The Lifting of the Shame

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksiesilk Classic Group


Image by John Hain from Pixabay 

 

Welcome.
Ecstatic.

Passionate.
Obsessed.

Tantalized.
Consumed.

Surrender.
Thrilling.

Lascivious.
Naughty.

Erotic.
Sensual.

Delectable.
Pleasurable.

Aroused.
Satisfied.

I find myself solemn and indulgent deep within my own spirit. 
My brain won’t step in and tell me no. 
I stumble within my fragile conscience as weak and unknowing while my subconsciousness renders silence.
Do you find I am selfish, cruel, or cold?

Do you abandon me so soon?
Has my savory indulgence turned you away?
Where has the desire gone?
Has your passion abandoned you?

I am now free.
Free to feel aroused.
Free to surrender.
Free to please.


Submitted: February 18, 2021

© Copyright 2021 Elenore B Rigby. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:

Comments

VanillaEssence

To me anyway this is a fabulous literary version of abstract art.
simple and attractive but aggresive to the senses.

Thu, February 18th, 2021 6:13am

Author
Reply

Thank you.

Wed, February 17th, 2021 10:23pm

Spyguy

Free to love, to be loved, & to brighten the world with verse!!!

Fri, February 19th, 2021 10:38am

DampKitten

You're a deep thinker. I love the image reference. I've read this piece over several times as it deserves because of its depth. I love the concept of 'fragile conscience'...that mystical impalpable substance that steers our ethical compass.

What you're describing is an awakening within the spirit, but the counterintuitive imagery is not a stereotypical starburst elation. Rather, the experience is 'solemn' and unabraded by the inner protective mechanisms. "Savory indulgence" is such a vague and intriguing term that's so poetically suggestive. You've chosen your words well to provide a misty implication.

I like how you move into second person narrative, addressing what sounds like a lover, and inquiring the effect of this revelation. This is a confession but not an apology.

The final stanza is definitive and assertive. A statement of power and prerogative. I like Vanilla's take (abstract art), but I think it's more inspired by that than representative.

As I scanned through the opening lineage of single words, I found them to be haphazardly placed. These are meant to present the multiple emotions of the speaker as an introduction to discourse. However, I think it would be even better if the words were placed in such a way as to infer a direction of change, providing a significance not only to the words themselves but also their position in the piece.

Sat, February 20th, 2021 5:25pm

Author
Reply

Thank you! I wondered about the arrangement of the single words, but didn't give it much thought. I usually do try to arrange words so they compliment. I will look at it again. You're makin' me work! LOL But it's good for my brain.

Sat, February 20th, 2021 11:19am

DampKitten

I like it

Sun, February 21st, 2021 5:13am

Author
Reply

( : I'm glad, me too.

Sun, February 21st, 2021 5:36am

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