Romeo and Juliet
A lonely street light
Nagging crickets
The sleepy drone of cicada
Foggy condensed glass
The nervous excitement of forbidden love.
Denim muffling in the dark
The snap of lying elastic
Tongues pressing lips sucking
Friction of bodies
The wet slapping massage of lust.
Heavy moans and quick breaths
Wide eyes glinting in the dark
Flexed muscles and sweet release
Sticky fumbling. Sighs
Warm utopic tremors of life.
The afterglow. Slow breathing
Tiny kisses and a gentle touch
Exploring fingertips
Goosebumps on flesh
Afterimages and emotions linger.
Submitted: December 18, 2020
© Copyright 2021 Christopher Jay. All rights reserved.
Comments
Oh, man, do I want more of this! Yummy yum, yum! Leads to wonderful imaginings of young love at its peak of desperation. Best of all you were able to convey all of this so short of word, It is really tight, but flows well. Great job on this! :)
Fri, December 18th, 2020 6:39pm
Author
Reply
Thanks Amy. I'm not big into poetry but sometimes something slips out. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Mon, December 21st, 2020 5:43pmOther Content by Christopher Jay
Poem / Adult Romance
Short Story / General Erotica
DarkHorse93
Really enjoyed reading this piece of yours Christopher... nice job! I love how you've written it as a modern-day Romeo and Juliet, and the way you describe things... wow! 'A lonely street light, the nervous excitement of forbidden love.' There's something quite satisfying about reading that line, and I can't quite put my finger on it. Maybe because it's true! I feel we're drawn to things that we are forbidden to do, that rush and excitement of what could potentially happen and what awaits. 'Tongues pressing lips sucking, friction of bodies,' Oh the imagery here is fab, of these two lovers sharing such an intimate moment together, bodies pressed against one another, lips locked in loving ecstasy and that rush coursing through every inch of their being.
Fri, December 18th, 2020 6:05pmI think my favourite stanza is the number three, as there's a lot of describing going on that once again, conveys such wonderful imagery 'Heavy moans and quick breaths, flexed muscles and sweet release.' It shows just how intense this passion is between these two lovers, the pleasure they're both sharing and experiencing together. 'Sweet release'... absolutely! One line that I felt was quite powerful was 'warm utopic tremors of life.' You explained the act of love making between these two in such an eloquent way and with so few words!
I liked how the poem went from the intense, heavy breathing and flexed muscles, to a more gentle and slow moment between these two lovers after they had reached that sexual plateau and euphoric explosion. Breathing becomes a lot slower, the way they share small kisses and touch each other ever so gently, almost like a beautiful way of ending such a passionate experience with the one you love.
Damn what a fine read! Thank you for sharing this with us, keep it up!
Author
Reply
Wow Dark, thank you for the positive feedback! I really appreciate it. Above all, I'm glad that you enjoyed it, especially after reading some of your poetry.
Fri, December 18th, 2020 10:26amI'm not huge into poetry but sometimes I FEEL a little poetic or or come across a line that needs to have something done with it. I think in a lot of cases, especially for poems: less is more (although my fiction is more wordy than it needs to be). Thanks again.
Cheers