Hiawatha's Happy Ending

Hiawatha went a peeking

Went a peeking in the forest

By the shores of Gitche-Gumee

By the shining big-sea-water

There he spied young Minniehaha

Sitting on her bubby-chotty

Minniehaha pretty maiden

Minniehaha come for bathing

Hiawatha watched and waited

Longed to see her bubby-chotty

Biggest of the bubby-chotties

Found among the blushing maidens

Longed to see her tittle-litties

Fairest of the tittle-litties

Found among the blushing maidens

Longed to see her canny-funty

Nicest of the canny-funties

Found among the blushing maidens

Most of all did Hiawatha

Peer closely through the bushes

Just to see her canny-funty

So he watched while Minniehaha

Threw away her busty-binda

Folded up her nicky-panties

Stood beside the shining water

Standing in the nautie-noodie

Showing off her bubby-chotty

Showing off her tittle-litties

Showing off her canny-funty

Nicest of the canny-funties

Found among the blushing maidens

Hiawatha watched delighted

Reached inside his punder-anties

Grasped in hand his kikki-dokki

Every brave in every war band

Treats with care his kikki-dokki

Keeps well hid his kikki-dokki

Pride of every fighting war brave

As he spied her canny-funty

Hiawatha raised his kikki

Threw away his punder-anties

Standing in the nautie-noodie

Raised up high his kikki-dokki

Minniehaha saw him standing

Standing in the nautie-noodie

Holding tight his kikki-dokki

Even in the nautie-noodie

She with swiftness ran towards him

Laughing at his punder-anties

Laughing at his kikki-dokki

Smallest of the kikki-dokkis

Found among the fighting warbraves

Hiawatha started running

For he knew a fate uncommon

Would await his bubby-chotty

Should the swifter Minniehaha

Catch him by the big lob-lollies 

But the feet of Minniehaha

Fast outran poor Hiawatha

So she caught him by the kikki

Held him by the big lob-lollies

Called from far the other maidens

And all laughed at Hiawatha

Pointing at his kikki-dokki

Smallest of the kikki-dokkis

Found among the fighting warbraves

On her knee did Minniehaha

Place the war brave's bubby-chotty

And take up a whotty-bakker

Greatest of the whotty-bakkers

Found upon the Gitche-Gumee

And upon his bubby-chotty

She beat out a steady rhythm

Hard upon the bubby-chotty

Fell the best of whotty-bakkers

Found upon the Gitche-Gumee

And the cries of Hiawatha

Fell upon the ears of many

And they came to watch and chortle

At the sight of Minniehaha

Still dressed in the nautie-noodie

Wield the mighty whotty-bakker

And the war-brave's bubby-chotty

Was as red as maidens blushes

Was as pink as maidens bipples

Found upon a maidens noobies

So at at alst did Minniehaha

Tire of wielding whotty-bakker

Hard upon the bubby-chotty

And she called the other maidens

To display their tittle-litties

To display their canny-funties

And the war braves in the village

Raised on high their kikki-dokkis

Minniehaha chose a kikki

Greatest if the the kikki-dokkis

Found among the fighting war braves

And she took that kikki-dokki

Put it in her canny-funty

Biggest of the kikki-dokkis

Found among the fighting war-braves

Nicest of the canny-funties

Found among the blushing maidens

So she got a faggy-shucky

Right in front of Hiawatha

Laying down his kikki-dokki

Smallest of the kikki-dokkis

Found among the fighting war-braves

Rubbing hard his bubby-chotty

Reddest of the bubby-chotties

Found among the fighting war-braves

So at last did Hiawatha

Go once more into his tepee

Take in hand his kikki-dokki

And sitting on his bubby-chotty

Thought again of Minniehaha

Of her lovely tittle-litties

Of her lovely canny-funty

Holding high his kikki-dokki

Smallest of the kikki-dokkis

Found among the fighting war-braves

Hiawatha beat his kikki

In a rhythmic danky-woodle

Till at last as sun was setting

Hiawatha slept contented

Dreaming now of Minniehaha

Dreaming of her tittle-litties

Fairest of the tittle-litties

Found among the blushing maidens.

Glossary from the original tongue:

Hiawatha: first person singular reflexive of watha - to please. Literally 'He who pleasures himself'. The significance is not clear.

Minniehaha: she who laughs (haha) at a man’s little thing (Mini-). Possibly indicating a girl of pleasant disposition

Bubby-chotty: passive gerundive of chotta - to sit. Literally 'that which I sit upon' - possible some sort small stool, though later text suggests possibly a war drum.

Tittle-litties - great nourishing orbs. Some sort religious object possibly concerned with fertility of the land

Canny-funty - that which gives pleasure to men. The significance is not clear. Possibly some sort of primitive musical instrument, though later text suggests a box or container.

Busty-binda - Necessary support. Some kind of walking stick perhaps

Nicky-panties - this appears to mean 'that which covers my naughty bits'. The significance is unclear.

Nautie-noodie - the suit of my birthday. Clearly some ceremonial garb worn on special occasions.

Punder-anties – Appears to mean small trousers worn by fighting men?

Kikki-dokki – great symbol of manhood. It appears that all braves had one of these but they were normally only brought out on very special occasions.

Whotty-backer – That which beats hard upon the back side. A drum stick perhaps?

Faggy-shucky – A good time. Obviously some sort of game played by girls and boys.

Danky-woodle - ??polishing the prick - possibly he is cleaning up his arrow heads