Ladies please, I need the answers to these sex questions

DampKitten

So, first of all Ed, this is not a short story. It's probably more fitting in the article section since there really isn't a question and answer dept.

I'm a married girl, Ed. As such, I probably can't relate as well to some of your concerns based on recent experience, but I'll give you my humble thoughts for what they are worth.

My first thought is that you're asking the wrong questions. You need to be asking yourself, 'where is my modern day woman right now and what am I doing here?'

Pubic Hair
Muff management is akin to fingernail polish and press-on nails. Easily changed and frequently manipulated. I do this based on moon cycles and tide currents. If my man voices a preference, I might change what I'm doing. I might stuff his face in my crotch and ask him, "Are you sure?"

Oral sex is not a decision. It's an occurrence. I don't contemplate oral sex. I do it based on reflex. Reflex is based on moon cycles and tide currents. If the guy has a pretty cock, I'm more apt to cycle his moon and swallow his current.

As for men performing oral sex, I'm not going to claim a major sampling but I've noticed something. Guys who are 'well endowed' don't seem to know or care very much about orally satisfying women. I'm guessing this is because they are used to satisfying them with something other than their mouth, so the tongue simply serves as a quick lubrication device. I'm sure there are exceptions, but this has just been something I've noted.

Concomitantly, guys with smaller cocks but otherwise alluring features seem to be more expert with their mouths and fingers, presumably as an alternative means to stimulate their women. Erotic novels always feature men who have both big cocks and amazing oral skills. These stories are written because you generally don't find that kind of talent out there.

In the end, if you're a guy on the prowl looking for sexual success, remember to maximize your potential by emphasizing your best assets. That can be intelligence. That can be athleticism. That can be oral talent or sensitivity, kissing, smiling, listening. It can be physical strength. Use what you have to the benefit of your partner and stop focusing on things that you can't change. Your oral talents are always something you can work on. Instead of waiting for a girl to direct you, interact with them vocally during the process of sex. It's sexy to talk sex while you're having sex. How's that.

While your asking questions, Ed, let me just say for the benefit of men out there who have this undue need to send dick pics to prospective dates....how about 'No'. If it's your established girlfriend, then that's different. But unless some girl just asks you for a cock portrait, I'd like you to assume sending a photo of your penis is probably not the best approach to getting that date with the girl of a lifetime that just started working in your office. Don't get me wrong, Ed....we do like dicks. But we like them when we want to see them. We will let you know.

Question 4: The 'nice time' comment.
Are you serious, Ed? Come on. Unless you're dating a lady from the women's wrestling federation, we generally aren't gonna get ourselves off by crushing your nuts. If you can't figure out whether things went well, they probably didn't.

5) Tit sucking is generally good. Be careful with biting. We like gentle, particularly at first. Tastes do vary, so the rule of thumb is ask your girl what they like. Give her tits your undivided attention rather than acting like it's a peripheral activity.

6) Self Consciousness
I have small tits. The guys I've dated actually noticed they were small before they undressed me. Hence, they were not stunned by their findings in the bedroom. I'd like to have bigger tits. It has no effect on how I have sex. It may have an effect on how some guys look at me or who asks me out (assuming I was single). I think the number one thing that attracts guys is what is above a girl's shoulders. Guys like girls that give good face. They may have preferences for breast size or butt contour, but in the end they throw that shit out the window as secondary when they see a pretty face. So, I don't worry that much about my tits. By the same token, girls mostly pay attention to a guy's face and eyes as first line features. I definitely know girls who are all about the body, but most women are into face first.

Orgasms. When you are fooling around and the thermometer is rising, it's not unreasonable to ask your date, "What do you like?" She may act innocent at first, but be persistent and be a good listener. Use body language to show you are truly interested and then follow directions meticulously. You are right in observing that different women get off in different ways. What you should know, however, is that the context and circumstance of sex is far more important with women than men. Foreplay does not equal fondling. It's verbal stimulation. It's romantic seduction. It's lighting. It's music. It's facial expression. It's sounds. It's breathing. It's novel situations. If she's not already wet when you get down there, you need to back up.

Most women can climax from clitoral stimulation. How you accomplish that to the extent of providing an orgasm may vary. Fingers, tongue, or a combination of both are the general rule. My advice is start slow and be gentle. Tease. Work around the target before you dive right in. The inner thighs are very sensitive for most of us. We like anticipation.

Response to penetration may vary. My personal experience is that I cum much harder from penetration after I orgasm from clitoral stimulation. So, penetration needs to be my second, third, fourth, and fifth orgasm. Then you can get your mouth back down there.

Question 8: I don't have sex with men that I don't find attractive unless I'm being raped. Rape is usually a surprise.

Question 9: Do women get wet at the wrong time? I've been wet in church. There is no wrong time. There can be an inconvenient time, but not a wrong time. If my husband notices I'm wet, he's always responsible...even if he isn't.

Question 10: Does the fact that my man masturbates negatively impact my self image? Is that your question? If I catch my man masturbating, it usually negatively impacts his own self image. I typically tell him not to let me interrupt.

By the way, Ed...I hate to tell you this, but since you seem to be in the dark, maybe I should enlighten you. Women masturbate all the time. I have a mini vibe in my purse, one at the office, and a water proof vibe in the bathroom. I know. I know. You can't believe it. Well, it's true. I'm sure your lady gets herself off quite a bit more than you ever imagine. She's probably not thinking about you when she does it. I should rephrase that. I'm sure she's not thinking about you when she does it.

Just like guys sit around looking at porn while they yank their willy, we girls get ourselves off while we think about real men who can actually satisfy us fully. We're not thinking about the man jerking himself off in front of his computer or having phone sex with some teenage bimbo who is one third his age. We're thinking about our new boss or the guy that just moved in next door.

We think terrible things. Dirty things. Things we will never tell you, Ed. We get wet at all the wrong times in all the wrong places for all the wrong people. And while our husbands are asking strangers on erotic web sites to answer questions about sex, we're downstairs fucking their best friend in the garage...or their worst enemy in the board room after a late night meeting. He's got my pussy in a pizza box.

The thing is, Ed, you have no idea how barely you're scratching the surface...

DampKitten

I'm a 'spiky' kind of girl, Ed...
This is really tongue in cheek, if you hadn't guessed -

but hey,
the fun of it is that you can't be too sure when I'm being serious