Captain Tuna Forever (Continued)

Captain Tuna Forever (Continued)

Status: Finished

Genre: Humor


Status: Finished

Genre: Humor


Captain Tuna's naughty tale continues...


Captain Tuna's naughty tale continues...


Submitted: September 27, 2012

A A A | A A A


Submitted: September 27, 2012



"What just hit the ship?! I told you idiots to stay out of the Dookyroid Field!"

Captain Tuna scorned her crew...

"It wasn't Dookyroids! We are being attacked by that Boo Boo!"

Dee Dee CaCa informed her...

"Well,open fire on those fuckers!" Captain Tuna commanded. The Bootanna,and the
Cartoona began to exchange laser fire. Blasting away parts of each other's ships...

"Captain Flablicker,I don't know how much we can withstand from that Tunakian ship!"

"Try locating their weapons array,and take them out,Honey!"


The Cartoona continued to blast,until they knocked out Captain Tuna's weapons...

"Captain Tuna,there's severe damage to our lasers! We can't fight back!"


"We are being hailed by Captain Flablicker of the Cartoona."

"What? That Bitch with the big boobs,again? Open a channel!"

Captain Flablicker appears on the video screen...

"Whatcha want,Hussy!" Captain Tuna asked...

"I demand you release Mr.Beaner into my custody,so that I can beat the shit out
of him,Honey!"
"And,if I don't?"

"You'll find out soon enough,if his wrinkled old ass ain't over here!"

"Captain Flablicker,despite the grim situation you have put me in.I plan to keep
Mr.Beaner,and his robot here as my guests!"
"Listen,you ugly ass slut! You better pray that I don't get my hands on you too,
cuz it's gonna be a good old fashioned ass beating time for all you motherfuckers,Honey!"

"As much fun as that sounds. I just don't have the time. Sammymede,activate the
Sammymede switched on the devices. The tri-meatie boo boo matrix in the center of
the Quantum Hyper Meatie Excellorator was pulsating coo coo crazy.Everything began to vibrate in waves.Captain Tuna faced the
video camera that was transmitting a signal to the Cartoona...

"Good bye,Captain Flablicker! Maybe next time we'll get to frolic together,and
the privilege of having my face between those two bodacious boobs of yours! Tee,hee,hee!"

Captain Tuna giggled as her face began to morph & stretch on screen. The Bootanna
stretched back,and snapped forward like it was in a slingshot.Traveling ultra coo coo fast to the outer edge of the system,
and leaving the Cartoona miles behind spinning out of control...

"Ooh! Ya,man,ya! What a fuckin' rush!"

Captain Tuna shouted as she jiggled like gelatin to a thousand strobelights.Just
as they were about to reach thier destination,the Quantum Hyper Meatie Excellorator overloaded.It caused the tri-meatie boo
boo matrix to burst like a balloon,sending a loud shockwave roaring down the corridor.The Bootanna came to a complete halt...

"What the fuck happened?! Why did we stop?!"

"Captain Tuna,Sammymede is on the intercom?" Dee Dee CaCa informed her.

Captain Tuna pushed the intercom button...

"What happened,Sammymede? Are we outside the system?"

"Almost. I'm sorry to inform you that the device has burned out,Captain Tuna."

"Gee,Sammymede. The only way I could describe it,is that it felt like someone had
yanked my vibrator out of my pussy,before I had a chance to climax."

"Again, my deepest apologies. The worst part is that I don't know if I can fix it.
It could take us a year to get back to Funkoo."

"Oh,fuckin' shit on a stick!" Captain Tuna responded.


Mr.Beaner & 2T2  were being held in the dome shaped conservatory on top of the

"Eh,I wonder where we are,2T2?"

"You mean on the ship,or the section of space the ship is in?"


"As far as the ship goes,we are locked inside some sort of solarium on top of the
ship.As for outer space,I don't recognize any of the stars,or planets.At least not from this angle."


A large flat screen video monitor automatically lowers down with Captain Tuna
appearing on it with a basket of muffins...
"Hi,Mr.Beaner! How ya doin'?" Captain Tuna asked...

"Eh,well I was doing okay,until your ugly,smelly face appeared!"

Mr.Beaner shouted at the screen,2T2 snickered at the remark...

"One more snicker out of you,2T2,and I'll use you as my personal chamber pot!"

Captain Tuna warned him...


"Eh,that looks like a basket of FiFi's muffins?" Mr.Beaner wondered...

"Why,yeahs! Yes they are! According to FiFi's autobiography 'The FiFi In Me',they
are the same muffins she offered you to taste thirty years ago,and what did you do to her,Mr.Beaner? Huh?"

"Eh?...I slapped her."

"Oh,yeahs! Yes you did,right before the late Hubba Dula kidnapped her.Leaving you
to pine for her to come back all these years. I suppose you would like one now?"

Captain Tuna teased...


"Well,you can't have one,cuz they're mine,all mine! I'm gonna eat them,taste them,
sniff them,nibble on them,and love every one of them right down to the last crumb!"


"Oh,yeahs,Mr.Beaner! Oh,yeahs!"

Fatty Crumbcakes appears in the background on the monitor...

"Hey,Fatty? Come over here,and have some tasty muffins?"

"OKAY!" Fatty responded with a loud gargled,excited voice. She then plopped herself
next to Captain Tuna,and began munching on the muffins with great gusto...

"Do you like,Fatty?! Do you like?!" A sexually excited Captain Tuna asked,as she
started feeling Fatty up,and kissing her neck...


Fatty moaned wildly as she continued popping muffins in her mouth.Mr.Beaner's
anger & rage was building up inside him.He was about to explode...


Mr.Beaner shouted as he picked up a plant,and threw it at the video screen.
Sparks came out of it,as it crashed to the floor.Smashing it to pieces...

"Whoa! Calm down!" 2T2 pleaded to him...

"Eh,I can't help it! We gotta get out of here!"

"I don't know how.I hate to admit defeat,but it looks like that rotten Cunt,has
got us by the balls."

"Eh,we might as well give it up,2T2! Game over!"


A few hours later,Dawnypoo Bitchyface noticed some shifting of the stars on the
monitor.Jeaneetee Hoostydia came over to investigate...

"Ooh,what is it,Dawnypoo?" Jeaneetee asked...

"I think there's a invisible planet out there."

"Ooh,we better tell Captain Tuna before she spanks us?"

"I agree. Dee Dee CaCa,ask Captain Tuna to come to the bridge."

Captain Tuna was laying down naked with Fatty Crumbcakes when her intercom beeped.
She crawled over Fatty's naked body,and pushed the button...

"What the fuck is it now? Can't you assholes handle anything yourselves?"

"Sorry,captain,but we have located a cloaked planet.We need you to come up here,
and take a look at it."
"I'm coming! Inform Sammymede to drop whatever he's doing,and meet me there."


"Hmmm? If it is a planet,I wonder if the people there like fruit salad orgies?"

Captain Tuna thought to herself.


Captain Tuna arrived on the bridge...

"So,this is the planet you got me out of bed for?"


"What did you find out about it?"

"Nothing.Our sensors keep bouncing off the surface,and reflected back to us."

"Take us down to the planet's surface." Captain Tuna commanded...

"Captain,we could be destroyed if we land on it.For all we know it could be a
flaming ball of gas."
"I don't care if that thing is filled with hot piss! I didn't come all this way
just to float around in space like a frozen turd! Now prepare to land!"

As the Bootanna flew down to the planet.Captain Tuna,and her crew could see the
reflection of thier ship as they penetrated the mirrored surface.When they came through to the other side,they were surprised
at what they discovered...A tropical paradise...

"Oh,look at that? I wonder if they're Bee Bees on this planet?"

"Our sensors don't detect any,Captain."


"But it has breathable air,and normal levels of life sustaining Eroshina."

"Oh,goody! I plan to make this planet my private Tunatopia."

Captain Tuna shrilled with glee.When they found a clearing,and landed.They headed
out to explore the planet.Mr.Beaner & 2T2 watched them leave from the conservatory...

"Eh,oh no! They took FiFi with them!" Mr.Beaner worried...

"I believe I can open the dome,and free us."

2T2 told him as he floated over to the console,and pushed a button...

"Why didn't you do that before?"

"Because we were in outer space before? Duh!"

"Eh,nevermind! Let's get the fook out of here!"

Mr.Beaner held on to 2T2,as they floated out of the dome,and landed on the ground
next to the ship.As they ran up the ramp to the entrance,the ship was deserted...

"I can't believe they just left the ship unguarded.How dumb can they be?"

2T2 wondered...

"Eh,well they are taking orders from that nasty Lady Tuna after all."

"We got to free the Pelican from the side of the ship.It's our only hope of getting
the upper hand."
"Eh,let's go!"


Captain Tuna led her crew through the jungle when suddenly nature called...

"Uh,oh! Me have to go take a dookie!"

She told her crew as she let out a fart. A few giggles could be heard from her crew
as she ran behind a bush to pinch one off. The crew started to laugh out loud when they could hear her shitting...

"Captain,I think we forgot the toilet paper!" Sammymede informed her...

"Oh,that's okay Sammymede! I have some big leaves here to wipe me hinny with!"

"As she grabbed some leaves from a bush,Captain Tuna noticed a woman standing in
front of her.She had blonde hair,blue eyes,and pale skin. It was the goddess KATHEELA...

"How dare you contaminate this sacred planet with your impurity!"

Katheela scorned Captain Tuna who was squating while looking up at her...

"Uh,oh! Me did a bad thing!"

Katheela raised her arms up to the sky as dark clouds rolled in.Strong winds whipped
up followed by the roar of thunder & lightning. Captain Tuna got up,and ran off when lightning zapped her pile of poop.
Sammymede could see her running towards him...

"What's wrong,Captain Tuna?"

"I pissed off a fuckin' goddess is what's wrong!"

Everyone ran when Katheela came out of the bushes. They tried to run back to the
Bootanna,but the Pelican landed in front of them,and cut them off.Mr.Beaner & 2T2 ran down the ramp armed with laser rifles...

"Eh,hold it right there,Lady Tuna!"

"How many fuckin' times do I have to tell you,you senile old Fuck?! It's Captain
Tuna! Now get the fuck out of my way!"
"Eh,not until you free FiFi!"

Captain Tuna grabbed FiFi by the arm,and shoved her into Mr.Beaner...

"Here! Take the Bitch! I just wanna get the fuck out of here!"

"HALT!" The goddess Katheela commanded.Everyone froze in their tracks...

"You'll all be punished for what you have done!" Katheela threatened...

"Eh,punished? Lady Tuna brought me,FiFi,and 2T2 against our meaties!"

Mr.Beaner told Katheela...

"Is this true,Lady Tuna?" Katheela asked...

"It's Captain Tuna,Bitch!...Oops!"

"I've heard enough!" Katheela told them,just before red lasers shot out of her eyes.
She turned Captain Tuna,Sammymede,and the Booty Hunters into fruit filled pies...

"Eh,goodness gracious!" Mr.Beaner shouted...

"Mr.Beaner,you & your friends gather up these pies,and get inside your ship. I'm
sending you back home. You must never come back to this planet again,if you do I won't be merciful next time."

Katheela warned him...

"Eh,okay. Come on FiFi & 2T2. Let's grab these pies,and go home."

The goddess Katheela sent the Pelican back home.


Mr.Beaner had awakened to what sounded like pie tins clanking in his kitchenette.
He got up to investigate...
"What the fuck is that?"

2T2 asked when he ran into Mr.Beaner in the corridor...

"Eh,I don't know."

When they arrived at the kitchenette they could not believe their eyes. Herbert
Hinzburgh was sitting in the middle of the floor,gorging on the pies...

"Holy Shit!" 2T2 said in shock...

"Eh,Herbert! You naughty man! What have you done?!" Mr.Beaner demanded to know...

"Uh,me came in,and me was hungry,so me ate pie." Herbert told them with fruit pie
filling on his face...
"Eh,Herbert those weren't real pies! You just ate Lady Tuna,and her Booty Hunters!"


Herbert cried out just before vomiting on the floor.


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