For A Moment..

"Jealous is when you want something that's not yours. Territorial is claiming something that's yours."

I'm talking to him, happy as can be and yet not entirely happy. There's a niggling thought at the back of my mind that's threatening to surface and I keep pushing it back. I don't want to think about it. I.. I don't want to believe that I've stooped so low and for a man no less. He has a girlfriend and yet.. I can't seem to leave him alone. I need him. I love him. I get so lost in my thoughts, justifying my actions, telling myself that its not cheating. That he's not saying "stop" .. He jolts me out of my reverie by asking me a question, my opinion on some philosophical theory of his, I answer with half my mind before yanking myself away from the thoughts of my moral dilemma and giving him my full attention. We continue talking for hours, debating on some point or the other, laughing when we tickle each other or poke one another, pulling funny faces and generally being comfortable with one another.

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Before we know it, our clothes are flying off of our bodies. Its always like this. Passionate, hot, steamy and amazing. It starts innocently enough, tickling, poking, mock fighting- and then he dominates me either by using his brute strength or by targeting sexual weaknesses of mine. This time it was a combination of both. He gripped my wrists and pinned me down with his body; oh yes, his very muscular body that smells like heaven; his eyes molten with lust he starts chastising me about my "bad" behaviour and how he regrettably has to punish me. There's no help for it, his eyes, the position he has me in, his already hard length that's pressing against me has me hot.. And very fucking ready. He starts Kissing my neck, causing moans to be elicited, a love bite here, another moan, a groan from him, he moves down south, bites my breasts each bite sending lightning bright flashes of sensation down to my core. My subconscious is telling me to stop, telling me I shouldn't be doing this but my body's on fire, I need this. Like a drug addict, the consequences matter not, as long as I get my fix. I wiggle beneath him, trying to get some friction down there. He notices my ploy and roughly gets off of me, grabbing my hips and lifting them up.

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Instead of thrusting into me as I so badly need him to, he spreads my legs and lays my ass on his knees. Thrusting two fingers into me he moves in and out, all the while staring at me; I grip the bed posts, my body writhing; I swear, someone gave him magic fingers. Just when I thought he'd give me an orgasm just by using his fingers he bends down and starts suckling on my protruding clit, flicking it around has me bucking, his fingers continue moving in and out of me, my brain is fuzzy, all I know is that he's making my body feel amazing. My hands move downwards and I hold the back of his head, gently urging him on.. Quickly he pulls his fingers out of my pussy and sticks his tongue into me while his lubricated fingers make their way into my ass hole, whimpering my back arcs causing his fingers to go deeper, stretching my tight ass, my body coursing with streaks of pain and mountains of pleasure. He stimulates me until I'm on the brink of orgasm and then he pulls out! I almost want to cry at the denial of my orgasm but just as quickly as he pulls away he thrusts his length into my pussy. The orgasm literally bullies its way through me as he continues thrusting into me, my own hands pull him closer, kissing him, my cheeks wet from tears caused by the intensity of this... He squeezes my ass cheeks as he cums before pulling out and making me suck him, his cock a mixture of his cum and mine. I suck him clean, loving the unique taste of cum. After I've sucked him off he lays next to me and we lay, basking in the aftermath of amazing sex and just for a moment.. I feel as if I'm his and he mine. In this moment I feel safe and happy.. For a moment, I pretend that I could actually mean something more to him..

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This will probably happen again and the same thoughts will run through my mind, I'd voice it to him and he'll use those three words and hug me, making me feel slightly better, he'll make me laugh and I'll push the thoughts to the back of my mind again. So the cycle continues, like dominoes: I fall for him and he for another. I'll regret this later, I'll cry when I'm alone because the truth hurts and maybe I'm a coward but it'll happen again, eventually, even if we decide to try being "just friends" again or if I get a boyfriend. I'm a fool. And a sucker for him. But for this one moment I feel special, loved and all these other things fade away, leaving only the beauty of our sexual union and the happy times we shared together in my mind.