What did you do today??? Logged in to Facebook

What did you do today??? Logged in to Facebook

Status: Finished

Genre: Humor

Details

Status: Finished

Genre: Humor

Summary

What would happen, If facebook would shutdown??

Summary

What would happen, If facebook would shutdown??

Content

Submitted: August 18, 2011

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Content

Submitted: August 18, 2011

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Dedicated to: All those idiots who were extremely disappointed on the news of Facebook shutting down (I am sure they had very important reasons) and think they can’t live without facebook. It is just a networking site. Please go out and meet three-dimensional people.

I got a mail today, which said that Facebook is going to end on 15th march, 2011. It mentioned that Facebook has, ostensibly, ruined Zuckerberg’s life (Yea…sure!!! When you have millions in your bank accounts and a movie made on your life, shoots up to the top at the box office, obviously, life does get a little screwed up…).

Anyways, it mentioned that Zuckerberg has made up his mind and there is no stopping the end of Facebook. Now, I highly doubt the authenticity of such tittle-tattle, but have you ever imagined what the world would look like, if there was no Facebook? I ain’t kidding fellas, I can imagine a few petrified faces out there right now reading this post. Don’t worry you maniacs!!! It’s just an assumption!! Now, Can you do that for me???

Ok, let me paint a lil picture for all those fanatics out there. Let’s see how, Aelita (pronounced as eye-lee-tuh) reacts to the whole situation. I would like to make you a bit familiar with Aelita, so that you people could relate more to her. Think of the biggest bitch you have ever met. Mean and a self-obsessed biaatch!!!! Short and simple. So, are we good now??? Okay!!! Here goes.

It’s a crisp Sunday afternoon. Aelita, just woke up from her “siesta” and is extremely tired from the rocking party she had yesterday at her friend’s place. Clad in a white tee, that says, I love ma Baby, and pink tiny shorts, she is looking hair-raisingly beauteous (Considering that she’s a bitch, She has gotta be HOT and dumb as well!!! I know guys what you are thinking right now. This is such an alluring blend, isn’t it??). Brunch (Spinach and Bacon Fritatta, with orange juice on the side) has been served in her heart-shaped bed. Her lil male Chihuahua, Peanut, is roving around the foot of her bed in anticipation of some tasty treats falling down. While having a bite, she calls up one of her girlfriends to makes plans for the evening. She grabs her laptop in one hand and Peanut in the other hand. The dog is ecstatic and probably has a smirk on his face. Peanut sits on her lap and makes an unsuccessful attempt on the omelet. Now, imagine when a hot chick like Aelita goes to a bash which has booze and boys, no matter what happens, it is a social compulsion for her to look a 10 on the level of hotness (Very genuine issue, no Sarcasm intended) and the guys ‘should’ drool over her at the party. Obviously, there is gonna be alcohol, rocking music and loads of pictures taken, you know, “Why do even girls dress up otherwise??”. Let’s get back to Aelita now; she doesn’t like to wait, does she?? Moving on, she picks up her iPhone, and connects it to the laptop and makes a new folder on her laptop named “Meeee” and copies her favy pics in to the folder. All set now and our babe is ready to upload some pics because 1241 pics are not enough for people to know how you look (Here!!! sarcasm intended).

But what’s this, face swollen with pride, just turned gloomy. She says, “What the Fuck is this PAGE NOT FOUND error??”. She again types the address, but to her frustration, the error pops up again. Finding this whole situation insufferable, she calls her girlfriend and asks if she can open the goddamn site or not. Both of them make innumerable attempts but to their disdain, the situation remains the same. They say in chorus “I hate this day!!! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it”. Aelita is disappointed and fuming with anger as well. She is not used to things not happening her way. Annoyed, she hangs up and cancels her plans for the evening.Peanut, on the other hand had a gala time, since he finished the delicious Italian omelet in all this mess. Bored to tears, she decides to check her mails, wherein, she discovers the reality. Yes!! It is time. The world around her stopped for a moment. It was as if, she had lost her looks. It was that big a deal!!! She looks around helplessly. She needs answers, lots of answers. “I hate you Zuckerberg!!!”, she cries. She looks towards the ceiling and wails “How is that guy gonna know about me, whom I eye-flirted with...”. Peanut, flabbergasted witnessing all this, pees near the foot of the bed and runs (He had never seen his babe like this, what else is the lil guy gonna do!!!). Aelita, totally broken, decides that it is futile to live anymore and decides to end her life. She looks around for something sharp and finds a nail clipper lying on the side of the bed. Her eyes filled with rage and disgust, she one by one clips all her nails and swears to god that she is never gonna dress up again ever.

She stars in Ugly Betty 3 now!!!

That, my friends, is the sorrowful story of Aelita.

Now I know, you must be thinking, what is the big deal out here?? Well, the big deal is, we lost one hot chick, so what if she is hypothetical, this is a possibility, isn’t it? And what about my buddies, “The Pervy Perversons”. How are they gonna survive without Facebook?? What about them??

Mr. Zuckerberg, Sir!! I have a request. If you are reading this, am sure you are gonna understand what I am trying to say. Please for the sake of the pervs and the hotties, let there be Facebook. It has grown into us. It won’t be fun without them!!!!

Image Courtesy: Google Images

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