falling in Love
Poem by: crystall
SING THY SCREAMS FOR ME
Thy skin shall sing the glory of my love
Through my love bites on it;
How intense my love is How high you shall scream for me ,
Will speak;
Your moans
Your groans
Your crazy chattering
Rhyming
Worshiping
Chanting my name
When my tongue lashes
At your bud so pink and pretty
Making you wetter and silly,
Thy floodgates shall break
With my tongue poking in you;
My mouth
You gotta kiss me again
To taste our love ,
I will carve my name on your body
with my teeth ;
My raw beauty , , I will be your doom
I shall be all yours
You will fall my angel
For me,
As I shall ..for you,
Together;
You ,
From the sky of success
And me ,
From the second hell
thats Earth;
Down
To the hell of love
Where our separation
Will hurt us;
Make us scream together!
The pain fucking our minds dry
Yet the love shall flow,
Until the blood doesnt stop
Pouring onto our hearts...
© Copyright 2017 crystall. All rights reserved.
Comments
Very intense, C. I love the way your words build and flow until the very last line. Really like this. :)
Author
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Thank you so much Amy !!
I love that you like it! That makes me very happy ????
Words they flow feelings they flood the heart like a river x
This was intense and deep and wonderful. Written with precise wording and flowed so beautifully. I loved it!
Author
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Thank you so much Awoken!!
I feel so very happy that you loved it !!!
The flow i wish seeps in to thy heart and make you feel each word making your heart throb like mine
Am so thankful to all of you!!!
Oh Bloody Hell and Brimstone! I'm gonna blow a gasket reading your poems, girl! Just WoW!!! Where to start with this....the 'off rhyme' of 'sing' and 'scream' in your leading line is fab...it's a hooker! It sets the tone too. There's a subtle 'kink' and domination theme here that makes it really HOT. You set it off with that first line and it keeps weaving and winding thru the piece.
'Chanting' and 'chattering' is alliteration of 'ch'...(poetic element).
"When my tongue lashes at your bud, so pink and pretty, making you wet and silly"....What a line that is! You have alliteration and 'off rhyme' in there. Lash is another word that alludes to S&M, to go along with biting and screaming. These are suggestive imagery. "Carve my name on your body with my teeth"...a little less subtle imagery! Whew... I like how you play with this line "You will fall, my angel"...your next line, "for me" is a continuation. That's a poetic element called 'enjambment', and you use it skillfully here to suggest two different meanings of that line. The first meaning would imply the disintegration of innocence; the addition 'for me' softens the line to the promise of amorous binding...relationship.
I can't get over the imagery you use here...the allusion of Heaven and Hell...blood pouring down over the heart (it's like some Aztec virginal sacrifice) ....sex, pain, emotional intensity. It wipes me out, listless.
By the way, I looked at some of your stuff on Booksie. Your poetry has matured a thousand times over! What have you been doing? This is really amazing compared to when you started!
Author
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OMG HUGS!!!!!!!
G...GGGGG xxxxx
Its such an awesome comment !!!
I really really am soooo happy to read it
I was waiting for you from the day I wrote this !!
I feel amazed that you could make me realise the details of what I wrote!
Thank you so muchh so much so very much xoxo
Hehe I cant stop giggling
I thought of making it intense
Sing and scream is that the pleasure to be so intense to make screams howling like the animals humans are and the moans ands shouts sound like melody a song..
Falling for the wrong person shall taint the Angel..yes enjambment thanks for letting me know Meg!
Um blood pouring over the heart I meant it as long as the heart beats..
The subject of the poem wants to give all her sorrow her pain her fear her anger lash it out on her love but at the right places to make her own pain bring joy and pleasure to her lover...
I hope you still like it from my point of view though yours is better !
Thank you so much for going through the booksie stuff G hehe I have been reading more and writing more
You cant imagine how happy I am that you liked it!!! Hugs again xoxo
I
Crystal clear, like a gemstone shine... Loving shines like a diamond mine!
With words you honor & you give... Dripping love, just like a sieve!
Ideas come, & ideas go... You've learned how to make them flow!
Wish I could, of your talent borrow... Pay you back with some tomorrow!!
Author
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i feel i lost it again... the rhyme the flow..
thank you so much spyguy
am really grateful
Just so you know... People like Gone Girl & I don't make comments on your work & tell you it is really good, & that we like it if it isn't really good, & we don't like it! You didn't lose it! You found it, & you shared it, & made it a special part of someone's day! Be proud of your accomplishments my little mermaid Princess!
Author
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where is G? where is she hoow come how her account is closed spyguy please do you know anything ?? where is she..I can you please tell me
been months trying to write something um I meant that...
but do you know about why gonegirl's account closed? when will she be back?? please can you please tell me spyguy?
Amy F. Turner