Emotions Left Unsaid Pt. 2

Emotions Left Unsaid Pt. 2

Status: Finished

Genre: Fan Fiction


Status: Finished

Genre: Fan Fiction


Same as Pt 1


Same as Pt 1


Submitted: January 16, 2013

A A A | A A A


Submitted: January 16, 2013



“We should check his genitals…see if he can attain an erection and ejaculate. I thought he would appreciate some privacy.”

Selar said nothing as Beverly retrieved the necessary equipment. Placing a stimulator band around the base of his flaccid penis, she activated it and waited. Nothing happened.

“Damn. The nerves have been damaged here too.”

She removed the band and covered him with a sheet.

“We can move him to his private room. I’ll set up a regen field over the worst of his injuries and connect him to a neural stimulator. Selar I want you to concentrate on Acryops. Remove the device on his head and compare the damage with Captain Picard. I want to know if their conditions are similar. We might be able to bring him out of this comatose state if we can learn a little more. Once the Captain is settled in his room, I’m going down to the detention cells and ask our ‘visitors’ some questions. Keep me appraised of any changes, no matter how slight.”

“Yes Sir.”

The next hour was spent installing Jean-Luc in his private room and connecting him to the numerous monitors and regen fields. Once she was satisfied he was safe and comfortable, Beverly left Sickbay for the Brig.




Will was quickly becoming angry.

“What do you mean… ‘Diplomatic immunity’?”

“There is no need for you to get upset Commander. As I explained I was acting on the orders of my government and, as your Captain was directly involved with the government, he was under my jurisdiction.”

“That makes no sense! You kidnapped and tortured a member of the Federation, a Starfleet Captain, and you claim you have immunity from prosecution? How could you think you could do such a thing and get away with it?”

“You forget we are a non-aligned species. What happens on our planet is not your concern.”

“It is when it involves our Captain!”

“You’re getting angry again Commander. Your thoughts tell me that you wish to do me physical harm. Does that not make us of similar mind?”

“No! I’m angry because you hurt my Captain, whom I also consider a friend, and you show no remorse. In fact you calmly sit there and pass off your actions as nothing more that departmental policy. I ask you again, why did you capture and torture Captain Picard?”

“And I answer you again Commander, I was acting on orders from my government. I know nothing other than that.”

Will stalked in front of the energy field separating him from Bleck.

He was about to erupt when Deanna gripped his arm. He looked down into the black depths of her eyes and relented. She stepped up to the barrier.

“I sense your uneasiness Bleck. You’re hiding something.”

Bleck stood and walked closer.

“I’ve heard of your species…Betazoid aren’t you? Why don’t you just read my thoughts?”

“I’m not fully Betazoid, I’m half Human. I’m not telepathic, my gift is empathy. I sense how people feel.”

“I see, how interesting. Not very useful in my line of work.”

His sardonic smile made Will bridle, his dark thoughts bringing a wider smile to the Arellian.

“Now Commander…a little restraint would be beneficial.”

Will glowered at the man, but said nothing. Deanna cleared her throat.

“What I said before still stands. You’re hiding something.”

“We all hide things we’d rather not share.”

“Amongst a species of telepaths I find that unlikely.”

“Perhaps, but I’m not amongst telepaths here…am I?”

“No, that’s true, although I have my ways.”

This brought a laugh from the prisoner.

“Come now Counsellor. You can’t possibly expect to pit your mind against mine! You wouldn’t stand a chance.”

“I won’t enter a contest, no…however I still maintain I can get what I want from you.”

Bleck folded his arms across his chest and rocked back on his heels. Looking down his nose, he snorted.

“I doubt that.”

Deanna walked slowly back and forth in front of the imprisoned man.

“Why do you feel a stab of guilt when Captain Picard’s name is mentioned?”

Bleck pursed his thin lips and frowned.

“What happened was…unfortunate…unintentional. I’d never had a Human to work on before. I had no idea their brains were so fragile.”

“So why did you do it?”

“Conventional methods were taking too long. I had been requested to retrieve information and your Captain was being…reticent.”

“He was fighting you.”

“In a limited fashion. It was only a matter of time before he broke, but time was not something I had a lot of.”

“So what did you do?”

Bleck smiled in an oily way and winked at the Counsellor.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“The Captain is in a comatose state. It seems reasonable to assume you assaulted him telepathically. Can he be retrieved?”

A frown creased Bleck’s dark brow and Deanna felt the regret wash over her.

“To be honest, I don’t know. As I said I’m unfamiliar with Humans.”

“I find it unusual that you feel sorrow for one of your victims. Considering what it is you do, I would have thought a measure of indifference was required.”

“Normally you would be correct. I don’t usually feel anything for my…subjects.”

“But Captain Picard?”

Bleck sighed and sat on his bunk, lowering his head.

“He was one of Udrom’s schemes. He has no finesse, no pride in what he does. He brought your Captain to me and expected answers immediately…he had no appreciation of the effort involved from either my subject or me. Captain Picard was…is…a unique individual, far stronger than I anticipated. I would’ve liked more time to study him…are all Humans as strong as he?”

“So you do regret what you did to him?”

“Yes, I suppose I do.”

…”Then you’ll be willing to help me!”

Beverly stopped next to Deanna and glared at Bleck.

He stood, smiled and sauntered to the force field.

“And who might you be?”

“I am Doctor Beverly Crusher and I need some answers to help my patient.”

“Your patient being…?”

“Captain Picard.”

“You care for him…a great deal. Doesn’t that affect your objectivity?”

“Mind your own business! What did you do to him?”

Bleck smiled and cocked his head to one side.

“Your terrified he might not recover! In fact this is an old fear, one that has paralysed your feelings from being explored with him. Yes! You’re the woman he thought of! Do you know he…loves you?”

Beverly pinched the bridge of her nose as Deanna gripped her shoulder. It was the Counsellor who spoke next.

“You have felt remorse for what you did to the Captain. Whatever was going on down on the planet is over. You are in our custody and will remain so at least for the interim. What possible motive could you have for continuing to assault the Captain by not helping him now? You’ve already admitted you admire him. It may well count in your favour in the future if you help us.”

“If I answer you, will you tell me how you maintain your mental barriers against my probing?”


“Alright! I used an invasive method called intrascanning. I forced myself into his mind and quashed all his individuality. I took away his sense of self, his memories, everything that made him who he was. With another Arellian it would enable me to sort through the detritus and retrieve any information I wanted. It’s a little drastic and time consuming, but normally, the subject recovers with very few after effects.”

“Can you…reverse the process?”

“I don’t know, I never had to before. What you’re asking…I would have to attempt to restore him…I don’t think I can.”

Beverly’s hands formed into fists at her sides.

“Well will you at least try?”

“In all truth Doctor, I think it would do more harm than good.”

“So you won’t help.”

“Look at it from my perspective Doctor. If I try to help you and he worsens it will not go well for me, now will it? As your fellow officer has already pointed out, I’m in trouble. I’ve no wish to exacerbate my position.”

“But Goddamn it Bleck…”

Deanna held Beverly’s arm silencing her.

“Can you tell us what it was you were trying to get from the Captain?”

Bleck sighed and shrugged his shoulders.

“Apparently your Captain had been contacted by the alliance. Udrom wanted to know whom, exactly, contacted him. With a name, he could unearth the cell and find the rest of the collaborators. It would’ve taken a lot of sympathetic people to get them in to see Captain Picard….he was in a Federal building after all. It could have been very…productive.”

Will stepped forward frowning.

“The alliance?”

Bleck sighed again and waved his hand dismissively.

“Ask Udrom….I don’t delve into politics.”

The three Starfleet officers left the holding cell and paused in the corridor. Once the doors had closed, Beverly hissed…

“Bastard! He won’t help, the lowlife lump of…”

Deanna held up her hand.

“Beverly how is the Captain? Has there been any change?”

“No! In fact we’ve found he’s got spinal damage and damage to his genitals, let alone the brain damage. My God what he must have gone through!”

“What about Acryops?”

“No joy there either. He’s in some kind of coma, induced we think, by a device attached to his head.”

“Like the Captain had?”

“No, different. What are you thinking Deanna?”

“Acryops is a powerful telepath. If he recovers maybe he could help with Captain Picard.”

Beverly’s eyes opened wide.

“Yes! I’ll get back to Sickbay straight away and Selar and I will double our efforts.”

She left, her lab coat flapping. Will looked down at his best friend.

“Do you think it’s a real chance…that Acryops can help?”

Deanna watched Beverly’s receding back.

“I don’t know…I hope so.”







Selar looked again at the readout and ran the medical scanner over the instrument attached to the Dellarite’s head. She picked up a tricorder and passed it over his temple, frowning at the result. Tapping in some commands, the device emitted a soft beep and two halves of a circle separated, giving access to its innards.

Again Selar scanned it and inputted some more commands. Two of three lights went off and, after further study; Selar reached down and pressed a button on the device. The final green light went red, then extinguished. She checked the twin on his other temple to find it deactivated. Watching the computer monitor, Selar gently lifted the device from Acryops' temple. It came away with some skin attached, causing a slight bleed. It was soon repaired and the other device removed. Acryops now lay free of the instruments.

Beverly entered the room and stood silently by his bed, reading the results of the scans.

“Is there any synaptic activity?”

“Yes Doctor, but very low grade. He is still deeply unconscious; yet better than he was before. I believe he will recover, although I do not know when.”

“How is Captain Picard?”

“No change Doctor. Did you find out anything useful?”

“I can tell you he was violated telepathically. His mind was infiltrated by another’s thoughts and everything he was has been subjugated. All memories, all sense of self…all gone.”

Selar frowned and shook her head.

“I was with him just a few moments ago. Physically he is recovering well. We passed a stimulator down his legs and got a good response. He is a very strong individual Doctor. Given the level of care he will receive here, I can only predict he will recover.”

It was as close to an emotional response as she could muster and Beverly was grateful.

“Thank you Selar, I’m sure you’re right. I think I’ll go and sit with him for a while. Will you be alright here?”

“Yes Doctor.”

Beverly left the main room and entered the quiet surrounds of the Captain’s private room.

He lay on the bed, now dressed in blue Sickbay pyjamas and covered by a light blanket. Beverly drew up a chair and sat beside him and, watching his chest rise and fall, was lulled into a light doze.

She awoke an hour later, startled to find her head on her arms next to his head. She rose and stretched and froze when she looked down at him. His eyes were open.



She passed her hand in front of his unseeing gaze and nothing happened. She snapped her fingers. He didn’t blink. Checking the monitor, she picked up a medical tricorder and scanned him. She sighed when she read the results and gently closed his eyes.

“Sleep my love, we’ll find a way to bring you home.”






For the next thirty-six hours, Jean-Luc’s body continued to heal but his mind stayed closed down. No stimuli could rouse him, he responded to nothing.

Beverly taped his eyes shut to prevent damage when she found he’d gone through the night with his unblinking eyes open.

Acryops, on the other hand, started to improve. His wounds healed, his brain activity began to manifest itself in increased action in his neural output and, on the fourth day, his eyes slowly opened. Beverly was by his side.

He looked groggily around him and raised his hand to his head. Beverly gently took his hand and placed it on the bed.

“Easy there, you’ve had quite a spell.”

He focussed his eyes on her and summoned his voice.

“I have been…away.”

“Yes. You were assaulted and suffered a brain injury. We have been treating you.”

He thought about that for a while then said, his eyes widening…

“The Arellians!”

“It’s alright, they failed. We have their torturers aboard confined to our Brig. They can’t hurt you any more.”

He grabbed Beverly’s hand and stared into her eyes.

“No…Captain Picard…he won’t be able to withstand…”

“He’s here.”

“Here? In Sickbay? Is he alright?”

Beverly turned her head and looked at the door to his private room. Turning back to her patient, she shook her head sadly.

“No Acryops, he’s not alright at all. Apart from severe physical injuries he suffered a brain assault that we cannot treat.”

Acryops attempted to sit up. Beverly gently pushed him down.

“No you don’t, I want you to rest.”

“But I…what kind of assault was it? Who did it?”

“Bleck was the assailant. He said it was called intrascanning.”

Acryops closed his eyes and shook his head.

“That’s very bad. In a Dellarite it causes…well you’ve seen what it does to us.”

“He did it to you too? I though that might be the case, but we know so little about these kinds of assaults.”

“You must let me up, I think I can help your Captain.”


“With luck I can infiltrate myself into his mind and undo the damage Bleck has done.”

“With luck? I need something more substantial than that.”

Acryops brushed Beverly’s hands aside and slowly sat up. He leaned forward slightly and grasped her forearms.

“I’ve had some experience recovering people from this kind of…violation. Let me try…what have you got to lose?”

Beverly frowned, looking down at the earnest Dellarite. Coming to a decision, she freed her arms.

“Alright, we’ll do it, but let me set up some monitors first. I want to record everything.”

While Beverly was busy, Acryops had a drink and something to eat. When she was ready she wheeled him into Jean-Luc’s room. 






At his request, Acryops was stationed behind Jean-Luc’s head. He leaned forward and placed both hands around Jean-Luc’s brow and closed his eyes. He slowly lowered his head until his brow touched the crown of the Captain’s head.

For some time, nothing happened. Beverly carefully monitored both patients, noting increased brain activity in the Dellarite. Acryops soon began to sweat and his body started to tremble. Beverly was about to say something to him when she saw the first spike of activity in Jean-Luc’s brain waves.






In the quiet of Jean-Luc’s mind, an intruder presented itself. At first not disturbed, he soon became aware of pain emanating from around the intruder. He tried to repel it, turning his mind to the task and expending all his energy to make it go away.

The pain increased. He was in trouble, he knew it. Using all the force he could muster, he tried to escape the intruder, but it pursued him, eventually cornering him.

Panicked and exhausted, the pain an overwhelming sensation in his mind, he fell to his knees, sobbing with anguish.

“No more…please, no more.”

He sensed, rather than saw the bright light. With it came a lessening of the agony and he became aware of a gentle voice.

“Jean-Luc…come to me.”

All he could see was the light.

“Where are you?”

“I am here…I am everywhere. Relax and open you mind.”

“No! I must hold on…they will…”

“They are gone Jean-Luc. They hurt you and I will restore you. All you have to do is open your mind.”

He shook his head.

“It’s a trick! You will take my…”

“No Jean-Luc. It’s Acryops who talks to you. Trust me as I have trusted you. Open your mind.”

Jean-Luc sobbed and gasped.

“I don’t know what to do!”

Beverly watched as the struggling Acryops began to groan in pain. His grip tightened on the Captain’s head, sweat running freely from both men.

“Relax Jean-Luc, don’t fight me. Think of Beverly, think of the one you love.”

The image of his beloved came easily to him. She appeared in his mind and he sighed with the sense of serenity she brought.

“That’s it Jean-Luc let the image carry you. Expand it in you mind, take the image to another plane.”

In his mind the image of Beverly transformed. No longer an alluring figure sitting on his sofa, she was in uniform and on duty. On the Enterprise. The Enterprise!

Suddenly a multitude of images flooded into his mind. Will, Deanna, Data, everyone he knew was there. His quarters, the Bridge…and then pictures of his past, his childhood in LaBarre, the Academy…it was a riot of images, his memory cascading back.

He gasped, his body arching up from the table. Acryops maintained the connection, though it obviously caused him great pain. His own gasps could be heard above Jean-Luc’s

He tried to open his eyes and encountered the tape. Panicking, he violently shook his head from side to side, his hands restrained at his sides.

Beverly administered a hypospray of light sedative and quickly removed the tape.

Jean-Luc’s eyes snapped open, his chest heaving. He stared wildly around the room until he saw Beverly. He stilled immediately, a sob ripped from his throat.

“It’s alright! Jean-Luc listen to me. You’re safe, it’s over. You’re on the Enterprise…take it easy now, just relax, everything’s ok.”

She looked up briefly to find Acryops slumped in his chair. Calling Selar, he was taken from the room and treated.












Jean-Luc tried to find his voice. Still ruined from his torture all he could manage was a whisper.


She turned to him, tears in her eyes.

“I’m here Jean-Luc.”

“My hands…”

“Here let me release them.”

Once his hands were free, he raised shaking arms to his beloved Beverly.

She was in them in a moment. Clutching him around the shoulders, she whispered in his ear,

“I love you.”

It was the words he’d longed to hear. Tears welled up in his eyes and he hugged her with all his meagre strength.

“Beverly…my sweet Beverly, I have loved you for so long…”

“Shh my love. I want you to rest now. You’ve been through hell and back. It’s time for you to get better.”

She straightened and gently ran her hand down his face. He could feel the sedative dogging his mind and he sighed, whispering,

“Will you be here when I wake up?”

“Just try and stop me.”

He smiled as his eyes drifted closed and, as he slipped into sleep, the smile stayed on his face.






Acryops was lying quietly when Beverly came to see him. Seemingly over his ordeal, he’d been bathed and had a change of pyjamas. Beverly tenderly took his hand.

“Thank you so much for what you did. You restored to me the man I love. There is nothing I can do to repay you…”

“Nothing is required dear Doctor, it was my pleasure to be able to help. But I must tell you, he is not fully restored. His memories are complete up to his capture, but he remembers nothing of his torture…yet.”


“He will remember…he must.”

“Must he? Wouldn’t it be kinder to leave him..?”

“Doctor…you know as well as I that that isn’t possible. If I don’t help him to retrieve those memories, they will surface in the future only to devastate him. Do you want that?”

Beverly frowned and shook her head.

“Then let me continue to help him. Is he healed…physically?”

“Mostly. We discovered his shoulders were badly damaged and his larynx will need treatment, but by and large, yes he’s healed.”

“Good. He will need to be strong. I know from my contact with his thoughts that he’s experienced great anguish in his past. His assimilation by the Borg, his mistreatment at the hands of Gul Madred…he is a very resilient Human.”
”Yes he is, I only wish he didn’t have to be.”

“I don’t think I’m breaking any confidences in telling you that he loves you.”

Beverly smiled wistfully and closed her eyes.

“I know. He’s loved me for a very long time.”

“And I also know you love him…in equal measure.”

She nodded, her eyes still closed.

“Then do something about it dear Doctor! The strength of love you share should not be denied.”

Her eyes opened and he could see the resolve in their blue depths.

“Oh, I intend to Acryops…believe me when he’s recovered…”

The telepath held up his hand, a smile on his face.

“Say no more Doctor, I can hear you loud and clear.”

Beverly spent some time checking his monitors and ordering more tests for the Dellarite. Eventually she was back at his side.

“Acryops…about his memories…how will you do it?”

“With his permission, I will re-enter his mind and find the thoughts. They’re buried deeply within his subconscious, his way of bearing what happened to him.”

“What did he do?”

“I’m not certain, being unfamiliar with Humans, but I’d guess that he closed his mind down at the height of the assault. It’s a technique we learn to protect ourselves…it’s what I did. I suspect that Bleck was unaware that either of us could do it.”

“The Human brain isn’t really supposed to be able to do that. Under extreme duress unconsciousness can be achieved and a certain amount of disassociation can occur, but a shutdown such as you describe…well it’s unusual to say the least. He has had mind melds with Vulcans, perhaps that aided him.”

“Yes I detected the thoughts of others in his mind. I didn’t identify them as Vulcan though. What an interesting man. At a cursory level he’s calm and cool, almost glacial in his thoughts. When he’s provoked his anger is towering yet still completely controlled. No wonder he was able to withstand so much of Bleck’s torture. He would be the most interesting Human I’ve ever met.”

“He’s many things Acryops, probably the most complex man I know.”

“Well he’s going to need all his strength Doctor.”

Beverly nodded and, as she turned to leave, looked back over her shoulder.

“He’s also got us, don’t forget that.”

The telepath smiled and settled back in his bed.











Beverly was indeed by his side when he woke up. Jean-Luc stretched and sighed. Beverly took his hand and squeezed it gently.

“Now…first things first. No talking. I’m doing some work on your larynx and I don’t want all my good efforts put to waste. Second I want you to eat something…nothing heavy, a light salad perhaps and some Earl Grey? Then, and only then, can we ‘talk’.”

Jean-Luc sighed again and grinned at his best friend. Nodding, he was pleased when Beverly raised the head of his bed, allowing him to see better around his room.

She straightened the covers on his bed then left him, soon returning with a tray, which she placed across his thighs.

“Ok, here’s your meal. Eat it all.”

He attempted to throw a mock salute but grimaced as he raised his arm.

“Steady Jean-Luc. You damaged the muscles and ligaments of your shoulders. We’ll be applying regen treatments, but it’ll be a while before they’re comfortable.”
He raised his eyebrows in a classic ‘how?’ gesture.

Not knowing quite what to say, Beverly offered…

“I think you must’ve fallen.”

He seemed satisfied with that and looked down at his meal. Picking up his fork, he pushed the food around, not really attempting to eat it. Beverly noticed and took the utensil from him.

“If you don’t hurry up and eat, I’ll hand feed you!”

He gave a ‘you wouldn’t dare’ look and Beverly snorted.

“Just try me.”

He looked hard at her and decided she was serious. He gestured for the fork and, having once again secured it, began to eat his food. Mollified, Beverly drew up a chair and sat beside him.

She waited until he had finished the food and was sipping his tea until she mentioned how long he would have to stay.

“You’ll be here about a week, all being well.”

His eyebrows rose then he scowled.

“Yes, I know…you want to be discharged to your quarters, but that’s not possible yet. Be patient Jean-Luc. Rest assured I won’t keep you here a moment longer than necessary. I promise.”

He tenderly took her hand and pulled her towards him. When she was close enough, he kissed her gently then whispered…

“Why am I here? What happened to me?”

Beverly straightened and softly stroked his face.

“I can’t answer that Jean-Luc. When you’re a bit stronger, Acryops will come and see you. He will be able to answer all your questions.”

He frowned and shook his head, but Beverly forestalled him.

“No Jean-Luc don’t. You trust me don’t you?”

He nodded.

“Then trust me now. Acryops will be able to help you far more than I can at this point. Just be patient a little longer, ok?”

His expression was one of puzzlement, but he took her at her word. Nodding he raised his arms very slowly and she sank into them, tears in her eyes.







The next few days were routine for Jean-Luc. His regen treatments continued and his body responded well. He was allowed out of bed on the third day and enjoyed sitting in the observation room, watching the passing stars. Beverly hedged whenever he asked how he came to be injured; Acryops was waiting until the Captain was strong enough. That time came when he started to nag about being released from Sickbay.

Jean-Luc was seated beside his bed reading when Acryops and Beverly came in to see him. He closed the book and smiled at his visitors, but soon felt their sombre mood.

His voice recovering well, he said softly…

“What is it?”

Beverly sat on his bed and gathered her thoughts.

“Jean-Luc you have been asking me how it is you were injured. I have brought Acryops here to help you to remember what happened.”

Jean-Luc frowned and shook his head.

“I don’t recall being injured at all. The last thing I remember is beaming down to the planet with Acryops. That fall you mentioned must have damaged my head. Perhaps I hit it…?”

“No Jean-Luc you didn’t hit your head, in fact there was no fall. I told you that to allay your concerns. What happened is far more sinister.”

“What then? What happened to me?”

The Dellarite moved to stand behind the Captain and placed his hands around Jean-Luc’s head.

“Captain Picard I am going to use a technique used to retrieve hidden memories. You may experience some pain, but please, try to relax and cooperate with me. It will be difficult if you resist.”

Uneasy, Jean-Luc looked up at Beverly to find her smiling at him.

“It’s alright Jean-Luc, I’ll be here.”

He swallowed and took a big breath then relaxed his body.

Acryops leaned forward until his brow touched Jean-Luc’s head and began to softly chant. Jean-Luc found the mantra lulling and soon found his mind drifting. As Acryop’s hands tightened on his head, he suddenly felt the presence of another in his mind. He rebelled instantly, his body tensing and his mental shields coming up. Deep in his mind he heard a voice.

“No Captain you must relax. I will not hurt you…let me in.”

Jean-Luc tried to shake his head but the Dellarite’s grip was too tight.

“No! Get out!”

“Captain I must do this. You have buried memories that will eventually harm you. Permit me entry to your mind.”

“I won’t…I can’t!”

Pain bloomed in his head and he groaned deeply.

Still with his eyes tightly closed and his head connected to Jean-Luc, Acryops called to Beverly.

“Sedate him!”

Jean-Luc never heard the hiss of the hypospray but his body slumped in the chair. Taking advantage, Acryops renewed his efforts.

“Captain Picard relax…it’s not hard, just let me in.”

“No…I… wait, stop…please I don’t want…”

As his barriers fell he sensed the complete infiltration of Acryop’s power. He was everywhere; in everything…there was no more Jean-Luc.

“That’s it Captain just rest now and let me help you. I give you my word, I will not harm you.”


“Good. Now you remember beaming down to the planet with me?”


“What happened then?”

“I don’t know.”

The presence intensified and pain skittered around his mind.

“Yes you do Captain…what happened?”

“I…I met with Udrom…he took us to…quarters.”

“Yes, that’s right. We had a room each and some time on our hands. What did you do?”

Jean-Luc frowned and began to sweat slightly.

“I…laid out my things…and I…I rested.”

“Good, very good. Did you rest long?”

“No…the door bell rang.”

“Who was it?”

“NO! I mustn’t tell!”

“It’s alright Captain you can tell me…nothing will happen, I promise.”

“I…no you will hurt her. I must stop you.”

“Not me Captain…another man. I am here to help you. Tell me, who was it?”

“It was…it was Nerella.”

“She was from the alliance?”

“Yes…how do you know?”

“Tell me what happened.”

“She told me of their struggle and asked me to abandon the talks. She left and I didn’t know what to do.”

“I see. What did you decide to do?”

“I went to see you. You were injured! There was blood and I…someone else was there. They had a weapon and I was injected with a drug.”

“Yes, sleep took you. Where were you when you woke up?”

Jean-Luc stiffened and Beverly noted an increased heart and respiratory rate.

“There was pain…oh God there was pain everywhere. I’m tied to a pole…I can’t stand up. My head aches badly…I’m sick.”

“Is there anyone else there?”

“No…yes! He douses me with water and hits me. He asks me who came to see me. I think of a wall.”

“That was very brave Captain.”

“I have to protect her.”

“Then what?”

“He puts something on my head and it gives me shocks…terrible pain. The wall begins to crumble but I rebuild it. He’s angry. He attaches another device on my spine. The pain is excruciating and I pass out. Can we stop now?”

“No Captain…Jean-Luc…there is more, isn’t there?”


“Tell me.”

“When I wake up I imagine the wall. It infuriates him and he puts another device on my testicles. I can’t stand the pain…it’s too much. I’m sick again and he cuts me loose and puts me in a chair. There are more people there; they hit me…they don’t stop until I’m almost unconscious. He shocks me again and the wall falls. I think of Beverly. He is curious. They beat me again and I feel my bones break.”

“You still fought him?”

“Yes…I had to.”

“What did he do Jean-Luc?”

“The beating stopped and he gripped my head. He pushed himself into my mind and I couldn’t stop him. The pain was overwhelming and I saw a bright light, then everything was calm and he was gone.”

“Is there anything else?”

“No. My next memory is you…in my mind…then Sickbay and Beverly.”

“The man who assaulted you is called Bleck and he, along with the two who beat you, are confined to your brig. When you wake up you will feel violated and distressed. It is very important for you to remember that it is over; that you are safe and recovering aboard you ship and that the woman you love is with you. Is there anything else?”

“No…will you leave now?”

“Yes Jean-Luc I will leave, but you will remember.”

Acryops slowly withdrew from Jean-Luc’s mind and a calm descended, the lingering pain banished. He slipped into a deep sleep, untroubled by dreams.






Beverly had two orderlies place Jean-Luc in his bed and, once she was certain he was resting peacefully, left to join Acryops in her office.

“How did it go?”

“It went well. As I suspected he is a man of great fortitude. He withstood his assault with courage and determination…a lesser man would have succumbed.”

“What is his prognosis? Does he remember what they did to him?”

“Yes, sadly he recalls it all. He will be traumatised and will require professional help. I take it you have appropriate staff…?”

“Of course. The trouble with Jean-Luc is getting him to talk about it. He tries so hard to keep things to himself, he tends to withdraw.”

“Well Doctor I don’t need to tell you how important therapy will be for him. Who will do it?”

“Counsellor Troi. She’s helped him in the past…he trusts her.”

“Good. I will go to my quarters now Doctor, I’m somewhat fatigued.”

“As you wish Acryops. I…I want to thank you for what you’ve done.”

“Not at all Doctor, I’m glad I could help.”




It was late in the night when he woke. At first he lay quietly, calmly listening to the quiet sounds of Sickbay, until he began to feel uneasy. There was something bothering him, it was on the periphery of his mind but when he tried to focus on it, it slithered away. He sighed and turned over and, as he made himself comfortable, the realisation came crashing in on him. He sat bolt upright and shouted…

Beverly came at the run. She burst into his room and ordered the lights half up. He was holding his head, sobbing in despair. She attempted to embrace him but he shrugged out of her arms. He fled the bed and raced into the bathroom, disappearing into the toilet. When Beverly reached him, he was kneeling at the bowl retching piteously. She retrieved a wet towel and eased him back, wiping his sweating face and dabbing at his tears.

He lowered his head onto her shoulder and gasped, his breath hiccupping.

“It’s over Jean-Luc, you’re safe now, and they can’t hurt you any more.”

His arms embraced her as he strove for control. After a while she heard his deep voice.

“Why Beverly? Why did it happen again?… Why me? Why do these things continue to happen to me?”

Beverly began to rock him gently and stroke his trembling back.

“I don’t know Jean-Luc…it’s so unfair.”






Almost an hour later, Beverly, Deanna and Jean-Luc were in his room, talking quietly.

“Counsellor…Deanna with all due respect…I don’t want to talk about it right now. Later perhaps…”

“No captain now is the most important time. Do you have a complete memory of what happened to you?”

He nodded, not trusting his voice.

“Tell me.”

He glanced at Beverly and caught her nod. Facing Deanna, he took a large breath and, haltingly at first, then with more confidence, told her of his experiences at the hands of Bleck and his cronies.

When he finished, he lay back on the pillows and let the tears roll unhindered down his face. There was silence in the room as the two women digested the horrors he had spoken of.

Beverly, wiping at tears of her own, sat on the bed and took him into her arms. He embraced her tightly, drawing strength from her.

Deanna waited until he found himself and gently cleared her throat. When she had his attention she assessed his mood.

Though obviously upset, the seeds of his recovery were already taking hold. He was angry and felt the dreadful helplessness of violation, yet he still exuded the determination to face what had happened. She had an idea.

“Captain are you aware that Bleck is in the brig?”


“Would you like to see him?”

Shock was the first emotion she felt from him, followed by the more base need for revenge.

“Can I take a phaser?”

“No Sir, I don’t think that would be advisable.”

“Perhaps not but it would make me feel a whole lot better to vaporise him.”

Deanna’s laughter eased the tension.

“I’m sure Sir, however I have something a little more therapeutic in mind.”

“You want me to face my demons…is that it?”

“In a way. I was present at his interrogation. I believe he feels genuine remorse for what he did to you Sir. It might help for you to hear that for yourself.”

“And when did you envisage this taking place?”

“What about in the morning, after breakfast?”

“Well Counsellor as always I will be guided by your expertise, though I’m not completely sure I agree with you. I will however, accede to your wishes.”

Deanna stood over her commanding officer and smiled down at him.

“Thank you Captain. I’ll see you in the morning.”

The doors sighed open and she left. Beverly looked carefully at Jean-Luc and ran her fingers gently down his face.

“How do you feel? Do you think you can sleep?”

He pursed his lower lip and shook his head.

“No, but that doesn’t mean you should loose any sleep. Go back to your quarters Beverly, I’ll be fine.”

It was Beverly’s turn to shake her head.

“Nup, I think I’ll stay here, if you don’t mind and seeing as how were both so wide awake, how about a game of Backgammon?”

They were still playing when the day shift came on duty.








Jean-Luc felt the first stirrings of trepidation as they neared the holding cells. They stopped out of the range of the door sensors and he ran his hands over his thighs nervously. Deanna clasped a hand on his arm and said softly,

“It’s alright Captain, he can’t hurt you.”

Jean-Luc looked down at the Counsellor and mustered a wan smile. Although not feeling particularly brave, he garnered his courage and stepped forward, activating the doors.

Bleck was lying on his bunk and came to his feet when he heard the door. Jean-Luc walked to within a few centimetres of the force field and stared at his tormentor.

Bleck stared back, his cold pink eyes appraising the Captain. Bleck stepped back and folded his arms.

“You look different.”

Jean-Luc said nothing, just continued to stare.

“You are attempting to shield your thoughts. Why?”

“The reading of another’s thoughts is considered among Humans to be an invasion of privacy.”

“I can’t help my natural abilities. It’s how I communicate.”

“I disagree. You ‘communicate’ by torturing those who are helpless.”

Bleck dropped his arms and lifted his chin.

“I was doing my superior’s bidding! Surely you of all people understand the chain of command?”

“I understand you drugged me, attached devices to my body with the sole purpose of inflicting pain, beat me and when all that failed to get you what you wanted, you violated my mind in an invasive procedure that left me brain damaged. If that is the result of your ‘chain of command’ then I don’t understand it at all.”

“Why did you resist? It would have been so much easier if you had just told me what I wanted to know.”

“And let others become your prey? I don’t think so. Let me ask you…why the intrascanning? You must have known it would damage me.”

Bleck turned and sat on his bunk, pulling one foot up.

“To be honest Captain I didn’t know. I’d never had a Human subject before. I didn’t want to do it but I was under orders. We were running out of time and my superiors felt it was the only way we were going to get the information we sought. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry I did that to you.”

“But not sorry for torturing me?”

“I was doing my job.”

“You disgust me.”

“That’s not all Captain. Given the chance…you would do me harm. Are we so different?”

Jean-Luc turned on his heel and left, the two women following him. He marched out into the corridor and didn’t stop until he reached his quarters. Pausing briefly to watch the women enter, he scowled and went to the replicator to order himself an Earl Grey.

“Must you stay? I would appreciate some privacy!”

“Captain what are you feeling right now?”

Jean-Luc brusquely placed the cup on the desk and began to pace around the room.

“What do I feel? I feel angry…livid. That bastard is right. I would tear him limb from limb if I had the opportunity. Maybe he’s got it right. Perhaps we are alike.”

“Captain he tried the same thing with Will. It’s perfectly natural to be angry after what you’ve been through, but I honestly don’t believe you would harm him. Feelings of revenge are normal. That will give way to calmer emotions when you’ve had a chance to process what has happened to you. Captain people like Bleck are trained to bring out emotions in their captives. Having the ability to read thoughts gives him an advantage you can’t defend against, at least not under normal circumstances. Allow yourself your feelings but don’t dwell on them, they will not overpower you.”

Jean-Luc stopped his pacing and sighed expansively. Lowering his head, he let his shoulders drop and did his best to ease the tension in his body.

“Thank you Counsellor. I will keep that in mind.”

Deanna stood and made for the door. At the threshold she turned.

“I’ll see you this afternoon Sir.”

He nodded and she left. Beverly took his arm and guided him to the sofa. When they were both seated, she wriggled in behind him and started to massage his shoulders.

“Hmm that’s good.”

“Shh no talking, just relax.”

He allowed his head to nod forward, his hands resting between his knees. Beverly coaxed his muscles into relaxing, the most reluctant needing her thumbs to win the battle. As his tension eased, her massage took on a more sensual action, the kneading becoming caresses. She moved to one side and cupped his chin with her hand. What she found took her breath away.

He looked at her with undisguised love. Not shielding it, not glancing away, just a quiet contemplation of her with tear filled hazel eyes. She leaned slowly forward and brushed her lips over his. He closed his eyes and sighed. She kissed him again, lingering on his lips until he started to respond. Gently, he slid his lips over hers sensuously, his hands creeping up to tangle in her vibrant red hair. It was her turn to sigh.

Her eyes drifted closed and he quested with his tongue, requesting admittance. She opened to him slowly, tenderly meeting his tongue with hers. The kiss deepened and she felt her desire rising. Starting as a heat low in her groin, it rose and bloomed over her body making her moan softly into his mouth.

He gently pulled back and held her face in his hands. In a deep whisper he said,

“I love you Beverly Crusher, I have loved you nearly half of my life.”

Her tears welled and slipped down her cheeks. He took the tears in his fingers and smiled tenderly.

“No my love, don’t cry. Now is not the time for sadness.”

She sighed and kissed the tip of his nose.

“I’m not sad my beloved, in fact I’m happy. It’s just that I’ve wasted so much time. I should have told you…”

“Shh. You’ve told me now, at least I think you have…”

Beverly chuckled softly.

“Oh Jean-Luc…for the record, I love you, with every fibre of my being, and I too have loved you for a very long time.”

His lips descended on hers again and he kissed her with all the love he could feel. When his hand gently cupped her breast she didn’t resist, in fact she moaned again. Emboldened, he kneaded the breast and when the nipple rose, he tweaked it and laid her back on the sofa.

When they were both lying with each other, Beverly snaked one hand between them and ran her fingers up the inside of his thigh. He sighed but when she gently caressed him through his trousers, he suddenly broke the kiss and sat up.


He looked down at himself and frowned deeply.

“Something’s wrong.”

“What is it?”

“I’m not…that is I haven’t got an…I don’t understand this. I’ve waited, I’ve fantasised about this for so long…and I can’t get an erection?”

He was becoming angry and Beverly strove to allay his pique.

“Jean-Luc, it’s alright…”

“Alright? I don’t think so Beverly…”

“No you don’t understand. You know those devices Bleck placed on your body? Well they caused some nerve damage. All those regen treatments you’ve been having restored the damage in your legs. It went so well; we thought you didn’t need to know just yet. I was hoping that the nerves to your genitals would have been repaired also.”

“You were hoping? When were you going to tell me? How long have you known?”

“We’ve known since you were first brought aboard and…”


“Doctor Selar and I.”

“How did you find out?”

Beverly reddened slightly and moved to take his hand.

“Really Jean-Luc that’s…”


“I put a stimulator on you penis and it failed to achieve an erection.”

“And you knew all this time…and Selar knows.”

Beverly nodded, not knowing quite what to say.

“I think you’d better leave.”


“Now Beverly, I want to be alone.”

Beverly rose and had one more go at reaching him.

“Please Jean-Luc, let me explain…”

He shook his head brusquely and stepped to the door, his head lowered.

As Beverly passed him she paused, but he didn’t acknowledge her. As the doors sighed closed she found herself out in the corridor.


Her next move was to enquire of the computer as to the whereabouts of Deanna Troi.



© Copyright 2018 Heather Smyth. All rights reserved.

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