Emma's Bedroom Talk (12/8/13)

Emma's Bedroom Talk (12/8/13) Emma's Bedroom Talk (12/8/13)

Status: Finished

Genre: Erotica

Details

Status: Finished

Genre: Erotica

Summary

This time I am sharing how Jesus Christ entered my life. I was not going to however LulcverDeVil asked me what happens in 2018. I had to respond. Yes, it is very lengthy and probably very inappropriate on this site. But it offers incite to my daily struggles that may be plaguing you, friend or family member. Although I still struggle I came out of what people call my depression without drugs of medical therapy. But I did get lots of blood work done.

Summary

This time I am sharing how Jesus Christ entered my life. I was not going to however LulcverDeVil asked me what happens in 2018. I had to respond. Yes, it is very lengthy and probably very inappropriate on this site. But it offers incite to my daily struggles that may be plaguing you, friend or family member. Although I still struggle I came out of what people call my depression without drugs of medical therapy. But I did get lots of blood work done.

Content

Submitted: December 08, 2013

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Content

Submitted: December 08, 2013

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Hi Everyone,December 8, 2013
What is happening in 2018, Emma? (fan quote)
To my surprise I had a response to my post after only two days!  In further surprise this same person became my first fan.  My stories are based solely on my personal life and include very real experiences that have rocked my world.  Although most people could easily answer his question with a typical response I cannot.  I do not have any celebrations such as a wedding, wedding anniversary, retirement date or any a multitude of possibilities to anticipate. 
Instead 2018 represents a bright future for my family determined by Faith, patience, and a relentless search to find myself once and for all.  Huge factors in my transformation are three people.  The first person is my husband of 24 ½ years who has been my friend, lover, and a gigantic pain in the rear.  The second is my friend Doris who has known me for 23 years.  She has listened to all of my stories, watched me cry endlessly and has given me support as well as things.  The third person is my Mystery Man who roared into my life this year urging me gently to make personal changes regarding every facet of my life. 
Add into the mix I have two kids ages 15 and 18 who both live at home and you must think I have enough people to control me.  Of course this is me so I had to add one more ingredient.  On April 26, 2013 I asked Jesus Christ into my life.  One of the above mentioned people sat down with me for 2 hours explaining that my life was a complete utter mess.  To quote this person exactly she said I was “Out of control” defining my personal status as a wreck.  She pointed out that my kids were out of control, my finances were a train wreck, and that I had zero control of my food.
I felt like I was hit in the head by a baseball bat.  As a great mentor she explained that I was missing Jesus Christ.  I looked at her as if she had three heads.  As she spoke I felt stunned.  After all I was/am Catholic therefore I had a relationship with God right?  I assumed since I went to church occasionally, was married in a Catholic Church, did good deeds, and prayed my version of the Rosary that I had an automatic in to heaven.  Well, soon I was shocked to learn that I was nowhere close to getting into the Pearly Gates above.  No, indeed I would spend eternity burning with ax murders, child molesters, and other scary souls.  Certainly that is how I plan to spend my afterlife.
Therefore two hours later I was physically exhausted from learning my fate.  I had also, done a little research on my private life to prove to her that she was wrong and owed me an apology.  Instead I found out my son Joey, (15) was flunking science and advanced math.  How could this be?  After all every night I asked him how school was he answered the same way.  “School is school, my grades are fine.”I had ignored my daughter’s weight issue for over a year.  Realizing at 5’ 4” she weighs over a whopping 250 lbs.  This is a battle I have struggled with since she was 4 years old and her pediatrician warned me of her being obese as a young adult.
 Feeding into pressure from my relatives to tell her to lose weight I did.  Only I was brutal, pissed off, and hurt that my child was struggling with food.  As a teenager my sister said the same things to me.  I grew to resent her immensely.  One day a few years ago I called her fat while she was in the fitting room at Kohl’s Department Store.  I was relentless about it.  After all she was around 15 years old and tugging up the largest size pants in the juniors department.  It was obvious that she needed size 18 jeans.  When she refused to listen I blurted out my pent up hostility towards her weight and appearance.  Oddly enough I was confused after we purchased a pair of jeans for $40 that she no longer wanted to go to the party.
As I sat with my friend staring at me I really tried to keep my composure together still hoping there was a grain of hope I would make it into heaven in the distant future.  When I got home I took a long bath this time not to relax but to ask Jesus Christ into my life and burst into tears.  I sobbed for another 2 hours uncontrollably.  With tears flowing endlessly I asked Christ to forgive me for everything.  When I finally got out the water was ice cold, the house was empty, and I felt different.  I cannot explain the emotions running through me at all.
By the time Monday rolled around I was a complete disaster.  I looked like shit and felt worse.  Over the next two months I worked hard at losing weight.  I screamed at Joey for days insisting he pull up his grades by May 2013.  If not he would be kicked out of his Jr. Engineering Program that he tested into for the upcoming year as a Freshman.  I quit eating all junk food.  I worked hard at talking to my daughter Renee who by this time had ceased talking to me at all. 
Despite these positive changes I continued crying daily.  I mean all day long!  I was at work in my brand new job for 2 months and could not get my act together.  If it were not for my mentor Meredith I would have been fired.  She covered my back daily by reminding me to dry my eyes, stop spacing out, and telling me when our boss was coming.  I had another friend challenge me during this turbulent time and told me: “I should consider that I did not get Jesus Christ into my life.”  Then she went on to say that at age 48 I was more likely going through menopause.
Wow!  A good friend just compared Jesus Christ to menopause!  That sent me into a complete tail spin.  I was shocked by her response and told everyone about it including Mystery Man.  My life was supposed to be getting enriched spiritually, mentally, and physically.  Well at least my body was continuing to look better.  That was a plus.  Also, Joey pulled Science up to a C and Math up to a B keeping him in his program.  But that was not enough something was surely missing in my new lifestyle.  The more I tried to fix my life the worse it got.  At this rate 2018 was going to be a continuation of the past instead of my bright beginning.
Then on Friday June 21, 2013 I heard the most life altering words ever.  A person said:  “Emma you are fucked-up.”  I tried to play this off too.  Then it dawned on me that I had an amazing opportunity to walk with Jesus Christ and instead I was stuck in a one person pity party.  The only difference from my pity party that lasted from August 2012- February 2013 was I actually functioned as a person.  For those six months I did nothing but lay on the couch, watch TV, eat endlessly, nap, and then added alcohol daily to the equation for the last month.

By Tuesday of the next week I was a mess once more.  I could not think right, Mystery Man had grown tired of me and stopped emailing me, my summer job was wrapping up, hubby and I were just muddling along still no active sex life despite my efforts.  Yup, my couch spot was calling my name, my house was a tornado zone and Renee still hated me.  I made up my mind to quit my job for the upcoming Fall, buy junk food, liquor, and tell hubby he was going to have to be the sole provider again.
Then I tried to get up and was literally frozen.  I could not stand or feel anything.  I looked up at a green butterfly hanging by my door.  It is supposed to remind me: “No wormy thoughts. God is turning my scares into stars for his glory.”  I called out to Jesus Christ with more tears rolling down my cheeks.  Within seconds I felt his heavy directions to “GET UP, CLEAN THE KITCHEN, COOK DINNER AND GO FOR A WALK.”  I obeyed without question and felt better.
Later that night I picked a fight with hubby after we finished eating dinner.I was convinced I needed help and direction.  That next morning hubby woke me up at 5 am to tell me he knew God was trying to send him a message with me fighting with him.  The odd thing is I never shared that experience with him.  Then when I logged into my email I had an unexpected message from Mystery Man.  I believe this was God saying I passed this one specific test.
As I conclude finally I know. LOL I wish I could say I was healed and life is grand.  I want to share that I know clear as day the person I will be in 2018.  But to say that would be a lie.  I had a CRAZY week this past week.  I was hit on by a 30 year old man who promised to “Open my eyes in sex”, but he added I must file divorce papers.  I fell for his charm when he called me a beautiful woman.  By Wednesday I blurted out to hubby I wanted a divorce.  That went over like a lead balloon.  By Friday I told Mystery Man about that man.  He quickly brought me to my senses.  I then told that handsome 30 year old to fuck-Off and instantly felt remorse.  Then on Friday night hubby and I went to a three day Family Life Conference for married couples where we renewed our wedding vows as a group. 
Within a few hours our honeymoon was over and we had a fight of the way home from the conference.  Oh yeah, I forgot hubby and I also made-out on the couch outside the fitting room.  Then I had to ask for my clothes back from the sales associate who was not happy with us kissing on the couch.  She made a comment as she handed me my crumpled clothes back.  Good thing or I would have been arrested for either shoplifting the $89 dress (like I could afford that) or picked up for wearing out my lacy bra and pink thong.  Anyway my kitchen needs to be cleaned and I have to pick up my clothes.  I am looking forward to 2018 but I am praying it gets better than now.
Thank-you for reading, Emma
Please feel free to inbox me or leave a comment.You do not have to agree but, I would appreciate if you are kind in your response. 

 


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