You push my legs apart,
And I feel a shiver run down my spine.
I ache your touch,
But I know this is wrong.
We aren’t meant to be together.
Together? No, we aren’t together.
Whatever the fuck we are.
But we’re stuck in this moment,
Which feels like eternity,
Our small piece of forever.
Because no matter where I go,
No matter who you’re with
(God knows you’re with a lot of girls),
We’ll still be together.
Since I’ll never be done with you,
Because you’ll never be done with me.
© Copyright 2021 Amethyst Cummings. All rights reserved.
I loved the way you worded this. True lovers are never apart even if there is physical distance between them.
XoxoX SWx
I think this relates to the fact that sometimes in life there are some really special "moments" and events that seemingly change your life. Without defining why they are together, this nailed it.
I wouldn't say your 'kinda bad' at writing poetry....not after reading this! Wow....I really really like it! It's free verse, of course. You have the hint of rhyme with 'together' and 'forever'...some nice repetition, and I really like this mirror imagery of the last two lines. Logistically, I love how you set that line "God knows you're with a lot of girls" off on its own. That's very effective and the pinnacle of the piece as far as "ah ha" moments go!
The poem explains a relationship that's hard to explain (perhaps even comprehend)....and it does so poetically. Sometimes poems can say more in a few lines than an entire chapter of a book. You've accomplished a lot with a few words, and it's beautiful...it has a little 'shock' surprise to it. Excellent!!
Thank you! If I'm being honest, this is the best poetry I've written because it's so real. I tried to add a little sense of humor because the protagonist can't explain their relationship.
I also definitely agree with you saying how so little words can say so much, poems are very, very powerful. And, I did free verse because God knows how I'd try to make it rhyme, haha. Thank you so much for reading!
Amie xoxo
Stuck in such a strange place is ironically where many of us stand until we make a break and finally get unstuck to the circumstances we've built for ourselves. Thought-provoking. Thanks for sharing, A. :)
I can say "wow, what a love!!"
"you and I will always be unfinished business" I read that somewhere and it hit home with something I was trippin on recently. this is real good work here. don't underestimate yourself, this was very heartfelt
Brings back old memories, but I'm married now, to someone else I love very much. But you can't help what you dream.! Very touching! Great job!
I liked this one too!
Storywriterx