The day I got run over.

The day I got run over. The day I got run over.

Status: Finished

Genre: Humor

Details

Status: Finished

Genre: Humor

Summary

The local transvestite knelt beside me and stroked my bleeding head.

Summary

The local transvestite knelt beside me and stroked my bleeding head.

Content

Submitted: May 16, 2016

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Content

Submitted: May 16, 2016

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The day I got run over was not a happy day.
If I had saw the car coming I’d have gone
the other fucking way. I heard the horn sounding
and the squalling of the tyres and as the bumper
struck my knees I thought, “Is it today
this old bastard suddenly expires?”

As I accelerated away from this mortal coil
I saw an angel on a cloud doing fuck all.
I shouted as I passed, “Is this the way to god?
“No!” She shouted indignantly. “Not today.
It’s his fucking day off!”

I watched my broken body plummeting
back towards the earth as the angel said
to me. “You'd better catch up with that you twat,
If you don’t wanna become a turd!”

I entered my body laying spread-eagled on the
cold wet ground, as a small laughing crowd from
the pub had gathered round. A women with a
tattooed face kicked me up the arse. “In future
mate,” she said. “Keep out the way of the fucking cars.”

“Is he dead?” Another said, as he gave me a poky-kick.
“If he’s dead, he said. I bags his walking stick.” The thought of
losing my trusted walloper of many a cheeky kids
arse. I shouted. “Get away from me you fucking tart.”

There was a bit of scuffling and laughing as they moved
away and as I sat up I thought great! “I live to fight
another fucking day.” The local transvestite knelt
beside me and stroked myy bleeding head. “You have been
in the wars honey.” He said. “Do you think my blue hat
goes with red?”

I told him he looked amazing especially with the green
slingback shoes. We went back to his place, well I had nothing
to lose.

Am I going to tell you what happened?

“No! Not bloody likely!”


© Copyright 2017 Desmo. All rights reserved.

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