Entrapment-Enju Koshira

Entrapment-Enju Koshira

Status: Finished

Genre: Gay and Lesbian

Details

Status: Finished

Genre: Gay and Lesbian

Summary

A story of two mens adventures in love and finding themselves.

Summary

A story of two mens adventures in love and finding themselves.

Chapter1 (v.1) - Entrapment-Enju Koshira

Author Chapter Note

A story of two mens adventures in love and finding themselves.

Chapter Content - ver.1

Submitted: March 03, 2011

Reads: 569

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Chapter Content - ver.1

Submitted: March 03, 2011

A A A

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It was funny how the needle sank so freely into his flesh, more amusing was the way the blood trickled against it - like dainty petals freeing their selves of the Sakura tree. One would find it both entertaining and outright terrifying to see someone’s fingers grasping the base of a syringe, inhaling sharply while staring blankly at the band around his arm. But the true horror was the chuckle from that young man’s lips as he let the venom in his system.

Insane?

Perhaps it was insanity or just the odd desire to feel anything besides reality, to numb one’s body and mind of all things around and to lure them into a false state of security.

Of course he expected Emi to be enraged over his current state, yet he found himself not fully able to care. Mind wavered in and out, blurring reality with fantasies.

He was recalling those children murmuring things that he never understood, the old ladies shouting at them, telling them to fall asleep. He wanted to forget these memories since nine years but he could not. The time during his ninth and eleventh year equalled a nightmare in hell or for the rest of the world - a child with dead parents and no relatives to care that ended up in an orphanage, a place where no one bothered about anyone's needs or desires, a place where life was an endless prayer for a graceful soul to come and take them away to a nice place they could call home.

Enju looked down breathing out heavily while letting his mind wonder. When people asked him about his parents in his head appeared the memory of an “accident”, a self – replaying movie that he started to believe in a long time ago. But the truth was far from it. The night when everything happened, when he gained freedom if only for a few brief moments in time, something snapped in Enju Koshira’s head. He remembered his mother passing out drunk on the bed and his father - belt in hand, beating him in the thighs till they were raw and bloody. And more reminiscences came - "…whore...slut...devil spawn", all words he knew…all words he heard in his childhood. Then it happened, the moment his brain simply shut off. He had to make them pay somehow. His body shuddered, everything seamed so unreal, yet at the same time it was an unavoidable fact.

“Pace yourself...if you move too fast they'll know what you're planning. Swiftly now…but not to swift...stalk your pray, then deliver the final blow.”

  His mind had gone completely insane from the constant abuse. Enju was careful, he had timed it all so perfectly: puncturing the gas line, leaving the stove on just high enough to create a spark. In an instant it was all over - his mother and father were gone, replaced by the thick ash and debris of the inferno. No one would know, they would never know his true killer instincts. Freedom was sweet while it lasted. He had thought the nightmare was over but in truth it was just beginning.

Drugs, how dare they make him remember that past, that lurid memory of an existence?

In an instant the door slammed open. A bleach blond girl in lolita clothes was standing there, glaring at him, both rage and hopelessness written on “her” face. “She” knew that the dumb idiot, that “she” was clinging on to so desperately did it again, tried to self-destruct. Why...why did “she” have to be the one who had to save him from himself? Why was “she” still coming back time after time? But now wasn't the time to think about such things. While in delirium everything could be expected from Enju - he could be a beast or a stray lamb that needed a Shepard and “she” would always be that Shepard. What would he be now?

Mind was completely gone as he breathed out, eyes shifted, blurry vision focussing on the outline of the one with him.

"Emi..." - he muttered low, too ashamed to fully face “her”.

“Damn boy...” - he was staring at Emi, wanting to strike but at the same time pull him close and cry. Once more his fingertips twitched, gripping nothing but air. "You think you know me....you...”

Drugs were tricky “playthings” that messed up his head until he couldn’t even tell what was real anymore. “You always leave..." - he breathed heavily as the other kneeled in front of him - "…you don't really care, do you? If I'm alive...if I'm dead...none of it really matters…“ - he pulled back then laughed. His eyes were distant and cold, revealing that he wasn't fully there.

“Little...whore...that’s what he called me, you know? Son of Lucifer...devil spawn…" - he continued laughing while holding onto the other’s shoulders - “...he was right...wasn't he? I'm evil...a terrible beast that doesn’t deserve to be here...right? Even you despise all I am. You would much rather kill me than truly love me. You don't...love me…“ - his grip was light and gentle, it only showed his fear - “You could never...love me, right Emi? You've told me before...so many times before…you hate me...you want me dead. You come here...so sweet and innocent…you make me want you and you...you leave me…“- Enju shifted his weight, still grasping those slender shoulders - “I don't know why I bother with a stupid boy like you...too dim-witted to understand...too...blind to realise my feelings.” - he bowed his head then trembled - “…too ignorant to see that I love you..." - he breathed out softly, something that made it hard to tell if he meant what he said.

“Yes, I am stupid to come back! Yes, I'm ignorant because I'm not doing a thing to stop you from poisoning yourself! I've told you countless times that I hate you because I care! If I repeated the opposite…that would have been worse! But how can you say that I would leave you!" - the tears started to flow down his chin. Ever since Emi met Enju, he wanted to say what he really felt but every occasion was spoiled by the egocentric bastard. Now hearing him say those words - it was more than a shock.

Mind was vacant once more. Pale eyes closed as Enju leaned up against Emi’s shoulder. It was odd how they needed each other so desperately, how they didn't feel safe when the other wasn’t around. Enju shivered, murmuring lowly. "....don't go...Emi…”


***

It was one of those gloomy autumn days. A child, not older than 10 was sitting on a park bench. At first sight nothing extraordinary but if you looked close - his face was bruised all over and his body was trembling. A young man was close by. He spotted the shaking preteen and slowly began to approach him at an even pace.

“Lost?" - he murmured lowly, his voice thick and lusty.

"No..." - the child replied in an uneven voice – “...are you Enju Koshira?"

Enju stared at the other, a brow slightly arched as he looked around then focussed on him. “Yes...but you’re definitely not Rimi...” - he whispered before sitting next to him - “Damn coward, sending a boy instead of a man...” He blinked noting the other’s bruised face before leaning back. “What did he do…beat you to submission?" - he frowned at the idea. Enju was as beautiful as an angel and yet as cruel and cold as a demon when he wanted to be but still he hated seeing others hurt. Slender fingers soon moved softly touching the child’s battered cheek. The little boy pulled away anxiously from the older male’s touch and rapidly handed over a little pill box, gazing with eyes that said: "Give me the money and let me go." But there were so many other things that could be read in the boy's eyes, the strongest of which were grief and pain.

“Why go back? You're free now, aren’t you? Who is it to say that you can't take the money and run?" Enju looked at the child’s questioning face but started to slowly walk away.

"Free? What does that mean?"

The teen stopped and turned his gaze towards the boy who looked beyond doubt clueless.
”Come with me” - he murmured lowly - “I don't bite. I promise I won’t heat you up and cook you!”

The infant looked around, searching for someone who could take him back to the orphanage and torture him for what he wanted to do but there was no one so he went after his new acquaintance. "Where are we going?"

Enju looked at him and smiled a little, taking the other’s hand - “My place…" - he whispered, while guiding the frail form next to him to a small studio apartment.

It really wasn't much, just a simple room, a bathroom off in the corner, a stove and fridge in the other end and a small twin bed in the centre. News articles were tacked up on the wall, most about fires and the others - about drugs.

The petite boy sat down on the said bed, holding close his knees, looking so pitiful and tired. He didn't speak, if looked at him he was very thin, till a level where you could take it for malnourishment. His hair was long and his skin - soft and pale, in a few words - if he was wearing a dress you could mistake him with a girl.

“Hey what’s your name?”

“It’s Emi…Emimaru.” – with that the conversation ended. It seamed neither wanted to disturb the silence after it.

Emi looked at Enju and asked once again “What does it mean to be free?".

Emimaru Yukihima never knew what it meant to live out of an orphanage, never knew what it meant to have a home. He was a lost soul that so many used for their own purposes.

"It means not living to one’s expectations, doing what you want when you want to" – Enju scowled. This child was cute but insanely naive.

"So if I want to end my life and do it...does it mean that I'll be free?"

Enju blinked, a brow arching - "No, that would make you dead and unvaluable." – he stepped closer. Emi looked away, sure he didn't mean what he just said but the older boy seamed a bit strange so why not go in weirdo mode himself.

The teen stared down at Emi for a moment before settling at his side. "You're odd…" - he whispered, taking Emi’s hand and gripping it - "…I hate orphanages…" - he whisperred once again. Slowly his hand trailed away from the other’s fingers down to his lap. Then he stood up and walked to the fridge.

“What will you do to me?” - some kids could surprise people, Emi was one of them.

The older male turned around - "Nothing for now. But dare to get on my nerves and that will change quickly.”

"You're an addict, aren't you? That "getting on my nerves" can be anytime and because of that I'll be going now?

"And where will you go?”

“There are a lot of perverts out there, someone'll surely take me in. Don't bother with me, don't pretend to be nice, it's clear you're not that kind of a person.”

The adolescent stared at Emi - "No, Im not that kind of person, but it dosent mean thar I don’t get lonely." With those words he gave him a plate with a sandwich on it.

“You know, don't treat me nice, I'm not that pure or innocent. Just let me be." – Emi started his walk towards the door.

Quikly Enju stood up and grabbed the boy’s arm, then dragged him back to the bed - "Stupid kid, do you want to get yourself  killed?"

"What I said before wasn't far from the truth. Tell me...no one ever needed me, no one ever said a nice thing to me...why should I want to be alive?

Enju climbed over Emi, straddling the his waist - "You're really odd...what do you want? Abuse? Pain?"

Emi looked confused. Should he tell the other where the bruises on his face were from? Should he tell him that he preferred physical pain so he could forget his mental one?

"I don't know, maybe..."

Enju stared down at him, keeping him pinned down - "Silly …" – he pressed against Emi as his tongue slowly moved along one of those bruises.

"Stop! Let me go!" - the little boy shouted but his pleas were ignored.

Enju looked at the other. Seeing the child’s tears and despair made him remember something that he tried to burry deep in his mind. He let go of Emi’s hands and rolled off the bed.

“I’m sorry. I should know when to stop " – he muttered as he took out the pill box and examined its content  - "Go on, let the world eat you alive!"

Emi gave him a glare but ran to him and managed to make the pills fall to the ground before Enju could swallow them. "You know when to stop, yeah right!"

“What I do is really no business of yours! Who gives a shit about me or my life anyway?"

"I don't give a damn but those pills will kill you soon and then I wouldn't have a place to stay!" No point in clearing up that though shy and anxious Emi was egocentric. The children at the orphanage tried to stay away from him, telling ”He's a psycho and no fun..." and the adults referred to him as "that boy". Why you might ask? Emimaru was smart enough to understand the adult world and had the nerve to unveil the lies of the people around him and due to that they made him believe that he was left behind because of “his insanity”.

Enju looked over to Emi and arched a brow at him before ruffling his hair, slowly dropping his hand down and cupping his chin. “You’re so clueless....it makes you adorable"

"Huh? Adorable? Nobody called me that, they always said I'm abnormal and tended to run away from me." - and that was accompanied by a little pout on a slightly blushing face.

Enju didn't have the heart to hurt him now. His hand moved tenderly through the other’s mane - “I’m not the most normal of people"

“I can tell that but at least you look like a runaway and not a child that was left behind right after its birth. And why did you touch me like that, do you like boys instead of girls or does a nut-job like me finally have a purpose?" - the frown on Emi's face was permanent.

"I like boys, yes…" - he whispered, looking over to him, smiling a little, stroking the other’s cheek tenderly before settling on the edge of his bed, hair falling into his face, thinking.

Emi snuggled next to him. "You said “like”. That's enough for me."

Enju looked at Emi, slowly and gently he covered him with the soft wool blanket that was beside them. Ready or not, he could tell that this boy would change his life.

***

"Enju, you damn bastard! Wake up! Enju!!!" - but the other wouldn't open his eyes.

Emimaru called an ambulance but it seamed that it took ages for it to come. He embraced the now lump body, tears were flowing down his cheeks, curses and names were leaving his lips but he didn’t lift his embrace or stopped kissing Enju once.

“What the hell was he thinking? He had sworn he would stop and what had he done – lied. He is a liar and nothing else but that.”

Emi’s fingers tightened their grip on Enju’s shoulders. He was half-tempted to desert him, to just drop him and leave him there, damning him over and over in his mind. But that wouldn't happen. Sure they had their wars but Emi always knew he had someone to come back to and now that someone was fading away. Stupid self-destructive bomb, yes that was what Enju Koshira was. Emi’s body was numbing down holding onto Enju, asking himself how dare he do this to him. He shuddered holding the unconscious body closer - “You hear me Enju? Do you hear..." - he muttered while clasping him tighter - “I hate you, I hate you! You always make a mess out of me so if you die…I won't get out of this one! I need you to wake up, to tell you my opinion so that we can get even! Wake up....please, my love!" - the tears couldn't stop and Emi felt so helpless, so pathetic. If his personal demon died…he would follow him.

The ambulance finally came. The paramedics had to drag Emi apart from Enju. All the emotions and thoughts made the sixteen years old faint at that moment. He woke up several hours later in a hospital bed. A nurse told him what happened and that the man who was brought with him had fallen into a coma.


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