Sex

'I love you so much but we have to end, cant take anymore, please look after yourself and stay happy', was the last text i sent to Peter, that was 1 week ago, my mind, body so tired of the emotional rollercaoster, i know he was the same, just glad its friday and time out with the girls, a release from my mind going wild thinking where or what he might be doing, god i love him but cant be with him. I have had some happy, a guy John, i grew up with contacted me about a month ago, old friends are good to talk to, they listen but dont judge, just friends until i split, you know, saucy words start, come up and stay, all very tempting but to soon. The night is going well, my friends are funny until i get a text, 'Hi its me, i know your out at your local, can i come down and buy you a drink, just a drink for old time sakes?', Peter, thats it, my head goes into turmoil, my heart racing fast, i cant take this, to soon and out of the blue, i give my phone to my friend to answer, she does, i start to drink fast, shot after shot hoping it will make me forget him if just for tonight, my phone on silent, im getting very drunk and my walk home seems very long on my own, silly i know but i really dont care, getting into my house i take my phone out, tears are falling down my cheeks, i need a friend, John, ' Hi its me, i know its late and i expect your asleep but i need a chat, im so down and in a mess.................' i send the text, make a cup of tea and sit on the floor, my phone rings, i just cry, sobbing like a little girl who needs a hug, a hug to take away all the pain, 'Look, come up, you know where i am, just come to me!' He says, i collect some clothes together in a bag and run out of the door, im almost excited to be going to see him, stupid me driving like this but i am desparate for a friend away from here. The  drive seems to take ages, i get to his house, a guy i have not seen since my growing up around the estste, opening the door i fling my arms around him, that cuddle seems so nice, we go in and he pours me a drink. We spend time catching up, my world is different here, no one to hurt me or make me cry, we laugh, just sitting, talking like old friends do, more drinks, music, this is fun, fun i have missed with Peter but he is not even in my mind. Now both being pretty drunk a touch, a kiss, a hold, his hands are on my body, my nipples are hard he can feel, the excitement is nice, i like it, the attention, the kissing is turning us both on, he stands up pulling me to, another kiss and we both know where we are going. The bedroom is dark, just blinds and a street light, im glad, having kids take away and give you a few curves you rarther want to keep to yourself, you know what i mean girls, we strip, his body is quite big, my mind flashes back to Peter, slim, dark soft skin, his smell but i have John here so i lay in the bed next to him, then its starts, his touch, his kisses, no, im not really enjoying this, my mind in its drunken state says i have to now, he expects more, his hands seem almost rough, grabing at me, his kisses a little sloppy, i dont let him touch me anywhere else, just my large breasts and hard nipples, he doesn't care, my neck is next, i hold and start to rub his cock, i want him to cum pretty quick, im wanting out as fast as i got in, he reaches over to the draw, takes out a durex and puts it on, kneeling above me, his tummy seems larger, placing himself ready just outside my pussy then a push, his body heavy, my eyes shut, tears are falling, pumping away like a wild animal, no emotion, no, talk just faint grunts, bitting at my nipples, burying his head in my neck, i will him to cum, tell him too, he does with a rew pushes, then just lays on top to catch his breath, gets off me laying next to me, asking me if he was ok, i tell him amazing, i get up and go to the toilet, a little sore, go back, we get dressed and drink tea in the kitchen, Sex is all he wanted. I drive to my mums just around the corner, let myself in and go to bed. The next day my mind a blank, just want to forget about my sordid little 30 mins i had. The next week all goes ok, my mind is all about Peter, we have been talking, getting on, even meeting then we spend a few nights together, my time with John is gone, still talk  to him from time to time but he only wants my body, not my soul or heart, making love is a word he can not say or do, Peter and i can and do. We are together now, happy as can be, enjoying eachother to the hilt, in love and happy but, i know that one day he may find out, if he does then my world and his will fall apart so i keep it to myself and just pray, was it worth it? No, but then without it i would not be so ln live with a man who is just so amazing. :)