Untamed Heart

Untamed Heart

Status: Finished

Genre: Romance

Details

Status: Finished

Genre: Romance

Summary

Love is love, even in small doses..

Summary

Love is love, even in small doses..

Content

Submitted: January 01, 2017

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Content

Submitted: January 01, 2017

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So here we go again, just this paper and pen, my only true 2 friends that I can depend on when my heart still needs more time to bleed  & mend from being broken time and time again. I don't like how my mind keeps thinking  of you, but no matter how many times i tell it not to it never listens to me. I know you see right through me, the translucency of my hopeless heart wishes you really knew the real me. I don't know exactly what you did to me, but it wont stop working and I hate it. Maybe your love just out grew me and your change of heart made new arrangements.  Lately these sunny days seem so dark and I'm just trying to prevent my heart from falling apart to the pavement. Perhaps that's when I'll finally get to see a rose grow from concrete.  I hate how I want you back, but we're so toxic and our history shows that it almost always repeats. Sometimes I lose track of time, replaying the good times in my mind, but then I remember you weren't only mine, which starts restoring the lows of feeling unkind and incomplete. You were my only retreat to get away from the nothing I was before you met me. Even tho it was more bitter than sweet, I'm still grateful we got to meet adding life to a empty hollow shell, withered and worn washed ashore from the sea. I accept that you played me and did me Hella shady, I didn't mind playing the fool for you, as long as I knew you were my lady. My only regret is that I didn't have the strength to keep playing the fool, but if you would've just been content and cool I wouldve never gave up on you, but you made me. This whole thing is so crazy, becuz I always pictured me and you getting married, having a baby, and  then  just maybe my delusional point of view would start fading. We both have our own bad habits, but we still found a way to manage to cover the truth with a bandage. The saddest part is if you ever asked for my heart, I would literally rip it out my chest and let you have it. From the start I fell more in love with you, but you didnt know what to do becuz you already knew you had it. I remember telling myself that one day your tears won't work on me anymore. I had to put my childish ways on the shelf, even if that meant facing my fear of you deciding you no longer wanted to be here and leaving me feeling torn. I showed you a side of me that no one has ever seen, I was embarrassed that I cried in front of you when I told you my older brother died and how I just wish it was a bad dream. My gullibility wanted me to believe that if I opened up, that you would fill those empty voids with love, but I've been known to be a victim of my own wishful thinking. Just like I'm doing now, hoping that if I just write these words that I could make things right, but push comes to shove and the window of opportunity is continuously shrinking. If it weren't for the Lord above, I would be self medicating with the finest pakalolo and heavy drinking. I don't like how this is how our goodbye is like, but sometimes love isn't the best thing for us becuz eyes were meant to do more than cry. Eventually we will suddenly reach the end of our time, they say life goes in the blink of an eye, so I will just keep blinking & dreaming until the day I die..ajg


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