Alice in Negative

Alice in Negative Alice in Negative

Status: Finished

Genre: Horror

Details

Status: Finished

Genre: Horror

Summary

Von Fay is tormented by Alice a sixteen year old girl. After telling her his stories of her in wonderland he becomes obbessed with her. His characters take a sinster turn and leave him terrified and sleepless.

Summary

Von Fay is tormented by Alice a sixteen year old girl. After telling her his stories of her in wonderland he becomes obbessed with her. His characters take a sinster turn and leave him terrified and sleepless.

Chapter1 (v.1) - Alice in Negative

Author Chapter Note

Von Fay is tormented by Alice a sixteen year old girl. After telling her his stories of her in wonderland he becomes obbessed with her. His characters take a sinster turn and leave him terrified and sleepless.

Chapter Content - ver.1

Submitted: June 06, 2012

Reads: 580

Comments: 11

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Chapter Content - ver.1

Submitted: June 06, 2012

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Alice in Negative

 

The phantom of Alice haunts me. I cannot sleep and I cannot eat. My Alice I once knew, the girl with the hair the colour alike to rays of sunshine. Her eyes the lightest blue I have ever seen. Her skin touched by the sun and darkened. The sun kissed skin I had once given my caresses. I sit at my desk drawing her image over and over. My despair grows and I feel I am driven down a spiral of depression. The depression grips my body and my gaunt body weak and ill. I don’t walk in my garden anymore. Not with the sun as bright as her hair. Veiled in the shade I dare venter out. I see my pride of my roses as pure and pink as her lips covered in black. The blackest ebony of her hair, the negative Alice. She isn’t the girl I fell in love with on that Summer’s day. I was her teacher and she my beautiful muse. The girl I see now darkening my corridor at night and the one who I feel. Her hands white as lilies and her cruel taunts leave me restless. I cannot think of negative Alice. Not with her dark coal eyes that seen into my soul and I know one day she will devour me. I cry out in despair as I hear her. The soft tap of her lace up boots with a slim heel on the wood. I run to my door and lock it. I am shaking and I go to my bed. Sitting upon it I drink from the gin bottle. I think of my sunny lovely Alice. I met her four years ago. I worked at Rook’s Boarding School. My job the art teacher. I lived with the other staff in the neat little cottages. The forest and lake being in perfect view from my bedroom window. Many late nights I spent with my easel and canvas in my window. My art and my writing was everything to me. I could lose myself in a world I made. There I was not the loner, the shy and refined man I was in my reality. I never married. No woman gave me interest and no woman gave me a look of want. My Alice gave me such looks and as the shy man I was felt terrified. I was scared of young children. I was scared of teenage girls. I was scared of my own shadow. My pathetic mannerisms gave me no joy. I avoided other teaches for all but one. My only friend, Blake Summers. He was my opposite. Perhaps he took pity on the loner Von Fay. He had a family, within in it the love who I couldn’t live fully without, Alice. His sixteen year old daughter who haunted me. Blake being the friendly man he was invited me to his home for dinner and to meet his family. I should of knew this would be the be all and end all of my sanity. My loner existence would be shattered as Alice spoke to me. I yearned to embraced her into my life. The light and sun of my life. She terrified me in a way negative Alice could never do. I was scared for my own desire.

I would sit at their noisy crowded table. I was sat in front of Alice. Her sisters older than her and younger than her found me uncomfortable. They knew me from my lessons and they kept their distance. The wife her name I daren’t say, disliked me. She found me to awkward and quiet. She knew me right. She made no mistake in what I was. Alice being difficult wasn’t hungry I wasn’t. She was restless as I at the table. I made comments on my poetry none of them liked. Alice pressed for more. I quietly, so quietly she prompted me a couple of times. I told her about the wonderland I wrote about. The mad hatter as my alter ego. The march hare my strange friend. The door mouse hiding under teacups a second of me. “Is there a girl in the story”? Alice pressed and I knew then and then always after so. There was indeed a girl in the story. Sitting at the table of the mad hatter Alice in my world was born. She was made as I saw her. “Yes there is a girl”. I muttered softy and her sister the little but tall girl spoke. She spoke loudly and I jumped. Alice giggled softly pouting her lips. The wetness of them glistened in the low lighting. “What is she called, call her Carol”! I made my body smaller feeling ill at ease. “She’s called Alice”. I whispered and Blake laughed, “sorry Carol”. She looked away from me and Alice grinned. “Tell me a story with me in please Mr Fay”. She said softy. I couldn’t it not in front of them. It felt like my secret and now it was Alice’s as well to share. “I cannot here”. I told looking down. I heard Blake’s voice over the noise of Alice’s disappointment. “Go and tell her in the garden then. Alice’s take Von out your too restless”. I didn’t move I was froze surely I couldn’t be alone with Alice. Not just us two I know I would be terrified to speak to her. I gasped as I felt her take my slender rather like a girls hand. “Come on Mr Fay, I’m dying to hear your stories”. I moved my long thin body out of the chair and let Alice take me to the garden.

My heart raced as Alice lead me to the bench overlooking the sun drenched flower garden. I felt the warmth of the rays on my face. Alice sat beside me. Her body nestling to mine. I looked away I was too shy for this. I wasn’t a people person I was scared. I dared to sneak a look of her. Alice smiled at me her golden hair framing her heart shaped face. “Tell me a story”. I felt her hand on my thigh and the other on the top of my arm. I swallowed and she looked eagerly at my thin plain face. “There was once a girl named Alice. She was sat in her garden”. “Did she look like me”? Alice pressed tweaking my lank dark hair. “Yes very much so. She finished her book she was reading, restless she spotted a white rabbit. She saw the rabbit had on a waistcoat and held a watch”. “A watch how odd”! Alice exclaimed. I smiled in a coy way pleased as she wanted to speak with me and hear my words. As a man who nobody really cares for she was a brilliant zealous light to me. “Yes a pocket watch and she heard him repeating, I’m late! I’m late. She ran to the rabbit calling for him to wait. The white rabbit went down the rabbit hole and Alice curiously sat down looking into the dark rabbit hole. She started to crawl into the hole. At the end she fell, she didn’t fall but she was floating! Tables, chairs and various over objects floated around her and she cry in shock and excitement as she was carefully put on the white and black checked floor”. I stopped as Alice started to stroke the material of my black suit jacket. I froze but I was feeling at ease with her. She looked at me, giving me a gentle lazy smile. “I want to hear more”. She whispered, I felt as felt in only in my fantasy’s during the night and I lay in my bed. A disturbingly alluring stir caused me to shiver. I felt her pretty bony fingers clutch my arm. “Mr Fay is there something wrong”? Yes everything. I shook my head and she laughed as pleasant as the sun on my face. “I love stories”. “Yes I found such contentment in them and my drawings”. “I adore photography”. “I have a camera but I do not take many photos. Mostly of nature. I don’t find them so enjoyable”. “Wait here! Don’t move”. Alice said and I nodded. I would wait forever for Alice. I knew as I watched her run to the house I was desperately and hopelessly in love. 

Alice came back a camera. As she set it up I watched her. She made noises of annoyance and smiled standing behind the sheet. Before I could hid myself she pushed down on the button. Stunned by the flash I stayed still as a rabbit in the headlights. I was stunned by not only the flash but my Alice. I do not like photos. I look gaunt and miserable in photos. I looked distant and far away in my photos there will be no change. “I will look terrible”. I mutter and Alice kissed my cheek. “You will look as you always do silly”! I shy away and Alice pointed to the camera. “Take my photo”. I with shaking hands looked at her with a trance of my nervous disposition. Alice stood in front of me. Her lips pursed and her eyes alive. It was perfect as any photo of her was. I take the photo. How curiously different I felt hidden behind a lens and how I felt I could freely watch her. “The wall might be a good place maybe to lean against with the ivy”. I said and Alice smiled. “Great idea”. I moved closer as I dared to move my lank body to do so. Alice leant the ivy framing her and one of the pink flowers had tumbled into her hair. I reached out my hand but stopped anxious she would scream at my touch. I clicked the button wanting to watch her longer. She looked up. “Do you like it, did I look nice in my photo? I will develop them tonight”. I nodded my fingers cutting in my skin. I wanted to take more. I wanted to let my desire rule my actions. Alice bid me goodbye as her mother called her in. I looked at my own pocket watch. It was close to dusk. My head shot up as Blake came out. “Alice didn’t pestered you did she”? Blake questioned and handed me a cigarette. “No she’s lovely”. I stopped my sentence I couldn’t betray anymore of what I thought of her. “Always loved fairy tales and that. Doesn’t like it here in the country. We’ll be moving back to the city soon anyway”. My hearts stopped. She couldn’t leave. I had knew Blake’s job here was only for two months. I hated myself for meeting Alice. Blake looked at me. “You don’t talk much”. I swallowed I was a loner at heart and direct company made me fearful. “I’m sorry to hear that”. I mumbled. “Better for us. This job was never to be permanent. The money was good and I have confided in my money issues with you”. Why he had I never knew. I never met anyone or spoke to anyone to betray him. Perhaps the reason why. “Yes, yes you have”. “Expensive having a family”. I made a noise of agreement. Blake laughed cheerfully. “Von I feel you know all about me I know nothing of you”. “There isn’t much to tell”. Blake gave me a sorry look. I peered at him. He was large man but friendly look even so I didn’t seem so intimidated with him. “You need to get out, start courting”. “Women don’t like me”. Blake feel silent. He knew this as I did well. “You know, I know some men who meet up perhaps that is more you”. I blushed, “I never wanted them things”. “Oh am sorry my friend but you leave us in doubt. I asked my wife if she knew any single women for you”. “I make your wife and daughters uncomfortable”. Blake shifted awkwardly. “Well it’s your quietness, my wife often asks if you are ill”! I don’t reply feeling sick. They was leaving and the moment with Alice was gone forever. The kiss she gave me I could feel on my skin still.

I light my candles on my desk and pull out a fresh piece of paper and settled my watercolour box next to the paper. I don’t need to pause and think of Alice and recall her features. I draw her and by the time the candles where stubs I had finished. The cotton white dress she wore and the pale pink petticoat that peeped from the end of her dress. I stroked her face in the drawing. I mused of her long after I left my desk and gone to bed. I felt tormented as I could see her in my mind. I tossed and turned all night sleep coming to me long after. When I woke I lay in my bed there wasn’t long left to see her. She was being taken away just after one afternoon together. I thought of the first girl I had lusted after. We was both fourteen. I had been following her for weeks. She lived close by us. My feelings were not returned and her father went to my mother to complain angrily about my strange behaviour. My mother gave me the belt for that. I still have the scars on my back. She so angry and disappointed with me sent me to boarding school. The girls there I couldn’t allow myself to be near them. I was recluse than spending long periods of time studying and in the library. I would devour literature, write short poems and escape into my own world. I was so plain I could blend into the background and happy to do so. I went to see mother every time I was allowed to. She was quiet with me not forgiving me. I didn’t touch the girl but I had followed her which I could not be forgiven for. I would never of dared touch her. She scared me to the point I followed her to see her I could never have gone to her and spoken to her. With my timid behaviour I never had a lover. I couldn’t go to meet one. My wary nature I was terrified of rejection. After the trouble with following Francis I didn’t attempt it again. I slipped my hand down my skinny stomach. My knees bending. My fear had resulted in I was a twenty six year old man who had never touched a women. I had pleasured myself safe in knowing it was my secret. In school I had stolen a pair of drawers from the laundry room and sunk out into the woods nearby. I had slipped my hand into the slit in the front of them stroking the ivory cotton. I had traced the lace and in the end held them to my face while pulling myself. It had been my first erotic pleasure. I had felt depraved for doing it but I let me do the same thing for a few more times and I burnt them. I caressed my hand over myself. I stiffed and I clutched myself. My thought of Alice. The smell of her and the way her soft hair had brushed on my shallow cheek. I moaned softly feeling my body shake as my pleasure became more intense. I reached to the bedside table and picked up my tissue. I wiped myself and tossed the tissue in the bin. I lay closing my eyes. It felt how I had done in the garden with Alice when she had touched me. It meant more to me than she would ever do.

I sipped my tea feeing tragic as I saw Alice sat her garden on the grass with her sister. I had gone in hope the ache in my body would leave. I dressed in my formal and plain, white shirt, black waistcoat and dress coat with ordinary shoes. I polished them every day like I shaved without fail. In a rush I ran back to the window. Hopelessly as I was with her. They laughed together and made daisy chains. I had a discreet and good view of her from my living room. A idea of madness and to ease my obsession with her from losing me my sanity come to me. The camera. It was close by in my bedroom. I dropped the tea cup in a frenzy and ran to my bedroom. I got the camera and I doubt I had ever been so fast and eager to set it up before. I put the black veil over my head and I slipped underneath to see her through the voyeur lens. The darkness calming me and I thought of myself as the mad hatter. Controlled by his madness and unable to put away. I heard the loud grandfather clock close by. My time ticking away. Tick tock, the seconds passing and I have clicked to take the photo. I with shaking hands smoothed the tip of my finger over the button. Alice looked up as if she sensed me. She lay back her hands behind her back. I watched her dress and petticoat slide upwards showing her bare legs. Click, the photo was taken. I took more, a dozen as the time pasted. Alice got up and tossed her daisy chain to the floor. I moved from the veil where I wanted to keep my yearnings and fantasy’s locked away. If I was my alter ego I would stop time as he did at six o’clock and I would freeze it with Alice in the sun with her legs showing. Her stockings at her ankles and her little doll like shoes pointed. I shivers the demons of my alter ego haunted me. Later on as Alice and I shared together our secrets I felt like the hatter being sentenced to a beheading. The Red Queen to take my head and the White Queen to see my crime had been paid for. I fear Alice in negative the Red Queen is her alter ego. I will sing my way to murder more time and then she will come for me.

I rose from my nap after leaving my photographs of Alice to develop. I had written about the twins. When I write them they are simply curiously fat men under the names tweedledum and tweedledee they are the nursery rhyme of two brothers go on to enact. They agree to have a battle, but never one had. When they see a monstrous black crow swooping down, they take to their heels. They meet Alice and they are simply amusing charterers who slightly vex her. In my dreams and when Alice in negative appears they are not two amusing fat men anymore they are women mutilated. There small white dress splattered in blood and their faces cut. My delightful Cheshire cat does not speak it sits on my book shelf grinning at me viciously. I shaking went to my door after hearing Blake calling me. He looks at me in concern. “Von are you alright”? I nod feeling sweat on my back. “Alice has persuaded me to call on you. She asks to hear more of your stories. She was all set for coming over herself after lunch. I told her it wasn’t proper and not to disturb you”. I am already disturbed and haunted by her. It is too late. The white rabbit did warn me, I’m going to be late, too late to stop. “She can come”. I said and Blake smiled and called Alice. She peered from the iron black fencing and grinned. My angel and negative Alice my nightmare. She skipped up the path and I moved way to let her in. I felt nervous she was in my home. The object of my erotic yearn. “Just send her home if she pesters you”. I nod and silently slow at pace close the door. My home I am proud of. I show it to no one. It is clean and tidy. My money having being spent on it. I paused shy of seeing the girl I heard calling me from my sitting room. My drawings of her where there. I felt sick and backed off. She would off seem them now. She would know of me. I gasped as I saw the Cheshire cat in the corner of the wall staring at me. I shook in fear as its eyes popped out. Alice came out and looked at me. “Mr Fay what’s wrong”? I didn’t reply and the eyes and the cunning cat was gone. Alice took my arm and I looked at her. “My tears will make a pool like the story I have another of you Alice you meet a mouse in the pool of tears. You are tired of swimming and you ask the mouse for a way out. The mouse just winks”. Alice giggles, “I like mice but a pool of tears? I will make one when I cannot hear any more of your stories”! She links my arm and we go to my sitting room. The papers! They have moved. Alice went to them. “I adore these Mr Fay please will you do more”? “I have more and would you call me by Von please. I would like that better”. I never felt I would be so direct with Alice but she was like me I was sure. Alice smiled softly. “Alright Von and I have the photos we took the other day”. She pulled them out of her pocket and sat next to me the photos on display. “Perfect”. I muttered staring at hers. She posing’s almost lazy but beautifully so. Her head slight bent looking at me. Her eyes staring to me. Her body relaxed. “You really like them then”. Alice said she had heard me. I flinched and she took my hand. “Your hands are really smooth”. I looked at her own they was small and the nails bitten down. “You’re scared of being touched aren’t you”? She commented I looked away her gaze too intense. “Yes”. I whispered, never would I be brave enough to speak to an adult the truth. Or anyone who wasn’t Alice. I glanced at the mirror framed in ebony. I wince as I see the twin women staring at me there distorted faces pressed against the looking glass. Alice gave me a curious look. “Von”? I grip her hands tight and see the blurred image of negative Alice behind her. I cry out in fear backing off. Alice looked behind her and I see the flash of blackness go over her eyes, changing the blue to black. “Not Alice not my make of her in ruin”. I whisper under my breath. I lay back and Alice moves to me. “Von it’s ok”. She said gently and traces my jaw with her fingers. I close my eyes willing my heart to slow to normal. I feel her hands stroking my hair and her body a presence to me. “Can I make it better”? Her hot breath on my cheek sends me close to a turmoil. I opened my eye and slowly my lank body to hers. I shaking my hands tremble to the buttons on her dress. Alice motionless and silent. I had to see more I would drive myself mad if I didn’t. My sleepless nights because of her. “I want to take photos of you, more of you”. Alice took my hands away from her. I anxious watch her undo her buttons. My nervousness couldn’t of revealed nothing. “Von does Alice in the story like the mouse”? She asked, “maybe the mouse has a sad tale the mouse is condemned to death”. Alice tutted moving her dress away. “Poor little mouse”. I didn’t move as she unlatched her corset. “Von the camera”. She said crossing her arms over her chest. The outline of her breasts made a stir in me. I got the camera Alice in her petticoat stood by the desk. I hide behind the veil watching her. Looking through the voyeur I see her and her small perk breasts. I click many times on the button but my mind is on her. I nearly fall as she took of the remaining garments. My instant wanted her, to touch her. The pink nipples hard and the curve of her waist desirable. Alice stood looking at my through her hair. Her body in my view. I took more photographs feeling sweat on my skin and the erotic longing in me intense. I moved away from the camera. Alice watched me. She stood confidence I think. Her hands by her side and her gaze slightly down. I blushed and I couldn’t look at her anymore or look her in the eye. I turned away looking at my wall.

I swallowed and I felt Alice close to me. “Von shall I leave”? I shook my head. I felt I would scream terribly if she did. “Look at me”. I heard negative Alice. Her voice. I shivered and Alice took my hand and I peered at her. I cried my nervousness eating at me. “Tell me more of our story”. I nodded staggering to the soft. Alice put her thin chemise over her. Seeing the outline of her nipples made me blush. “When Alice, she erm, went down the rabbit hole”. I stammered out and Alice moved my body so I had my back to her. I relaxed a little, I would say I would more if she wasn’t holding, feeling my body. “Von relax”. She said soothingly. “Alice upon landing on the floor saw a door, it was very small. Far too small for her to go through. A table appears, normal size. On it is a small cake, a nice looking cake with the words on it Eat Me. Next to the cake is a bottle with clear liquid in it the label says Drink Me. She tries out both but they keep making her too tall or not small enough”. I heard Alice chuckle and her hands slide around my stomach. I felt her head rest on my back. I froze up but carried on speaking. I didn’t want her to be vexed by my shy and timid nature. “She takes large bit out of the cake and she cries out in shock as she is shrunk tiny. She runs to the door putting some of the cake in her pocket”. As she felt my chest slowly and so lax I had barely felt her touch. I started to stammer my words and I stopped. Alice’s touch pressed and I moaned softly. The buttons of my waistcoat no longer buttoned. She stopped and I stayed still. It was painful my ache for her. It disturbed me intolerably. I forced myself to turn to her. Alice bit her lip the fold of her chemise hung down showing the tip of her breast. I bent to her feet. Her bony monkey like feet. They look pure white and pretty. I kissed them, my bottom lip stroking up. My hands bringing her foot higher and my tongue advancing to her pretty ankle. “Von touch me. Bite me, eat me, drink me”. Negative Alice muttered in my ear. I trembled biting her leg. Alice laughed in joy and I glanced at her. I felt guilty of biting her. Negative Alice wanted that not my angel Alice. I kissed where I sank my teeth in and felt the material of her chemise on my face. Alice brushed her hand over my hair, my face. The stirring in my loins became deeper and my body felt hot. Alice lifted my face upwards and smiled. I moved closer my breath quickening. I was close to tears and my nerves awfully on edge as I lay over Alice. She touched my lips with hers. Alice embraced me as I slowly moved my lips, I mimicked as she did. I held tight. Frightened I would upset her and I would lose her. I moved my hand awkwardly under her chemise. My hand froze as I felt smooth hair and her hot thighs. Alice kissed me deeper and I broke away. “I can’t”. I mumbled, Alice looked down. “I thought you was just shy before”. “I am, really I don’t want to upset you, I am terribly shy it troubles me like you do. I have never touched a women intimately”. Alice’s head shot up. “You haven’t”? I shook my head in shame. “I am scared”. “I like you Von. You are the most interesting man I have ever met”. “I love you Alice, I have since we talked in the garden”. I whispered and she kissed my cheek. “Touch me Von”. I did as she asked and moved my hand on her breasts. I looked away from her face as I did it. I groaned as I felt the beautiful soft, firm impression of them. I rubbed my fingers over her nipples. I groaned more hearing I was giving her pleasure.

Negative Alice screamed at me she sat bare close to me. “Fuck me”! She shouted and I cried in fear as the real Alice as below me. I ignored negative Alice as she shouted more coarse words at me. I stroked Alice’s face I lay over her beautiful body shaking. I looked at her nakedness. My own making me shy. She touched mine gently. “Von”. She whispered as I kissed her throat. I felt her heart beat as my hand placed on her chest. My organ stiff and I felt the brush of her hair below. I moaned as her legs slide down my back. My Alice had asked to see my  room I lead her naked to my room. She had flicked through my writings as I sat on my bed. She had taken my refined nature mildly. She had undressed me as I was silent. I had held her tight to me. I swallowed my nerves aching and longing as I casting my eyes down. Her legs shifted and I dared to sample a feel of her. Negative Alice’s rough hands pulled at my shoulder and I groaned loud as I felt her cold body rubbing against me. “Leave me alone please”. I sobbed tears falling down my face. My emotions running high and my heart in panic. Alice sat up and she touched my face and wiped at my tears. “Von it’s me Alice there is no need to cry”. She was everything I needed, beautiful, warm and loving. Alice held me soothing as I sobbed petrified negative Alice would break me. Alice let go of me and I lay curled up. I hear the soft taps on the floor from her bare feet. I felt negative Alice lay beside me. I stared at her face. She made me panic. Her raven hair straight and glossy. Her dark eyes rimmed with black and purple. Her waxy skin smooth looking. “She’s leaving soon Von all you have is me”. I heard the laughing of the twins close by. I heard a door slam Alice had left and I cried out to her. Negative Alice pushed me down. Something in me snapped. I grabbed Negative Alice roughly and throw on the bed. She laughing mocked me more. I pulled open her legs and touched her. She moaned in delight at me. I pushed my fingers in her feeling the wetness of her own yearning. I slipped in another two fingers hearing her pain and joy of what I was doing. With my other hand I with care took hold of her perk breasts. I gasped feeling her juices. I felt her nipple white as her breasts. It hardened and I removed my digits from her. I licked at my fingers as negative Alice giggled as she took hold of my organ. I tasted her as she pleasured me. Her grip tight on me and I pulled at her hair. I felt close to release as I felt the tip of her tongue on me. “Fuck me Von, you are not too scared are you? You’ve don’t like me around do you”? I pushed her back and turned her petite body over I kissed her hair and my fingers pulled at it, I gasped in lust, my body feeling hot. I smoothed my hand down her back and stroked the curve of her bum. On her hands and knees I put my organ into her. She was virgin negative Alice. I thrust further the sheer tightness on me. I felt myself ripping forward and Alice screamed. I advanced more and moved my hips faster. “More Von”. She cried and I listened to her groans that followed as I gripped her hips thrusting faster. My body sweating, I felt her come rushing down on to me. I moaned as I felt myself spend. I dropped down next to her. Negative Alice grinned as she looked at me. I blinked and saw Alice my lovely Alice sobbing. I sat shaking I put my hand over my mouth as I saw deep scratch marks on her breasts and neck. Blood dripped down her legs. “No it wasn’t you”. I wept and Alice slowly sat up. “I hate you Von I begged you to stop so many times, why wouldn’t you listen to me”?  “It wasn’t you it was negative Alice. I wanted to hurt her not you”. Alice gingerly got off the bed. She picked up her clothes looking at me in loathing. I stunned watched her slam my bedroom and I heard her sobs. “Tricked you”! Negative Alice muttered in my ear. I screamed at her. Negative Alice pulled at my hair and I felt her sit on top of me. I pushed at her to leave me be. I shouted in fear as the twins moved to me. In their hands a thick crude bread knife. Their mouth sliced to their ears and they grinned so wide. The cool blade pressed against my cheek. I whimpered and negative Alice smiled and lent down to lick my throat.

I screamed as I woke suddenly. I was shaking violently. I looked round wiped the sweat off my brow. I was alone, naked on my bed. I shouted in fear as I saw blood on my white sheets. Guilt hit me strong, Alice’s blood. What had I done to her? I had hurt her and I believed her to be the mocking, taunting and dark negative Alice. I moved myself up and picked up my pocket watch. It was three in the morning. I went back to my stained bed to sleep. I couldn’t sleep my mind insomnia to Alice. I ripped the sheets off the bed when I had dressed. I looked at the deep scratch marks on the sheets. The twins had done it with their knives I was sure of it. I took the sheets to the fireplace and started to rip off strips of them. I lit a fire and started to burn the sheet. Mesmerised by the flames I sat on the floor watching the evidence of my crime burnt to ash. My tears hot on my cheek and my mind far from easy. She would of ran to her mother and father. Told them about my crime and now I waited for them to come. To brand me a pervert. The police! They would arrest me. I shivered I was scared and I wished I had stayed the loner and never loved my Alice. No I don’t I wanted to love she was light of my life. The light in my darkness. Throwing more of the tainted sheet on the fire I watched it. I went to collect the photos that had developed. My mouth felt dry as I longingly held them. I put them under the rug. I had taken a photograph of her, I had touched her. The thought of her made me tremble. How I had knowing it was my Alice, felt her lips below and wet texture. The shadow of her hair and the soft impression of it on the my digits. Her skin the beautiful tanned skin of her my angel. She was my everything and my downfall into madness. The next morning I quit my job and packed up my belongings. I put the items on the coach and went back inside to fetch my jacket I had left on the old sofa I was leaving. I was leaving most of my belongings. I had the most important things packed. I had to leave in a hurry. I was scared and I knew I couldn’t see the angel of my nightmare again. I had corrupted her as she had done with me. “Von I’ve just heard you’ve quit”. Blake called walking in. I froze holding my jacket. I looked up and Blake glanced out at the coach ready for me to escape in. “Yes, yes I feel it is time to leave”. I muttered and Blake frowned. “What’s brought this on”? “I have been planning to for some time”. “Kept that quiet”! I put on my jacket daring to look him in the face. I was brave knowing what I had done. “Well your always so quiet. Alice will be disappointed she and Carol have been baking cakes, eat me on them, something to do with your story she said. She was going to bring them over”. The room spun and  Blake rushed to me before I felt. “Are you alright I don’t think you should go if you are ill”. “No I’m perfectly fine”. Blake let go of me but didn’t look convinced. “Please I must be leaving now”. “At least say goodbye to Alice, she will be sorry to see you leave. All we have heard from her is your magical stories and how she adores them”. I gave a nod but when Blake had left I wrote down my new address. I left it on the table. I would go home to mother. I rushed out in a frenzy, panicking I would be caught. I got in the coach and as we drove off I heard my Alice’s urgent voice call my name.  

I’m scared of what will come as my sleepless nights plague me. Mother died in her sleep a year ago. Now I live alone in the dark isolated mansion in London. I never returned to teaching. I wrote the good version of my story of Alice. It gained success. It gave me no joy because the reality was much more darker. My Alice was gone, I didn’t have the photographs. All I had was my drawings of her. I cried out as I heard negative Alice’s laughing and the calling of my name. “Leave me alone”! I confided in mother of my nightmares. She called the doctor. He thinks I am mad. I am but I know they are real. The Cheshire cat, the twins and negative Alice. “Please not tonight”. I stammered leaning against my wall. Negative Alice is looking at me. She turns into my bedroom. I ran after her. I swallowed nervous as she lays on my bed naked. She grins wickedly at me and opens her legs. I go to her and fall on my knees. I see her all of her. I look down as she finds herself. This was the hell I was in. Negative Alice dragging me into my dark sexual fantasies. When I wake I am bruised, I have cuts on my body. I tied her to the bed once and she screamed hating me keeping her there. In the end I couldn’t allow myself to not touch her. I have sex with her, I have been for years then the twins. They don’t come together anymore. I was gripped by my nightmares and my sexual desire. I start to pull at myself ashamed but aroused as negative Alice rubs her own clit. Alice tells me she will never leave me. I know she won’t. I groan as I spend I wipe myself with a tissue. Alice climbs down from the bed. “No more, go away”. I said and Alice laughs grabbing my hand and placing it in-between her legs. She rocks gently and I add to the rhythm. I feel her hot sticky come dripping down my fingers. I fall back in shock as I see the Cheshire cat it’s teeth now pointy and stained in blood. It sat on my bed. I crawled away sobbing and Alice lunged for me. She landed on me. “Von”! She shouted and I turned over. Negative Alice went to my neck and I moan as she started to bite. I pull at her dark hair and she screams terribly and starts to choke me. I do not move and wait for her to end me. I gasp for breath and negative Alice stops and moves off me. I sit up and hear my name. The soft sunny voice of the real Alice. “Von? Are you there”? “Up here”. I croak out and negative Alice stands with the twins angry. I sit up and I see her my Alice running up the stairs her golden hair around her face. Four years of my despair and here she was. Alice stopped and looked at me. She was nineteen now. She had come back to wonderland. “You look so ill”. She says rushing to my side. “I can’t sleep, I can’t eat”. I weep and Alice kissing my forehead. “Since you left I wanted to find you. I’m married now and we have moved back to the city”. I was shaking and she held me. “Von I heard terrible things about you”. “Of me”? “Yes, you’ve gone mad and you don’t come outside anymore. I was worried”. “Negative Alive won’t leave, the twins won’t leave”! I say frantic. Alice shook her head and I saw the twins edge closer to her. I pulled her tight to me. “There here their coming”! “Von you need to get some sleep”. I nod and Alice takes me to my bed. I lie down and hold my hand out to her. Alice sits beside me. I feel the gabs of the knives on my skin. I heard the twins. I wake up startled and I am alone. “Alice don’t go, Alice where are you”! I said petrified, it is still dark. I haven’t slept long. Negative Alice crawls to me from the bottom of the bed. “She was never here”. She whispers, “she was I spoke to her”! “Alice is dead. She took her own life. You read it in the paper”. I put my hands over my face. It was true it was I am sure of it. Negative Alice pushes an old aged paper in my hands as I draw them away from my face. I stared at it. Alice Summers had jumped from the broken down castle they day after I had left her. “I’ve seen her”. I wept, all these years I had been thinking of her alive. I lay the paper back down and everything changed. I was in a strange room. The reinforced door and the blankness of my room. Newspaper clippings covered my walls with drawings. I looked at the drawing they was of my Alice, negative Alice and all my characters dark and normal. I swallowed the paper in front of me with Alice’s face and the story of her taking her life. I tossed it aside screaming. A newspaper clipping caught my eye. I was in the photo I looked closer. Art teacher convicted of indecent photos found in home. “No I went to mothers”. I whispered and looked at the one next to it. My photo of me again. Insane art teacher committed to asylum. I shouted in shock and fell on my single metal bed. I turned to negative Alice. “Where am I”? She laughed, “the photos of Alice where found and you was locked up! None of us is real”.

 

The End


© Copyright 2018 Amanda Siddall. All rights reserved.

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