Change (One)

Change (One) Change (One)

Status: In Progress

Genre: Romance

Houses:

Details

Status: In Progress

Genre: Romance

Houses:

Summary

Change is not always easy ... it seems:) This is the first of a series of short stories that hopefully flow together as one. So many on here write with wonderful visual depth! This is something I am working at and I appreciate many on here who have provided ... inspiration and encouragement.

Summary

Change is not always easy ... it seems:) This is the first of a series of short stories that hopefully flow together as one. So many on here write with wonderful visual depth! This is something I am working at and I appreciate many on here who have provided ... inspiration and encouragement.

Content

Submitted: February 26, 2016

A A A | A A A

Content

Submitted: February 26, 2016

A A A

A A A


 

He could feel a country road calling him. It was more a gut feeling than anything else. He sat in the middle of his room staring from one wall to the next and could feel a deep down desire within to just leave and find ... something new. As he closed the door behind him, he could feel his heart tighten up, anxious about what lay ahead. This was probably one of the hardest things he had ever done, to just finally step across this threshold of sort into a new person ... but he was resolved to do so because staying as the man he was ... was not a choice.

Choices were ahead. He had been trying to prepare himself mentally for this for years as well as preparation even in a professional sense. So much had happened over the past decade. He had gotten divorced and remarried and thought he was on his way to happiness and change. Well, he did find change and there was a certain amount of happiness that he enjoyed. Of late though, he felt still another change in how things had moved from that time when he felt he had finally started over.

It's interesting how life continues to offer up new things and how people sometimes lapse back into who they always were. He wondered if that was how it was with him. Was he just a man of constant discontent, never really happy or the same man he always was, but just looking for something he had never yet found. He figured he had come close, but close ... on the surface ... does not deal with the depth of change he truly needed.

As he sat there looking at the four walls that had become his cell of sorts, he also realized it wasn't all bad either. It was better than his previous choice although both had tremendous pros and cons. He decided not to dwell on what had been and how he had gotten to his present abode of choice. He just knew that change forces one to evaluate and make more choices. One can only express themselves so much as far as needs and wants and even desires. At some point, when those issues are not ... understood, it was time to find a way to fill the hollow parts that seemed to lay within his very being of who he wanted and needed to be.

As he arose from his chair, he realized he had ties of sorts, but not tremendously strong ones. There were very few in his family he felt really close to. Oh sure, he loved them as family loves family but as far as how he felt family should be when it came to closeness, he didn't feel that at all except to a certain extent with his brother. Even that was somewhat limited. The rest really never showed much interest in ANYTHING he was doing or had going on. They all had their lives and their interests and their personal circles that ... if he was interested, he could visit periodically. Funny how that felt. He felt like they were not interested in being a part of HIS life. It was HIS place to find HIS way into THEIR lives. After all the years, he decided this was not something he wanted to constantly be trying to do.

He was tired. Tired of living to please others. Tired of others expecting him to be who they thought he should be. The person he used to be had died a long time ago and this evolution of SELF had been running its course for a long time. Even the man who remarried was now a different man than the one SHE thought she had married because of so many issues that had come up and ... it just wasn't the same. To a certain extent, he had felt betrayed. He thought he had finally found what he was looking for but ... when change happens, even if it couldn't seem to be avoided, it didn't mean HE was willing to accept those things willingly or go down without fighting for what he had searched for for so long. It was almost as if that was ... expected. He felt that so much should have been a two-way street and worked on mutually as opposed to feeling like he was supposed to just ... fall in line and be content and ... deal with it! He had been dealing with many things for years.

Happiness comes in all shapes and sizes. He wanted to feel the depth of heat that loving someone totally brings and being loved back would bring .... That feeling of never being able to get enough of the other person. The desire to fall into each other's arms and make passionate love vs getting the sex over with. The desire to go to bed ... together ... even if it was just to have a little alone time together. The desire to be their priority over all others at times as opposed to feeling like .... an also. Just the thought of being wanted and desired and feeling like that was not really the case made his heart hurt. He could go on and on with the emotions that were deep within him but it wasn't necessary. He had been dealing with them for years. Oh sure! There were times when some of those emotions were there but he felt some were more manufactured than real because of ... outcome. The hand on the butt in the store did not lead to passion at home although it insinuated desire. These were mixed signals that he often received! He would get his hopes up that there was some sort of true need to be close but it was like once they crossed the threshold of the home, things … somehow changed! He wanted the passion and definitely NEEDED the passion that just didn't seem to be there anymore.

Maybe he was fooling himself. Perhaps in relationships, things always change. Maybe the fire cannot keep burning but ... as he thought about it, he felt it was truly possible to find such because of what his heart had been through. There were certain things that his heart had never felt before that it was experiencing at the moment. There was nothing he could do about it except realize the difference in how it felt now vs how it had ever felt before. He could not even bring himself to try to explore what had happened and why. He just knew that it was different! So he finally found himself closing the door behind him and thinking about what was ahead.

His heart really did hurt because he new the pain that lay ahead for those who truly cared about him and yes, they truly care should they ever truly discover his discontent. He new he was genuinely loved but their lack of understanding of him and this person who he had become was driving a wedge constantly deeper. He could not go on the way things were. He wanted to be able to be open in all things and just ... be himself. There were many things he desired and emotions he wanted to feel that he felt were being constantly suppressed deep within his being so as to maintain status quo. He gave up long ago trying to express what those were ... except via his computer and to certain ... friends. Some gave lip-service to understanding but he didn't really think anyone truly understood him. That lent itself to him feeling even more frustrated! Surely, there was someone out there who needed the same thing as he ... who wanted the same things ... who needed to just be needed and desired to show the same to another. He really wasn't sure if such even existed anymore but he felt he had to try. Being a romantic, he liked to think it was!

Somehow, he had ended up in a place he had never expected to be. Although surrounded by many, feeling totally alone and somewhat of an outsider to all .... his family, friends and even his present wife and everyone in her family since he had never really felt like he was a part of them either. What a strange situation to find himself in! He reckoned that divorce and the over all evolution of events had brought him to this point in his life. On one hand, he was moving forward ... personally in a positive direction as he saw it while at the same time, he felt like he was somewhat of a loner on the journey .... in a crowd of people. It felt more like they were people he just interacted with on a daily basis. He had conversations, worked on different projects, ate, and on the surface, did all the things that it would appear for an outsider looking in, .. that friends and family do together. Shoot! Sex was even included in the mix as that was an important ingredient for him but ... it was sex ... not the romantic form of ... ongoing romance and love he honestly yearned for as a part of what he truly needed. Just sex ... just basic down and dirty filling of needs. Not "dirty".... just regular. He didn't feel like he really ever made love anymore in his present relationship. Maybe this was the root of his frustration with life which on the surface for those looking in from the outside and even those "involved", was probably a poor excuse to be frustrated with life in general and where he was on his ... journey.

He stood up and as he was making his way to the front door, he passed by a mirror in the hallway. He looked at the man staring back at him. He needed a change and as he stood there, he slowly began to see a small smile forming. He was leaving but ... not leaving, leaving. The man he was ... was to be no longer. He was going to find and experience things in life that had alluded him. He had struggled with this part of him all his life. He wasn't out to hurt anyone. He just wanted to be ... wanted in a way he had never been wanted before. It wasn't like he was going to give away something that was treasured. This wasn't easy but it was somewhat very basic. He didn't want to be looking in this same mirror years later and see a man who ... missed out. Some might call him a fool or ... worse. But that's only if they were to find out. He took in a deep breath and gave a big sigh. He turned toward the door and stepped out ... and into a new man, one with purpose and desires and needs that he finally had decided ... would be filled.

He climbed on his Harley and started it up. He did love that sound! This was his first day of the rest of his life and he wanted to make it count. He could feel his heart racing just a bit as if it were trying to keep up with the sound of the bike. He thought of the many times he had dreamed of doing exactly this and smiled with the feeling of ... arrival as he gunned it and moved on down the road.

He didn't know where he was going. He just knew that he would take the day and be home by dark. He had decided to make this a once a month day of vacation for himself. He felt he deserved it. He had worked for it and needed it. He found a quiet country road and allowed the breeze to provide him with his ... second wind of sorts. After riding the turns through the forest, he could see a gas station ahead and decided to stop and fill his tank.

He pulled in and as he was filling the tank, a small pink Mustang with the top down pulled in next to him. The seats were white but it only made the little lady stand out as she opened the door and swung her legs out which were barely covered by a small pink skirt. She was totally dressed in pink! Pink shoes, pink skirt, pink blouse and probably much more ... or less. He glanced to see if there was anyone else in the car. Nope! He smiled to himself and felt a bit like a stalker, but that couldn't be true as this was his first ever glimpse of ... the pink lady. She started filling up her tank as he enjoyed the view. She looked kind of silly but at the same time ... really hot. He wondered just how much pink one could wear and allowed himself to slowly undress her as his eyes began to almost glaze over.

Suddenly he was aware of gas running everywhere as his bike was beyond full. Silly thing didn't click off! He jumped to turn it off and he could hear a bit of a chuckle coming from the pink seats. Crap! Here he was with his Harley and trying to ... act cool and he felt like a real butt-head! He shut it off and was looking down at the gas dripping off his bike and just glad it hadn't caught fire, while Chuckles provided sideline entertainment. He took a quick glance her direction and he could see her standing looking at him with her arms crossed and eyes just a dancing! He quickly looked away and back at his bike.

He heard her pump click off and felt relief that she'd soon be gone and he could get back to his ... ride. He took a rag out of his saddle bags and began wiping the bike dry. He was so embarrassed! Why does crap have to happen. He was enjoying the view and his imagination was finding new levels and then ....

She started laughing. He could hear her laughing and she wasn't even trying to cover it. Finally, he could not dry the bike off any dryer and he slowly turned toward this ... taunting laugher directed to him. She was looking at him. He could not help but notice the beauty beneath the smiles. She even had tears she was wiping from her eyes as she looked at him. Soon he realized she was looking him up and down. He immediately stood straighter and sucked in his gut. He did everything he could to transfer any middle aged spread to his chest. Of course, this only seemed to make her smile even bigger and then ... she started laughing again! He was beginning to wonder WHY he ever got on his bike and thought he could find passion on a lonely country road.

**********

She just needed a break. She wanted to feel special. Divorce sucked but it was finally over! This was the day it was final and she felt free but apprehensive at the same time. The dating scene was appealing but only in the sense that she felt she had needs. She just wanted to have a little fun and to have someone who would put her on a pedestal because she was special. She went to her closet and as she looked, this pink skirt and blouse seemed to be screaming at her. It was telling her to call in sick. Don't go to work. Play hooky. Celebrate! As she stood there looking at the pink outfit that she had bought when she got the pink convertible, more as a joke and a statement of ... SCREW YOU! ... to her Ex, without even realizing it, her phone was calling into her office. Before she even knew it, she had left a message that ... she just didn't feel good and was going to need to stay home. She could even hear her voice change to ... hoarse ... SHE WAS SO GOOOOOD!

Suddenly, she seemed to have all sorts of energy. She walked to her dresser and she knew exactly what she wanted. She pulled out her pink bra and thong ... just a special kind of ... floss ... to make the jaws drop and her to feel so ... ssssssssexy and yes, maybe a bit sassy! The word ... cocky ... came to mind but that was something she preferred in a man ... cocky ... but not a cocky sort of cocky ... just ... she rolled her eyes and just sighed melting into a knowing little devious smile. Oh yes .... and nothing like pink spikes to top off such a hot little package. Eat your heart out ... world! ... and someone please eat ... uh, then she just smiled and winked at the cutie in the mirror. She finished getting her hot little self ready to take on ... whatever came her way. Confidence? You bet! She wasn't about to let anything stand in her way!!! Finally, she took one last look in the mirror and with a big smile she had not really even seen in a while, she turned and headed for the door.

With the top down, she found a little country road and with the wind blowing her hair and her skin taking every bit of what the sun had to offer, she finally took a deep breath and ... relaxed. She loved the feeling and the freedom she finally felt. No more anger bombarding her relentlessly. A smile covered her face and ... she just felt sooo cute with her choice of ... seductive under garments.

She had been enjoying the drive so much, she didn't realize her car was low on gas. Suddenly, she realized she really didn't have much left and she needed to find a station ... on this little country road. As if out of the blue, there it was! Out here in the middle of nowhere, a gas station. NOW she knew all was right with the world! Her smile just took over her face and she found she was feeling ... happy inside for a change.

She pulled in and next to her was a guy on a motorcycle. She kind of rolled her eyes as she pulled in because her idea of a guy on a motorcycle was ... GIVE ME A BREAK! She smiled as she got out to fill her tank. She glanced at the ... "tough guy" on the bike and smiled. She noticed that he was checking her out and trying to be nonchalant. Who was this bozo?? She looked him over and smiled at what she saw as a man ... out of his element. She started putting gas in her vehicle and could tell he was trying to check her out. He seemed almost in a daze! Suddenly, the gas he was putting in his bike started overflowing and he started dancing around trying to stop it. All she could do was ... laugh. Initially, she tried to muffle her laugh but ... it was just too funny and she just couldn't help herself.

She looked him over and suddenly he was looking at her and standing up straight and sucking in his gut. Oh how funny!!! Suddenly she couldn't help but laugh again while wiping tears from her eyes. This was the best laugh she had had in a long time and it felt good. She realized she was laughing rather loudly and the release was such a welcome form of release for so many different emotions she had been holding in for so long! As she looked at him, he began taking on a whole new look to her and ... he started to actually appeal to her. She started noticing things about him she hadn't seen but the main thing she couldn’t help but notice was his blue eyes. He struck her as .. a man out of his element and someone searching for ... something. So was she!

**********

As he looked at her, he saw a sudden change in how she seemed to be looking at him. Her eyes seemed to soften and become just a bit more inviting. She seemed to quit laughing at him and seemed to just be enjoying the moment. He found it interesting to ... feel the change. The pink that seemed to surround her seemed to be overshadowed by what he felt he could see in her eyes. He felt a sense of ... almost closeness and longing, like she was missing something. Suddenly, this PINK LADY made him want to ... get to know her. What a strange turn of events! Here was this strange little woman in pink ... and all he could see was .... the most beautiful thing he had ever been privy to feast his eyes upon.

**********

Something happened to her. This was totally unexpected. This strange little man who was playing motorcycle tough guy was actually strumming her heart strings. He wasn't anything that stood out in the eyes of what the world would deem as ... a real man. He was just ... real. This really stroked her deeper feelings that she had wanted to hold back. She just wanted to have fun but this was somehow ... different. At that point, she looked at him ... differently. He was sweet and .. appealing. What a strange experience!

Then the vision of the whole scene that had just taken place revisited her thoughts and she started laughing again. There was absolutely no pretense. She just wanted to walk up to the guy and hug him with a big thank you hug! This thought danced around in her mind briefly and a little voice was telling her to GO FOR IT. After all, what was he going to do? Beat up the little lady??? Her confidence erupted into action and she walked up to him and with a brief connection of eyes, she wrapped her arms around him and squeezed ever so tightly while still laughing.

**********

Then, seemingly out of the blue, Chuckles burst into laughter again! Crap! Didn't she realize how embarrassed he already was and here she was ... laughing at him. He didn't know what to think! She seemed to be enjoying his pain so much and suddenly, she was walking toward him, arms open wide and she hugged him. He was glad she could not see his face and the utter confusion he was feeling. Her head fit just under his chin and he just stood there, eyes darting around and then down at the pink scarf beneath his chin. He felt absolutely helpless and befuddled!

Then, he found himself wrapping his arms around her and actually holding her ... in almost a protective way. Initially she felt very tense but as he held her, she seemed to almost be melting into him. There was some sort of connection taking place that was just strange. He felt like he was holding a long lost friend of sorts and just wanted to make her feel ... his heart. His heart was beating so loud he could hear it. Surely that was just his mind playing tricks. He needed to ... be a man! Show some strength! Not appear too soft! But all he could do was hold her and .... wow, did she smell good!

That was like a bit of a jolt to him. From the comforting protective MAN to this sudden flowing of hormones! He was standing here with his arms around this beautiful woman and he started to feel every curve of her cute little body against ... his. He looked up ... to the sky wondering ... WHAT NOW? His macho manhood was beginning to come to attention.

**********

She stood there just holding him as she buried the side of her face into his chest. She was almost shaking with laughter but she felt that changing into just a release of tension and emotions that had been screaming, wanting out. It was strange as she stood there holding him ... this man she had never even laid eyes on before. Then, it seemed he almost relaxed and she felt his arms wrap around her as if he was her own personal little cocoon. This ... was nice.

She became aware of his body against her. She couldn't tell if it was her heart or his that she was hearing, pounding in the back of her head. She could feel his body ... changing. Was that what she thought it was?

**********

Yep! He was finding himself getting a bit aroused and this was a problem. He was wearing jeans and what was down was wanting to come up....and couldn't. All it could do was press outward and it even hurt a little. He wanted ... uh, needed to adjust himself before Chuckles found something else to laugh about!

**********

Oh my! It was exactly what she thought it was. It was like there was this snake trying to escape! She didn't want to laugh now because she kind of liked it that he could respond to her in this manner. She was holding him tight and close and could feel one of his hands beginning to slide down her body while the other continued to hold her but they both seemed to have a purpose. While holding her with one arm, he seemed to be trying to ... make adjustments. She decided to let this just ... play out, so she decided to hold him even tighter. Devious ... BUT OF COURSE! This brought a wicked little smile to her face and she was glad it was buried in his chest.

**********

He needed to adjust himself and did NOT want her to know what he was doing. He decided to hold her close with one arm and allowed his other to ... as he saw it, begin to relax at his side. His mind was racing. He was just going from one embarrassment to the next and needed to take care of this ... little problem he was having, that seemed to be getting bigger and bigger. He thought to himself, WHY DID SHE HAVE TO BE SUCH A DOLL?!

Holding her close with his one arm, he wanted to keep her from seeing what he was doing with the other. He tried to arch his back and stick his butt out, away from her so he could get his hand in to make the necessary changes to his ... mindless little brother! Crap! It wasn't easy with jeans and they were even tighter with this little turn of events. Maybe if he pretended to get something from his pocket, she wouldn't notice.

**********

She held him tight and could actually feel a touch of heat coming from her face all the way down to her girlish little ... pink beneath the pink. But his body was contorting in a strange way and he was smashing her face against his chest while he seemed to be leaning into her and his butt was going the other direction. Then he was sticking his hand in his pocket and she realized what he was doing. She decided NOT to make this easy for him and held him even tighter. Stifling a laugh, she whispered a little THANK YOU to him and rolling her eyes imagining how this must look to anybody watching from the store. What a strange situation ... but fun!

**********

The jeans were tight and he had to wiggle his fingers and push to get them in his pocket. Wow! This was tough but he felt he was slowly but surely being successful. He heard her say ... something, but it seemed rather jumbled coming from his chest. But, evidently, it was something good because she just held him even tighter.

Finally, his hand was completely in his pocket and he started trying to make his way to ... dickhead .. to get him to stand up straight. He felt like a sergeant in the army dealing with a delinquent who couldn't get his head on straight. He was all tangled up in his shorts and not wanting to move while ... needing to!

Finally he was able to grab it and pull it up and immediately he felt the release of tension! AHHHH...he sighed a bit of relief and relaxed. He was just hoping he had been able to hide what he was doing sufficiently. He lightened his hold on her as he started trying to pull his hand out of his pocket. It was stuck! He could feel his face going flush and just wanted to maintain a little control! This was like a flipp'n rollercoaster!

**********

This was definitely new for her. She had NEVER been held so tight at a gas station before and for so long. She could barely move her face while he seemed to be in some sort of struggle with himself. She allowed her mind to drift into a position of watching from above. It was like he was playing with himself but she knew what he was doing and her sense of ... satisfaction at being the reason for this little ... dance with the devil ... was most gratifying. She never knew getting gas could be so much fun!

**********

Suddenly, he jerked and his hand came flying out of his pants! It was all she could do to hold back any laughter but she managed to keep a straight face. Inside, she was having a ... ball! Or maybe ... balls, she thought. She was having ... pun.

**********

Then he was loosening his grip on her and they were parting. They were staring at each other. She could see where she left a little makeup on his shirt and for some reason, Forest Gump came to mind, but there was almost complete silence and she decided to break it with .... WELL, THAT WAS INTERESTING! He was totally flush. She asked him what he was looking for and saw his eyes just dancing, in search of an answer. She relished the moment.

Finally, he answered .... WELL, I THOUGHT I MIGHT HAVE SOME CHANGE IN MY POCKET.

And she answered ... WELL, I THINK YOU MOST CERTAINLY DID!


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