The Short Happy Life of Island Billy

The Short Happy Life of Island Billy The Short Happy Life of Island Billy

Status: In Progress

Genre: Romance


Status: In Progress

Genre: Romance


This is a continuation of the series about the Wilson girls. Millie’s story. It is the second in the series that began with, “A Totally Unromantic Love Story. Please enjoy and thank you for reading me. - DT


This is a continuation of the series about the Wilson girls. Millie’s story. It is the second in the series that began with, “A Totally Unromantic Love Story. Please enjoy and thank you for reading me. - DT


Submitted: April 16, 2016

A A A | A A A


Submitted: April 14, 2016



 The Short Happy Life of Island Billy


Nobody gets rich in academe. But, I work a six hour week and earn a six figure salary so I’m not complaining. I also consult. And DC is a target rich environment. So I do okay. Janet, my wife of 8 years, works for the University too. She started as an Administrative Assistant. But the girl was way too good for the minor leagues. So she is the Director of Development now.

For those of you who don’t speak “academic” Development is what we eggheads call “begging.” Janet basically charms alumni for cash. And who wouldn’t want to hand a big check to Janet? At age 35 she is still perfectly gorgeous. Her dark features and curvy figure fit her Italian heritage. And she can charm the birds down out of the trees.

She is also a very smart woman, well-read and cultured and wickedly funny. In fact her sense of humor is the thing people remember the most about her.  But in the world of fund raising her chest is the money maker. She has told me that her superb tits are a pain in the ass, mainly because they require extra care and feeding. But she will also freely admit that they open a lot of doors for her.

For instance, I remember an evening when the two of us were out with a prospect. The guy was in his late sixties and rich. The woman with him was still his starter wife, close to his age and frumpy. The prospective donor was ogling Janet like she was that proverbial puppy in the window. That was not an unusual state of affairs. The whole point of having somebody like Janet doing the asking is that she is stunningly attractive.

As the evening got drunker Janet’s mark got handsier. The guy couldn’t take his eyes off the half foot of cleavage showing in her little black dress. While he talked, the guy had his hand moving up and down on her arm, right next to her massive left tit. His wife who had arrived looking bored, now looked disgusted. At the same time, Janet was ignoring where his hand was and hanging on his every word.

I was sitting across from her. All of the time the guy was copping his pseudo feel a stocking clad foot was making its way up and down my leg. And my wife was cutting me looks that were both surreptitiously amused, and shameless enough to melt my fillings. She was clearly saying, “Can you believe this guy?” That was my Janet. Working and playing at the same time.

She left with a big check. I got my reward when we got home. I didn’t marry Janet until the middle part of my 20s. And I had a lot of female bed-partners throughout my single life. But I have never met a woman as totally abandoned in the bedroom.

I know that women like to have cocks in them. In fact they like to have cocks in them a lot more than we like putting them there. But there is a huge qualitative difference between the ones who just lie there with their legs spread going, “Oh Baby-Baby!” and a woman like Janet. She puts her heart and soul into every fuck. And each one is a distinct masterpiece.

I never actually figured out whether she was an Olympic class sexual athlete because her passions just overwhelm her. Or whether she is simply driven to be the absolute best at everything female. But the woman could fuck you in more interesting ways than Catherine the Great.

In bed, her only aim was to get in touch with every aspect of her sexuality. And it wasn’t like she wanted to evolve into that slowly. She wanted to do it all in one night. She had no boundaries and endless stamina. Sex is hard physical exercise. And many of the women I have bedded eventually get worn-out. But Janet would just keep going and going, without the slightest loss of enthusiasm.

On nights like that we would doze off when she couldn’t get Old Lucifer out to the starting line for one more lap. Fortunately, the next day was a Saturday. Some people garden, or fish, or play golf on the weekend. We like to sail. We keep a C&C Cruising 40 at the Washington Marina and we usually take it for weekend trips down the Potomac and out into Chesapeake Bay.

Janet is a great sailing partner and with the power assists we can handle any destination by ourselves. There is nothing more romantic than sitting anchored in one of the inlets, watching the summer sun set over the Chesapeake and enjoying blue crab and a cold bottle of Pinot Grigio.

And there is nothing cozier than lying cuddled under a blanket in the cockpit of our boat, watching the stars and talking about a million things. Of course that has always inspired Janet to make the boat rock frantically most of the night.

Janet is not just my wife. She has always been my best friend and closest companion. And to say I loved her would be a gross understatement.


The University started a major fund raising drive that fall. That cut short our sailing. Janet began to take three day trips to the major population centers.  Normally members of her staff would do the wining and dining. And she would do the actual “asks.” But this campaign was a big deal. So she was expected to go along with her troops as a way of communicating the University’s commitment to the process.

That was alright with me since I was also involved in some stuff with NCTC in McLean. All of that was taking up more time than either of us wanted. In fact, the hour requirements were almost like I had an honest job. They were going to wind up the campaign in New York in mid-March. The University was going to be a four-day extravaganza because there are so many of our alumni in the greater New York City area.

Janet was standing in our bedroom reviewing the contents of her roller-bag. She looked like she was trying to decide whether she had packed everything. I was checking her out as I was standing in the door. She is a beautiful woman. But when she is made-up for public consumption she is something special.

She is medium height and her long raven hair was tied up in one of those sophisticated pony tails that really stylish women adopt. It made her look intimidatingly sleek and business-like and with that gorgeous face, huge boobs and perfect little body she was a sight to behold.

When I came up behind her she was chewing on her lower lip, like she was trying to decide something. I said cheerfully, “All packed?”

She jumped like I had startled her and then relaxed and leaned back into me. Her firm soft buns pushed against my rapidly growing interest. She said almost wistfully, “Have you ever wanted to just chuck the whole thing and become beach bums on St. Lucia?” 

I said lightly, “The boat’s gassed up and ready. Want to leave now?”

She turned and put her arms around my neck and looked at me intently. It was like she was trying to memorize my face… Odd reaction. Then she smiled brightly and said, “As soon as this campaign is over I am going to take you to some deserted island and ravish you like Henry Morgan sacking Panama. Count on it.”

At that point she kissed me with a stunning amount of passion. I was thinking of starting something but we both had a place to be. She was taking a cab down to Union Station to grab the Acela and I had a meeting over at the NCTC with a couple of gentlemen from a little Company in Langley.

For a change 66 wasn’t at a total dead stop so I got over there and got my business done much sooner than I expected. It was only 1:05 and I knew that Janet’s train wasn’t scheduled to leave until 2:15. I had time to surprise her. So I shot down the GW Parkway and across the Potomac on US1 to E Street and over to Union Station. It was the middle of the day and I was parked and crossing the upper gallery promptly at 1:55.

I bought a bouquet from the flower seller next to the escalators. I was planning on giving her a little spontaneous send-off. I just wanted to let her know how special she is to me. I know that was a silly romantic thing to do. But our jobs had kept us apart far too much over the past six months.

I was coming up to the boarding area for the Acela when I saw her pulling her roller bag along toward the first class car. She was absolutely radiating confident femininity. I thought to myself, “God! That woman is hot!”

I couldn’t go down the platform without a ticket so I stopped at the gate. “Damn! Just missed her!!”

Then an odd thing happened. As I was watching her stride along she reached out and took the arm of the tall man who was walking next to her. It was an intimate gesture, like the two of them were more than just fellow travelers. It made no sense.

When they turned to board I saw that it was Todd Breckenridge. Todd is the Vice President for Advancement and Janet’s boss. Basically, he is the University’s marketing and sales manager. I thought to myself, “That’s really strange. If he was going up to Manhattan with her you would think that she would have mentioned it?”

I knew Todd from events that I had gotten dragged to.  I found him to be way too slick and arrogant. He always seemed to condescend to us faculty types. It was like he thought that we didn’t know what the real world was like.

Which was only fair because I condescended right back. He might be a good looking, and very self-assured preppie, but he wasn’t that bright. And I consult in counter-terrorism. So I have a clue. I knew Janet had to interact with him at work. But I got the impression she thought he was a jerk. Todd was in the process of helping Janet into the car and handing her the bag. I did not like the way his hands lingered possessively on her as he did it.

I walked back to the parking structure with mice nibbling at my brain stem. I was a little disturbed that she had not mentioned that she was traveling with Todd. It made perfect sense that he would accompany Janet on this trip. This was the grand finale of an important campaign.

I just wish she had mentioned it to me.

Of course maybe her forgetfulness was due to the fact that the asshole is a well-known cock-hound. His wife kicked him out for his philandering and he has relentlessly hit on everybody with a dress since then. Maybe she thought that I would be less worried if I didn’t know that she would be in a strange town with that predatory fucker.

In that respect, I could understand why she kept it from me. I was suffering pangs of jealousy just at the thought of what I had seen on the platform. It bothered me enough, that I gave my buddy Eddie a call. Eddie; not Edward, or Ed, is the VP for IT at the University and he operates in the same circles as Todd and Janet. I just wanted to get his take on their relationship.

We met for a beer at Martin’s Tavern, which is down the street from where I live. In its 75 years, a lot of political deals have been cut and covert information passed at Martin’s. This was one of those times. Eddie is a laid-back kind of guy. He is in charge of a big budget at the University and you might expect him to be a cold blooded bureaucrat. But by origin, he is a West Virginia good-old-boy.

And he is as country as a misty holler in the morning. He is also about six foot five so he stood out when he came in. I motioned him over. I had a pitcher in front of me and poured him a mug. He looked quizzical, sat and drawled, “John, ain’t seen you in a coon’s-age. Why now?”

Did I mention that he plays hillbilly to the hilt? I got right to the point. I said, “I was wondering about Janet and Todd Breckenridge.” He knew them both very well, because he sat in a lot of meetings with the Advancement side of the organization.

He stopped and pondered in his unhurried southern manner. It looked like he was trying to carefully frame the thing he was about to say.

He drawled, “Waaaall, they have been a lot friendlier of late. He’s a pussy hound fur-sure and it looks to me like he is barking up her tree. She ain’t given him anything as far as I can see. But he keeps tryin and he IS her boss.” 

I did my best to not look as stricken as I felt.  I said, “So let me get this straight. Breckenridge is putting a full court press on Janet. And she can’t outright tell him to get lost because he’s her direct superior. Is that what you are telling me?”

He looked at me with that shrewd good-old-boy expression of his and said, “Yep! That’s what I’m telling ya.”

We killed the better part of the evening talking about nerd things. We all play parts when we are with other people. It’s the way we filter how others perceive us. When it comes to playing West Virginia ridge-runner, Eddie might be larger-than-life than Jed Clampett himself. But his doctorate is from MIT. And his expertise is in my field. So we had a few things to talk about.

I walked back to the house in a beautiful April evening feeling very ill at ease. I had seen them together and Janet didn’t look like she was putting up any barriers between her and the dude. In fact, if you had seen the two of them walking to the train you would have gotten the impression that she was with him as a couple.

She had made numerous fund raising trips over the past six months. I wondered how many of those her boss had gone on. It would make perfect sense for the most important guy in the Advancement area and his second in command to travel together. Especially to the final event in the campaign. But the situation was far too convenient if hanky-panky was on the menu.

It was late enough in the evening that it was time for my call. I dialed Janet’s cell and she answered right away. She was as bright and loving as always. I said, “Hello my love. Time to tuck you in for the evening.”

She giggled and said “Why don’t you come up here to Manhattan and tuck me in properly?”

I said, “I would love to but you have work to do. I’ll just have to settle for doing that as soon as you get home and for the rest of your life.”  She giggled again.

I was going to mention Breckenridge but it just didn’t seem right. I would sound like a jealous wimp whining about her boss being there. More importantly, I had reached the point where I wanted to investigate the situation further so I didn’t want to tip her off.

Suspicion is an insidious disease. Once you catch it you never really get over of it. Suspicion also makes you do sneaky things. I was suddenly dying from a bad case of misgiving. And I had to find the cure. As a first test, I dialed the hotel and asked to be connected to her room. I would make it sound like an afterthought. That is, if she answered. But the phone rang for an eternity.

I tried again an hour later. Same result. It didn’t prove anything. She might still be working. But there was another explanation. THAT was sending shivers up my spine. I was in panic mode. Nevertheless, I am still a little bit ashamed of what I did next. My only excuse is that I had to find out. And finding out was so ridiculously easy.

Thanks to the new generation of malware you don’t have to sneak around to spy on somebody. And old-fashioned bugging and video cameras are just so dreadfully 1990s. She was 200 miles away in Manhattan. Be that as it may, what I planned to do would make me the invisible man in her room. And I would never leave the convenience of our den while I was doing it.

I crafted a routine e-mail to Janet. It said, “Can you take a look at this contract when you get a chance? I need your opinion by tomorrow. What do you think?” And attached a pdf with a copy of a consulting contract that she knew I was trying to get signed.

Janet is the money person. So she would be the right family member to deal with contracts. She and I had already talked about the terms of the engagement. All she had to do was look the contract over for me. And since Janet is a fundraiser, not a computer geek, she would never notice that she was downloading an extra 20 megabytes of something very nasty.

Those additional lines of code were a piece of mischief that I had picked up from my friends at the George Bush Center. The virus is known colloquially as Flame. It has been in the wild for a couple of years but I had the weaponized version. The one that a certain nation state dropped on the Iranians.

Flame is one of about 100,000 reasons why the internet has entirely changed the realities of our world. Especially when it comes to personal privacy. In essence I sent my purportedly innocent wife a spy program that would turn her laptop into my own personal observation platform.

In effect, I would be watching things from the other side of the looking glass. And I could capture everything that went on within the range of its camera and microphone. That trick took nothing more than a click of my mouse. 


She didn’t do the download and response until late the following afternoon. Basically, her return email told me that I now owned her computer. I activated the virus as soon as I saw that it was enabled. The picture and sound came up like I was standing in the room.

Most people staying in a motel room keep their laptop open on the little desk on the wall across from the bed. The design is an architectural staple in every hotel room in America, since the bureau also holds the TV. 

Her laptop happened to be on, although I could have turned it on if had to. Its orientation was toward the right side of the bed.

How wonderfully fortuitous… I was now watching her room live and in real-time. I could hear the shower running. Then Janet walked past the camera and sat down to dry her hair. She was completely nude. As she reached up with the towel those magnificent breasts stood out proudly in high definition. Water was dripping off her big sexy brown nipples.

She said teasingly, “Wow!!! That was some shower!”

A male voice out of range of the camera to its left said, “That only got me started.” And Breckenridge, walked past the camera. He was dripping too. He stopped and stood in front of her naked. The boner he was sporting definitely looked ready.

Every warning bell and claxon in my brain went off simultaneously!! I actually shouted, “What the fuck is he doing there??!” Although she couldn’t hear me.

The answer was agonizingly obvious. She said in that “fuck me” tone of voice, the one that she only uses when she is really turned on, “Here lover, let me take care of that.” And she swallowed his sword.

He groaned loudly, and grabbed the back of her wet head. Up to this point I had thought that I was the sole beneficiary of one of Janet’s blow jobs. She is a master of the art and I knew what he was feeling. Her moaning and bobbing around his cock killed me. It totally blew up my heart. My systems flickered and then came back on line.

I needed to do something. So I dialed her number, totally freaked out. I didn’t do it because I wanted to hear her voice. I wanted to see if she would respond to my call. She was working on his shaft like it was a hot day and it was a cool Popsicle. She stopped the enjoyment noises when the phone buzzed. She glanced down, confirmed it was me and hit the decline button.

Then she went back to fallating the shithead like his cock was the only source of oxygen in the room. Seriously???!!! I was done watching. I set the thing to record.

Most of you have probably had events in your life that are so incredibly shocking that you can’t process them. Things like the death of a loved one, or an unexpected firing, or discovering that the woman you loved and expected to grow old with was a cheating whore.

Some of you might cry. Some of you might hit something. Others of you might get drunk. In my case, my vision started to flicker again and I dropped into a fugue state. 

I didn’t pass out per se. It was more like being in a coma, or just dead. I wasn’t aware of what was happening but my mind had retreated deep within its psychic bomb shelter to preserve itself. Every internal system from consciousness, to basic emotion simply went off-line. I was like a zombie.

I came out of it still seated in front of my workstation. I had not slept, or even slumped in the chair. But it was bright sunlight outside. So it was clearly the next day. I looked at the clock. I had been sitting upright in the chair for close to 7 hours.

My muscles were killing me and it took several minutes to get stretched out enough to be able to walk. I was back to being aware of the world around me, but all of my inner structures had burned to the ground. I was hollow.

I don’t know how other people might react to what I had just witnessed. But I was totally wiped out. You go along in one version of reality. And then when the picture shifts, it is hard to make a quick transition into the new universe.

I mean, give me a break! As far as I knew Janet had been my best friend and loving wife for the past 4,380 days. This other reality was not even one day old. My thoughts were almost laughably clichéd. “How could she do something like that? How often has she done something like that? And every cuckold’s favorite question, how many other men has she done that with?”

Denial is the first stage of grief. You try to spin what you saw. But I had a huge MP4 documenting the facts in glorious high definition and digital sound. It was hard to deny THAT!

Janet was not in her room. She and shithead must have been out doing whatever they were getting paid to do. Or maybe they were fucking in another room? Either way it didn’t matter. I sent the kill command to the virus and shut off the link. They would never know how I had done it.

It would take some time to wade through the entire recording. They tell you to never watch your spouse’s infidelity. That is, if you ever plan to reconcile. That wasn’t an issue with me since we were finished. The only open question was how to make the break?

It isn’t the betrayal of trust that impacts you. It is the tangible evidence that your basic assumptions about the inevitability of your married relationship and even your life are incorrect. There are things in everybody’s life that we just assume are a given. At the top of that list is the belief that both partners in a marriage will remain faithful. If you are normal, it never crosses your mind to think otherwise.

So once you see that fundamental assumption blown up, you begin to question all of the other things that you presumed were true. That is a very dark and lonely road to travel indeed. And I was well on my way down it.

I knew to the core of my soul that reconciliation with Janet was out of the question. So I tried to view whatever fucking and sucking I had captured as nothing more than information. It would be ammunition for what I needed. Which was utter scorched earth. It would be absolute war to the knife.


Revenge is a purifying emotion. It focuses and carries you through the maelstrom of less satisfactory feelings that swirl around when you are betrayed like that. It makes you feel less helpless and lost. More importantly it lets you get control back.

I showered and dressed. My rational mind was already formulating a plan. I was alternating between wild bouts of anger and the lack of any feeling whatsoever. I was a little concerned about the latter state. Since I couldn’t laugh, cry, or even feel impatient with the idiots in DC traffic. If there was any emotion inside me at all it was my ruthless need for vengeance.

I was hoping that latter condition would pass. Being totally numb helps you get through the shock but I would have to get-on with my life somehow. And spending the rest of it obsessing about ever more creative ways to even the score just seemed so totally fucked-up.

I was headed for the bank and then to my lawyer Bernie’s office.  First I did the usual clichéd financial protection things. I divided our assets and shared out the bonds and stocks. I put all of my share in another bank and left the rest in our joint account for Janet.

Bernie is a college buddy. He was born to be a lawyer and he has always handled all of my legal affairs. He is a totally good guy and an aficionado of Jewish humor. So he is also a lot of fun to have a beer with. I told him what had happened and what evidence I had. I told him that there was no chance that I could stay married to Janet. So I asked him to draw up what he considered to be a fair settlement offer.

He looked sympathetic and said, “Are you sure that this is what you want to do? It’s kind of hasty. You and Janet have always been a perfect couple and from everything I have ever seen she loves you. I can’t conceive of any circumstance that would make her do what you described. Have you talked to her about it yet?”

I said, “I don’t need to talk to her. I saw it and I don’t care about reasons. The faster I put this behind me the better. I have to somehow put my overwhelming feelings of anger, loneliness and distress behind me.” Then I broke down. Bernie’s office must have caused it. It felt like I had reached a safe harbor after battling a terrible storm.

And it was fucking embarrassing! I have cried exactly once in my life. It was when my mother died. Even then her passing was something I had anticipated and I acted a lot less like a little baby girl. This time the whole miserable reality blindsided me and I just couldn’t cope. I was totally overcome by deep personal heartache.

Three days ago I had been a happily married man with a wife who was my best friend, companion and lover. That was obviously an illusion. I didn’t even know the slut on the video. It was like I had lived my life in two parallel universes. There was the one dimension where we were a happy respectful couple and then there was the one where I had always been the hapless fool.

I wondered which life was the real one. I suspected that I knew the answer to that. Bernie had not anticipated my acting like such a sniveling weenie. How could he. I am always so controlled and rational. So he freaked out when I started caterwauling and began yelling for his secretary.

Gladys is a kind and nurturing older woman. She knows what lawyers do. She put the picture together in about six nanoseconds. She grabbed a bunch of paper towels from Bernie’s bathroom and fed them to me one at a time as she held my head on her ample, matronly bosom. All the time she was making sympathy noises.

I finally stopped my blubbing. Did I mention how humiliating that was? But it DID make me feel better. I looked at Bernie with apology and said, “You know what I need you to do.” God! After the exhibition I had just put on he would have to be totally brain dead to NOT understand what I needed him to do.

I said, “This is a no-fault jurisdiction so file ‘irreconcilable differences’ but make it clear to her lawyer that in case she pushes back I have all of the evidence that I need to ruin her personally and professionally. I want this to be over quick.”

Bernie said, “Not a problem. I can have the papers for you by tomorrow noon. Is that what you want? Where do you want her served?”

I said, “She gets back at 6:00 PM tomorrow. I would like her served at home as soon as possible after that time. I am going to leave something that will make the reasons for the divorce self-explanatory.” He nodded and I went home to the hard part.


I had recorded too much fucking-sucking and pillow-talking to make an efficient documentary. So I created a “greatest hits” version of her night with shithead, just to establish the salient points. But in order to distill out thirty golden minutes I had to plow through close to five hours of heart-rending shit.

Bernie had asked me if a hasty divorce action was a reasonable response after eight good years. I was semi-wondering that too until I actually made my demonstration video. After watching how much she enjoyed her little fuck-fest, all I could think about was getting as far away from the bitch as possible.

Janet is a passionate woman and that was on full display. I have heard that some men get turned on watching their wife fuck. I was sickened by it. I have always considered myself a rational and reasonable person. But after what I witnessed, her especially grizzly murder seemed like a delectable option.

I packed all of my stuff and loaded it into my car. There was nothing I wanted from that house other than my clothes and a few personal things. I had left the evidence running in a loop on the workstation. Of course I had that show and the raw footage on a portable drive that I was taking with me. 

Then I closed the door on the past decade of my life. I left a simple note propped against the monitor.

It said, “I am sorry that you chose to do this to us. And I apologize for any failure on my part in our relationship. I loved you with all my heart. I will forever value what we had as husband and wife. But there is no coming back from this betrayal.

“If you have not been served before you read this you will be in a few short minutes. I tried to be scrupulously fair in the settlement and I hope that you will not fight this. The sooner I have you out of my life the sooner I can move on.

“I need time to heal so please respect me enough to NOT communicate with me. If we see each other on campus please have the consideration to head the other way. I will probably never stop loving you and I do not need to be reminded of what I have lost. I wish you had valued it more.

“Perhaps someday we can get together and you can tell my why – With Love – Billy Joe.”

I drove down to my new digs. That would be our boat. I had gotten all of my internal systems back on-line and the space around me was familiar. So I was almost feeling normal. That is until I thought about the bitch and her lover. Then I got back in touch with my homicidal side.

I always considered personal revenge a childish emotion, better left to the lesser brains. That is until it happened to me. Now I was a raving monster. I planned on inflicting maximum pain on shithead and I knew exactly what it would take for me to be satisfied. I wanted a total life extinction event for that mother-fucker. But there was one piece of unfinished business I had to get out of the way first.

I called Jill as soon as I was done moving into the boat. I am not particularly social. But I have a few people who I naturally gravitate toward. That was Tom and Jill. They are both very good people. Jill has been Janet’s best friend and confidant since they were in College. She is married to Tom who is definitely my best friend.

Jill was delighted to hear from me. She said, “Hey eligible bachelor man. How about coming over for dinner so we can keep you out of the dating pool while your wife is gone? We’re grilling steaks.” She had no idea how totally inappropriate that little remark was.

I laughed and said, “I would love a steak and a little conversation if you could spare the time.” An hour later I was sitting on their back deck drinking a beer and enjoying a perfectly cooked Sirloin. They were sitting opposite me at the table. I said, “I have something very important to tell both of you. So is it okay if we skip the banter?”

Both of them looked puzzled and a little concerned. Jill said, “Sure, fire away!” I was looking directly in her eyes when I said, “Is there anything you need to tell me about Janet?” The blast doors slammed shut. But before that happened I saw the shift in her eyes. It was unmistakable.

Jill took her time. It looked like she was carefully thinking through her answer. She said, “Janet is going through a difficult time. She loves you to distraction. But there are powerful, and I might add evil forces at work, which she simply can’t disregard and which are confusing her.

Jill looked pensive and then said, “She has told me about it. But I am guessing from the way you asked the question that you already know what she is dealing with. That is as much as I know. But I ALSO know that she is fighting with everything that she has to keep this from upsetting you.”

She said with conviction, “Janet is a good person and you are her one true love. She doesn’t feel she can talk about it with you without altering your relationship, since she can’t get out of the circumstance without quitting her job. But you have to understand that her present state is truly upsetting and embarrassing to her.”

I could tell from Jill’s rationalizations that she was as clueless as I was. That would make a big difference in our association going forward. If she had known about shithead and not told me, I would have been done with both of them too.

I said, “Seriously??! Well that’s very odd, since she didn’t look very embarrassed when I videoed her and her boss fucking for about five straight hours, in very creative ways. I just need you two to know that I am divorcing her.”

That dropped on them like the meteor that killed off the dinosaurs. In fact, it might have actually been a little over the top cruel. They are very nice people and didn’t deserve to be hit with that. But my judgment was still a little off. At least, as far as common sense was concerned.

Both of them turned white. Jill looked like she was going to pass out. She steadied herself and said, “What did you just say? You’re divorcing Janet?”

I said, “The papers get served tomorrow. I left a video to illustrate the reason why. It is pretty X rated. And don’t ask me how I got it.” Both Jill and Tom probably thought I had hired a Private Investigator. Which would be 20th Century thinking, not the 21st.

Jill spluttered, “But this will kill her. She loves you to distraction. I can’t believe she would betray you. Was it with Todd Breckenridge? He was the one pressuring her to have sex.”

I said, “Believe it baby! And she didn’t look particularly pressured as she was declining my call in order to concentrate on sucking his cock.” I was being intentionally crude to reinforce that the old Billy was dead and that a new avenging angel had risen to take his place.

Jill looked appalled. She was speechless. Tom came over and put his arm around my shoulder and gave me a man-squeeze. Then he sat back down and said, “Is there anything we can do to help? We love both of you and I want you to know that we are here to support you no matter what.”

I said, “Thanks buddy.” Then I looked at Jill and said, “Janet is going to need you at about 6:30 tomorrow evening. I still love the bitch even if I can never be married to her and I want you to take good care of her.”

The I said with grim determination in my voice, “I will accept rational discussion after I overcome my overwhelming desire to kill her and drop her body in the Potomac. But life is too short to hear about what might have been. I particularly don’t want to hear about how sorry she is.”

I told both of them that I valued our relationship. And that all I expected from them was to continue to obey the simple rules of friendship. I told them that I would be living in the boat until things died down. I asked Jill to make sure Janet did not try to visit me there.

I got up and we did a group hug. I walked to my car trying hard to not look like a beaten man. The only thing that was keeping me going was the knowledge that Breckenridge and Janet would have an equally bleak outlook after tomorrow.


I awoke the next day in the cabin of the boat. The world might have come to an end. But it was still a bright and sunny April day in DC. The boat was a little cramped but comfortable enough. And it would be home for the foreseeable future. The Marina itself is like a little village. So there were people busily coming and going on the dock. And at that time of the morning it was like living on Main Street USA.

My phone had about 27 voicemails on it. They were all from Janet. I had a feeling that Jill had called her. I bulk deleted them and went off looking for breakfast. There is a hotel next to the Marina. It’s one of those cheap tourist traps but it serves a buffet. I read the Post and eased into my day.

I still had to lecture and so I took the Metro from the Waterfront SEU Station across town to the University. It was a long walk from Foggy Bottom but it was one of those gorgeous spring days in DC. The humidity hadn’t arrived yet and the City was alive around me.

I began to think about the rest of my life. The brisk exercise of the walk helped. The first rays of hope had started to seep into my soul. Janet was history but I was still only 38 years old. Maybe I could find somebody and start a family?

I marveled at humans. They are amazingly resilient creatures. This was Thursday morning and I had been a vegetable Tuesday night. It is astonishing what two days of perspective will do for you. I finished my lecture and headed for the President’s Office.

There were 12 more calls on my phone. I deleted them as I was walking. The President and I have always gotten along. I bring in a ton of grant money and that gets their attention in the Administration Building. When I was seated he did the usual coffee or tea thing. I politely declined. He said, “So what brings you here Billy Joe, more funding I hope?” And he grinned at his little joke.

I said, “I have a serious case of malfeasance to discuss with you.”

His eyes went instantly feral. It is never a good idea to utter the word “malfeasance” in the presence of a University President. At least, not without iron-clad proof in hand. It strikes at the very heart of their leadership. I had that proof on the tablet computer that I was clutching. I would use it if need be. I was hoping I wouldn’t have to.

He said, “That is a very serious charge. Who are you accusing?” And he began shuffling the papers in front of him. It was a display of pure agitation.

I said, “The person I am accusing is your Vice President for Marketing and University Advancement.” I couldn’t bring myself to say the fucker’s name.

I said, “I have evidence here,” and gestured to my tablet, “That he has been carrying on a clandestine affair with one of his subordinates while representing the University to the donor community.”

I thought the President was going to go into apoplexy when I said that. Donors are the people who keep University Presidents on their thrones. Any canoodling in front of them would be a threat to his OWN position. I said, “The other person is my wife Janet.” He blanched, “And that is the reason why I am in possession of this.”

I handed him two stills. They were extremely compromising. In the one she was swallowing his cock to its root and in the other he was banging her doggy style, a look of utter ecstasy on both of their faces. The President was appalled. Oooops! I had forgotten about his vow of abstinence.

He started to reach for the phone. Then he remembered that both of them were still in New York. As his hand was hovering over the phone I said in as non-threatening a voice as possible, “I believe that the University owes me recompense. Your failure to properly supervise your two subordinates has cost me my marriage and my happiness.”

That was something he could deal with. He withdrew his hand and got that cagy CEO look. You could see that he was asking himself, “How much will it cost to make this go away?”

I said, “You might think that I am planning a civil action and that could still happen. But all you would have to do to bury this problem forever are two simple things.

“First, fire Todd Breckenridge for gross malfeasance, which you are going to do anyhow.

“Second, promote my soon to be ex-wife into his position.”

He looked poleaxed. He had no problem honoring the first request. We both knew that he was going to make fuck-face disappear. It might not be like it was in the good old days. But the Jesuits are still very capable of dealing with people who have become inconvenient.

But why give Janet a big promotion? It made no sense to him. In order to help his decision process, I said with all of the fake sincerity that I could muster, “Of course I am divorcing her. But I don’t want to leave her destitute. It was Breckenridge who seduced her so she is in essence a victim here.”

I didn’t believe what I had said for one second. But I had my own reasons to get the President to accede to my demands. And since he was a priest I thought he might buy-into that my genetically engineered version of the truth since it underscored my position as a good guy.

My actual motives were a lot less altruistic. I knew that it would absolutely destroy Breckenridge to be canned. And then when he discovered that Janet had his job he would detect my fine hand in his downfall, which was exactly what I wanted.

I also knew that Janet would suffer tons of agonizing guilt if she got a promotion for shitting on me. More important it would mean that she was making more money than I was, hence no alimony. I was not going to pay the bitch one red cent.

Finally, and more deliciously, if she had just aced shithead out of his job it would probably prevent any further canoodling between her and him. In fact, it might make him actually want to throttle her, which was okay by me.

How I got this vindictive was a puzzlement. But Janet’s betrayal was one of those tectonic shifts that had changed me. And the person who was emerging from the cataclysm was a brand new, not particularly nice version of my former self.

I believe it was the great American philosopher Arnold Schwarzenegger who said, “That which does not kill you makes you stronger.” Well that was the case here.

The President cogitated for a minute and then he said, “Okay, we can do that. I don’t think that your wife should benefit from her immorality. But I can see where it will make it extremely difficult for both of them. Which is a fitting reward for their sins.”

Then he gave me a conspiratorial wink. The old boy had it all figured out. He was really pretty hip for a man who had pledged to never take a wife. And after what I had just gone through, I was beginning to think that he might have the right idea.

I said, “So we’re in agreement. You will fire Breckenridge tomorrow and promote Janet?”

He said, “As long as the evidence of their affair never sees the light of day.”

I said, “You can count on that. Since, it is too humiliating for me personally. It might be displayed in the Judge’s Chambers during the divorce but that is privileged information that cannot be legally shared.”

The old guy actually patted me on the back as I left. He seemed almost giddy at how cleverly the two of us had administered justice. The rest of the day was uneventful. I bought the bachelor essentials, beer and a few good cigars The real pain hadn’t hit me full force yet. That would happen when the infinite parade of lonely days started marching past.

As I was sitting in the aft part of the cockpit I had pounded a six pack and smoked a Dominican Cohiba. I was watching the traffic on the Potomac. Savoring the pain that I was about to inflict on Janet was the only thing that was keeping me from tying one of the boat’s anchors around my ankles and diving into the river.

She would be getting home about now. And she would find all of the lovely gifts that I had left for her. First there would be my note, accompanied by her little porn show. That would be followed by the divorce petition and then a night of getting used to life without me as her husband.

I hoped she was suffering as much as I was. Anger and retribution are an excellent antidote when your only thoughts are about how badly you miss your wife and how much you still love her. Then the weight of the injustice landed on me like one of those cartoon grand pianos and I found myself howling at the moon, “WHY??!!”

My God! That was embarrassing!!!


Day four of the rest of my life promised another nice sunny April day.

I followed the previous day’s routine. The buffet was satisfying and the long walk from Foggy Bottom to the University was stimulating. And I absolutely aced my lecture. The students looked appropriately worshipful as they picked up their stuff and filed out.

I was thankful that one part of me was still functioning, which was the academician. I have always been an avid teacher. That has led to a successful career. Now I was ready to double-down and bury myself in my work. It made me look forward to the future.

What happened next was probably the Fates giving me back something for fucking me over like they had.  I didn’t plan it. It was pure happenstance. But it was delicious.

As I walked back toward 37th street I passed in front of the Dean’s Office. When who should appear but two burly campus policemen and Todd Breckenridge. They all seemed to be moving in the general direction of the parking lot. It looked like he was being escorted off campus for the last time. The moment he laid eyes on me he began to yell, “YOU SON OF A BITCH!!! I know you did this to me!! You and that lying cunt I had so much fun fucking!!!” And he broke from his escort to run at me.

I saw him coming all the way. And as he approached I turned toward him with a completely self-satisfied smirk on my face. I needed him to know how pleased I was. I could see what was about to happen and made a split second decision. I could definitely use this.

I deflected the haymaker that he threw with my shoulder. And it bounced off the very top of my head. It actually hurt a little bit. But the flop I executed was worthy of a World Cup soccer player. I let out a loud cry of pain, threw my hands up and almost somersaulted backwards to lie sprawled on my back on the sidewalk. As my arm went up I managed to flip my sun glasses spectacularly into the air to land another ten feet behind me. It looked like a devastating blow.

It was a masterpiece of the art of acting. Shithead was about to follow up with a kick to my ribs when the first campus cop reached him. The guy grabbed fuck-face around the neck with his beefy forearm and threw a punch to his kidney that made his eyes glaze over. Then he threw him face first on the sidewalk and the other one handcuffed him.

While that was all going on I arose to my feet pretending to be injured and extremely woozy. The other cop picked up my sunglasses and handed them to me. I looked at him gratefully and said in my most humble voice, “Thank you for saving me officer. I was so frightened”

That was perhaps a little over the top in the bullshit department. But the cop looked stalwart and said with false modesty, “No need to thank me. Just doing my job.” My little voice was laughing its ass off. But none of that showed in my eyes.

He said, “What do you want us to do with this guy Professor Butler? Do you want to press charges?” This was getting a whole lot better than I could have ever imagined. My little voice was rubbing its hands together in glee.

I said in my most indignant, “highly civilized” tone of voice, “Of course I do officer. That man assaulted me in broad daylight right here on our campus. I will do whatever it takes to ensure orderliness and civility in academia.”

I knew that I sounded like a total pussy. But I wanted to make sure that Breckenridge got the book thrown at him. And playing the injured party like I was only made his unprovoked assault on me seem all the more heinous – “hee-hee-hee”.

My little voice was thinking to itself, “Shithead ought to enjoy his 90 days in the DC Jail. Then we can talk about the civil suit.”  I truly believe that karma has a way of evening things up. And this was one of those golden moments.


Sunday night I was sitting on the quarterdeck of the boat. It was looking like the six-pack and cigar ritual was going to become a daily event. The weather had warmed up and the Cherry Blossoms at the Tidal Basin were in full bloom. It had finally hit me that I was totally alone now and waves of sorrow just washed over me. The dark desolation set in.

That was when my phone rang. I have gotten into the habit of checking the caller ID to make sure I didn’t accidently answer one of Janet’s calls. She had stopped calling as frequently as she had earlier. But she still called a couple of times a day. I think that was just to keep on my radar.

It was Jill so I answered. She said, “Can we meet for lunch tomorrow?”

I said, “Sure babe. As long as your husband doesn’t mind having his sexy woman dining with a single guy.”

She said with some heat, “You aren’t single yet and that’s what I wanted to talk to you about.” A bolt of angst shot through me. The last thing I wanted to do was talk about Janet.

I said, “You aren’t going to try to talk to me about getting back together with her are you? And if she is there when I arrive I am going to turn around and walk away.”

She said, “I know better than that and so does she. I just want to update you about her and talk about the way forward. I promise no justifications, or begging.”

I said, “Well in that case let’s meet at 2:15 at the Tombs. This is exam week but I have to eat.”

She said, “See you there.” I didn’t like her tone of voice. It sounded like she was steeling herself for a confrontation. The next day I was sitting in the Tombs with a beer in front of me admiring the décor. The place truly looks like a campus hangout and the lunches aren’t half bad.

Jill appeared in the door and I waved her over. I forgot how much she looked like a less busty version of Janet. The sight of her sent a flaming arrow through my heart. She was wearing a simple black skirt and frilly white top. With her cute face, slim figure and dressed as she was she could easily pass for a coed. Except she was 15 years out of school.

She smiled with her eyes as she came bustling over and sat down. She said, “How are you doing? I heard Todd Breckenridge beat you up on Friday. Are you okay?”

She said with contempt in her voice, “He is still in the DC Jail. They are making it aggravated assault because the officers witnessed it and they said that he really messed you up. He is dead-meat now you know. He is going to get some prison time for sure. He could get a year for that.”

Ah, the value of good acting. I said, “The rumors of my demise are a little overstated. And how do you know all of that?”

I actually knew why she knew it. And it sent a fresh wave of pain through me. But I wanted it confirmed. She said, “Because he called Janet to try to convince her to bail him out. She laughed at him and hung up.”

I poured Jill a beer from my pitcher and said, “So let’s cut to the chase. I know you are not here because of my overwhelming charm and sex appeal.”

She dimpled prettily and said, “Well, if it wasn’t for my love for Tom it could be. But yes, I want to close the loop. I know you won’t talk to Janet but it is cruel to let her just dangle. So I am here in her place. She is totally devastated, as I suppose you know.”

Jill looked in my eyes for a response. Getting none she continued with, “She never expected you to find out. But she also told me that she knew how smart you are and she should have known you would discover a way. By the way, what tipped you off?”

I said, “If I had not tried to make a romantic gesture I would still have been the ignorant but happy cuckold. And in some respects I wish I hadn’t. I rushed over to Union Station to surprise her with flowers for her trip and I saw her and Breckenridge boarding the train. I didn’t like the way they were interacting with each other.”

I smiled grimly, “I am not going to get into the details of how I caught them. That is too technical and boring. But I can assure you that I was, in effect, standing in the same room for the entire five hour ordeal. I saw everything that they did and I heard it all, including the pillow talk.”

Jill’s eyes widened. She said, “Then you already know what was happening. I don’t have to explain it.”

I said, “Well, I recognized most of it.  You might explain to me how a woman could enjoy anal sex as much as Janet did though. I would think that would really hurt.”

Jill looked disgusted. She said, “You know what I’m talking about. You know why she did it.”

I said, and I actually was not trying to play dumb here,” I really don’t know what you are talking about. And it was obvious why she did it. She loved all five hours of it. THAT I know.”

Jill said, “You couldn’t tell from the pillow talk that she was in bed with the guy because he had finally pressured her into having sex with him? It was the only time. And she was doing it because he promised her that if she gave herself to him that one time he would leave her alone.”

THAT must have been the most personally insulting statement I had ever heard anyone make to me. Nobody could think that I was that excruciatingly simple minded, unless they were brain damaged. More likely Janet and Jill were building a handy-dandy excuse to avoid personal responsibility.

My little voice said, “Excuse me?!! Does she think I’m an idiot?!!”

Janet’s rationalization was so spectacularly self-serving that I almost thought that she might actually believe it. And if she truly thought that she could make that cockhound back off by fucking him, she was even stupider than her friend for repeating it. Seriously!!?? Jill had to be a very loyal person indeed if she was willing to truck that wheelbarrow full of horseshit in here.”

I wanted to say, “Let me give you a more likely explanation. In Janet’s mind, that asshole’s pushing her for sex gave her a convenient ‘get out of jail free’ card to try it on with somebody different.” But Jill was looking at me with sincerity. She really believed the bitch. What a faithful friend!

So I said, “That was never mentioned in between the spectacular bouts of jungle sex. Of course most of what I overhead was them catching their breath.”

I added, like I was conceding something, “He DID tell her that she was the hottest fuck he had ever had. And she DID tell him that he had rocked her world more than any other man she had ever been with. That hurt you know. But I got the impression that they couldn’t leave each other alone.”

Jill said, “She hates the guy. Everything you saw was her trying to document a sexual harassment claim. She was even recording the whole thing to use as evidence. She would never have said anything encouraging because she was trying to trap him.”

I had to throw the bullshit flag on that one. I said, “There were about ten ways she could have done that without fucking him. That was just an excuse for her getting a little extramarital strange.”

Nonetheless, now that I thought about it the comments I could remember DID all seem to be aimed at establishing that what she was doing was not something she normally did. But whatever she was thinking, she had reduced our marriage vows to burnt toilet paper. Her motivations were irrelevant. The fact was she had done it.

Jill was clearly trying to win me back for Janet by convincing me that her night of passion was a one shot attempt to set up a guy who was harassing her. That actually pissed me off. I didn’t have any thoughts about the premise. But fucking somebody five times in a five-hour period and clearly enjoying every second of it was not something that I wanted in a wife of mine.

And there was nothing either of them could say or do to mitigate that. Janet always thinks she is smarter than everybody, me included. And in most cases she is. My guess was that she had contrived her little plot and felt perfectly comfortable in executing it because she had really persuaded herself it was the way to get fuck- face off her back. While at the same time she could have a little guilt-free fling. That seemed perfectly Janet.

She would have the evidence to hold over the guy and it would never hurt me because I would be none the wiser. In fact, if I had not seen them together at Union Station that would have probably been the case.

The problem was that it DID happen. And I witnessed it. Worse I had watched it several times in high definition. My little voice commented mockingly, “They really should have turned off the lights.”

I said, “How does that affect me? It won’t change my mind about divorcing her and I am sure the courts will see it my way since adultery is still a valid cause. I couldn’t possibly take her back after what I saw. In fact I don’t even want to talk to her.”

Jill said, “If you don’t want to reconcile with her, why did you arrange for her to be promoted? You got rid of her problem and elevated her to an important position. Why would you do something like that if you didn’t love her? That makes no sense.”

I said, “I beg your pardon?!! I love her with all of my heart, whatever that means. And there is no other woman in the world for me. What I did was make sure she could lead the rest of her life without me. That was done for love. But she is just going to have to understand and accept that she killed our marriage and blew me up as collateral damage.”

I didn’t want to tell her that the promotion was just my way of ensuring that I didn’t have to give the bitch anything. Since the actual reason might make me sound a little less noble.

I said with sincerity, “Tell her to move on with my best wishes. But I never want to see her again. I am going to take a year’s sabbatical away from here to reinforce that. The University knows that it owes me. And when I get back I am going to pick up my life like she never existed.”

Jill gave me a beaten look. I didn’t want to hurt her but I had to get the message across that both Janet and she were killing me by prolonging the agony.  I said as gently as possible, “You and Tom are my friends. Please don’t think that I feel anything but love and admiration for you. But tell Janet to not fight the divorce. She is getting the house and a healthy settlement. And she is a high mucky-muck now.”

I said sadly, “She is a beautiful woman and she will find somebody to replace me. Unfortunately that will not be as easy for me to do. So would all of you please be kind enough to just leave me alone and let me try to start over?”

Jill smiled sympathetically. But she said bitterly, “I will do that. And I will convince Janet to do it too. But the one thing you are wrong about is thinking that she will replace you. She has never loved anybody but you and she will always love you. Nobody will ever substitute for you in her heart.”

Then she stood up. Smoothed her dress and gave my forearm a squeeze. She said, “I’ll tell her everything you said. But I hope you understand that Janet did not think that any of this would happen. And she regrets it to the very core of her soul.”

I said “I’ll take your word for it but it doesn’t change anything. There is no possible way we could have a married relationship now.”

I tossed some money on the table and we left together. I trudged back to the boat with sadness fighting with rage to see who got to steer the ship.


There are four good reasons for getting into teaching, May, June, July and August. Those are the months you are off contract but still getting paid. In addition, I had arranged for a year’s sabbatical which meant that I didn’t have to be back at the salt mines until the fall of the following year.

And I knew where I was going to be, St Lucia in the Windward Islands. You’re right. It was her last wish as my wife. So YES, it was an homage to our marriage. What can I say? I’m sentimental.

I actually saw Janet once before I left. I have a big morning lecture, almost 300 students. I DO love an adoring throng. They were all sitting there listening to me and frantically taking notes, while the Teaching Assistants moved around amongst that seething mass like herding dogs.

I was in full stride when I looked up to the very top of the auditorium and almost swallowed my tongue. Janet was standing timorously by the door. She looked incredibly sad. It was the first time I had seen her in the flesh since I watched her board the train with Shithead. Her beauty was incandescent.

It took me totally out of my game. I felt like 40,000 volts passed through me. I stopped talking and just stood there at the lectern like an idiot. I didn’t want her to have the satisfaction of seeing how much the sight of her affected me. But my mouth was moving like a fish out of water. Nothing came out of it for a good two minutes.

The students were all looking puzzled at me. I almost thought that one of them was going to raise his hand and ask me if “gulping” was going to be on the test. I took a drink of water and a deep breath and continued. When I looked up again she was gone.


I felt like I needed somebody to love and who would love me back unconditionally. So I did the only intelligent thing. I went down to the DC pound and got a dog.

The one I picked was perfect. He was what people call a “brown dog” meaning he had so many breeds in him that his chief characteristic was that he was brown. He was big and he looked like he might have some mastiff in the family tree. But he had a Labrador face and the long ears of some kind of hound. He had short hair, a very broad back and his tail was docked.

The rest of the dogs were barking at the front of the cage trying to get my attention. This guy had his back to me projecting total mortification and misery. It was like he was saying, “Don’t look at me boss. I’m too ashamed.”

My heart went out to the guy. He and I were a lot alike. I picked him up the next day after his bath and his veterinary check. The delay was mainly so that they could relieved him of his cojones. I was thinking with grim humor, “Janet did that to me. Now we are COMPLETELY alike.”

He had a wonderful temperament. Slow, gentle and loving but not in any pushy kind of small dog way. He just sat there in the passenger seat looking devotedly at me, pant-pant-pant-drool, “Thanks for getting me out of that place Boss. Anything you need from now on you can count on me.”

I decided to call him Buddy, because he was my buddy.

He spent a couple of days getting acclimated to the boat. We were going on a long trip and I wanted him to feel comfortable. We were already packed and fully provisioned so it was just a matter of casting off. A 40 can be a little tricky for one man to sail. But I had the diesels and once we got into the open water I could get the mainsail up from the cockpit with the power assists.

We made it down the Potomac under engine power and when we got out into the Bay I coasted around to Norfolk and the Intercostal under sail. May is good sailing weather and Buddy and I made good time down the coast toward Miami and the open ocean beyond.

I was leaving a wounded man. But I was going to spend the next 16 months healing.

Chapter Two: Ascent

We were tied up at the Rodney Bay Marina. The place is one of those “full service” marinas that offers everything from diesel to high end shopping. So, it attracts a lot of tourists. Buddy and I were sitting in the cockpit in the already blistering midmorning sun. I was having coffee and watching the parade. He was watching whatever dogs watch when they are staring blankly off into space.

In the ten months since my divorce Buddy had gone from companion dog to best friend. I had let my lawyer Bernie handle all of the details of separating me from Janet. And Bernie helped both of us get through that sad event with dignity. More important, he did it quickly and without bothering me.

As a result, I now only thought about Janet twenty times a day.  In the year since I had shoved off from the Marina in DC, I had totally deconstructed the boring guy I used to be. And I had replaced him with the inner boat bum that I always knew was lurking in there.

I was outside in the tropic sun, doing all the chores that you have to do to keep a boat shipshape. Which gave me a deep water tan. My naturally blond well barbered hair was long and shaggy and it had been bleached almost white. And my sedentary body had been leaned down to the bone. I even sported a 39-year old’s version of a six-pack.

I lived in a pair of boat shorts. I added a t-shirt and sailing cap when I was dressed for public consumption. Looking in the mirror I would think, “If Janet could only see me now.” I didn’t recognize myself.  

I was supplementing my generous University stipend by doing offshore tours in the boat. I’d take tourists out for a day of sailing and poking around the nearby islands.

I had enough to live on with my regular salary. But I like luxuries so I did tours. It wasn’t making me rich but I could have probably lived in St. Lucia for the rest of my life at a certain level of comfort. Meaning I could afford the REAL Cuban Cohibas.

And staying on St. Lucia was getting to be a very tempting prospect. Jean-Claude was my agent. He was a happy rastaman who lived somewhere up near Soufriere and spent his time on the beaches hawking outings for the tourists, among his other products.

Actually, tours were one of Jean-Claude’s more savory lines of business.  I gave him twenty percent of anything that he brought my way. I had met him my first week on St. Lucia. I had reserved a slip in Rodney Bay for the duration of my stay and there was a place just off the dock called Spinnakers that had the right insouciance. Meaning, it was also handy enough that I could crawl back to the boat if I had too much to drink.

The feature that sold it though, was that they let Buddy sit with me on their outdoor patio. The island IS French after all. I had been in that place every night since my arrival, drinking and trying to figure out the local scene. Buddy would sit next to me, pant-pant-pant-slobber-slobber-slobber, looking attentively for anything that dropped on the floor.

I had just come down from the States. And I was a pasty-faced tourist back then. But I was quickly getting the lay-of-the-land and I was becoming a whole lot more comfortable in St Lucia. Jean-Claude came over and introduced himself about a week and a half after I had arrived and started hanging out at Spinnakers.

He was wearing an ensemble that could be best described as “weather beaten”. It was a type of ratty island chic, old aloha shirt and frayed shorts that looked like they had originally been long pants. He was coal-black. And he had one of those animated personalities that would have made Bobby McFerrin seem downright “Un-happy”.

Jean-Claude was playing cheerful island creole when he came over. I knew he was trying to hustle me. But I asked him to sit down. Any guy who could game that well had to be knowledgeable. I bought him a drink and told him I had just moved down there and I wanted to learn how to thrive and prosper in the St. Lucia culture.

I told him that I thought he looked like the right guy. So I offered to pay him to teach me all of the things I would need to know to be successful in his society. His demeanor changed from happy to sly. I could see he was figuring the angles. I could also see that he was a very smart fellow indeed.

He switched into perfect French accented English and said, “How about you hang with me for free Mon Ami. I’ll teach you enough that they will think you were born here. And you can buy all of the food and drinks.”

I laughed and said, “Why do I have the feeling that I would have been better off if I had just handed you a couple of thousand dollars?”

He laughed and said, “You would be. You would be.”

That was the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Most evenings he and I and Buddy would sit around Spinnakers listening to the music, which was really quite good. Then Buddy and I would walk back to the boat and Jean-Claude would wander off to find another mark. He never seemed to sleep.

Jean-Claude took me everywhere and introduced me to everybody and by the time he was done I felt like I could have run for Mayor. One of the most disturbing outcomes of my divorce was my total lack of interest in sex. In fact you could even extend that malaise to cover my attitude toward women in general.

I don’t know whether the fear of betrayal was keeping my desire for female companionship bottled up. Or it was a case of sexual dysfunction due to my sudden change in fortune. But I had no interest in interacting with any woman, no matter how hot she might be. In fact, it took six months after the day that Bernie informed me that I was single once again, before I began even looking at women in “that way.”

I was now at the point where I could appreciate a tight female body in a skimpy outfit. But I was still very aware that every one of their beating hearts was full of duplicity. At that time of year there are slightly more cruise ships in Castries Bay than there were vessels offshore during the invasion of Normandy. It was still semi-miserable in most cities north of the border. And all of those behemoths were disgorging passengers onto our tiny island. 

Most of these people were American and frankly embarrassing. The natives were crowded around them like flies on honey, or another substance.  Jean-Claude, must have been in the middle of all of that because he called me and said, “I’ve got a family that wants a tour up to Martinique. Pick them up at the Halcyon Sandals at 10:00. Good money for you and me Mon. The name is Wilson”

He said it “Will-sone” Jean-Claude lived for moments like this. The Sandals resort he was talking about was down the coast on the other side of Castries City toward Rodney Bay. I said, “Thanks my friend and you can pick up your share tomorrow.”

He laughed and said, “Slow down, you’re acting like a grockle Mon. I’ll get it by-and-by.” And he hung up. An hour later I was pulling into the Sandals dock under diesel. Buddy was sitting splendidly at the prow, looking exactly like a canine figurehead, pant-pant-pant-pant.

I had assumed that the “family” would be dad, mom and the kiddies. But what was waiting for me was a “family” in the sense of brothers, sisters and spouses. There were five of them, two men and three women ranging in age from perhaps the mid-twenties to a guy who looked to be in his mid-thirties.

There was a woman in her early thirties who was slim and had “yuppie wife” written all over her. She was clearly with the oldest guy. Then there was a woman about the same age as the wife who looked so much like the first guy that she had to be his sister.

She was tall. And she had one of those aggressive bodies with the huge tits that scream “hot”. But she was dressed in slacks not shorts, like a “no nonsense” kind of woman. It was an interesting contrast of messages. She was clearly married to the other fellow because she was hanging all over him. Even though he looked to be several years younger.

The woman who was unattached was in her mid-twenties. She was without a doubt the younger sister. That one was a total knockout. Not since I first laid eyes on Janet had I ever seen a complete package like the woman standing expectantly waiting for us to dock.

She was in a pair of white boating shorts and a blue polo shirt with an alligator on it. She had thick auburn hair that ran down past her shoulders. It was layered into a medium length waterfall that framed her gorgeous face. She had a golden tan and the most perfectly proportioned facial features. It was like looking at the women in a Vermeer, or a Waterhouse.  She was stunningly beautiful.

She was maybe five six and had gorgeous muscled legs and a killer ass. I know that because she was bending down to pick up a cooler as I docked. I nearly rammed the docking fenders gawking at that exceptionally stimulating sight.

When she turned to board my first impression was “athlete.” She had big round full boobs. They weren’t in Janet’s league but very few women’s are. Nonetheless, they perfectly complemented her nubile shape without looking too out-of-proportion big.

She had broad shoulders and toned arms for a woman, and extra-long smooth sleek muscled legs. Janet’s hips are full and round. This woman had tight athletic hips that just radiated feminine power. I had already noted that jutting ass. But when she turned to put the cooler down I could see that her long waist was so narrow that it made her faultless, round hip structure look almost voluptuous.

I might have lingered a little too long inventorying her because she caught me staring and looked back at me with total disgust. The Cruising 40 has a big comfortable cabin and foredeck but the cockpit is a little tight with six people and a burly dog. I immediately banished Buddy to the galley.

He was happy to go down there since I had laid out some extra rations to keep him occupied. Plus all of those people were making him nervous. The six of us were distributed around the upholstered benches as I headed back out under power on a course slightly west of north, headed for Martinique.

Almost as soon as we hit the open ocean the older sister and her husband disappeared into the cabin. They left me with the impression that they were none too thrilled to be out there. It was like they expected a visit from Captain Jack Sparrow momentarily.

I had every variety of island beer in an iced tub and plenty of rum and tequila down below. The sound of the blender in the galley eased any concern about unhappy customers. They would be content sitting in the cabin with their Margaritas. And it looked like they were there for romance anyhow, not seafaring. Some of my couples are like that. The rolling of the waves makes them horny.

That only left the older brother and his wife and they were cheerfully sitting on the starboard bench watching the water bubble past as we progressed offshore on the diesels. My only thought was. “Empty headed, over-entitled, and rich.” I saw a lot of that type among the student body at the place where I used to work. 

As soon as I got into the main ocean swells I raised the mainsail. I could have done it by myself but part of the tour is the opportunity to play with the boat. And so I asked for volunteers to haul sail. The brother looked at his wife and they both shook their heads. It was obvious that they thought that raising sail was something that the bought help should do, not the masters.

I looked at the goddess and her eagerness was written all over her face. She said, “I have never sailed before but I would LOVE to learn how.”

She rose graceful as a cat and came over to where I was at the wheel bringing the boat directly into the wind. Things can get a very interesting if you hoist the main and you are not aligned with the wind on the nose. That was something that I learned to my painful regret on the way down.

I put it on the auto-sailor and wrapped the line for the mainsail hoist over the power assist. I said, “We are going to need this to raise the sail. Once I finish unfurling it I want you to pull the line through this winch. Don’t stop until you get to the top of the mast. Can you do that?”

She said eagerly, “Aye-aye Captain.”

Her look was akin to a little girl concentrating on riding her first bike. It was so endearing that I almost forgave her for the “back off creep” that she had been radiating all of the time she had been on the boat.

We got the mainsail and jib up as efficiently l as I did with Janet. The woman was undoubtedly a physical specimen, perfectly coordinated and very controlled and precise with her movements. I wondered if she was a pro tennis player or something. Her rare athleticism was hard to miss.

The sails filled as I turned away from the wind off the nose and we laid over on a glorious port tack making maybe eight knots. It was so exhilarating that she actually cried out and clapped her hands in glee. The look of rapture on her face hinted at deeper feelings in other aspects of her psyche.

I turned back to take the wheel and reset the course for 350 degrees. I said, “Enjoy yourself. There is food and drink below and if you want to work on your tan the foredeck is a good place to soak up sun.”

She gave me the first friendly look she had given me since she came on board. She said, “I love the sun. We don’t get much of that in Ann Arbor this time of year. Can I just sit up front? Will anybody disturb me? How long until we get to our destination?”

I said, “If the wind holds we should be there in less than three hours. That will make it around 1:00 in the afternoon. Then your party can decide what you want to do from there. You can stay on the island for a couple of days, which I suggest. I will pick you up whenever you want to come back.”

I added, “The other option is to make it a day trip. We can run back around 7:00 tonight. I am up for doing whatever makes you folks, happy. You are the customer.”

She said, “Can we decide when we get in? What is Martinique like?”

I said, “It’s the Paris of the Caribbean, ‘nuff said. I like to tour the distilleries but I adore rum and they make some of the best in the world. The shopping there is supposed to be exquisite but Buddy and I don’t shop.”’

In the meantime my canine pal had wandered out of the cabin and was sitting by the wheel. I think the people getting sloshed down there were bothering him. He has turned into a sea-dog which is a long way from his street-dog origins. Of course my transformation from academic geek to beach bum wasn’t any less spectacular.

I offered my hand and said, “By the way, my name is Bill Butler.” I added to be witty, “It’s alliterative don’t you know? Everybody just calls me Billy Joe. May I ask your name?”

She said, “It’s Milly Wilson.” It’s short for Millicent. My sister down below is Marigold. Everybody calls her Mary. My Brother is Lance, which is short for Lancelot. My parents had very strange ideas when it came to naming their children.

The other guy is somebody Mary picked up at the hotel. I don’t know his name.”

That was interesting. I had assumed that they were married because Mary and the guy were already getting rambunctious. In fact, they had gotten to the point where I thought we were going to have to batten the cabin hatch to dampen the noise.

Both Milly and Lance were completely ignoring that show. Apparently Marigold did that a lot. I said, “Which ship are you off of?”

She said, we flew into Hewanorra yesterday. My sister Maddie and her husband are going to join us here this evening. I used to baby sit their little boy. He is named Billy too. We all adore him.” 

Then she realized that she had more-or-less implied that my name was childish and blushed. I said, “Don’t worry about it. I’m from Alabama and every William down there is either Billy Bob, or Billy Joe. No offence taken.” 

I gave her an affable smile and went back to steer. She gave me an odd sleepy smile and went up front to sun herself. Buster just sat next to me slobbering.

I was watching the tell-tales on the sails for a little while in order to gauge the wind. When I looked back up the foredeck I nearly dumped the entire boat. She had taken off her polo shirt and shorts and was just spreading out a towel to lie down on.

I expected her to be in some sort of sexy bikini. Instead, she was wearing a microfiber one piece swimsuit. It covered her entire body in black fabric. And if it had been made out of cotton she would have almost seemed modest.

But because the material was one-micron thick polymer every nuance and feature of that absolutely superb female body was visible. It was like she was wearing nothing but black paint. It was such an erotic sight that I sprang something inappropriate. Thank God her older brother and his wife were watching the wake or I might have been keelhauled on my own boat. 

To say that she had a superb body was an understatement. It looked like an idealized drawing of female anatomy. Janet has a body to die for. But it is built for sex, huge tits, tiny waist and the kind of ass and hips that you want to grab two handfuls of and ram yourself into. This woman was built for speed and strength, lithe and sleek. I have never seen any woman so striking.

When you looked at her, an image of a Cheetah, or a Formula One car, or a supersonic fighter plane came to mind, lethally effective and potent. It was the female form as originally intended by the Designer. But perfectly rendered in flesh. It was awe inspiring.

I changed my assessment from tennis player to dancer. You don’t get a body that perfect, tight and yet supple without years of dance training. It clearly wasn’t ballet though. Ballerinas are flat chested. They have to be in order to keep the straight physical lines of the ballet.

This woman had two very big round hills perfectly anchored as high as possible on her chest. Janet’s boobs are massive and of necessity float on her ribs. This woman’s tits didn’t move. It was like comparing a big cantaloupe to a watermelon.

I was actually kind of disillusioned by the faultlessness of her boobs. Because the only conclusion I could draw from their absolute perfection was that she had had bought them. And I am not interested in a woman who would do that to herself. It was just that she didn’t seem like that kind of person. She was the most forthright, open and modest soul I had ever known. I felt the first seeds of something growing.


I dropped my passengers at the Fort-de-France Marina Dock which is right in the middle of the city. The cruise terminal is next door and I was under diesel all of the way across Fort-de-France Bay. That was because I needed the agility to NOT end up under the keel of one of the monster cruise ships coming and going from there like elephants among chipmunks. 

I saw all of my passengers off onto the dock and then pulled back into the harbor and dropped the anchors. Coming into Fort-de-France is a little like the approach to Calais, same waterfront and Norman church tower. But the housing that runs all the way up the surrounding hills is pure island creole.

They had decided to just spend the day shopping since they were going to meet their older sister and her family that night. Mary and her boy-toy wanted to stay on-board and drink. But I convinced them that the local distilleries had tasting rooms so it was worth the trip.

Seemingly, the prospect of free high grade rum piqued their interest more than sex. Plus, they had already had enough of THAT to tide them over for a while. Mary was a puzzle. She was clearly a first-class, buttoned-down yuppie woman, very much in command. At the same time she had spent the three hours it took to get over to Martinique drinking and carousing with a stranger who was about ten years younger than she was.

Plus, it was obvious that the two of them had gotten quite friendly in my little forward cuddy. It was no skin off my nose. And I had plenty of spare sheets to change the bed. But the contrast between her uptight exterior and her unselectively voracious appetite was thought-provoking.

Milly spent the time on the way over to Martinique on the foredeck working on her tan. She was alternating lying on her back, and then her front. Whatever side she was on was so distracting that I stopped looking straight off the bow.

She was comfortable with her family there. And not trying to be exhibitionistic in any way.  But the material of the suit was so thin that it was like she was naked. It smoothed out the valleys. So some things were still left to the imagination. But her woman goods were on full display.

As a result, when she was lying on her stomach her magnificent jutting buns and her powerful hips were giving me a hard-on. And when she was on her back her big round meaty boobs were even more disturbing. Particularly because the sun made her nipples sprout to acorn proportions.

Even covered by the suit those two features looked like stalwart watch towers standing proudly on the magnificent mounds of her chest. That vision was making me harder than titanium.  And I am not even going to get into what happened to me when she turned over.

For a very short period she was on all-fours in that classic doggy position. The suit kept things from being too explicit. But the outline of those big fat lips in between her full muscular legs was giving me thoughts that I hadn’t had in over a year.

In fact, on the short ride over to Martinique, Milly and that suit seemed to have completely cured me of whatever sexual dysfunctions Janet might have created. It was a fucking miracle!

Milly changed back into the polo and shorts to go into the City. She would have set off civil insurrection among the male population if she had appeared there in that suit. As she was stepping up onto the dock she said rather hopefully, “Would you like to come with us?”

I said, “I would love to but I have to keep an eye on the boat. You guys have a good time. The Rue Victor Hugo is the place where the expensive shops are. And if you want to eat try Chez Carole. The Rum Distillery Tour at Le Diamant is to die for.”

She said, “Thank you” and shyly squeezed my arm. I knew what THAT meant.

Buddy and I sat in the sun all day and waited. I normally kill the time playing on the internet, or reading. Today I was just thinking. I had been badly burned by a beautiful woman and I was not interested in revisiting that experience.

But this girl, and she was still only mid-twenties, seemed different. There was something special about her. It was her rock solid sense of personal integrity, which she just exuded. She was a giver, not a taker. And in that respect she was poles apart from Janet.

For one thing she was not a vamp. Janet for all of her intelligence and common sense knew the effect that she had on men and she was always up for using it. Milly either didn’t know that she was smoking hot gorgeous, or it didn’t matter to her.

Janet was a professional games player. That is what all sales people really are. Milly was so forthright in the way that she approached people that she was like the girl next door, almost naïve in her worldview. It was refreshing.

Janet’s intelligence was like a guy’s, always on display for others to see. You could tell how smart she was just by talking to her. In some respects Milly might be smarter. But it was a woman’s intelligence, subtle, nuanced and less conspicuously egocentric.

And did I mention her innate sexuality? She had wanted to burn me at the stake, for checking her out. But there was something in the way that she walked and held herself that made me think that once you got her motor running she might be even hotter than Janet. And Janet was like an active volcano.

Her mention of her sister’s children also fascinated me. We were childless because Janet wanted a career. Milly seemed to have a special love for children. That fit perfectly with all of the other elements of her personality. And I wanted kids.

Using the word, “together” to describe somebody is so 1960s. But that was Milly in a nutshell. She was comfortable within her own skin. She knew who she was and she had nothing that she needed to prove. She was cheerful, open and kind and spontaneously affectionate. And for the first time in almost 14 months I found myself speculating about romance.

That was the point where my little voice reminded me that I was at least thirteen years older than she was. So it was unlikely she would even find me attractive. She probably had plenty of hot young twenty-something studs to take care of her needs at home. But I was wondering if she might like to try an island fling with an older man, just to get me back in the game so to speak. 

They finally called at 7:00 and told me to pick them up. The women were loaded with bags and boxes from the nearly Parisian shopping experience that Martinique offers. The older brother wanted to tell me about the Central Market like I had never been there. Then he and his wife went up forward holding hands. It was kind of sweet.

Mary and her boy-pet were sloshed from the rum tour and they quickly retired to the cabin closing the hatch behind them.  Definitely an unsubtle hint.

Milly came and sat with me and Buddy at the wheel. She was doing that woman thing where they start to want to get to know you better.  The sun setting in the tropics is very romantic and it was off our right shoulder in all of its purple and gold glory.  She was sitting on the bench next to the helmsman’s chair with her arms wrapped around those fabulous legs solemnly studying me, watching me steer.

I said, “Do you want to try it?” She looked absolutely delighted and said, “Can I?”

I shifted over to let her onto the bench. Her rock hard flank and leg against mine was doing wonderful things for my libido.  I showed her the compass and said, “Make sure that little arrow is pointing toward 170 and keep it there. A sailboat is like a living thing. The helmsman, the boat and the wind are all parts of the same entity. So steer by feel.”

She gave me a dreamy look and then went back to steering. She was chewing on her lower lip, concentrating furiously. It was totally endearing. I was aware of that superb female body plastered against my side but it was more like companionship, a bonding experience rather than a sexual moment.

As she steered she casually said, “Were you born down here?”

I knew what she was fishing for. I have not talked to a single person on that island about my former life. I was a boat bum to her and that is the way I was going to keep it. I said, “No, I am from the States but this is where I want to be.”

I didn’t add, “Until my heart heals.”

She said, still fishing, “Are you married, do your wife and kids live here with you?”

I said, “I have neither. It’s just me and Buddy.”

She said, “Aren’t you lonely?”

I said, “Once in a while.”

She had no idea HOW lonely I was and I was never going to enlighten her. There was nothing left to say after that. So we just sailed along in comfortable comradeship in the rapidly growing darkness.

I took over when it became full dark. She lay back on the bench with her hands behind her head and said with wonder, “Look at those stars?”

I said, “The Ocean at night puts you in touch with the universe. Reminds you how small and unimportant you are in the great scheme of things.”

For the past 400 or so days I had needed the continual reminder that the events in my life meant nothing to anybody else. It kept me sane. But sitting here with this woman was thawing me out. I was beginning to think of future rather than past. That fact terrified me.

I dropped them at the Sandals dock. Their tip was generous. Milly had been getting more and more agitated as we came in on the diesels. Finally, she turned to me and said with anxiety in her voice, “Can I hire you to show my sister and her family around tomorrow? They could use a good guide.”

I said, “Certainly, just call this number” and I gave her one of my cards. I was disturbed by how happy that made me. They all trooped up the dock carrying the booty they’d gotten from pillaging the shops in Martinique.

Actually Mary and her beau, who seemed to have fucked several times from the sounds emanating from the cabin, were staggering. And Milly was walking ahead of them with pantherish grace. She was an absolutely stunning woman. A trophy that any man would be proud of.


The following morning my phone woke me up. It was 8:00. It was Milly and she sounded disgustingly chipper.  I had gotten the boat docked and done the usual post excursion maintenance and cleaning by midnight. But for the first time in a long time I drank myself to sleep.

I always keep the door to the cuddy open so I can use the head at night. And Buddy always sleeps at the foot of the ladder leading down into the cabin for our mutual security. But for some reason I had closed the cuddy door and it was already getting hot in there. I think that was an indication of my confused state of mind.

Milly said, “My sister and her family want to take an excursion. Can you pick us up at the dock again?”

I said, “Where do you want to go?”

She said, “Just around the Island. I told them how wonderful it is to be out on the ocean in your boat.”

I really didn’t need the money but I wanted to see her again. So an hour later I was pulling in to the same landing spot that I had visited the day before. My faithful beast was standing at his usual post on the bow looking as nautical as Lord Horatio Nelson himself. All he needed was a waistcoat and a spyglass.

Milly hopped onto the boat before I had actually gotten it tied up. There were seven of them this time, although four of them didn’t count for much space. There was a woman who was as stunningly attractive as Milly. She was shorter and she had Janet sized boobs. Her face was as perfectly proportioned as Milly’s. And she was just gorgeous.

She was late-thirties and she was holding a 4-year-old boy with one hand and a six-year-old girl with the other. An older kid, perhaps 12 was helping a girl who looked to be about 8 onto the boat. The little girl had her mother’s exceptional beauty. And even at 8 she was starting to grow hips. She also seemed to absolutely hero-worship the older boy.

It was the Dad who worried me. In fact he frightened me so much that I almost backed out and took off.

That is because the dad was Bill Hughes. He is a hacker extraordinaire who I knew through my work with the alphabet Agencies in Washington. He owns a big company that specializes in penetration testing and he would know Professor William Butler if that guy still existed.

Fortunately Billy Joe the boat bum didn’t look even remotely like that other guy. And I was counting on Hughes not expecting to encounter me on the Island of St. Lucia.  But I wished I had grown a beard. They all boarded, the kids somewhat gingerly. It was clearly a new experience for all of them. Everybody was provided a life vest and I got out to sea far enough to hoist the sails.

While I was motoring out, the kids were all loving on poor Buddy. He was standing there suffering their attention. But he was cutting me looks like, “Save me Boss!!”

I just assumed that Milly and I would do the sail hauling since she was getting to be an old hand. But she immediately involved the older boy and girl. She even added the six year old to her deck crew. The six-year-old was obviously an exceptional specimen of female athleticism, just like her aunt.

I unbattened the sail and Milly and her hearty crew took it from there. They didn’t even use the winch. They just hauled the sail up the mast. It was like Yo-Ho-Ho and a bottle of rum. That particular feat of master seamanship was attributable mainly to the fact that the bosun who was supervising the work was in all probability as strong as I was.

On the other hand it was a wonderful nurturing gesture. It was something that only a woman who loved and understood children would make. Her older sister was watching all of them work the sails with love burning in her eyes. I was beginning to see what a real caring family looked like.

I was also relieved to see that her husband Bill, who she was wrapped around like a high school girl, clearly had no clue who I was. We did a complete circuit off shore from Castries around Vieux-Fort Bay. I anchored off Sandy Beach and ran them in for a picnic. That is the best beach on the island. Even if the tranquility is occasionally shattered by the noise of a jet arriving at Hewanorra Airport. Which is located right behind it. 

I let Milly steer part of the way along the coast. She surprised me by asking, “Can Billy try it?”

Billy was the 12 year old. Milly and that kid seemed to have a special relationship. It was almost like she was his “other” mother. I had never met a brighter and more manly and respectful kid so against my better judgment I said, “Sure.” The kid took the wheel under Milly’s guidance and the two of them steered for several minutes. I could tell by his reaction that the boy would be hooked on the sea for the rest of his life.

My response to Milly and her sister, whose name was Maddie, was interesting. Maddie was the oldest and Milly was the youngest, Lance and Mary were in between. Maddie was Janet all over. She was beautiful and voluptuous beyond belief. She was smart, funny and as clearly sexual as Messalina herself. Like I said, Janet.

When I found out that Maddie was also a Harvard educated lawyer THAT sealed the deal. She WAS Janet incarnate. Hopefully without the sluttiness. Nonetheless Milly topped Maddie in all categories.

Maddie had a certain “force of nature” presence about her that made her seem seriously self-assured, almost cocky. Milly had the same strength of character and was just as confident and forceful. But she was the baby of the family. So she came off lighthearted, clever and focused on others.

And of course there was that magnificent body. I almost couldn’t look at her she was so heartbreakingly hot. But she was totally unselfconscious about how she looked. It was almost like she didn’t realize that she was a one-in-a-million beauty.

Milly was like Peter Pan with the Lost Boys with Maddie’s children. She was the fun one, where Maddie was the parent. And Milly seemed to not think about anything except how to amuse Maddie’s kids. It spoke volumes about her loving spirit.

Maddie’s Harvard Law Degree reminded me that I didn’t know anything about Milly’s background. And make no mistake about it. At that point I was beginning to think about Milly in ways that were going to involve a background check. So I said, “What do you do Milly? Are you in school? I never asked.”

She said totally offhand, like she was telling me the time, “When we get back from vacation I am starting a residency in Pediatric Neonatology at the University of Michigan Hospital.”

Holy shit! She was an MD? It never crossed my mind that this smoking-hot young woman could be a doctor. It fit her personality perfectly. But that type of accomplishment for somebody so young and beautiful never entered my mind. Talk about being a condescending geezer.

Thank God nobody asked me what I did. They just assumed. But husband Bill was beginning to cut me glances like he was trying to decide whether he knew me or not. I wanted to get to know Milly a lot better. That was before I made any hasty decisions about my return to the reality of the grown-up world. And I didn’t want my cover blown in the meantime.

So we packed up the lunch that the people at Spinnakers cater for me. And I took them all back to the boat in the Zodiac. When I dropped them at the dock Hughes hauled out his wallet and asked me, “How much?”

I told him that the trip was on the house. I really enjoyed my day with them. That set off the usual guy thing about, “Take it! No YOU take it!”

Finally I told him that if he and Maddie and Milly would join me for dinner I would call it square.


They met me at Spinnakers at 7:00. The two sisters were absolute visions. Both of them were in light linen dresses with tropical prints. Both of those dresses showed off their magnificent legs and their superb boobs.

There was ten years difference in their age but they would have looked like twins if you could ignore the fact that Maddie was four inches shorter. They were absolutely enchanted by the venue. I knew they would be.

There were three dudes doing something with steel drums and guitars that was so typically creole that it was like they had been hired to provide the night’s Caribbean cliché. I liked the aspect in Milly’s eyes. They were shining every time she looked at me.

She was stunning tonight. Both sisters have the kind of perfectly proportioned, even features that just please your eye. You feel drawn to it every time you look at them. But fully made up, Milly’s eyes and cheekbones and that wide sensuous mouth just pulled me in like gravity. Every warning bell and claxon was going off in my mind. I was falling in love with this stunning creature.

I had been shit on by one beautiful woman. I absolutely did NOT want to give a female a shot at me. Especially one who was younger and even hotter than the woman who had burned me. But the attraction was inescapable. For the first time in 14 months I was not thinking about my ex-wife. Instead I was thinking about the beautiful woman who was sitting across from me and wondering where a future might lead us.

And I was counting on my role as beach bum to save me from doing something ill-advised with Milly Wilson. As long as I was one of the local fauna I could get to know this lovely creature. And I could confirm that she was who she appeared to be.

And maybe I could worm my way into her heart at the same time. I was afraid that if she knew me without understanding what I could offer her, she would blow me off like the dirty old man I was beginning to feel like. After all, I was contemplating robbing the cradle in a very hot and sweaty fashion.

That was the exact point where Maddie’s husband totally blew up all of my hopes. Naturally!!!! Billy Joe Butler has always been some vindictive god’s personal speed-bag.

Husband Bill said with sheer astonishment, “I have been trying to figure out whether I know you. And I have to ask you.”

Oh, Shit! Here it comes.

“Are you Billy Joe Butler? And you know the Billy Joe Butler I am referring to.”

I thought about trying to lie my way out of it. But these were good people and I owed them respect. I said rather shamefaced, “Yes, I’m THAT Billy Joe Butler.”

He said, “What in the world are you doing down here? I would have never recognized you.”

I said, “I hit a bump in the road and when the pieces all hit the ground they landed me in St. Lucia.”

He said, “What about Janet, is she here too?”

Milly looked like she was going to cry. She said timorously, “Janet??”

I said wearily, “She was the bump. We have been divorced for over a year. I am down here getting myself together after that life ending event.”

He said, “What about??” And before he could finish his thought I said, “I know what you are going to ask. I took a sabbatical. I am going back there in a little under four weeks.”

Maddie said, “Wait a minute. We all thought you were some kind of island beach bum. Do you mean to tell us that you are actually a big-time academic in the States?”

The cat was so well and truly out of the bag that I figured I might as well just shoot it in the head and be done with it. I said, “Yes, I am a Full Professor there. And the reason why your husband knows me is that we both do stuff for the National Counter Terrorism Center.”

I turned to Milly, who was silently weeping. I said, “I’m sorry Milly. I have been living the boat life so long that the guy they are talking about is really another person. I truly hope that you understand that I was not trying to deceive you. It is just that the last 14 months I have been agonizing over what my wife did to me. And for a change, I was beginning to develop real feelings for another person.”

I said with total sincerity, “I know that sounds presumptuous but you have managed to restore my faith in womankind and I simply didn’t want to confuse that with the rest of my sad story.”

She looked at me and said. “You should have been honest with me. I was falling in love with you.”

Then she stood up, turned to her brother-in-law and said with quiet dignity, “Take me home. The dinner is on him” and stalked out of the place. I am used to my relations with women ending in disaster so I didn’t follow. The sadness descended on me as I walked back to my only true friend.

He greeted me in his usual snuffling doggy manner, “Welcome back boss. Struck out again I see.”


It was hard to leave my life in St. Lucia but my sabbatical was up and I would owe the University a year’s salary if I was not back in the classroom on the day after Labor Day. The situation with Milly had torn the scab off the deep wound that Janet had inflicted. And I felt like I was bleeding-out again.

It was kind of embarrassing actually. I have nothing but scorn for any man who continues to play the brokenhearted pussy 16 months after a divorce. But here I was doing exactly that. What was strange was that I was grieving over the loss of Milly, not Janet. 

I packed and left. Jean-Claude was there to see me go. I had given him the nest-egg I had stashed in case I decided to stay. We had earned it together. He almost looked like he was going to refuse it. You had to know Jean-Claude to know how touching that gesture was. Money is a sacrament for him.

He yelled, “Bon Chance Mon Ami” as I motored out, “Au revoir.” And then he disappeared from view around the bend in the Bay.

I had a hairy time in the Straits of Florida. The first weather of the hurricane season was blowing in and I just got north of it before I ran into any situation involving actual lifeboats. Once I got into the inter-costal the sailing was a lot smoother. But the journey was still very bleak and overcast, at least as far as my state of mind was concerned.

I was going back to the life I had made for myself. But there was no love there.


I had gotten my hair whacked back to business professional standards. It was still white blond and people with my kind of tan are rare in DC, so I stood out. In addition, I was more-or-less rawhide now, not soft and pudgy like the majority of the people around me.

But Billy Joe the happy beach-bum was solidly in my past. I was back to being Professor William Butler the solitary bachelor. The second week I was back I came out of my morning lecture to find Maddie leaning nonchalantly against the wall. To say the least it was a shocking surprise. She was absolutely the LAST person I expected to run into in my present life.

She had on the same gear as the rest of the students, short pleated skirt and pullover sweater, bare legs and Topsiders without socks. But she was impossible to miss. That was because she was far and away the hottest looking woman in the hallway, if not the entire campus. Man she was gorgeous!

I was startled to see her and curious about why she was there. So I walked over. I got the impression that she was used to people coming to her and not the other way around. I said, “Hello Maddie. I never thought I would see you again.”

She pushed off the wall and stood in front of me. She put her hands on my shoulders at arm’s length. She just silently studied me. Her expression was unreadable. It wasn’t hostile but it wasn’t friendly either. It was like I was her four year old and I had just shit myself in public. She didn’t know what to do with me. Finally she said, “Is there someplace private where we can talk?”

I thought, “Oh-oh! Is there a problem?”

I said, “My office is just upstairs if you want to go there. Or we can go to the Toombs if you want to talk in a more public place.”

She said, “I could use a cup of coffee” and walked off in the direction of the parking lot without even looking back to see if I would follow. She was unquestionably one confident woman. I had come by means of the Metro so she had to drive me. On the way over we exchanged the general getting-to-know you information.

It turns out that she lived in the Palisades just up from the University. So coming down to see me was no big deal. I also didn’t need to ask her how she found me since my location on every Tuesday and Thursday at 10:00 is published on the internet. It’s one of the things about on-line class schedules. Apparently husband Bill was watching the kids.

We found a table and we both ordered coffee. Everybody in the place was trying to figure out who Maddie was. She was even hotter looking than Janet in the big-busted exotic looks category, which attracts every male’s attention.

The people in the place who knew my real story were all giving me approving glances. Maddie is a lawyer and lawyers know how to get to the heart of the matter. Since I didn’t think she was there to ask me to come to one of the kids’ birthday parties I knew what we were going to talk about.  So I thought I would preempt the conversation.

I said, “If Milly thought I was playing her I want to apologize once more. You can see how different the world down there is. The evidence is all around you here. I had only known your sister for two days at that point. And it just didn’t seem appropriate to try to explain my convoluted history.”

She focused more intently on me. Her eyes were pools of intelligence and rock solid strength. She said, “Okay - then tell ME.”

I took a long breath and said, “I was happily married to a woman who was almost as beautiful as you and Milly. She was my best friend, lover and life’s companion. I never thought my idyllic life would ever change.”

The embarrassment crept into my voice as I added, “But I caught her cheating with her boss. In her defense I am pretty sure that she would have never betrayed me if the guy had not been so bloody persistent. It was just one of those unfortunate circumstances where all of the conditions required to sell me out clicked into place at one time.”

I added with regret, “Nevertheless, when she did cheat it was a “perfect storm”. In fact, she cheated with such selfish abandon that she blew up every aspect of our special marriage bond. And all of a sudden nothing in my life seemed certain anymore.”

I finished with, “If you ask me honestly, I don’t think Janet would ever do it again. But I wouldn’t bet on it. Watching her doing all of those slutty acts with that man had the effect of reversing the polarity of our relationship. I was always strongly attracted to her. Then after witnessing what she did in that hotel room I was just as strongly repelled.”

Maddie looked like she categorically accepted what I had just said. I wondered whether there wasn’t something similar in HER past. I added. “Worse, she was so contrite and remorseful afterward that I found myself being drawn back into her orbit. And I would have lost all respect for myself as a man if I had allowed that to happen.”

So I said, with some bitterness, “I decided to build a firebreak between the two of us by going somewhere different. Someplace where I could get my head back on straight.”

I looked at her closely, to make sure that she got the message and said, “That new version of me was the person you encountered down there. I had pretty much decided that a life of celibacy would be preferable to the pain that having a woman in your life can cause you. And the simple world of a boat-bum was very appealing to me.”

I added with as much sincerity as I could muster, “Then I met your sister. There was something about her that cured all of my trust issues. It was a totally inexplicable reaction. It wasn’t something I thought about. It was instantaneous. She is just so real, unpretentious and kind. It was like a miracle.”

I said, “Down there I was acting like a little child, hiding out from the facts of my real life. Then I met her. Suddenly I wanted a woman to respect me again. I wanted to live up to the standard that she set for me. I could believe in her and her fundamental integrity and honesty. And for the first time in 14 months my life had direction and purpose. I was strong again. And I could face anything including Janet’s betrayal. 

I said sadly, “That all came tumbling down when your husband outed me and she left. I just hope Milly understands that I was not trying to deceive her for any dishonorable reasons. I only wanted some time to try to convince her that even though I am older I could be a good match for her, if she would ever consider letting me into her life.”

Maddie snorted. She said with sarcasm, “Seriously??? For such a smart guy you are really stupid. I can’t believe that you were not able to see that Milly was totally in love with you. And she has been since the moment she laid eyes on you and that smelly mutt. I am convinced that ever member of your gender is totally brain dead.”

Then she added with determination, “Milly saved my marriage when Bill was suffering from the same kind of dementia. And now it is time for me to save hers. YES, she was a little upset when she found out that you are not who you appeared to be. But she expected you to call the next day and explain it to her. It just destroyed her when you up-and abandoned ship without another word.”

She patted my hand and said sarcastically, “You must have some very serious confidence issues, Pilgrim. I would not be here if Millie wasn’t suffering so much. But she has been a basket case for the past five weeks. And I am getting tired of waiting for you to get your head out of your ass. So I decided to kick-start this thing. Milly will be in town tomorrow and I expect you to make it right with her.”

That was said in a tone of voice that brooked no insubordination from the peanut-gallery.

I said, “But she is the most stunningly attractive woman I have ever known. She is gorgeous, a perfect specimen of feminine beauty. She is an MD and thirteen years younger than I am.  She must have a million better looking and more eligible suitors?”

Maddie shook her head and laughed bitterly, “Like I said, DENSE!”

She said, “Women fall in love with men. Men have nothing to do with that decision. None of you have the slightest idea about how intimacy works. If it were up to you, humans would have died out eons ago.  It probably has something to do with a woman’s responsibility to bear children. But the decision to be with someone is a complex choice that you lesser brained creatures can never seem to comprehend. And we make it solely on our own.”

Her beautiful face got a faraway look. It was like she was remembering something. She said quietly, “When a woman finds the right person she knows it. It is some atavistic ability that we have. It is partly instinctual. You just see that you can share your life with a man. It’s a combination of chemistry and probably your upbringing and inclinations. And a smart woman recognizes that right away. And the only way a woman can fuck it up is if we don’t listen to what our instincts are telling us.”

She said, like she was instructing a small child, “When a woman like Milly makes the decision to love a man, the only requirement is that the man have the balls to step up and cement the connection. You have been the typical male idiot so far. You are overthinking everything and you have no self-confidence whatsoever. But then again, given your history with women that is understandable.”

 She looked at me like she wanted to make sure that I got the message, “Let me assure you that there is nobody with a greater sense of loyalty and devotion than Milly. She is the baby in the family. I basically raised her. I know that she would NEVER betray you, like that other woman did. It is simply not in her DNA. Milly wants to share her life with you. So, you have to pick her up at DCA tomorrow and take her someplace where you can iron this out. You need her in your life, just as much as she needs you. So get it done, or you will have to answer to me.”

She really meant that and I believed her. She handed me the arrival information.  She added, “If I don’t see her this weekend it will be perfectly all-right. In fact, I would prefer not to see her because it will mean you are getting this fixed. And let me assure you that you will never be sorry that you did, because Milly is the best woman that you, or any other man for that matter, could ever hope for in his life. She will make you happy.”

With that she stood up and said. “I hope to see you at all of the family functions.” And without another word she turned and left. I was sitting there flabbergasted. The roller coaster had hit bottom and was now rocketing to the top of some yet unexplored pinnacle. And I was not going to fumble the ball this time.


Accordingly, the following day I was standing at the place where passengers pass through the final TSA check point in Terminal Three at Reagan. It would be a gross understatement to say that I was nervous. I was probably surer of myself walking up to Susie Franklin’s door, pimples and all, the night of my Junior Prom.

The last time I had seen Milly she was walking out of my life. So as far as I knew it was even odds that she might decide to tell me what she thought of me right in front of all of her fellow passengers.  Or she might take one look at me and walk right past without acknowledging me. I frankly didn’t know why I was standing there. But hope springs eternal.

She came through the passageway dragging her little roller bag. She was a perfect picture of feminine attractiveness, wrapped in the lethal grace of a big hunting cat. Every male behind her was checking out her ass and legs. All of the ones watching her approach couldn’t take their eyes off of her superb chest. The image of another beautiful woman dragging her roller bag up the platform to the train flashed through my mind.  I was overwhelmed by searing pain.

My little voice snickered and said, “You really are a hopeless pussy.”

That pain was blown completely to smithereens by the events of the next several seconds. When she saw me standing there the emotions that passed across her lovely face were crystal clear and totally eloquent. In approximately five seconds Milly went from bored traveler, to not believing her eyes, to pure unadulterated joy. 

She is just like her sister though, totally self-contained. So she didn’t come running to me and throw herself weeping into my arms. Instead she calmly walked up to me and said, “Where’s the car?” Like she had expected me to be there all along. I politely offered to take her bag. She declined just as politely. The Wilson women drag their own bags.

It was a long walk to the car. She strode along next to me in her four inch heels, the ones that show off those marvelous legs. She was lightly holding onto my arm. Anybody seeing us would just assume that we had been married for years. Not a word was said. We didn’t need words. When we got to the car I said, “The boat is too cramped, so I have a room at the Madison if that is alright with you. Otherwise you can stay with your sister.”

She looked at me like I was a total moron and said, “Why would I want to stay with my sister?”

I had reservations at the Old Ebbit for 7:00. We had not talked much on the ride up Massachusetts from 395. Both of us knew that would come over dinner. I told her a little about my trip back. She told me about the start of her new Residency. Her love for children just bubbled out of her. We still had some time to kill so I checked us in first. I had gotten us one of the Madison’s suites so I sat in the lounge portion while she went in the bedroom to change out of her travel clothes.

I heard the sound of a shower and then several minutes later she came out of the bedroom dressed in what was obviously nothing but a robe. There were forces of unspeakable magnitude moving around underneath the fabric that was barely covering her nakedness. I stood as she sashayed utterly unself-consciously up to me.

She said with some urgency in her voice, “Let’s get this over with.” And she threw her arms around my neck, molded herself against me and opened her mouth in the hottest kiss I had ever been given by a woman. It was our first kiss. Her mouth was burning.  It was literally hot.

Holding Milly was the first time I had held a woman in my arms in over 15 months. I had not kissed anybody since that fateful final day with Janet. It was an exquisite sensation, worth the wait. Her hard body with its dazzling pillow tits was plastered against me. She was searching for my tongue with her full lips while she made little excitement noises.

I grabbed her in a hug that would have broken the ribs of a less powerful female. Then my hands slid down that long supple waist to the incredible sensation of those two big powerful buns. Janet had a nice rear. It was a classic female butt round soft and pliant. Milly’s buns were big too. But they were rock hard, not an ounce of fat on them. And they were presently moving wildly under my hand as she rubbed her mound against my rapidly expanding interest.

I think that she had just meant to give me a fervent kiss. It was to break the ice, as it were. If that was her intention she totally underestimated our attraction. It had been building since I first laid eyes on her on that dock. And it had reached a level of energy that was like the collision of two planets.

Whatever ice there might have been vaporized instantly. I pulled her roughly to me by her butt. She let out an unearthly cry of passion. That was it for both of us. She threw off her robe in one motion and dragged me toward the bed.

She was frantically tugging on my belt and unzipping me as she walked backwards. She was emitting little moaning cries as she did it. She shucked my pants and underwear around my ankles in one motion. That tripped me and I fell face first onto the bed knocking her backwards.

She sprawled on her back legs wide apart. I landed between them with my face nearly buried in that perfect pussy. That was far too mouthwateringly scrumptious for me to pass up. So while she was trying to get herself re-situated on the bed, I spread her lips with the intention of giving her clit a severe tongue lashing.

I was really just trying to keep her interested while I got my shirt off. But I also have to admit that I like to kick off the game with oral sex. I suppose it’s a power and control thing. It drives women nuts. And I like my women very receptive when we get around to the main event. Janet used to go crazy when I did that to her. But I had never run into a woman like Milly.

The minute my tongue touched her clit she exploded. She groaned loudly and began 10 seconds of hyperventilating. Her hips went up once and then down and then she came in a wildly bucking frenzy. I hadn’t gotten my shirt completely off yet. I couldn’t imagine how a woman could get to orgasm that quickly.

Female sexuality is a mystery to every guy. We know what women like. But their responses are individual to each. Or, in simple terms some women like pork more than others. Milly was clearly right at the top of THAT scale. 

I have to have a sensual bed partner in order to be satisfied. Her getting off is part of my own sexual satisfaction. Maybe it’s a validation thing? Whatever it is, it is a personal necessity for me to have a multi-orgasmic partner. I married Janet partly because she was so insanely responsive. But Milly was a whole lot hotter.

Her first orgasm really lit her fire. Her next act was to reach down between her legs and frantically grab me by the side of my head and drag me up her body. I had to come along or I would have been in two pieces, head one place and body someplace else.

You would have to be inordinately strong to do that.  My trip up over her body was lubricated by her sweat. She was writhing madly as I slid over her. Her stomach was so flat and muscular you could see the underlying structure. Janet had a flat stomach but it was not defined like Milly’s was. 

The expression on her face was wild. She knew that I was there but she couldn’t see me because her eyes were rolled completely up in her head.  Her scent was bombarding every hormone I owned. Once she got me where she wanted me she was not going to be kept waiting. She reached down, grabbed Old Lucifer and just shoved him into her boiling hot silt. She was a Goldilocks fit, not too tight and not too loose, just right!

As I slid into her. She made a loud “Ahhhh!!!” of satisfaction. Then she started to buck like a wild-thing. We were perhaps five minutes into this and she had reached heights of passion that Janet could only dream about.

Why I didn’t cum then was beyond me because I was tightly engulfed in white hot silk. There were flutters going on in the surrounding walls that were like lightning strikes on the distant horizon at sea, powerful yet completely divorced from the frenzy of sexual activity that was going on around me.

She was gasping for breath as I hit the end of her passage. Then she began that age old rocking motion. She was emitting little grunts and sharp cries every time I bottomed out and muttering, “Oh-fuck-oh-fuck-oh-fuck!” Under her breath.

Then she started to outright scream it. She was just yelling, “Fuck me Billy, Fuck Me!!! Don’t Stop!!!! Don’t EVER Stop!” and then she reached up with her legs and wrapped them so tightly around my ass that the only person who could move was Milly.

She ground herself in ever widening circles on me and started the hyperventilating again. Then she screamed, “Cumming-cumming-cumming-OH GOD YESSSS!!!”

Her legs released me at that point and as she bucked and groaned with satisfaction I pounded myself to the desired conclusion. She was emitting little puffs of air with each thrust, so totally abandoned that drool was actually running out of the sides of her mouth.

The sight of her stunning face, utterly frenzied and out of control with desire, did it. I practically deposited my entire sexual system in her hungry hole. It was literally painful. While I was painting her womb she was moving her hips back and forth in exaggerated motions trying to milk every drop out of me. 

The whole thing took fifteen minutes at most. But I have to say that I felt more thoroughly fucked and totally fulfilled than if we had been going at it for hours. I don’t know whether it was the effect of true love. Or that Milly was just that superb a lover. But what we had just experienced was the hottest fuck I had ever had bar-none. It was so unworldly there was nothing in my past experience to compare it to. The woman was a goddess.

I was lying between her spread legs looking down at her. I saw that she was terrified. I am no smarter than the average man but I knew what that look meant. She was afraid that I would interpret her downright Animal Planet behavior as slutty. Instead of what it actually was, which was her gift to me. I had to tell her that I knew the difference.

I said, “You are an incredible woman. What we just shared has created a special bond between us that I hope we can keep for the rest of our lives. Or at least until I can’t get it up in my old age. I want to spend that life with you. I know that this is premature but we need to talk about our future together.”

One possible answer to that statement might be, “What are you talking about? I was just horny.” But I was counting on what Maddie had told me. As usual Maddie was right. The pure joy that spread over that exquisite face was gratifying. She said almost shyly “I’m yours if you want me.”

It was incredible, she was significantly younger than me, an absolute stunning beauty an accomplished professional who had successfully made her way in a man’s world and I might add the hottest piece of ass in the Solar System. And here she was humbly offering herself to me like she wasn’t everything that a man could ever desire wrapped in a single remarkable package.

I thanked the Lord for women’s insecurities. I said, “We have a lot of talking to do but I can’t imagine my life without you.”

We both adjourned to the shower which led to the most superb blowjob I have ever experienced followed by me pounding her senseless against the shower wall.


An hour later the cab dropped us at the Old Ebbit. It was just a short ride down 16th and over on H to 15th. I chose the place not so much because it was Grover Cleveland’s favorite hangout. I chose it because it has quiet and very private booths where you can carry on a meaningful evening’s conversation.

I was proud to arrive with her. She was incredible in a simple black dress and pearls, with the patent leather pumps that go along with that ensemble. Her muscular legs look spectacular in heels anyhow. She was not going out of her way to show off her breasts but they are so tightly gathered and naturally high on her chest that it would be impossible to wear a scooped dress and not display a lot of cleavage.

During our impromptu sexual encounter I had answered one lingering question. I now knew from close and lengthy examination that there was no silicon involved in the making of those magnificent boobs. They were all Milly.

We ordered and then I turned to her and said, “So can I assume that I am forgiven for not being as clear as I should have been about my status?”

She smirked and said, “You earned your forgiveness after my third orgasm.”

I said, “Do you want me to tell you my entire story?”

She said, “Maddie filled me in last night. I cried when I heard it. What a tragic situation. You must have loved her.”

Okay! All-In!!

I took a deep breath and said, “I love you a lot more. I have loved you since that first night on the boat under the stars. I love you for your wonderful nurturing spirit and the way that you have with children. I love your humble self-effacing soul. I love your cheerful love of life and I will love you forever if you will have me. I know I am a lot older than you are but I am in good shape. I have a good job and you will never doubt my commitment or my desire for you.”

Her eyes glistened with tears. She said, “So what does this mean? What are your telling me?”

You could see that she knew exactly what I was telling her but the minx wanted me to say it for the record. Sigh!! Once more unto the breach dear friends. I said, “If you would consider marrying me I would swear that you would never regret it.”

She reached across the table and grabbed my hands and said, “Yesss, Yesssss, a thousand times YES!!! I will make you the happiest man in the world.”

The sun came out, the little blue birds were chirping, the beautiful butterflies were fluttering around and suddenly my future looked nothing but perfect. But the Gods love to fuck with me.

At that precise moment Janet appeared next to our table. I hadn’t seen her since that moment at the back of the lecture hall 15 months ago. She gave me a delighted grin and said, “Billy!!! How wonderful to see you!!!” 

I realized with horror that running into Janet wasn’t exactly a coincidence. Old Ebbit is a hangout for the DC power players and the guy standing possessively behind her looked like one of those. I should have thought of that, Damn!!!

He was fiftyish and in one of those $4,000 silk suits that the K-Street boys favor. He was tall, wonderfully fit, smooth, handsome and utterly smug. He was not unlike Mr. Todd Breckenridge. Wrapped in a silk evening gown Janet was as alluring and sexual as ever. She is a beautiful woman and when she is firing on all of her cylinders, as she most obviously was tonight, she is stunning.

She was also wearing a rock that was slightly larger than the iceberg that sank the Titanic. So much for never replacing me. That didn’t take long!! Janet’s materializing like Beelzebub at the happiest moment of my life was one of those improbable curve-balls that the Fates like to occasionally throw at my head. However, this time I turned on their pitch and knocked it right out of the park.

If Janet had made the same kind of arrival one day earlier I would have probably thrown up my hands and run screaming out of the place. But I had this beautiful, remarkable and steadfast woman sitting by my side now. The woman who had just consented to be mine forever. And I was invincible with her as my partner. I was Hercules standing on Superman’s shoulders.

I rose to my feet and turned unhurriedly to face my former wife. She was looking hopefully back at me. It was like she was begging me to just drop Milly and run off with her. I said with all of the kindness I could muster, “It is good to see you too Janet.”

I could tell that my appearance puzzled her. Janet was used to the pudgy pasty me. I had turned myself into a bronzed specimen of ripped humanity since she had last seen me. And I could see by the sexual interest that flared in her eyes that she appreciated the transformation.

Milly had been sitting there, perhaps as shocked as I was. This could have been a total disaster for both of us. But my girl is a warrior. And of course she had the advantage of good breeding and a few extra IQ points.

She rose from her seat with her natural unaffected grace. That way Janet and her husband got a full view of the entire package, from the top of her thick auburn hair down that magnificent dancer’s body to the tips of those dainty little feet. 

That sight alone would be intimidating to any other woman, given Milly’s perfect shape and gorgeous face. But she was also almost four inches taller than Janet. So she was looking down at her. Janet gave me a confused look like, “Who the fuck is she??!!”

Milly extended her hand, totally self-possessed and said, “I am very pleased to meet you Janet. Billy has said SO many flattering things about you that I feel like I know you. Now that I have met you I can see that he actually understated your beauty.”

Then she paused for dramatic effect and said, “Let me introduce myself, I am Doctor Milly Wilson, Billy’s fiancée.”

Janet looked absolutely stupefied. Milly was clearly a decade younger than she was, just as beautiful and several degrees hotter on the woman scale. And she was a doctor?!!! I almost felt a modicum of pity for the adulterous bitch.

Milly turned to Janet’s husband and said, “I am pleased to meet you too sir.” The “sir” must have hurt but he WAS twice her age. Janet’s husband looked like he was beginning to fall in lust with Milly. A body that hot and a face that striking is hard to resist. What man WOULDN’T want her? My totally remarkable woman was a sight to behold. 

Janet got her voice back. She said, with total astonishment, “Doctor?? Do you teach at the University? I don’t believe I have ever heard of you.”

Milly said, “No, I’m an MD, not a PhD. I specialize in Pediatric Neonatology at the University Hospital in Ann Arbor Michigan. Billy has asked me to marry him and I accepted. So I will probably transfer down to George Washington University Hospital for the rest of my residency. ”

Point, game and match to Milly Wilson.

She couldn’t have been clearer. She had just hung out the “no trespassing” sign. I should have gotten some form of sick pleasure at the defeated look on Janet’s face. But I almost felt sorry for her. She looked flummoxed then she turned pale. She might be married to some other man. But she had obviously still held out hope. Milly’s declaration was the windshield to Janet’s the bug of Janet’s expectations.

Janet took a second to recover. And then she said brightly, “Well that is wonderful. Sydney and I have only been married for eight months. We are planning a honeymoon ln Europe as soon as we get the time.” That looked like news to her husband.

JAnet said with fake sincerity, “You will have to send us an invitation to your wedding.”

I was thinking that I would be dive bombed by flying pigs before that happened. I had already been to one wedding involving Janet. Been there! And done that! Nevertheless, I just smiled and said, “Certainly Janet and it was a pleasure seeing you.”

I kissed her on the cheek. It was a social gesture. I felt absolutely nothing doing it. I had the magnificent woman who I knew I would grow old with standing next to me. Any latent grief or personal agony had evaporated the moment that Milly had said, “Yes.”

In the end any additional thoughts of vengeance felt cheap. I turned to Janet’s husband, who was looking at her like she had lost her mind, and offered my hand. I said, “And congratulations to you Sydney. Janet will make you very happy, as she did me. I wish you two the very best.”

He looked skeptical. Was there already trouble in Paradise? How delicious!!! Without another word the two of them turned and Janet walked forever out of my life. She was holding the arm of her new husband. She was in the past now.

I turned to my future wife and said. Shall we go back to our place? We have lot of planning to do. She smirked and said, “You won’t be doing much planning tonight. I have other things in mind that I need you to do first. And I don’t think you will be getting much sleep. We have a lifetime to plan.”


Milly and I were standing together at Commissioning Week at the Naval Academy. We have just passed our ninth anniversary and our life seems to just keep getting better.

Her nephew Billy, the one who she had the special bond with, was one of the new Midshipmen. He has grown into the manly, respectful kid I first met steering the boat. And he will be leaving tonight for NAS Pensacola and a career as a carrier Top-Gun.

The other kids were standing with Bill and Maddie. I have my own special bond with the next oldest girl, whose name is Chelsea. She is another one of the Wilson women, truly gorgeous and smoking hot. In fact she might outdo her mother and aunt in the looks category, which is an exceptional achievement. But like her mother and aunt, she has a lot more going for her than her stunning beauty.

She is a true genius in all of the nerdy areas that I am expert in. Which is why we are so close. She has all of Milly’s wonderful self-effacing charm and I love her like she is my own child. I tried to talk her into coming to my University but she had her heart set on MIT. Nonetheless she will always have Uncle Billy as a best friend and mentor.

Milly is getting out of the window to have children. She has spent the nine years we have been married becoming one of the leading neonatologists in the Country. But hospital life is so NOT Milly. Instead, she has traveled to every third world hell-hole on the planet with USAID and Doctors without Borders setting up pediatric care facilities.

Her travels are over now because in six short months we expect twin girls. And like her sister, Milly takes motherhood seriously. So she will be taking a few years off to raise our daughters. She has frequently told me that her career achievements are nothing compared to the opportunity to nurture her own children.

I have no moral to end the story except this. Life is going to dump on you. But it will also hand you the occasional key to your own happiness. So it is important to keep bailing until that lifeline shows up. And then grab it and hold on to it for all you are worth. And most of all NEVER question your good fortune.

Author’s note:

The story of the Wilson girls continues with “To Have and Have Not”. We will get to know Marigold in that one. But we don’t find out what happens to Marigold until, “For Whom the Bell Tolls.”

© Copyright 2019 DT Iverson. All rights reserved.

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