Got A Hold On Me

Got A Hold On Me

Status: In Progress

Genre: Romance


Status: In Progress

Genre: Romance


Ezekiel has a dark past and promised his best friend he wouldn't get involved with his sister. Then he met her and everything changed. ::AN:: The beginning of this book starts in 2010. Won't necessarily make a big difference, but some things might make some more sense. Also if anyone is interested in the music that moves me while I write here is a link for an Apple Music playlist:


Ezekiel has a dark past and promised his best friend he wouldn't get involved with his sister. Then he met her and everything changed.
::AN:: The beginning of this book starts in 2010. Won't necessarily make a big difference, but some things might make some more sense.

Also if anyone is interested in the music that moves me while I write here is a link for an Apple Music playlist:

Chapter54 (v.1) - I Want You To Want Me

Author Chapter Note

We're getting close to the end. Only a few more chapters left and I'm writing the last one (at least I think it's the last one) now.

Chapter Content - ver.1

Submitted: September 15, 2020

Reads: 52

Comments: 2

A A A | A A A

Chapter Content - ver.1

Submitted: September 15, 2020




It’s been months.  Six months.  Six long, painful months.  I’ve never felt such a distance between Amelia and myself, not even when an ocean separated us.  

Amelia cleans the house, cooks dinner, makes sure the babies are fed, changed, and taken care of, but as soon as I get home she locks herself in our bedroom.  She doesn’t speak to me or touch me.  She doesn’t even talk to Aria anymore.

Aria keeps telling me to give Amelia time, that she’ll come around.  In reality, I fear she’s lost to me.  She may not be shooting up, but she’s just as distance as my mother had always been with my father and me.  It’s my greatest fear, staring me in the face.

I almost wish Amelia would scream and cry and act crazy.  At least I’d know there’s something inside her.  As it stands, she’s a robot, completely emotionless, the walking dead.  She goes through the motions without interacting.

I’m in my office, trying to keep my mind off Amelia and on work, when a knock grabs my attention.  Dylan stands there with a crooked grin.  “Want to do lunch?”

I have several projects I need to finish, but I haven’t had an real stimulation in weeks and I could use some time with my best friend.  So I quickly shut everything down, lock my office, and follow him into the parking lot.

“You look like shit.”  Dylan raises an eyebrow.  He’s joking, but also he’s not.  He knows how strained Amelia and I have been.

“Fuck off.”  I toss him the keys to my Trans Am.  I rarely let anyone else drive, but today seems like as good a day as any.

Dylan distracts me during lunch, telling me stories about Henry and work.  I feel more light hearted than I have in months.

He walks me back to my office, which is empty now.  Looks like everyone is on their lunch break.  

Dylan sits in a chair and eyes me.  “Want to talk about it?”

“No.”  I don’t want to talk about how my life seems to be falling apart.  “I don’t know what to fucking do.”  I bang my head against the soft back of my desk chair.  “I’ve never seen this person.”

Dylan shrugs.  “Neither have I.”  He chews the inside of his cheek, which he does when he’s anxious.  “I talked to mom and she said she went through some minor ‘baby blues’.”

“This isn’t ‘baby blues’, man,” I retort.  “This isn’t even depression.  This is some alien abduction.  They took my wife and replaced her with an exact physical replica that has no emotional semblance to the woman I knew.”

I swallow, thickly.  The thought that my Amelia is gone never ceases to drown me in sorrow.  “I miss her.  I miss her.  I miss talking to her and being partners with her.  I miss her mind and affection.”

Dylan’s jaw clenches.  “Are you going to leave her?”

I glare at him.  “I didn’t make a vow that said, ‘I’ll stay until it’s not good for me’ or ‘until your sickness makes life difficult to handle’.  I said ‘for better or worse, in sickness and health’.  Life isn’t perfect and I’m not giving up on her.”

He settles into his chair.  “Aria said you wouldn’t.”

“Guess she hasn’t completely lost her touch.”  I roll my eyes.  Sometimes he thinks the stupidest things.  “It’s not easy though.”

He leans closer to me.  “She still won’t have sex with you?”

I shake my head.  “She won’t even make eye contact with me.  But even though I don’t enjoy this, I love her.  I want good things for her.”

“Do you think she wants a divorce,” he asks.

And that, right there, is my fear.  That she’s given up on me and us and our family.  “I don’t know, but I’m staying until she tells me to leave.”  I close my eyes and think of her and her smile.  “I could really use a good fuck, though.”

Dylan tries to hide his disgust, but doesn’t suceed very well.  I give him points for actively trying.  “I think I’d rather you leave her if you’re going to have sex with someone else.”

“I’m not having sex with anyone but her and I don’t plan to, I’m just saying it’d be nice.”  I motion under my desk.  “This sucks.”

“Cool.”  He clears his throat, uncomfortably and stands to leave.  “That’s my cue.”

I smile and walk him to the door, Jessica is at her desk looking at me when I turn around.  I grind my teeth together.  I can’t stand her attempts to seduce me, but they’re also getting harder and harder not to notice.  I meant it when I said I wouldn’t have sex with anyone, but it doesn’t not cross my mind sometimes.  Jessica does her damnedest to make it difficult not to notice, too.

I don’t say anything to her and close my office door to block the world out.


The smell of split pea soup fills the air when I walk in the house.  I love split pea soup, but Amelia rarely makes it.  I’m not sure why she is tonight, but drool is practically dripping onto the floor by the time I step into the kitchen.  “Smells fucking delicious, baby.”

She turns to me, actually faces me and makes eye contact, and offers me a smile that seems a little less fake than normal.  “I froze ham hock and left over meat from Easter.  I figured I’d make some stock and split pea soup for you.”

“You’re amazing.”  I stand next to her to taste a spoonful of soup.  “Damn, that’s excellent.”  I accidentally bump her hand when I put the spoon down and she doesn’t flinch from my touch.  Progress?  Perhaps.  Any progress is good.

My immediate reaction is to grab her and press her against the wall, remind her that she belongs to me.  But I realize how barbaric that sounds and that a small touch doesn’t mean she actually wants me.

It’s a little embarrassing how easily excited I am.  I guess that’s always the case, but it seems enhanced now when I’m craving her attention so badly.

“Dinner will be ready in a few minutes.”  Amelia’s voice breaks through the haze and my eyes snap to hers from her chest.  What I wouldn’t give for a taste.

My eyes don’t stay on hers for long and begin to wander lower to her lips.  The lips that have said more to me in the last six minutes than in the last six months combined.  Fuck, I want her lips on me.

None of these are new thoughts.  I think them daily, multiple times, constantly.  The fact that she seems to notice me only encourages the thoughts that are already there.

I lick my lips thinking about all the things I want to do to her.  Her lips part in response.  I make eye contact again.  “I’ll just go play with the babies while you finish, unless you want help?”

She shakes her head and returns to her soup.  I guess that’s all the conversation I’ll be getting.  Stupid me to get my hopes up.

The rest of the week goes pretty much the same way.  A couple words before dinner, maybe a shy smile, but still early to bed.  

I usually wake up with the kids on Saturdays, but I don’t hear them this morning.  It’s 8 AM.  I rush out of bed and check on them.  They’re sleeping in their basinet, holding each other.  I slide back into bed and pull out a book to read while I wait for them to wake up.

I take Eliana and Scott to Dylan and Aria’s house once  they wake up.  Amelia is still sleeping and I do my best to keep quiet.  I send her a quick text when I leave.

E: hey baby, took E & S to As.  She’d love to see you if you feel up to coming.  Let me know if you need anything.

About an hour later I get a message back.

A: enjoying time alone, thx.

I didn’t expect anything less, but it still hurts.  

I spend the entire day at Dylan’s.  Amelia is asleep by the time I get home.

Eliana and Scott don’t wake up until about 8:30 the next morning.  It’s a welcome change from the middle of the night feedings and early morning wake up calls.

We spend a quiet day at home and Amelia stays around us the whole time, which is something she hasn’t done.  She usually plays with the kids for a little while then retreats, but she doesn’t do that today.  I feel lighter than I have in a long time.  

I offer to make dinner.  She usually won’t accept the offer, instead she avoids all interaction, but tonight she relents and gets on the floor with Eliana and Scott.  I can’t see them, but I hear her laugh, a real laugh, and my heart just about bursts.

The next week follows a similar pattern.  Even if she doesn’t speak to me, she spends time with us instead of going into the room and shutting the world out.  

Thursday night, we put Eliana and Scott down together.  She’s been staying in our room, but tonight she follows me back into the living room. 

“Hi,” she whispers, shyly.  Her pink cheeks make me smile.

“Hi,” I reply.  I analyze her while she stares at the floor.  Her beauty still astounds me.  “Are you ok?”

Her eyes meet mine and I kind of can’t breathe.  “I’m not very tired.”

I try to pretend I’m not an abused pet eager for a scrap of attention.  “Is there something you’d like to do?”

She shrugs and toes the carpet.  “Did you want to play mariokart?”

Even if I didn’t want to, I still would because it means I’d get to be near her.  “Um, yes, absolutely.”

I let her win because her laugh makes me feel content and warm.  She only plays a handful of rounds before she begins to yawn.  I watch her eyes flutter in sleepiness.  

I don’t start the next round, instead I slide closer to her and rest my arm on the back of the couch.  I want to touch her so badly, but I can’t be selfish, she’s spent more time with me tonight than she has in so long.  

“You look sleepy,” I whisper.

Her head lulls towards me; she blinks slowly and offers me a loopy grin.  “I am sleepy.”

“We can go to bed.”  I’ve inched even closer to her without realizing it.  The famaliar scent of peaches and honey and car grease overwhelms me and my body reacts accordingly.

She pushes her bottom lip out.  “I’m having fun, though.”

Her sigh washes across my face.  I honesetly have no clue how we got so close.  My eyes search hers.  The intense arousal I would usually find in them is lacking and I’m sorely disappointed, but she seems to truly want to be around me.  I’ll take what I can get.  “Me, too.”  I say the words so quietly I don’t think either of us hears them.  “There’s always tomorrow.”

Amelia’s bottom lip twitches and I can’t help but wonder if she does want me to kiss her.  Her hand brushes my thigh.  I don’t look away because I’m afraid to move.  I can’t tell if it’s an accident or not.  Her face doesn’t give anything away.

She blinks rapidly then stands up and any spell we were under is broken.  “Tomorrow sounds good.”

It may not be sex, but it’s plans and that’s improvement.


Amelia gets out of bed and follows me to the front door after I finish getting ready for work.  This is the first time she’s acknowledged my presence on a weekday. 

I wait for her to say something since this is unusual.  She wrings her hands together, but her eyes sparkle in the sunlight.  

I lean against the door and grin at her.  “What’s up, Mellie?”

She fists my tie in her hand and places a soft kiss on my cheek.  “I hope you have a good day.”

I gently tug on her messy ponytail.  “I will now.”

I watch her watch me pull out of the driveway, heat still lingering where her lips had been.  

I’m floating.  I’m not delusional enough to believe we’re out of the woods, but these last couple of weeks bring back hope that maybe Amelia isnt completely lost.

Despite the uncomfortable erection I adjust in the car or risk getting arrested for indecent exposure, I walk into work with an extra pep in my step.

Not even Jessica’s overzelous welcome annoys me.

I try not to notice what she’s wearing, it’s borderline inappropriate.  Her breasts are practically falling out of her button down shirt and her skirt is tight, not leaving anything to the imagination.  It’s closer to something a street walker would wear, not a businesswoman.  She wants to be noticed and I do my best not to notice her.  

I’m in a good mood and maybe that’s a problem.  I’m not as guarded as I usually am.  

Jessica walks into my office and briefs me on my meetings and any phone calls I need to return.  She drops her pen on the way out and I don’t shift my gaze from the view of her ass even though I should. 

Think of Mellie.  She’s so much more appealing.

She’s not nearly as willing as Jessica is.

I know it would be easy, but I don’t need easy, I need real.  I will not be weak in this situation.

Truthfully, I wish I could fire her, but she’s good at her job and hasn’t actually crossed any boundaries at work.  I worry about a wrongful termination lawsuit.  So even though she’s an unnecessary temptation, I push myself to grit my teeth and endure.

I spend the day focusing on work.  So much so that I don’t even realize when lunch has come and gone.  

Jessica places a Tim Horton’s bag in front of me.  Noodle soup and a bagel sandwich with a large coffee.  I guess she pays attention to me.  “I can’t let my boss waste away to nothing.”  

I take a sip of coffee and groan.  “This was thoughtful.  I appreciate it.”

“I’m happy to do whatever you need,” she says.  I can’t tell if she’s trying extra hard to get on my good side or if I’ve just been an asshole and this is how she always acts.  I’m inclined to think she’s trying harder.  I laugh to myself.  But I am an asshole and that’s what an asshole would think.

I grab my wallet.  “How much do I owe you?”

She waves me off.  “You owe me nothing.  I wanted to take care of you.”  With that, she walks out of my office and closes the door.  

I’m a little confused.  Her outfit is obscene, but her actions seem less assertive than normal.  Maybe she’s finally given up on her crush.

I’m making notes on a campaign we need to finish this week, so I’m a little behind and will be a tad late to get home from work.  I text Amelia to let her know and she gives me a ‘thumbs up’ emoji.

My eyes are beginning to cross from analyzing everything, so I decide to finish Monday and head home for the weekend.

Everybody else left a while ago.  Except Jessica.  She’s still sitting at her desk, typing away.

“Why are you still here,” I ask from my office.

She begins shutting everything down, then comes to sit across from my desk.  “I just wanted to make sure everything was finished so we weren’t rushed next week.”

“Thank you.”  I set my suitcase down to put my suit jacket on.

Jessica shuts my office door.  “Is there anything else you need from me?”

I look between her and the door.  “No, just going home to my family.”

She closes the distance between us and trails a finger down my chest.  “The family that doesn’t need you?”

I clench my jaw and count to ten.  “What?”

She loosens my tie which both makes me uneasy and relieves me because it’s getting stuffy in this room.  “I don’t understand,” she pouts then pushes my coat off my shoulders and untucks my shirt.  

I need to leave.  I need to go home to my wife and children.  I need to get out of this situation.  I move around Jessica, but she blocks my way to the door.  “Don’t understand what?”  Keep her distracted.

Jessica runs her hands up from stomach to my chest.  “How anyone could not want you.”

The feel of her hands is familiar, even if it’s not in the way I want, they feel good and it’s difficult to think passed these feelings.  “Not want me?”

Her hand brushes over my nipple ring and the jolt of pleasure to my body is unexpected.

Jessica smirks.  “I would never hesitate to give you anything you wanted from me, but she won’t even look at you?”

“She?”  I blink and clear my throat to help clear the cob webs in my head.  I can’t follow this conversation to save my life. “Amelia?  How would you know if she doesn’t want me?”

I step away from Jessica again, but she follows and I’ve gotten myself backed into a corner.  “I heard you the other day.  I didn’t mean to.  But you need something.  How selfish to make you go so long.”

I look passed her to figure out a way to get out of her grasp without hurting her, but I come up empty.  

Jessica’s hands are under my shirt, touching my bare stomach.  I need to push her away, I need to leave, I need to be anywhere but here, I just can’t remember exactly why when this touch feels so good; like a missing lifeline. 

She’s a few inches shorter than me with heals on, so she can easily reach my neck.  The feel of her breath on my skin unnerves me and jolts me back into reality.  I grab her arms to push her away.

I need this to stop, I need Amelia.  As I move to shove Jessica away from me, tired of her games,  she leans farther into me.  “Sh, it’s ok, honey.  It’ll be our little secret.”

My entire world stops and I can’t make my body move the way I want it to.  

I want to shove Jessica away.  I want to tell her to leave.  I want to run and find Amelia.

But all I do is allow Jessica to lean in and kiss me.  I don’t want to, but I kiss her back.  I scream at myself to stop, but instead I allow her to move my hands to her hips.

Jessica takes control and I follow her lead like a damn puppet.  Her tongue drags across my bottom lip before fully kissing me.  

I hate the sickly sweet taste of fake strawberry lip gloss.  I hate her loud whimpers.  I hate the way she smells like manufactured perfume.  I hate the way her hips are wide but not as soft as I desire.  I hate that I can’t stop kissing her.

Jessica’s hand brushes my erection and I finally find the will to make her stop.

I grab her wrist, probably much harder than I should and shove her away from me.  “Leave.”  My voice is low and raspy and I’ve never even heard myself sound this way.

“What?”  Jessica looks truly confused.

“Leave this building and never come back.”  I stalk towards the door and throw it open so hard it slams against the wall.  “Leave!”

She walks towards the door while rolling her eyes.  “You think anyone will believe whatever story you tell them?”

I stifle a smirk.  “I don’t need to tell a story.”  I point to the cameras.  “They’ll all be able to see the truth.  Now leave and don’t expect a recommendation letter or a good reference from us.”

I shut my office door in her face and crumble onto the couch.  What the hell did I just do?


© Copyright 2020 Writing_wall44. All rights reserved.


Add Your Comments:






Other Content by Writing_wall44

More Great Reading

Popular Tags