repeats this two more times until all three vases are
destroyed.Chaknee applauses her with a nervous look over his face...

"Truly remarkable,my Queen!"

"And now for my last demonstration,Chaknee,get a good whiff of this!"

Lady Tuna lifts her whole body up,rising her crotch until it is aligned with Chaknee's
head.With all of her might she blows a massive pussy fart in Chaknee's face. A look of
surprise comes over him...

"WOW!I say,how refreshing!It no longer smells.The usual stench of spoiled fish,
garbage,and butt rot are gone."


"MMMMM!Is that a hint of Jasmine I smell?"

"Yes.It's part of Sammi Mede's new line of botanical douche products."

"You know,that little Riff Raff could make a shit load of cash with this? You should
make a business proposal,and finance his products.The profits you make from this could help to
rebuild and upgrade your intergalactic forces."

"Yes,you're right!Despite being a naughty little girl over the years,there are no
sanctions against the Tunakian markets,especially in the field of space exports. You know
Chakmee,you're pretty smart for a Fag."

"Thank you,my Queen."

"There is one set back that needs to be corrected though."

"Oh,and what is that?"


Lady Tuna grabs a lighted candle,and puts it near her crotch.Fire starts shooting out of
her pussy like a flame thrower,she then slips out a fart that creates a fireball that blows out
the palace windows of her bed chamber.Chaknee runs out of the room smoldering,and covered in
soot.He grabs one of the guards...

"Quick!Get a fire extinguisher!Lady Tuna has a real BUSH fire brewing in her bedroom!"

Two of Lady Tuna's guards rush into her bed chamber,but the fire went out.There's a large
smoldering hole where the windows used to be,a large fondue pot has tipped over,spilling melted
orange cheese all over the floor.Chaknee re-enters the room...

"Are you alright,mistress?"

"Yes,yes!Stop your fussin'.All I did was scorch my skirt,and singed off my pubic hair."


"Oh,well.I guess I wont be needing Sammi Mede's hair removal wax anytime soon.Tee,hee,hee..."

Lady Tuna holds up a small box of'SAMMI MEDE'S HAIR REMOVAL WAX'like she's filming a
commercial.She smiles,and starts to giggle.


Submitted: September 27, 2012

© Copyright 2022 Joseph Small. All rights reserved.

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