Backdoor Fornicator

Backdoor Fornicator

Status: In Progress

Genre: Humor


Status: In Progress

Genre: Humor


A wife receiving backdoor sex, is attacked by her unexpectedly-arriving husband who knocks her about and then angrily punches her. The fornicator considers that's extreme punishment and flattens the husband. The fornicator returns home after 28 days in jail a hero for dealing with a wife-basher and other women line up to try him out.


A wife receiving backdoor sex, is attacked by her unexpectedly-arriving husband who knocks her about and then angrily punches her. The fornicator considers that's extreme punishment and flattens the husband. The fornicator returns home after 28 days in jail a hero for dealing with a wife-basher and other women line up to try him out.


Submitted: July 10, 2017

A A A | A A A


Submitted: July 10, 2017



Chapter 1

Harry Yates, the sole director of a home renovation firm in the town of Dairy Flat in the District of Birling, was released from jail after serving the full 28 days of his sentence by Judge Judy Gates, who called the offence ‘an unfortunate event’.

The couple were caught in the act by Cyril Adams who arrived home unexpectedly. He was understandably enraged to find his wife Anne entertaining Harry. Both were fully nude, humping on the living room sofa.

The couple separated and scrambled to the floor, Anne being the last to regain her footing because she’d been underneath and lying face down.

Cyril ignored Harry and began slapping his wife about. 

At first, Harry chose not to intervene as he believed a husband had certain marital rights/responsibilities/role model duties. But when abusive Cyril closed a fist and punched his adulterous wife hard over the left ear, she screamed.

Furious, Harry leapt at the attacker and felled Cyril with a headbutt to the wife beater’s brow.

The fornicator left hurriedly with his clothes, dressing on the front lawn and two hours later was arrested and charged with assault.

Although invited by the police to make a complaint about domestic violence, Anne declined as she was focused on attempting to win full reconciliation with her husband. Thus, in the interests of law enforcement, the police initiated a public prosecution and targeted Harry, figuring they had the obvious target for courtroom success as a head-butt was universally rated a vile personal weapon.

Anne resigned as one of Harry’s three female office assistants in his business, ashamed at having lured him to her home to appease her unfulfilled desire to experience anal sex. She’d learned from a sexy female friend that divorced Harry was the man to deliver that expertly.


On the day of his release from jail, Harry waited until nightfall to return to his newly renovated flat over his business in the centre of Dairy Flat’s main shopping street. Next morning, he began work at 6 am in his office half-expecting his remaining two office staff, unless already gone, to flee in fear and loathing when they saw he’d returned and that triggering a new surge in their anger over what Harry had done to their former workmate and her husband.

Gillian the receptionist arrived first.

The 21-year-old’s face lit in surprise and she smiled and said, “Welcome back my horny boss. We lost three clients after news of your naughtiness became public but don’t despair, we’ve received several new clients, all female and mostly business owners, to make up for that loss.”

“You are a hero to at least half this town Harry, not as a seducer but for dealing effectively with an abusive husband.”

“Really?” Harry gaped.

“Yes Harry,” said his arriving recently promoted senior assistant Mrs Mary Gladstone, a partly-qualified accountant or ‘bookkeeper’ as her formal status used to be called.

Mary kissed her boss, who was 40 and somewhat physically appealing, and said: “I would have offered you my arse but unfortunately I’ll now too old and set in my ways to venture into that caper.”

Gillian chipped in shyly, “You could have my anal virginity Harry but I have no wish to suffer my mother’s wrath if she found out as I still live at home.”

“After details of your erotic adventure ending in heroic curbing of domestic violence appeared in the local newspaper, mother demanded that I resign from my job. Fortunately for me, dad over-ruled her, reminding mum that you pulled me from the ranks of the unemployed after dad pleaded with you at the golf club two years ago to give me a trial at replacing our neighbour Mrs Street whom he knew would be leaving your employ as receptionist later that month.”

Surprised at the goodwill being expressed, Harry said, “I don’t know what to say… I…I never expected this reception after being such a disgrace.”

“That’s crap Harry,” Mary said. “Anne has a great butt and many citizens will accept you fell to temptation. Although you will be continued to be ostracized by some, I reckon the majority of people who know about this matter will simply regard it as unlucky that you were caught out and unreasonably punished.”

“Now give me a hug and squeeze my butt and let’s get to work. Oh, here comes Dulcie who I hired to replace Anne. Dulcie is gay Harry and so no attempted hanky-panky with her. You should be safe in this office but I can’t say that’s the situation with your female clients because you have established a reputation that will be difficult for some of them to ignore.”

Harry hugged Mary by the shoulders, avoiding her earlier instruction to squeeze her skinny butt.

He smiled at Miss Abbott and said. “Good morning Dulcie.?”

She nodded stiffly. They had been in the same class at high school.

“Keep your distance from me Harry and we’ll be fine. No doubt Mary has explained that I accepted her offer to work here subject to your approval. I live in a relationship with Marjorie White. You’ll remember her and guess what that means. She calls herself Marj these days.”

“Yes, I remember her well. Good choice and I respect your decision. I also recall you completed your second year in accountancy before joining a cruise company as a trainee hostess.”

“Correct and I never completed my degree.”

“Well, welcome Dulcie. Mary made a great choice. Place Dulcie on our permanent staffing list as from today Mary.”

“Oh great,” Dulcie cried. “Um you don’t think…”

“Your sexual preference is your business,” Harry said, holding out his hand.

Ignoring the offer of a handshake, Dulcie kissed him lightly on the lips.

Harry whispered that he was tempted to squeeze her arse.

“Don’t you dare you motherfucker,” she whispered into his ear, pulling away smiling.

“Well Harry, that’s confirmation your appeal to women,” Mary said, clapping her hands and scolding, “To work everyone.”

When Harry booted his computer, he found Mary had sent him a list naming the three departed clients, four new clients and two intending clients waiting to obtain plans of their renovations from home design consultants before signing contracts with Harry Yates Home Renovation Construction Ltd.

A second message from Mary was a letter calling him to a disciplinary hearing of the town’s business and professional association of which he was vice-president.

Mary attached her covering note: “Don’t worry about this. Without your permission, I discussed it with my husband, who as you know is a Crown Prosecutor and he said it was likely you’ll get nothing more than a rap over the knuckles. Any greater punishment would likely be overturned if you threatened the association with legal action because you were handed down the minimum sentence for a minor offence. Clearly, the record shows you went to the defence of the woman you were compromised with and who was being viciously attacked.”

He fired back an email to Mary “You are fired if your comforting message becomes seriously incorrect.”

She replied immediately and provocatively, “Don’t mess with me Motherfucker.”

Harry smiled and wonder what compelled decent women these days to update and use disgusting words such as M-F or C.

His computer buzzed the arrival of another email, again from Mary.

It read:

You did brilliantly by calling in your ex-wife to manage the business while you were sampling prison life. Nikki operated competently and the boys on our projects loved having her back supervising again. Nikki confessed she really missed the work she did as your deputy for many years and asked if I thought there was a chance of you being imprisoned again, hopefully for a much longer period than twenty-eight days. She appeared disappointed at my reply.

I paid off Nikki yesterday after receiving your telephone call from prison and she was delighted to receive the 15% bonus as per your instruction. She is blooming and says her new husband’s dick is smaller than yours and uses it only once a week, much to her relief, and he spoils her rotten.

Harry sighed, thinking they probably would be still married has she not caught him giving the senior school girl from next door expert sex instruction on Nikki’s antique chaise lounge. That horrible looking piece of furniture had cost her almost the same price of a small luxury car. He had been on the warning of ‘one more filthy indiscretion Arsehole and our marriage is over’. Off went Nikki with all her stuff, including her precious piece of furniture.

Gillian popped into his office (she liked to stretch her legs) and said she had a Mrs Ryan, one of the possible new clients on the phone, asking could she come in at 4:00 on Friday with completed plans for Harry and his team to cost-out and she wanted to meet Harry briefly to introduce herself.

He said dryly to the receptionist, “God have you ever known a woman to drop in for only two minutes just to say hello?”

“I’m barely out of my teens Harry so how would I know?”

“Tell her okay but don’t add what I just said to you. Um. are your boobs still growing?” he said in surprise, eyes fixed on her chest.

“God, Harry, what would my boyfriend say if I told him what you just said?”

“He’d probably say I had a sharp eye for an older bloke.”

Gillian left the office giggling and Harry entered the Friday appointment on his computer calendar.



Chapter 2

Gillian entered Harry’s office on Friday afternoon just as he ended a phone conversation and she said, looking over her shoulder, “Mr Yates, here’s our new client Mrs Ryan arriving for her appointment.”

Harry checked the time, saw it was almost 4.30 and sighed, accepting that arriving half-an-hour late meant nothing to some women. He heard Gillian making the introductions but wasn’t listening. Mrs Yates looked a honey and she was on the right side of forty.

“I’m pleased to meet you Mr Yates,” she cooed, and Harry only just caught the sight of the tip of her tongue between her closing lips before it disappeared and noted her breasts were pushed forward.

He also caught the expression of awe on Gillian’s face and guessed this was her first experience of watching a vamp in action. The visitor had stepped forward and the young receptionist backed out of the office as if desperate to witness closer engagement of the woman with her prey.

But not to be.

Harry, standing at the side of his desk, pointed to a chair and said, “Please sit Mrs Ryan and call me Harry.”

“I’ll do that providing you call me Scarlett.”

“Certainly, Scarlett.”

She showed him teeth as her smile broadened.

Harry walked to the vacant chair facing her, wondering why she wanted to see him. She could have had the plans and specifications for the required renovations delivered.

“I left our plants and specifications with your receptionist,” Scarlett said, re-crossing her legs for the second time well within a minute. She saw Harry’s eyes were fixed on her legs and smiled as she shifted the hand on her upper knee to adjust her dress at her cleavage, not that any noticeable adjustment occurred.

He figured she was playing with him and was comfortable about that.

“Yes Harry?”

He replied immediately.

“I compliment you for having such a delightful looking body.”

“Ooh Harry, you obviously appreciate a womanly woman.”

He nodded, thinking he knew what that meant.

“May I explain myself?”

“Yes certainly.”

“My husband, who is in his mid-fifties, is wealthy but sadly for me his libido is diminishing. He has put me in charge of our renovation project and I have decided to let the contract for that work to you, providing your quotation is within the ballpark estimate our designer gave Richard.”

Harry rapidly checked out her knees and tits again and said in a professional manner, “We are aware of current market pricing Scarlett and, furthermore, we quote on work realistically, applying only reasonable margins. Our policy is not screw out clients.”

“Not to screw your clients?” Scarlett said, raising an eyebrow.

“That term is used in the sense of not applying margins greedily.”

“Omigod, you had me worried for a few seconds Harry,” Scarlett said, cupping her left breast and raising it a little.

She held that pose and waited until Harry lifted his gaze to meet her stare.

She said she realized Harry was aware she was flirting with him and appeared cool about that.

He said smoothly, keeping it simple, “You are a pending new client and so I should avoid upsetting you before we understand one another better and become bound in a business relationship.”

“That’s sensible thinking and right now I feel confident if I began fingering myself in front of you that you’d merely smile and I’d think that was utterly cool.”

Harry delivered his best smile.

“Omigod, Harry. May I talk sex with you, um frankly?”

He walked over to the door, locked it, and sat back into his chair and nodded.

“Harry, I read a jazzed-up story in a Sunday newspaper based on the proceedings of your court appearance that included some details of the anal sex you had with that woman and the reaction of her husband who knocked her about, targeting her rather than you and you turned out his lights with a well-judged head butt. At that point, I realized my nipples were attempting to push through my bra and my pussy was leaking. Omigod Harry, I hadn’t been so sexually excited in at least a decade.”

“Wow,” Harry said, wondering how any woman could get off by reading a story in a Sunday newspaper aimed at appeasing under-performers, people interested in how others get sexual gratification and those who regret they may never be thrust into experiencing unbelievable sexual climaxes.

Encouraged by Harry’s “Wow!”, Scarlett pounced.

“Harry, you deliver us top renovations at a realistic price and I’ll allow you to take my anal virginity.”

He said reluctantly, “Alas Scarlett, I cannot accept your generous offer tied to contractual performance as I believe business and sex are best not coupled.”

“Oh no, but why?”

“In a business sense, it seems immoral, and in my mind in certain circumstances it could be linked with possible corruption.”

“But I never would…”

“I understand, but nevertheless I can’t accept the terms of your offer.”

“Harry, are you in the process of descending into loss of libido?”

“Definitely not Scarlett. I believe it’s as hard and performs as well as it has since I first began rutting with it.”

“Omigod Harry, you are such an interesting challenge. Um, can you suggest an alternative plan that is acceptable to you?”

Harry thought for a moment and smiled.

“Yes of course. We could separate your job quotation from your ambition for your arse.”

“Yes, and gladly but in what order?”

“You choose.”

Scarlett said excitedly, “I’ve been thinking of you being up my butt ever since reading that article about you. Let’s rut as soon as we can. Just the one session is all I require, at least for now. I just wish to start with you after that woman witness told the judge that you are the best butt-fucker she’s ever experienced, indicating I believe that she’s had many. Even the judge appeared interested in her claim when reprimanding the witness for unnecessarily resorting to gutter language.”

“Okay Scarlett, I accept your order of preference. If I don’t perform up to your expectations, which is highly unlikely and you withdraw you offer, so be it. However, what will motivate me is I suspect you have a great butt with a body like yours.”

“Ooh Harry, take me out to a bar for a drink or two now and we can plan adultery.”

Harry unlocked the door and as they went leaving, Harry called to Gillian that he and Mrs Ryan were going out for coffee and asked the receptionist to lock up when leaving after 5:00.

*  *  *

Scarlett, who says she still can’t believe that Backdoor Harry, as she playfully calls him, almost turned her down when offered her anal virginity. She continues to go to him every couple of weeks or so for sex and loves the renovations and standard of workmanship that Harry’s team under his personal supervision delivered for her and her husband.

Furthermore, in just two months Scarlett has sent six of her friends who claim they’ve never had backdoor sex, to Harry for, um, servicing. Two of those women are contemplating engaging Harry’s firm to design and carry out renovations to their homes and three more and their husbands have just signed renovation contracts with Harry. The sixth friend shrieked and fled after seeing the size of Harry’s dick but as Scarlett explained, Sue tended to be such a wimp.

Harry, who’s lost weight and appears very happy, was pleased to learn from Mary his office manager yesterday that she required authority to appoint another office senior. He agreed with her that their business activity had never been better in all her years she’d been working with Harry.

“I’ve also noticed that the majority of our new business clients are female Harry. I wonder why that significant change has occurred?”

“Guess,” Harry smirked and Mary’s face turned scarlet.


 The End

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