Intimate Examination

Intimate Examination Intimate Examination

Status: In Progress

Genre: Non-Fiction

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Status: In Progress

Genre: Non-Fiction

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Summary

Stripped and examined by lady doctor.

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Summary

Stripped and examined by lady doctor.

Content

Submitted: July 31, 2020

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Content

Submitted: July 31, 2020

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I was working for a company where you had to have a medical exam every year.  Not that it was exactly compulsory, but it was expected.  So, off I go, and it's all very straightforward.  There's a questionnaire about the usual lifestyle things, diet, exercise, alcohol, you know what I mean.  And a list of instructions.  Undress down to your underwear, put on the robe, wait to be called by the nurse.

All very straightforward except...

"Oh," said the receptionist, "you've got a lady doctor.  You don't mind, do you?"

"Not at all," I replied.  Oh well...  I think 'Lady Doctor' is such a polite expression, don't you?  Stern middle age lady in a tweed skirt.

Anyway, after completing the questionnaire a girl in a white nurse’s uniform did loads of tests, hearing, eyesight, ECG, that thing where you blow in a tube...  You know the sort of thing.

Then, "Lie down on the bed and wait for the doctor..."

The doctor came in.  Stern middle aged lady in a tweed skirt, not a bit of it!  Looked about eighteen! Well, she did all the usual things, looked in my mouth, in my ears, listened to my chest, tapped my joints with a little rubber hammer...  You know...

Then...

"Right...  I should examine your genitalia..."

"My er..."

"Your genitals.  You know...  Your private parts...  Don't be shy...  It's very important."

"Well yes of course..."

"Good," she picked up the phone, "I'm just about to do the intimate examinations, I need a chaperone."

Of it wasn't embarrassing enough already I was going to be examined with an audience watching.  There was a knock on the door and the nurse walked in.  Oh heck!  She was the audience.

She draws the curtain across the bed.

"Get yourself ready," she says.

What am I supposed to do? They never explain do they?

Rather embarrassed I pulled my underpants down to my thighs..

Curtain drawn back.

"You have to stand up for it," she says.

So instead of pulling my pants back up and sending up, I try to get up with my pants round my knees.  I ..nearly fall over. Underpants fall to the ground and I feel a right fool.


"Oh...  Right," so there I am. Standing completely naked with pants round my ankles.

"Relax please, I'm just going to examine your testicles," she added, obviously feeling I was some sort of ignoramus.

Have you ever been taught how to examine your testicles?" 

"Er.. no...' It is a strange experience.

"Right," she says, though whether to me or the audience I'm not quite sure, "first we look to see how they are hanging. Oh, they look a bit tight, probably cold.  They should be warm and hanging freely."

"And now we examine each in turn.  Squeeze and pull.  Squeeze and pull.  Where did you go on your holidays this year."

They're probably taught to make small talk while they're squeezing you.

"Um...  Italy..."

"Oh lovely..."

"Ouch!"

"Sorry, a bit uncomfortable there?"

"Yes..."

"Not unexpected.  Yes, they're both hanging freely, no problems.  Italy you say, whereabouts?"

"Er... Florence."

"Lovely..."

I pull my underpants back up.

"No problem.  All quite um...  yes... normal.  Now can you just lie on your side and draw your knees up, I need to examine your anus and put a finger up your bottom."

All very run of the mill for her.  I suppose she puts her finger up fifty bottoms a week.

I pull my underpants back down and do as I'm told

"Anus normal...  Oh gosh...  Look at that..." she says to the nurse, "he's got a skin tag just to the side of his anus."

I knew I had a skin tag there.  What I didn't want to do was explain how I got it!

"Do you know how you got it?" she asks.

Oh no!  I was going to have to explain.

"Well," I said, and I could feel my face burning, "I was doing some soldering and I put the soldering iron down with the point vertical, resting on a stool, and I forgot it was there and..." The explanation came blurting out.

"You don't mean you sat on it. You got a red-hot soldering iron up your..."

"Well nearly..."

She could hardly disguise the laughter.

"I thought that only happened in Carry On films."

"It didn't go up.  It just missed."

"Lucky you!"

Not that lucky, I think it made everybody's day at the hospital.

"Well let's put a finger up then," said the doctor.

I felt the finger go in.

"Florence you say?  Was the weather nice?"

Have you ever had a conversation with somebody when they have their finger up your bottom?

It goes something like this.

"The weather...  Oooh!  It was...  Oh!...rather...  Oooh!  ...hot andOh oh oh oh!"

"Sorry."

"...humid.Oh my gosh!"

So that was it.  I'd had my testicles squeezed, my penis admired, my anus laughed at and my bottom thoroughly probed.  All clear till the next year when...

"Oh!  The man with the red-hot poker up his bum," the teenage receptionist remembered me.  Nobody forgets a story like that.


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