Easy Sleazy

Jack was in his office attending a meeting of suits that was being run by an outside company. His job consisted of using a computer high up in an office block and in an open plan and modern office that looked down over the town below. The meeting was to help them with their plans for their office.

Really, it was just as usual. They were all sitting round in the usual chairs around a table. Jack had been on dozens of these things in his career in office work.

After Jack got through that day, he went home and he did mention the meeting for some reason to his housemate, Trudy, that he lived with and said that he was beginning to find work hard and had felt like saying something to the others at the meeting.

Trudy had something to say to him.

"Now, I've been asking for some advice. This is about you. You need a bit of help to do your work. That's all! It's nonsense that at work you must write the report, proofread and edit it and deliver it all by yourself. Also, at home with the writing you post online you're doing, you could really do with an assistant as well. Why don't you ask your employer at work to give you an assistant...?"

"But I couldn't ask for an assistant at home for my employer. I couldn't, couldn't I? Yet, they might give me a secretary or something for my work day."

"I don't see why you haven't done that already. Still, you need to ask for them to give you one here for your writing that you do online and that they could also provide."

"My work is nothing to do with the work I post online here...," Jack remonstrated with the Trudy angrily.

Now it was Trudy's turn to get angry.

"How dare you insult me like that? Of course, you can ask them. It's nonsense what you're saying that they wouldn't help you at home as well...."

Then, really, they were both so on edge and so angry they sat in silence for a while lest they do anything rash they would regret. And really after quite some time as well, Trudy spoke more conciliatory and just touched Jack's hand lightly. But then, she withdrew it seeing he was still fuming and almost out of his head.

"All of this is when I've mentioned it beforehand. I'm not some ogre trying to hurt you and get at you when you're tired and you just come in to make you do things you already doing or that you don't really need to do. Now, I've said that and let's now as well get on with it. Now, I found someone. The person I've been consulting says you should do it as well...."

When he didn't answer but was still fuming it seemed, she said, "She says that you should do what she is suggesting I mean that is what I meant."

"I don't think my employer will give me one. That's all I'm saying! And it is only because I work with an employer and I know that no employer today will give somebody a secretary when they are low grade employees and office workers themselves who should be doing their jobs themselves."

"You are not a low-grade employee! Really you aren't as you have got qualifications that took you a year or two to get. Now, you're being silly again."

He tried to remonstrate again.

But all she would say was, "That's nonsense!"

Jack looked glum-faced. Then, Trudy continued.

"And I've put an advert in the newspaper for you to get an assistant to help you in the spare room with your writing. This is if you say your employer will not do the advert for you themselves and you must do it yourself. And this is if that is what you were saying, I don't really know. Now, I don't look so glum. I have done the work for you."

Jack managed a smile and decided to play along.

"But I'm not sure there's enough space for us both to work in the spare room."

"She does the work! You won't be working at the same time. That is except to do a bit of tidying up afterwards. And I'm sure she'll be very pretty around here."

Jack smiled a wistful smile that made him look younger.

"Now, just say 'thank you'."

Jack smiled again but more of his average smile this time.

In another home to theirs, a 25-year old mousy-haired woman looked depressed at the classified ads in the newspaper.

"It says that for this advert you have to have these qualifications. But I don't have them! And none of them can I do either in the whole newspaper."

"Think outside the box!"

That's what her friend said who'd come around. They were both reading the newspapers that were on the coffee table in the small apartment they shared. It had a bare central electric light that shone on an altogether dingy apartment. As well, their apartment had sloping ceilings some of which had cigarette burns on them. Still, the furniture was not so bad. Possibly, the cigarette burns were old. A small window looked down onto a minor road below.

"How do you mean, 'I should think outside the box'?"

"Really, you don't need all these qualifications they ask people for. You can just use your imagination! And think about how you might already be qualified instead. Lots of people could do these jobs. You don't just need qualifications as they say. For example, in this job, you just have to say that you've used a computer before. And you don't have to say that you have computer qualifications. It asks for a 21-year old, but you can still apply if you're 25."

"That's a fairly specific qualification they are asking for in that job. And I don't think I can do what they're saying without it. But I don't see why they need a 21-year old and not a 25-year old for this other job. That's a job asking for a personal assistant to an author. I think I'll give it a ring."

"You do that Annabelle"

Trudy answered the phone to Annabelle And she said that Annabelle could come around and have a look at the office that she would be working in. The office was in a domestic house. Also, she gave her the details about Jack as an author.

Jack was just coming back from the shops when he had a pleasant surprise. An attractive 25-year old woman came up and asked him if he had a light for her cigarette. In fact, Jack didn't smoke and so didn't have one. But then, the woman found a lighter in her handbag. Really, Jack felt intrigued. And he asked her into a local bar to have a drink.

In the bar, Jack talked about a TV show that was on last night. It was about the only thing he had seen all week. Really, it was when he had been on his computer. This was both at work and at home he used a computer. After that, Jack talked about how much he liked a drink and how good it made him feel. Then, he mentioned that he was an author. And he told her about his friend Trudy.

"That's very touching. I think she's nice myself."

"But how would you know what she was a like! You don't know her. And you can't know her."

Jack was unaware of how angry he sounded.

"Perhaps, I don't know her as well as you. You're right."

"The funny thing," Jack said continuing, "is that at the work that I do also they have a strict policy of no sex and no relationships between staff members. But then, I was hoping if it was my own secretary that something could happen. Yet, you hear as well that it never really does happen. And it would be most unprofessional if it did."

"I don't know if it really would be. I might like it. That is if I got the job with you."

"But you won't get the job. You just came up to me in the street and asked for a light for your cigarette. We need someone professional to do this job. I have so many qualifications to do office work and she will need excellent qualifications as well I have decided already."

"Haven't you heard the saying that you should 'think outside the box'. And if I had the most gorgeous girl applying for the job you have on offer like I know you do have the most gorgeous girl, then I wouldn't worry about her being laid in your spare bedroom with your computer in it. I've seen so many lonely people like you that just want to get laid. Believe me, I have."

Jack laughed uproariously. This was that she was saying she was one of the lonely people that wanted to get laid herself. At least, he assumed that she was making a joke about it. And he was supposed to get the play on words that she was using for its humorous value. This was when she had said 'people' and not just 'men'.

"I've still to do some interviews for this job that I have gotten on offer. But if you want to come in quickly before I see some of the applicants I will be seeing today, we can get laid both of us. That would be good!"

"Before I say anything more," she said furiously "what was that laughter you did just then."

"It was at your joke. It was a good play on words. You said 'people' rather than 'men'. That implies you're one of these desperately lonely people that want to get laid. Really, it was very funny you said that."

Annabelle took a last gulp of her drink and then put it down now angry.

"You can finish your drink after I've left here. I don't care."

Something deep stirred within Jack. He knew somehow that she was right. And he had made some mistake. The fish had gotten out of the net.

"And you can stick your job as well."

Now, that was just confusing! He didn't remember offering her it. As far as he knew, she wanted to be his girlfriend. Still, he really could drink his drink now she had gone. And he was left alone morose in the bar. He drank down to the bottom of the glass and then left.

The End