Dive right in

Dive right in Dive right in

Status: Finished

Genre: True Confessions

Details

Status: Finished

Genre: True Confessions

Summary

Cocaine. What it does to someone weak like myself.

Summary

Cocaine. What it does to someone weak like myself.

Content

Submitted: November 07, 2011

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Content

Submitted: November 07, 2011

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The only reason I did it was to clean my room. I'm almost twenty one years old and I still have a problem with keepig my room clean. Maybe it's because I'm never home, maybe I'm lazy, I still don't have an answer. At this very moment the roof of my mouth is numb, and my right nostril seems tio be nonexsistent. I have to be at work in an hour, and I still have to take a shower and get ready. I work for a well known chain pharmacy. They do random drug tests. I almost failed one a two months ago because I smoked pot with my mom for the first time in my life. It was the first time I'd smoked in over a year, and they decided to pop a random. I thought it was God telling me I need to straighten up. Why didn't I remember that two days ago when I did my first line of coke?

I got it from a girl I work with. She works at a bar as a second job, so she has to do something to stay awake most of the time. It's starting to drain down my throat now. I'm begining to enjoy that part. It tastes disgusting, but I know it only gets better after that. Anyway, the girl I got it from was talking about a long night at the bar and how she hadn't slept at all, and she had to go in after she left our drug store to go to the bar again. I asked if it was one of those five redbull kind of nights, and she replied, " No, it was more if a cocaine kind of night." i immeadiatley asked her if she could get me some. I didn't even think twice. I had never done coke before in my life, and now here I am. I gave her twenty bucks, and she came back later with a little bag of white powder I'd only seen once before in my life, when my brother had rolled up a twenty dollar bill and snorted a line in front of me when I wasn eleven. I feel horrible that I actually did this. I have a decent life. It's not great because I have to work full time, and I go to college full time, I feel like I work my ass of every day only to get nothing in return. I have a wonderful boyfriend, but sometimes I just get depressed about life being so redundant I take out my anger on him. He doesn't deserve that. He doesn't deserve to be lied to. IS it a lie now? Me doing coke behind his back, maybe I can lie to myself and say it's okay. I won't do it again. But I know I will. I know that when I go to work if that girl is there, I will ask her to get me more. That twenty dollars I spent two days is all up my nose. I need more. I hate myself. I'm ready to dive again, even though I know I will drown.


© Copyright 2018 Crystal Jade. All rights reserved.

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