What She Wanted

What She Wanted

Status: Finished

Genre: Romance

Details

Status: Finished

Genre: Romance

Content

Submitted: April 24, 2016

A A A | A A A

Content

Submitted: April 24, 2016

A A A

A A A


What do you want?" My mother asked me when I was a child.

"I want love."  I told her with my cries. Snuggled beneath her bosom. Held in her arms. I searched for understanding. I asked for forgiveness. I fought for equality, but all I got was rules.

"What do you want?" My friends asked me with secret smiles. I turned away from them, because I glimpsed the fangs within their mouths. I glimpsed the snakes and demons that were there. Even when they reached out to me I was scared to experience the world as they wanted it to be.

"I want to be loved." I told them and they laughed. I want to be a vet, a cop, a doctor. But nothing brought me what I asked for. Nothing made them like me. No one helped me along the way.

"You need a man." They told me.

"You need marriage." They directed.

"You need a smoke." They pushed.

"You need to fight." they gathered around, they slapped me down and left me there.

"This is the world." They told me. "This is how it should be."

"The only one who sees anything wrong here is me." I realized from my lowly spot among the mud. "I don't want this. I don't want you." I screamed. Even as I watched the demons be fore me devour all the light.

 " I don't want this world. I wont just embody what you envisioned for me. This is what I want." I told them and they faded from my life. Leaving behind these scars that you see.

"What do you want?" GOD asked me one day as I found myself alone. Tired and beaten. Woe upon woe.

I laughed at him. I turned away. Because with him Id found only rules as well. Rules of life and order. Rules that told me to hate my brothers. Rules that drove me to judge and to kill. When I thought of him I tasted blood. When I wanted him I felt the cold. When I cried to him I heard the wind. For with no one did I receive love and from every one I got only rules.

What do you want? I herd my soul ask my heart. And no answer came to my lips.

What could I ask of myself that I had not already received from others. To love myself was shallow. To hate myself was sad. I wanted to be free of what was expected. I didn't want to expect anything either.

I wanted me. I wanted my thoughts. I wanted the solace of this pad and this pen. I realized that there was only one place where I would find love. With out rules or limitations.

"I Want To Write..." I whispered to nothing. And so in the end that was what she did.


© Copyright 2017 CrimsonPetals . All rights reserved.

Add Your Comments:

Comments

avatar

Author
Reply

avatar

Author
Reply

avatar

Author
Reply

avatar

Author
Reply

avatar

Author
Reply

More Great Reading

Popular Tags